This morning, the Musers were talking about the ridiculous conclusion to the Scripps National Spelling Bee, where they ran out of words with eight contestants remaining.
I can help them out a bit with their puzzlement over that.
This threatens to reveal my closely-guarded identity -- well, not that closely-guarded, since I introduced myself by name around the Siroises "The Meg" party with my genuwine megalodon tooth and Mike tweeted out my summer-suited image -- but I am a frequent and sought-after pronouncer at various spelling bees in the Collin County school districts and county bees.
The "pronouncer" is the person who . . . pronounces the words for the kids to spell. I would prefer "Word King" or "Spellmeister," but no, it's "pronouncer." I am permitted to, on the speller's request following my initial pronunciation:
-- repeat it a reasonable number of times.
-- give the language/country of origin.
-- use it in a sentence.
-- identify the part of speech (noun, adjective, etc.).
-- give any alternative pronunciations.
Last year, both the first and second place finishers in the Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C., were winners in bees I pronounced. These are the two charmers (from the 2018 Collin County Spelling Bee, where they placed 1-2; the young lady placed first in a different bee I pronounced):
There are three factors causing bees to run out of words:
(1) These bees have increased in popularity and prestige, and parents and ambitious students are taking them more seriously. So the kids study their not-yet-overfed asses off. When I began pronouncing bees around 15 years ago, it was the usual mix of kids. For awhile, the Chinese and other Far East Asian kids were dominant. Now, as can be perceived from the eight finalists, and to which I can attest from personal experience, it is the distinguished descendants of the Indian Subcontinent who have lapped the field. (Rishik Gandhasri; Erin Howard; Saketh Sundar; Shruthika Padhy, Sohum Sukhatankar (Texas); Abhijay Kodali (Texas); Christopher Serrao; Rohan Raja (Texas).
No racism here -- they're wonderful kids and the parents have been very gracious to your pronouncer (yeah, there's the occasional asshole mom or dad who see some kind of institutional error in every misspelling their kid issues, and I guarantee you that trait is transracial). Every time I do one of these bees I think that the world will probably end up in pretty good hands if these are the smarties who are going to run things.
These families, and these kids, take education very, very seriously.
(2) At least in the lower rounds, at the individual school level, and, I have been told, the district and county levels, the kids are given lists of words that include the words used in the bees. I don't know what they do at the regional and national level. I have objected to this, but that's the way they do it. And what it means is that these school/district/county bees go on forEVer. I've been on my feet for 4.5 hours trying to eliminate 35-40 kids. This is a ridiculous practice having nothing to do with spelling talent, and should be discontinued.
(3) Poor planning by the Scripps people and the local bees that use the Scripps lists and rules. Several years ago I began alerting bee organizers for bees I was pronouncing that they did not have enough words, and I insisted that they have multiple alternate word lists (usually from prior years) ready to go. We needed them on more than one occasion. No bee I ever pronounced ever ran out of words, but last year, the North Texas Regional Bee (sponsored by the Morning News) did run out of words. Fortunately, there were only two kids left to be co-champions.
Anyway, there's more than you want to know about spelling bees. They're fun, the kids are inspirational, and Your Plainsman developed some notable quizmaster chops to keep kids and parents in line. But they can be grueling.
Can you use me in a sentence, Pronouncer Man? |
NOTE:
Your Plainsman will be out of the country the next two weeks. I hope to find internet access where I'm going, but in the meantime, please keep things both interesting and civil. Thanks.