Corby's Laws

On balance, this site defends Corby Davidson.  I think he’s a unique radio talent and he entertains me.  I have probably laughed out loud at his utterances more than I have at those of other hosts.   I don’t look to him (or any Ticket show or host) for highly-informed commentary on current affairs, science, philosophy, or anything that really matters much to me, or that I know much about.    

I do understand less generous opinions about the man.   Critics are not wrong about lack of preparation, exaggeration and hyperbolic descriptions, celeb-sniffing, mic-hogging (but this is entirely a result of Mike R’s and Jeff C’s permissiveness), and excessive holding-forth on matters political.  Perhaps I’ve become inured to them.  In any event, I can’t remember the last time I punched out of The Hardline.   So on balance I’m a pretty strong Corby fan; while I’d insist on some fine-tuning if I were the Catman of the Western Hemisphere, I'm not one of those calling for the ‘Line’s ouster from PM drive.

But  .  .  .  (you knew it was coming):

Corby was on a major rant on the show last week that I’ll describe below, one of those that needed to be about 2/5 as long as it was, and much reduced in vehemence.  Nothing upsetting, not a life-and-death topic.  But as he went on, I formulated a set of rules for  listening to Corby’s extended oral essays, which I call:

Corby’s Three Laws of Inverse Certitude:

First Law:  The more certain Corby purports to be, the more likely he is to be wrong.

Second Law:  The more vehemently Corby expresses his insistence that there is no room for dispute or discussion, the greater the magnitude of his error is likely to be.

Third Law:  The likelihood of error in any rant ending with Corby saying “period, end of story” approaches 100%.

All right, so now I’m being hyperbolic, jes' having a li'l fun here.  Corby isn’t always wrong in his impromptu declamatory lectures.

But this one  .  .  . 

Corby was commenting on the Sports Illustrated story about what happened with Michael Vick’s fighting dogs.  It’s a great story.  The dogs – most, but not all, were pit bulls or near-pit bulls -- were evaluated, and all but three were deemed “re-educable.”   They’re in the process of being treated and placed.  The process is a long one, and the treatment intense.   The new owners themselves appear to be concentrated on the special needs of these dogs.  To date – no maulings.  Not all the dogs are out of the woods yet, but it is a very encouraging tale.

Corby’s conclusion:  Dogs, irrespective of breed, are never inherently problem animals.   Viciousness or aggression in dogs is always the result of bad owners.   Never the breed; always the owner.  He was that black-and-white about it and said it several different ways.  Period, end of story.

Now let me say two things here:  (1) I am not about to claim that the inclination of a dog’s owner, or the dog’s training, has no effect on its tendency toward viciousness.  (2) I am not about to claim that all or even most pit bulls are vicious.

I will point out, however, that studies unanimously show that the pit bull is involved in a hugely disproportionate percentage of bites and fatalities in the U.S.   An organization devoted to dog-bite awareness collected the statistics from 2005 to 2017.  Pit bulls, which account for about 6.5% of dogs, were responsible for 66% of all fatalities.   Another study for the period 1982 to 2012 reports that the molosser breeds (pit bulls, Rottweilers, mastiffs, and some less common breeds) were responsible for 79% of the attacks that result in bodily harm and 77% of those that result in maiming – well more than half accounted for by pit bulls in each case.   A 2000 study by the Centers for Disease Control examining a 20-year period reported very similar numbers.

These numbers alone do not prove inherent viciousness.   Certainly the size and strength of these dogs – and their tenacity and imperviousness to pain once they begin an attack – means their attacks are likely to be far more dangerous than those of a much smaller dog, which would tend to inflate reports of their predations and the seriousness of the attacks.

But these statistics call into serious question -- all but refute -- the assertion that pit bulls do not pose a problem that is not accounted for in all cases by abusive owners (Corby’s position).   They almost certainly do.   Pit bulls are not the only dogs reported to have attacked humans without provocation and with no history of vicious behavior, but the numbers are hard to explain away – surely “bad” or neglectful owners are not gigantically overrepresented among the owners of molosser breeds.  Even scholars who are friends of the pit bull say that the dog’s upbringing requires particular care in socialization.   Numerous courts of appeal have affirmed the inherent dangers associated with the breed.

And, frankly, think about it:   You’ve seen it yourself -- herding breeds will engage in herding behavior whether an owner trains them to herd or not.  A variety bred to kill will be more inclined to violence than one bred to race.   Corby's position is:  It's always nurture, it's never nature.   Oh?  Ever known a rotten kid with great parents? 

 

Let's not forget that Corby has done great work for the Good Puppy Dog for Dallas DogRRR for which he deserves our gratitude.  He may believe he’s helping the cause of the pit bull by absolving them of all inbred vices.   I know some great people who are friends of the “pitty,” and the breed has probably received some bad press it does not deserve.   But to claim that attacking pit bulls are always the result of bad owners is unhelpful.   When it comes to unprovoked, serious assaults on humans, molossers are a problem disproportionate to their numbers, and pit bulls lead the pack.

Period, end of article.

I'd Feel a Whole Lot Better about Buying Insurance from City Credit Union if Sharon Moore Knew How to Pronounce "Insurance"

[EOM]

[Not Sharon Moore.  Insured status unknown.]

Oh, Savannah!!

Hey, what gives?

For the longest time, The Ticket has been telling me that Savannah is my favorite Tight Ends girl.

OK, I have no reason for her not to be my favorite Tight Ends girl.

She seems like a nice girl.

I mean, I never actually met her, but she seems nice to me.

And she promised me in all those ads that:

     --  the beer is frosty;

     --  the food is mouth-watering; and

     --  the T's are poppin'!

I believed my favorite Tight Ends girl, nice Savannah. 

But today, I hear a couple of Tight Ends ads being read by some woman named Joanna, and she says that she's my favorite Tight Ends girl!

What happened to Savannah?  Why can't she still be my favorite Tight Ends girl?

I can't even find a photograph on the World Wide Webs identifying any of the many Tight Ends girls who appear there as Joanna.


I'm sure she's nice, maybe a nice as Savannah, but indications are scarce.

But here's the worst part:  Joanna promises that:

     --  the beer is frosty;

     --  the food is mouth-watering; and

that's it!

Joanna does not promise that the T's are poppin'!

Oh, she says the Tight Ends girls will all dress to impress.  But hell, so does Angela Merkel, and no one would claim that her T's are poppin'.   

So it seems we have come to the end of the era of the poppin' T's at Tight Ends.  Or at least the end of the era where Cumulus Standards and Practices will allow a sponsor to claim that visitors to its establishment will see young women's improbably large breasts exploding out of  their cotton-lycra blend tops.

Savannah, come back! 

 

 

    

Random Items

(1) Has Santé Center for Healing had more than one patient?

(2)  We've all heard "Buyers Barricade" mentioned as a sponsor of one or another Ticket operation, but I can't recall ever hearing an actual ad for it.  I looked it up.  It's a company called "Buyers Barricades," first word non-possessive plural, second word plural, which is not how I'd been hearing it all these years, but now that I listen more closely, yes, they do put an "s" on the end (unless they just started doing it, which I suspect).   That's not very interesting, I know, so looked for something to spice up this paragraph.  Ah, here it is -- despite its name, it is actually in the barricade rental business.   

(3)  Anyone switched over to Gbag on a regular basis?

(4)  Anyone dipped their toe into Gbag and returned? 

I Know I've Lost My Lonely Fight against "Fight Night"

I've written on several occasions about my dislike of Fight Night. 

I don't like the concept of amateurs with no skills at defense receiving a beating. 

I don't like the broadcast with the same stale gags and the four-man team of announcers all going "OHHHHhhhhhh" whenever a blow is struck, and you can't tell what has happened and they all talk over each other anyway.

And I don't like the thought that the first time someone gets seriously hurt in the ring -- I know, it hasn't happened in all these years -- it could go very hard for The Ticket.

Of course, I don't really expect to have any influence on things like this to begin with, so the survival of Fight Night isn't all that disappointing.  I conceded defeat in last year's column on the subject.

So this year, I'll content myself with pointing out something of which the Ticket hosts seem unaware:

Laurence Cole is not a good boxing referee.  He is very poorly regarded in the profession.  His father "Dickie" Cole held a number of high posts with Texas and boxing organizations, and promoted Laurence's refereeing career with plum assignments, or so it has been reported.  His performances in the ring have been roundly (NPI) criticized, and he has even been suspended from officiating bouts in Texas.  His poor ring command is regarded as dangerous for boxers.  Check it out:

Laurence Cole Called Out by Boxing Writers

But The Ticket seems to think it has a legitimizing presence with Cole in the ring.  It doesn't.

Hope everyone gets home safely and with brains intact tonight.

Let's Continue the Discussion of Gbag v. Hline

Fascinating news for Dallas terrestrial sports-guy-talk radio junkies.  G-Bag going to 2-7.  A bold and smart move by the Fan.  In the past I've given GBag a try and didn't care for it, but that was a long time ago.  I'll try to check it out and see what I think. 

This news is of particular interest in light of the analysis of the last set of ratings.  Confessor DA posted an article analyzing them.  The big news in that article was that, while in general, The Ticket was still #1 overall, listening to sports radio was way down from the same interval the year before.

However, buried in that article was this statement:  "One positive for The Fan, they defeated The Ticket in weekday prime (M-F 6a-7p) with Men 18-34."

That datum should send a shiver down the spine of Dan Bennett and Jeff Catlin.

This sets the stage for a program that attracts a younger demo to go against a Hardline largely believed to have grown stale and complacent (although not so much by me).

I caution that we have seen other programs that were thought at the time to pose a serious threat to The Hardline.  That includes Ben & Skin, and remember the hoohah surrounding the entry of the Richie Whitt/Greg Williams into the fray?

But Gbag seems to be a more serious contender, an overall better and more professional presentation than past contenders.

Will Mike R arise from his torpor and reassert control over The Hardline?  Will Corby prepare segments in advance of the commercial break preceding said segments?  

I would be interested in knowing how streaming factors into the economics of terrestrial radio competition.  The Ticket is one of the most-often streamed radio stations in the world -- am I correct in recalling that it comes in at #2 behind the BBC?  If Gbag is to be considered a success, will it have to make a dent in that segment of listeners?  Beyond my radio expertise, I'm afraid.

Anyway, let's continue the commentary on this.  I'll conclude by excerpting a fun comment from the last thread from Anonymous 656:

"Very very interesting stuff, fellow Confessors. Game on, indeed. THL had best step up their game, like, NOW. People, I believe we might be about to experience one of the coolest things a listener can witness, something that hasn't occurred around these here parts since the mid-80s (and really doesn't happen anymore, anywhere): Ladies and Germs, I think we might have a station war on our horizon. If so, buckle up buttercups, because it's gonna be one b-i-t-c-h of a ride. G-BaG has been and continues to be on the rise. Their fanbase keeps growing and growing more and more rabid. VERY reminiscent of the nascent Ticket years--especially with THL. THL, on the other hand, lost its fastball long ago. It's coasted on having damn near zero competition in its time slot. Can they step it up and be the true juggernaut that inspired the masses to walk out on a Rangers game or will they in a few books fade into a perennial second? How will B&S fare v. The Invasion and BaD? Will the CTO offer a counter move? If so, what? And will those (and there are many) who listen to G-BaG and switch to The Ticket once B&S are up now flip flop, leaving THL with less listeners but perhaps giving BaD more (though the final hour of BaD will go against G-BaG)? Whatever happens, best pop ya popcorn, pimps, ladies, and playas, because it's gonna be thrill ride. Bring. It. ON!

"And you were pondering on whether to close up shop or not, Pman..... THIS is what MTC is all about."

 

Before George Begins His College Gambling Experiment, He May Wish to Look into the Difference between "Logarithms" and "Algorithms"

My Zack Greinke Story

A couple of days ago The Hardline was telling Zack Greinke stories.  I believe it may have been on Mike's Mind. 

Mike was actually able to get in a few fun Grienke facts without interruption.

I have a Zack Greinke story.  It's not much of a story.

Greinke first played major league ball for the Royals, from 2004 to 2009.  I believe this story took place during a time when he was fairly celebrated, which would have been early on, and then again starting in 2008.  Timing isn't important.

He lived in a nice condominium building in Kansas City.

My sainted Aunt Norma lived in the same condominium building.

She had two Royal fan sons and two Royal fan grandsons.

It was well known even at the time that Greinke had a social anxiety disorder, and condo residents had been instructed to leave him alone.  Which they did.

But Aunt Norma thought perhaps she had a harmless way around it.  She baked a big batch of cookies and left four baseballs at his door with a note respectfully requesting autographs.

Greinke obliged.  I don't know if he left the baseballs back at her door, or left them outside his door which she then picked up when checking on her scheme.  But he signed 'em.  Mike R remarked that, for all his shyness, he is much better with young fans.

That's my Zack Greinke story.  Aunt Norma, RIP.

Look Deep Into Your Hearts

There comes a time in the life of every P1 and Confessor when he pauses, thinks:

that he must really be honest with himself,

no matter what he is saying to the outside world,

or in the comments he leaves on Reddit or My Ticket Confession,

or in the emails he sends to Jeff ("The New World Catman") Catlin,

or what he mutters under his breath when he's driving home from work;

and he asks himself:

Is The Hardline really as bad as I've been saying and thinking it is?

Corby and The Hardline get more grief from readers in these pages than do any other host/showgram.  Is it deserved?


I acknowledge the obvious:

The Hardline lads are very light on show preparation.  We can hear it, and we hear other Ticket notables acknowledge it on the air (Mike Sirois being a recent example).  Corby is a bit of a celeb-sniffer and has a strong attraction to the kickass lifestyle he is able to enjoy because of his local celebrity, and has a stylistic addiction to hyperbole.  Danny's cynicism can be wearing.    Each of them is at or near the bottom of apparent sports knowledge among all of the hosts.  (No?  The only evidence we have is what comes through the buds, sorry lads.)  The political leftism is just so unnecessary and trendy and contrary to the iconoclasm one would hope from a show called "The Hardline."

And the jewel in the crown of the show's issues:  Hall-of-Fame Mike too often becomes Checkout Mike.  This site has offered the thought many times that Mike, not Corby, is the author of the weaknesses of the Hardline.  He has -- yes, I think he still has, I don't think it's atrophied from disuse -- the authority to sharpen up that show, and to beat back the browbeating he takes way too often and at too-great length from Corby and Danny.  But he seems to have decided that, most of the time, it easier not to.

It's can be sad to hear, because I and many of you have observed that Corby is better, much better, away from the Hardline when he's had to step up his game, or when he's running a Hardline on his own.  When Mike is engaged or has a sportsy co-host during a Corby vacay, he can rise to the heights of the pre-Greggo-meltdown days.  Danny may be the wittiest off-the-cuff guy on the station.

So let me stake my position here:  I still love The Hardline. I almost never punch out.  I'm in for the sometimes genuinely hilarious stuff they get going.  Corby can be a very funny man -- I probably laugh out loud at him more than any other host on the station (Junior and Gordon in a tie for a close second).  Yes, I'd like much greater balance.  Yes, I'd like to feel like segments didn't get planned during the just-completed commercial break.  Yes, I'd like to hear Mike get up on his hind legs and sound like a real old grey wolf who has had enough.  But in the meantime, there's plenty to enjoy on The Hardline.  The ratings back me up -- still on top despite the repeated efforts of the competition to cull a compromised calf from the herd.  Corby is a frequent leader to those who correspond with Why Today Doesn't Suck.  It isn't just that there isn't any competitor worthy listening to -- on its merits, The Hardline is -- is still -- great radio.

I'm not going to tell anyone to stop listening if they loathe Corby, although that would seem to be a simple route to a better life if you really can't stand the guy.  You may be weary of this characterization, but I really think Corby is the Howard Cosell of The Ticket.  (Uh, do Confessors remember Howard Cosell?)  An annoying on-air presence, a weird voice, but a superior interviewer -- come on, guys, he's really good -- and somehow oddly compelling enough that you can't turn away. 

Now, you don't have to stop criticizing Corby or Mike or Danny or the show as a whole on this site (with the usual cautions regarding vulgarity, anger, and ad hominem attacks on co-Confessors).

But I do want you to search your soul and consider whether, on balance, The Hardline really, really lets you down with regularity.

Speaking only for myself (who else?), it does not.   It's about as good as it's ever been, if not better.

I'm with you, Pdunce.  And that Mino is dreamy!

Gosh, You Guys

When I offered that tenth anniversary post and mused about it possibly being time to fold this particular tent, I braced myself for a slew of readers who thought that maybe it was time to say goodnight.  Who thought the hip Reddit page was more vital and interesting and tolerant of, shall we say, more vividly-expressed opinions than old-lady MTC.

Instead, I got a bunch of really nice, really thoughtful "thank yous" and good wishes for the site's continued health.

Thank you.  I have spent a lot of time on this site and I appreciate your good wishes very, very much.

So, while I'm not making any promises, I'm going to keep this joint going for awhile.  In fact, my circumstances may be changing in ways that will allow me to spend more time writing, and maybe even more time listening, although less certain about the latter.  I'll see what I can do about getting up some items that don't just rehash thoughts we've all had for the last ten years.

I have had occasion to spend some time in a major city with MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL teams.  It has one sports-talk station.  It is absolutely terrible.  Unlistenably bad.  Shoutin' ya' down, as Conrad would say.  Hahhhrible, as Big Bob Wilonsky would say.

So as much as one might punch out on Corby, or doze off during one of Bob's questions, or find Gordon unpleasant to the man in the street -- I say to you again, O man, woman, and child, we are blessed with The Ticket.

And Jah is still making redheads.

So let's keep the discussion going for a bit, eh?

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310 

Today is the Tenth Anniversary of "My Ticket Confession"

Ah, Confessors.

A couple of years ago it dawned on me how long I've been doing this blog.

I thought to myself at the time -- I'll keep it going through ten years, then I'll decide.

Forgot about it.

Then looked at the calendar a couple of days ago, and there it was.

I wasn't ready to decide, and, truth to tell, I'm not ready now.

I mean, look at the damned thing.  I get something up maybe once a week, usually not even that often.  There's nothing much new to say about a station that doesn't change that much.  Even the JV have been pretty steady for awhile.

No scoops.  No scandals. No Ticket guys back-channeling me with a tidbit from inside.

Hell, I'm not even a Ticket influencer.

My first commenter?  Michael Gruber.

I look at the dashboard.  908 entries.  That's a lot; that's enough.  Several other Ticket blogs have come and gone, lasting at the most a few weeks before vanishing.  Ten years, that's a nice body of work.  And a nice round number.

But there's that nagging line item -- "Drafts (10)."  Items I've started and put aside for another day.  Some of it is stale, but there's material there for more articles.  And I've got a list of other ideas -- again, some out of date, but some could be freshened up for a new entry.

I've been teasing a big STD (Scorching Ticket Disquisition) for awhile.  It would be about BaD Radio, since I've been able to listen to more of it lately, and for some reason Confessors have the idea that I either dislike or have underappreciated it.  I don't think either is true, and I was going to write about it.

Note, however, that I haven't done it.

The Ticket is ten years older, and so am I.  My life has changed a lot -- O, my Confessors, a lot -- since I started this joint.  I still listen to The Ticket every chance I get and it still means so very much to me.   But I'm not sure I have much more to say about it, and my time -- ah, my time.   So much else going on I'd be happy to tell you about, but it would be of no interest to the Confessor.

But it would explain why I'm giving some serious thought to drawing shut the curtains on the confessional.

But not today.

So spare a good thought for My Ticket Confession and your faithful Plainsman, and wish us a happy tenth anniversary.

And -- of course -- Thank You for Shopping at My Ticket Confession.

Yeah, Mr. P, tell me what it's like to hang around for too long.

Reagor-Dykes CFO Pleads Guilty to Wire Fraud

https://www.lubbockonline.com/news/20190618/former-rdag-cfo-shane-smith-admits-to-federal-wire-fraud-charge

Interestingly, neither Reagor nor Dykes has been indicted, and there is apparently some reason to believe they did not know about the massive fraud scheme.

However, they both personally guaranteed the dealerships'  indebtedness to Ford Credit Co., and a United States district judge has just ordered ol' Bart to pay up his portion of the $110 million indebtedness.  Dykes settled with Ford for around $58 million.

https://www.kcbd.com/2019/05/24/judge-denies-objection-rules-reagor-must-repay-ford-motor-credit/

He and his wife have also been sued on personal guaranties of around $2.5 million by other creditors of the company.


https://www.kcbd.com/2019/03/23/universal-underwriters-sue-bart-reagor-wife-more-than-million/

Culpable or not, this episode has exposed Bart as something other than the warm-and-fuzzy guy who can magically make "any car U want" appear before you.  If anyone were misled on that score.

https://www.lubbockonline.com/news/20181028/transcript-from-reagor-dykes-auto-group-staff-meeting

And I don't know who he's talking to here, but check this out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0w65vwwKbk

Maybe Tony Romo can lend him a few bucks.

Back

Man, terrible wifi in Europe, even in places where you would expect it to be good.  I didn't opt for an overseas phone plan during my stay, so wifi was it.

Which basically meant -- no Ticket.

Of course, Mrs. Plainsman would not have tolerated much Ticket listening on this voyage anyway.  The Musers would begin the broadcast day in mid-afternoon, prime depressing-ancient-cathedral and dreary-small-towns viewing time, and heading into the less-flavorful-foods-than-one-might-expect dinner hour.

Doesn't look like much of interest went on during my absence, judging from the comments.

Except, of course, the new Summer Bash song.  Doesn't ring a bell with me -- what is it?

Anything else?

Thanks for not blowing up the site during my absence.

To celebrate, I offer you a notable redhead from the past:

Spelling Bee Woes -- and MTC Note

This morning, the Musers were talking about the ridiculous conclusion to the Scripps National Spelling Bee, where they ran out of words with eight contestants remaining.

I can help them out a bit with their puzzlement over that.

This threatens to reveal my closely-guarded identity -- well, not that closely-guarded, since I introduced myself by name around the Siroises "The Meg" party with my genuwine megalodon tooth and Mike tweeted out my summer-suited image -- but I am a frequent and sought-after pronouncer at various spelling bees in the Collin County school districts and county bees.

The "pronouncer" is the person who  .  .  .  pronounces the words for the kids to spell.  I would prefer "Word King" or "Spellmeister," but no, it's "pronouncer."  I am permitted to, on the speller's request following my initial pronunciation:

     --  repeat it a reasonable number of times.
  
     --  give the language/country of origin.

     --   use it in a sentence.

    --    identify the part of speech (noun, adjective, etc.).

    --    give any alternative pronunciations.

Last year, both the first and second place finishers in the Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C., were winners in bees I pronounced.  These are the two charmers (from the 2018 Collin County Spelling Bee, where they placed 1-2; the young lady placed first in a different bee I pronounced):

 There are three factors causing bees to run out of words:

(1)  These bees have increased in popularity and prestige, and parents and ambitious students are taking them more seriously.  So the kids study their not-yet-overfed asses off.  When I began pronouncing bees around 15 years ago, it was the usual mix of kids.  For awhile, the Chinese and other Far East Asian kids were dominant.  Now, as can be perceived from the eight finalists, and to which I can attest from personal experience, it is the distinguished descendants of the Indian Subcontinent who have lapped the field.  (Rishik Gandhasri; Erin Howard; Saketh Sundar; Shruthika Padhy, Sohum Sukhatankar (Texas); Abhijay Kodali (Texas); Christopher Serrao; Rohan Raja (Texas).

No racism here -- they're wonderful kids and the parents have been very gracious to your pronouncer (yeah, there's the occasional asshole mom or dad who see some kind of institutional error in every misspelling their kid issues, and I guarantee you that trait is transracial).  Every time I do one of these bees I think that the world will probably end up in pretty good hands if these are the smarties who are going to run things.

These families, and these kids, take education very, very seriously.

(2)  At least in the lower rounds, at the individual school level, and, I have been told, the district and county levels, the kids are given lists of words that include the words used in the bees.  I don't know what they do at the regional and national level.  I have objected to this, but that's the way they do it. And what it means is that these school/district/county bees go on forEVer.  I've been on my feet for 4.5 hours trying to eliminate 35-40 kids.  This is a ridiculous practice having nothing to do with spelling talent, and should be discontinued.

(3)  Poor planning by the Scripps people and the local bees that use the Scripps lists and rules.  Several years ago I began alerting bee organizers for bees I was pronouncing that they did not have enough words, and I insisted that they have multiple alternate word lists (usually from prior years) ready to go.  We needed them on more than one occasion.  No bee I ever pronounced ever ran out of words, but last year, the North Texas Regional Bee (sponsored by the Morning News) did run out of words.  Fortunately, there were only two kids left to be co-champions.

Anyway, there's more than you want to know about spelling bees.  They're fun, the kids are inspirational, and Your Plainsman developed some notable quizmaster chops to keep kids and parents in line.  But they can be grueling.

Can you use me in a sentence, Pronouncer Man?

NOTE:

Your Plainsman will be out of the country the next two weeks.  I hope to find internet access where I'm going, but in the meantime, please keep things both interesting and civil.  Thanks.

You Might Find This Interesting

Last week, Gordon did a story in Muse in the News about the eleven new indictments in Dallas and Collin Counties for first-degree murder against Kipkorir "Billy" Chemirmir.  He is accused of either forcing or tricking his way into the homes or apartments of older women, smothering them with a pillow, then stealing their jewelry.

This morning, David and Justin also did a segment on the story.

He was caught when police, who had suspicions about him for reasons I've forgotten, saw him throw something into a dumpster.  They retrieved it.  It was a jewelry box containing the name and address of a woman.  They went to her home and found his first known victim.  His indictment for her murder was the first one, and the only one until last week's indictments in the two counties.

Local and national -- worldwide -- coverage has been intense, perhaps partly in anticipation of what might be coming.  Authorities in Dallas and Collin Counties are examining the records in hundreds of unattended unexpected deaths of elderly women to determine whether they can establish a link to Chemirmir.

It is possible he will turn out to be one of the most monstrous serial killers in U.S. history.

The indictments last week included attempted murder charges in both counties.  Prior to those indictments, two attempted murder charges were filed at the same time the first murder charge was filed.  One survivor was a Plano woman who was left unconscious on her bed.

The other was a Frisco woman who was conscious during the entire attack.  Chemirmir claimed to be a maintenance worker, but when she said she didn't need any and tried to shut the door, he forced his way in.  As one story reported, "The victim told police she was smothered with a pillow and began praying because she thought she was going to die."

That woman is my mother.

*     *     *

Although she did not escape dying by much, she was not seriously injured.   She is a very small woman and far from hearty, but only suffered bruises and scrapes from the attack.  "Only" is the wrong word to use, because her life will never be the same.

But she's a tough bird, for all that.  She has since joked that she is waiting for a call from the perpetually craggy Keith Morrison of "Dateline" requesting an interview.

Which she would grant with alacrity.

You know, it's possible.

Thanks to you all in advance for your concern and good wishes.

Campound Talk

Sorry, Confessors, I'm buried for the next week.  Give us your observations on this year's Campound.

According to this morning's Musers it got off to a rousing start last night.

Hoping to catch Coast-to-Coast and some of George's overnight trucker show, followed by his sleepless broadcasting on the formal Muser showgram tomorrow morning.

But what I really want are your reports.  And please, let's not turn this into a referendum on Corby's mic-hogging.  He's a mic-hog.  We know that.  Some like his broadcasting, some don't.  I general, I do, while recognizing his excesses.   Others, don't.

Actually .  .  .  go ahead.  If his mic-hogging is a Campound-destroying element for you, tell us why.  If you like Corby, ditto.

Just keep it civil and no intra-Confessor ad hominem remarks, please.

A Sports-Talk Pioneer Passes from the Scene -- Chet Coppock, RIP

This will not mean much to most of you, unless you're really, really tied in to the history of sports-talk radio in the United States of America.

It has lost a great one.

Without Chet Coppock, there would be no MTC.

I won't say there wouldn't have been a Ticket, or a WFAN in New York, or a Score in Chicago.

Wikipedia:

"In 1984, while working as sports director at WMAQ radio, Coppock approached the station about creating an in-depth, interview-driven radio sports talk show. The move led to the creation of Coppock on Sports, a show in which Coppock spoke with athletes, coaches, GMs and media members in a longer, un-cut magazine format. The show's success spawned numerous imitators."

That's 1984.  Not 25 years ago.  That's 35 years ago.  And yes, numerous imitators popped up.  Was The Ticket one of them?  I can't claim that.  But his show was an evening-radio-ratings-Death-Valley sensation. Someone must have taken notice.

After that, he moved his show to WLUP in Chicago, where I and my band Lower Wacker Overdrive were a fixture doing parodies for the Jonathon Brandmeier show during morning drive.

Chet was a glad-hander, a grab-asser (probably got him dismissed from his 10 PM News sports anchor job on NBC's WMAQ), a name-dropper, a quintessential Chris-Chris.  He had a high-energy delivery, sometimes saying things that would make you shake your head:  About a particular sports accomplishment:  "If that's not a record, it oughtta be."  Have you thought about it?  He was brilliantly and hilariously parodied weekly by Bruce Wolf on the Brandmeier show as "Chet Chit-Chat."  (Elements of Chicago sports guy Chuck Swirsky in that parody as well.)

He was very tall, blond, full of BS, but I tuned in every night to listen to him and Dangerous Dan McNeil (still on Chicago sports radio to date, had a stint at ESPN) run down hot sports opinions, get amazing interviews, plug restaurants where he probably got comped, and generally amuse the population.  Think of a Howard Cosell who would have been accepted at a WASP fraternity.   He was relentlessly outgoing and cheerful.  Never saw the man without a smile on his face.

He would come into the East Bank Club where I was a member (cue Vivaldi), schmoozing with the movers and shakers and chatting up the amazing skirts that would hang out there.

And in those days when I was trying to think of how I could make money without working, I put down on my list:  all sports-talk radio station.  Did I ever do anything about it?  No.

But he kindled my interest in radio (alongside Johnny B).  He never founded an all-sports station, but he was a pioneer.

He was killed as a passenger in an automobile accident a few days ago.  He was 70.

I would hope that Mike R would have heard of him, and might pay tribute.

But if no one at The Ticket has heard of him, or noted his passing, I wanted to make sure that I did so.  If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have discovered an interest in sports-talk radio -- as you may have discerned, my knowledge about actual sports is pretty sketchy -- as the most entertaining thing on the AM and FM dials.

He would say to callers: "Your dime, your dance floor."   Chet Coppock, RIP.

 

theplainsman1310@gmail.com

@plainsman1310

Top Fake Laughs on The Ticket

[Not the STD.]

This is a bit of a misnomer, because not all of the laughs mentioned here are fake.  In composing this list, I tried to think of what various host's laughs sounded like, and I couldn't come up with some of them.  They may be secret chortlers, larfing under their breaths when bemusement overtakes them.  I ended up with a very short list.  From worst to first, and I will welcome corrections and nominations from the Confessor who may pay better attention than I do:

(4)  Corby Davidsion.  With the departure of T.C. Fleming, he will be at the bottom of any list, no matter how many other hosts or JV are included.  His shrieking, choking, breathless yowl at even the slightest funny leaves listeners bewildered at his comedy standards.

(3) Craig Miller.  This one isn't entirely fair.  Sometimes, Craig is left as the only voice left in the studio to support Gordon's bits where George is also an actor.  I have written in the past at the artfulness of his intelineated laughter to keep the bit going, which is why he is, among other reasons, the Fred Astaire of The Ticket.  Also, Craig tends to be somewhat on the acidic and judgmental side, so it is hard to imagine him laughing voluntarily at lame stuff.  He does it anyway, and he does it quite well, but not as well as:

(2) George Dunham.  His laughter is less prominent than Craig's, but because he's skeptical of much of Gordon's humor to begin with, when it appears it is warmer and more sincere.

(1) Donovan Lewis.  The hand's-down champ.   His guffawing always sounds genuine.  Makes me want to laugh along with him.

Honorable Mention:  Julie Dobbs.

The discerning Confessor will notice an absence of candidates from BaD Radio, except HM for Julie.  No particular reason for that.  In fact, I'm listening to more BaD than I have in many years.  It's just that when I think of their show and try to remember what a Bob/Dan/Jake's giggle sounds like, I draw a blank.

Well  .  .  . no, no, I think I'm wrong about that.  I'm having an aural memory of Dan sometimes cutting loose with what sounds like spontaneous hilarity.   I think I might rank him in pretty close to a tie with George, high on the sincerity scale.

Let's not turn this into a Corby Sux thread, OK?

OMAHGERD!  This site's been around almost ten years?  I can't believe no one ever told me about it!  It's the best and full of merry japes and jests!