LEAKED: From Mike R's Inbox

From a remote Cumulus information technology administrator, exclusive to My Ticket Confession:

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TO:        mrhyner@cumulus.com (mike_rhyner)

FROM:      jcatlin@cumulus.com (jeff_catlin)

DATE:      March 2, 2015

SUBJECT:   Some Thoughts from Bruce


Hey, OGW, hope you're staying warm. 

Listen, you know BG stopped by the station a few weeks back on his "grand tour" of the Cumulus sports talkers.  Great to see him again, hope he got a chance to stop by the show by to shake your hand.  Looks great, dunnee?! 

He told me he was going to have a few thoughts for us after hanging in Dallas and talking to people and driving around listening to the station for a few days, said he'd drop me a line.  Got a note from him this morning.

Turns out, he's got a little homework for you.

He's jotted down a few phrases he'd like you to study carefully and start working them in during the broadcast.  Actually, he used the phrase "tell Mike to memorize and use now."  May want to print this out and use it as a cheat sheet.

Look, man, I know you're the godfather, the founder of the feast, the inventor of sports radio in Dallas.  Gotta tell you, though, with respect, this sort of isn't a suggestion.  You know how a boss can sometimes throw something out that looks like some kind of random shit but you know it really isn't?  This is like that.  Gotta do this.  After these last two books our leverage with the parent to shuck the BS that usually comes from Atlanta ain't what it used to be.   Kinda under the microscope, ya know?

When I drove him back to Love he mentioned he was going to be popping in on iHeart to see how things were sounding. 

So you may want to start with this as soon as you've got them down, like today.

Cut and pasted this from BG's email.  Here are your phrases that pay from Bruce:

"Let me finish."

"Just hold on a minute before you start in."

"Look, I'm talking here."

"Jesus Christ, don't you ever stop talking?"

"Don't interrupt me, I'm saying something."

"This is my segment."

"Let me tell YOU something.  I was rockin' Gertie's and the Longhorn Ballroom all night and doing radio all day when you were just a glint off the bottom of a jigger of your pappy's Old Grand-Dad." 

"My turn here."

"Me taking a breath is not your cue to start talking."

"Here's the deal: I'll talk while you re-check that story you just found  on lowinfo.com forty-seven seconds ago so you don't accidentally misreport that Jesus has returned or the sun has exploded or Taylor Swift has married Dwaine Caraway."

"You want to shut your mic off there?"

"You know, it's absolutely amazing to me that What's On Mike's Mind is coming exclusively out of your mouth."

"Christ, even Bob Sturm has been known to let someone else talk for up to 12 seconds at a time."

"This is your quiet time." 

"Please, just  .  .  .  just  .  .  .  let me talk for awhile."

"I want my Hammer back.  That's not a drop."

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

BREAKING: Bruce Gilbert Makes a Return to the Ticket -- Brief and of Uncertain Significance

This story starts in mid-December 2014.

I certainly missed this, and I don't recall any of our far-flung correspondents mentioning it, but former (and noted) Ticket Program Director Bruce Gilbert joined Cumulus as "Senior Vice President/Sports" on or around December 15, 2014.

Cumulus News -- Bruce Gilbert

That position was newly-created for him.  He had previously held the same title at iHeart Radio.

So Bruce Gilbert is now officially -- once again -- a CTO (Cumulo-Ticket Overlord, for new Confessors).

So this isn't exactly fresh news.

But this might be:

A radio-industry source who has some ties to Cumulus has told me that, since then, Gilbert has been seen in the halls at The Ticket on at least one occasion and perhaps more than one.  I cannot evaluate my source's credibility, but it would make some sense that, at a minimum, Gilbert would be touring Cumulus's sportsradio properties.

Does this mean his hand may be seen in some of the recent changes we have all noted?

I don't know.  My source did not know.  Only that his person had been observed in the general vicinity of The Little One.

Whether Gilbert was at The Ticket or not, and whether he made some, um, suggestions or not, I do think it is of some significance that Cumulus created this position for him, and that he's a Ticket glory-day program director.

So:  Maybe less here than meets the eye.  I don't want to overstate the significance of his possible physical presence during a Ticket visit.

But maybe not less; maybe some arse-securing is in order, as Confessors continue to urge upon us.

But in any case -- I thought The Confessor would like to know.

Almost Drove off the Road

I was laughing hard.

I won't be able to reconstruct this entirely, and I don't recall whether Corby or Danny made some of the incidental remarks, but Mike R cracked me up in the opening segment today.  Maybe The Unticket will have it.

It wasn't so much what he said, it was how he said it.  No  .  .  .  no, it was what he said, too.

Setup:

Corby is talking.  Rangers preseason game is on.  He interrupts what he is saying to say that "[Someone] Cowsill" has hit a three-run homer against Alexi Ogando, realizing that this will make Mike sad.

There is some banter about the old group The Cowsills.  Mike does not believe that any Cowsills played major league baseball.

They bantered a bit on the name, and someone said "maybe it was The Herd."  (ESPN guy Colin Cowherd.)

Mike says, "I can't stand that guy."

Mike says, "The Laddie [former Ticket PD] probably knows what he's [Cowherd] is up to.  And you know who else was tight with him?  Djeel-BEAR."  (Another former PD, Bruce Gilbert.)

Corby:  "Bruce Gilbert and Cowherd were buddies?"

Mike:  "Gilbert gave him his start.  What did he [Gilbert] ever do for this place?"

Corby:  "He hired Bob and Dan."

Mike, after a pause, deliberately and with emphasis:  "Whoop.  Dee.   Do."

Danny:  "They've been solid on middays for 15 years!"

Mike, contemptuously, practically spitting out the words:  "Ah, you could get a chicken to do middays around here."

Good thing I was cruising the middle lane with no traffic or I'd been in the ditch or up against the divider for sure.