Fred Garvin Runs 'Em Down -- Who's The Ticket MVP?

Confessor Fred Garvin sent me an essay on his view of the Most Valuable Player on The Ticket, MVP as being defined -- reasonably, I think -- by him.  The views Fred expresses are not necessarily those of Your Plainsman or this site.

I picked the redheads.

As always, comments are welcome.  However, please refrain from ad hominem attacks on Fred or his analysis.  If you disagree, give us your reasons and, if you'd like, an alternative candidate.

I thank Fred for his contribution.  Please send your own proposed post to ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com.  I'll let you know if I think it's suitable or if I would like changes.  You might wish to drop me a proposal for an article first,as Fred did in this case.

Many thanks.  

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It’s time for a classic barroom debate: Who’s the MVP of The Ticket?

By “MVP,” I mean the regular host—not substitute host, not weekend host, not Jake, not Danny—who brings the most radio goodness to the table. I’m talking about the person who, if they were to depart The Ticket tomorrow, would create the biggest void, not just for their own show, but for the station as a whole.

In my view, there are only three contenders: George Dunham, Bob Sturm, and Gordon Keith.

One of these we can dismiss fairly quickly: Gordon.

Gordon is loaded with talent. Humorist, writer, musician, impressionist (his Trump is the best in the country), cultural commentator. He’s so talented, in fact, that I was mildly relieved when I heard him sound a little pitchy at Summer Bash. Because really, to be as good as he is at everything else, and to be a handsome son-of-a-_*****, AND to be able to sing—well, that would just be cruel to those of us who struggle to do any one thing with distinction.

The only flaw in Gordon’s game is that he doesn’t know sports. And that’s a big deal when you’re on a sports talk radio station. It means that Gordon is largely MIA for important sports conversations. What’s more, in the eight years I’ve been listening to The Ticket, he doesn’t appear to have done anything to address this weakness. So, as great as the Great Gordo is, he’s only going to take home the bronze.

Dunham and Sturm, on the other hand, are the most well-rounded Ticket hosts. They’re five-tool players. To paraphrase a line from a Ticket promo, they can do everything the other hosts do, but the other hosts—talented though they may be—can’t do everything Jub and Sports Sturm can do. 

Ginger time out:

 

 There can be only one MVP, however. So, who’s it going to be? Here’s your point-by-point comparison:

Interviewing: Bob asks the most meandering, self-referential, commentary-laden questions in the business. Good, interesting questions, mind you, but questions that challenge you not to lose the thread. George, on the other hand, keeps things simple. His questions are less thought-provoking than Bob’s, but they cover the essential ground clearly and quickly.

Advantage: This is a tough one, but I’m going to give it to Bob. His interviews, though sometimes awkward, tend to explore unfamiliar terrain, and elicit fresh responses.

Humor: Because he’s partners with Dan, Bob’s humor is underrated. He has a surprisingly quick wit, though, and a fine sense of when to work a joke and when to move on. But George has another gear…impressions, polished comedy bits, and the ability to serve as an effective straight man to Gordon, who needs good set-ups, appropriate reactions, and just the right amount of leash. George delivers all of that.

Advantage: George. Bob may be naturally funnier, but George has arrows in his quiver that Bob does not.

Sports knowledge: Mike knows baseball, Corby knows college football, Jake knows the NBA…but George and Bob know everything. They can talk the Big Four with ease. Bob, though, knows soccer too. Plus, when it comes to NFL and the Cowboys, Bob brings information and analysis to the table that you’re not going to hear elsewhere (including from George).

Advantage: Bob. In terms of sports knowledge, he and George are head and shoulders above most Ticket hosts, but Bob brings more depth and breadth to the conversation than George does.

Music: Music is a big part of Ticket culture—making music, and talking about others who make it. This is obviously a passion for George, but barely a passing interest for Bob.

Advantage: George. His knowledge of music is far superior to Bob’s. Plus, though he’s modest about his musical abilities, I’ve seen George blow the doors off the joint more than once. Bob, on the other hand, is the guy in the audience with you and me, saying “Wow…”

Pop culture: Television, movies, teacher-student sex, politics, Internet memes, weird-but-true news stories…all of this is fodder and fair game for Ticket hosts. Both Bob and George have a fairly chaste sensibility, and tend to shy away from sex-related stories. (This can be difficult, as they are paired with co-hosts—Dan and Gordon, respectively—who often fixate on things carnal.) Beyond that realm, though, Bob seems more attuned to what’s going on in movies and television, and willing to wade into most conversations initiated by Dan or Jake, regardless of topic. George, on the other hand, sometimes hangs out on the periphery of these discussions, letting Gordon and Craig drive the segment.

Advantage: Bob. He’s more comfortable with non-sports talk than George, and more eager to engage in it.

On-air chemistry: I like Dan. A lot. But he isn’t a particularly generous co-host. Bob, though, works hard to generate actual conversations with Dan, and to participate fully in Dan’s bits. This works so well, I find myself wondering if they’re friends outside of work. George and Craig, on the other hand—though friends of long-standing—don’t have the same easy connection. Often, they sound like they’re talking past each other, rather then having an authentic conversation. And George’s impatience with Gordon’s sometimes juvenile approach is obvious.

Advantage: Bob. His rapport with Dan seems natural and fun, which is a considerable achievement, considering Dan’s style. George isn’t on that same level with Craig…and certainly not with Gordon.

X-factor: Both Bob and George seem like exceedingly kind, thoughtful, generous, humble, good men. George does a lot of charity work, and to hear him get choked up when talking about senior citizens has, more than once, brought a tear to my eye. (He’s not given to cheap emotion, so you know his compassion is genuine.) He’s also quick to defend others against Gordon’s sharper barbs.

Bob knows he won life’s lottery—great job, great wife, great kids, great pipes—and like George, seeks to share his blessings: by adopting a child from Honduras, by quarterbacking the “Drop Your Pants” event, and by lifting up his coworkers. (He invites input from Jake and TC, knowing that he’s already made it, but that they need reps if they’re ever going to achieve what he has.)

Advantage: Neither. Both seem like guys you’d be proud to number among your friends.

Y-factor: George is on the air for 4.5 hours per day. Bob is on for 3.0 hours. Both are impressive (can you imagine filling even one hour every day, day after day, for years on end, without taking calls?). But mathematically speaking, one is more impressive than the other…doubly so, when you consider the time of day we’re talking about.

Advantage: George.

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Based on the foregoing analysis, the application of a proprietary algorithm, and the sprinkling of a little magic dust, your 2018 Ticket MVP Award goes to:

Bob Sturm!

Congratulations, Bob. (And George, against this level of competition, there’s no shame in taking the silver.)

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We had a request not long ago for Maureen O'Hara.

Someone home behind those green peepers.  And

she could act.