GRUBES UNLEASHED

Well, that didn't take long.

Folks, if you want to talk Ticket, there is only one destination for you.  You're there now.

Michael Gruber was an early adopter of My Ticket Confession.  He was the first ever commentor on this site, and from time to time he would drop us a line with information or answers to questions. Nothing too inside or proprietary, just stuff that listeners might want to know.

Turns out, he had a few other things on his mind.

If you follow this site closely, you may already have seen what follows. Michael penned some comments to the last post expanding on his decision to move on -- but he also took the opportunity to unburden himself of some observations on station operation and treatment of the JV. 

Every once in awhile someone will say something on the air that will give us a glimpse of what goes on behind the scenes.  We make educated guesses based on the very rare drawing back of the curtain.  Speaking only for myself, I delight in overinterpreting and jumping to conclusions based on the occasional odd inflection and unexpected pause.  Keeps the site interesting, even when I'm wrong.

I daresay we have never heard anything like some of Michael's observations from anyone who worked there, although hints of some of what follows will sometimes leak onto the airwaves. 

They don't require any further comment from me.  They speak eloquently for themselves.

I should add that I sought and received Michael's permission to rerun his thoughts as a featured post.   I have edited them very slightly for length.  His comments (and the comments to which they respond) appear in full in the previous post, if you want to check them out in context.

Michael first expands on his decision to leave The Ticket:

"In an ideal world, of course I'd rather stay at the Ticket and play drops until my hands fell off. But despite the awesomeness of the job, it's not a career no matter how hard I tried to make it one. And being a career board-op without a degree just doesn't lead to many opportunities to move up, or even expand current responsibilities. I was stuck, basically.

.  .  .  .

"June 3 would have been my tenth anniversary with the station. In that time I have gotten to do so many fun things and meet so many awesome people, I could probably write a book. I'm fully aware that the majority of that goes away in a few months once the aftershocks of my departure totally end. If no one knows who the hell the I am after that, I'll manage to survive. I've gotten more than I could ever dream out of the "local celebrity" lifestyle.

".  .  .  .  I plan on going for a business degree, but that may change. Regardless, I know that I want to LEARN and try to better myself. Especially the last few years, my focus on life has become way too narrow. All I worried about was the Ticket, baseball, Pepper Theft, and hanging out (drinking) with friends. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think I can be more than that. Seeing all the things my parents have done is intimidating at times, but it's a great blueprint for how I want to live the rest of my life. If I can achieve even a small percentage of what they've accomplished, I'd be damn proud. There's more to life than the Ticket, and I want to experience as much of that part as possible now that I'm moving on. I'm 26, so I hopefully have another 75ish years to live. The Ticket will have taken up a tenth of that time, but what a wonderful time it was.

"And I'll say it again...the decision to leave the Ticket and go back to college was mine, and mine alone. Maybe I'll regret it, but I doubt it. I'd hit the glass ceiling at the Ticket, and I have just enough inner drive to not be happy with the status quo.

"Hopefully that explains my decision a little better. I'm not bitter in any way, though I am disappointed with the way some things were, especially the disaster that was/is the move to Victory. But in the grand scheme of things, it's just a blip on the radar. My experience at the Ticket was the best time of my life, and hopefully I made some small dent in the history of it."

In response to a commenter making the intriguing suggestion that Michael purchase The Ticket, Grubes starts to warm up, echoing some thoughts expressed frequently on this site:

"I would love so much to buy the station and let everybody earn the money they deserve while working with the best equipment available. It's a shame such an amazing and unique station is run with a cookie cutter, anti-spending, "make the quarter/month's budget" mentality by those geniuses in Atlanta. I'm convinced the station could be even more successful if treated properly. But, alas..."


In response to the suggestion that perhaps the clumsy move to Victory played a role in his decision to leave, he writes:

"I will allow that the move probably helped "push" me a little bit...But only in terms of leaving in time for the summer semester rather than the fall semester. Like I said, my leaving was inevitable. The timetable just got pushed up by a few months. :)"

As far as his own potential at The Little One was concerned, he mused:

"I think a yuk monkey role would have been absolutely awesome if that opportunity arose, but realistically I don't feel I speak well enough to do that or am clever enough to do the kind of bits yuk moneys do. I feel like I become decent at throwing in a one liner from time to time, but I tended to stammer and stumble over words beyond that.

"I considered seeking producer roles when they came up, but I just couldn't reconcile leaving the board for a minimal pay raise and a supposedly better role. If I was going to be part of a show, the best role for me by far was board-op. Playing drops for BaD Radio and the Hardline was perfect for my skill set, mentality, sense of humor, etc.

"That's why the idea of management tended to float around in my head. As a P1, I know how I'd like things to be, and I feel like I got along with everybody in all departments well enough that I could be pretty good at that.

"But in the end, I'd pretty much maxed out what I could really do at the station without a degree. Hurts to leave, and I shed many a tear in the weeks leading up to my departure, but I'm excited to see what the future holds...Even if I'm not famous anymore! Haha."

Did you catch that "the idea of management tended to float around in my head"?

Well, look out, management.  A floating thing sunk the Titanic:

"Really, if I had my way, I would just let the shows police themselves. I know that's an awful way to go about being program director of a station, but seriously...The "newest" show on the station is Norm and he's been doing it since 2000. Every show has been #1 basically for as long as I can remember.

"It's silly to micromanage how many freaking times Norm does a Twitter segment in a week, or when a certain bit like porn birthdays is "played out". There's enough internet savvy P1's to let us...er, them, know when a bit is played out.

"The other way to know something is played out? When the guys on the show stop laughing at it. Working at the Ticket really sharpens your view on how funny things are because there's such an insane number of funny and creative people working during the week and on weekends. Most guys have a pretty good barometer on when to cut bait on a bit. No need to intervene.

"So while there technically wouldn't be a whole lot I'd do on the programming side other than leave the shows alone, I would spend more of my time on trying to make the work environment as positive as possible. Everyone should be treated like they matter...just because you're a board-op or intern doesn't mean you're less of a human or matter less to the station. Unfortunately, there tends to be such a classification of people by their jobs that it can wear on the self esteem for those that aren't in a more prominent position. It's tough as hell to move up at the station because jobs hardly ever come open. People do what they can to stick around as long as possible, so why treat them poorly in addition to that?

"The Ticket is a fast-paced station. Everything is live, and no matter how well something is (or isn't) planned, nothing is guaranteed to go perfectly. Whoever makes a mistake is going to feel bad already. What's wrong with just pulling someone aside and discussing what happened in an even tone? Knowing that a rip session is on the way makes you even more likely to make a mistake and that much slower on the trigger. Just human nature. I'd rather someone make a mistake in the name of entertainment than hold back and create "bleh" radio. That can be found elsewhere.

"I know that's a very Utopian way of viewing things, but as someone who was lucky enough to go from outsider to insider and now back to outsider, I think my ideas would essentially maximize productivity and by extension, ratings."

And, he adds modestly:

"I think."

I think so, too.  My thanks to Michael for writing and for allowing me to re-post his thoughts.

*  *  *

Follow Your Plainsman on Twitter:  @Plainsman1310

Email Your Plainsman:  ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

Exactly . . . I Mean . . . This Is: Michael Gruber -- An Appreciation

I accept and incorporate in this post almost every comment that has been made on this site since Michael Gruber announced his retirement from The Ticket.  That includes those who deem him irreplaceable, and those who note that The Ticket will survive.  Those who praise his intelligence, those who will miss the jolliest sound in American media:  Grubes's merry chortle bleeding through into Danny's mic deep in the background of whatever hilarity is being committed at that particular moment.

I've been considering whether I have any distinctive observations to add to this outpouring of praise, good wishes, and regret.  I am frequently criticized, probably with justification, for overthinking The Little Ticket.  But as I've thought back over my eight years of listening, I've had some thoughts about Michael's contribution, a couple of which will resonate with what you've already offered.

(1)  The Ticket gives the impression of being a pretty rough and tumble place.  Everyone's in competition with everyone else.  True enough that often it is friendly competition, and frequently it's a bit -- things like remarking on BaD Radio's lust for Top Ten honors, Mike's jabs at the Musers, and Craig's jabs back.  But the men we hear on the air are all highly-motivated, the hosts are highly compensated, and the JV are elbowing for airtime and plum assignments, and hoping to avoid the wrath of some of the touchier talent.  Over the absolutely amazing run of programming stability on The Ticket, almost every name we would recognize -- weekday hosts, Tickermen, board ops, traffic chicks, producers, CTO -- each of them has had some kind of run-in somewhere along the line, having rubbed someone or other the wrong way.

In the middle of it all -- no, above it all -- stands Grubes. 

The Nicest Man on The Ticket. 

His drops can be savage, lacerating, hilarious, teasing, but I never, ever felt that they were hostile.  I never felt like Michael was a part of the Ticket demimonde that was struggling to get ahead.  Maybe it was because, as we all know, he is an offspring of prosperity, and, for that reason (and because he's so damned smart), I never thought he'd hang around The Ticket or radio production too far into his twenties, although he (sincerely, I think) has said many times that he loved that greatest job in the world.  So he never felt the need to put anyone else down.  His on-air remarks were usually brief, never unwelcome, and almost always self-effacing.  Quite aside from his technical brilliance, his personality added a note of grace to any show he was a part of.

(2)  Almost alone among DFW radio stations -- hell, radio stations anywhere -- The Ticket has had an astonishingly stable history, stretching now to almost two decades.  It's a rich history, but for those millions of us who were not Day One listeners, we would not know that history if it weren't for Grubes.  Not only with drops, but with his sampling from the vault at the close of each episode of The Hardline, those of us who have come lately to the station, and who can't listen to every show every day, he ties the present to the past.

He is a major reason that the P1 feels like a community of friends who not only share the pleasures of that day's broadcasting, but who are a part of something much richer and more personal, a family of sorts.  A dysfunctional family at times, but one where all the actors are bound together with that firmest of cements, humor.

(3) This is the one that's been most on my mind.

We all know that Grubes is the Ticket's Professor Emeritus of Dropology.  We all know about his encyclopedic memory, his astoundingly associative intelligence, his jaw-dropping speed, and his comedic timing. 

But he's done a lot more for The Ticket, and for the P1, than make us laugh.  Hell, listening to some of Grubes's Greatest Hits on The Hardline, I sat in the Conestoga in a parking lot with tears running down my face at some of his brilliantly timed bulls'-eye inserts.  And yet, I think his influence is much more profound than just a series of yuks, gratifying though they may be.

Consider one of his most unusual series of drops.

We've all heard the Corby brag-drops.  "I went to TCU  .  .  .  ," "I have HD," and the rest.

But sometime in the past couple of years, we started hearing some Corby drops that, if you heard them in normal conversation, wouldn't sound like Corbyesque bragging at all.  I don't know that I can quote any of them, but they can be something as simple as (and I'm making these up) "I bought some new jeans yesterday," or "I had dinner last night."  They're momentarily baffling, but they always bring a laugh to the show and to listeners (at least this listener). 

Why is this? 

I think these drops, and our reaction to them, reveal the true importance of Michael Gruber's contribution to The Ticket:

Michael's use of drops has had a significant role in defining the on-air character of the hosts themselves.   By constantly repeating memorable moments, and by highlighting remarks that may not have seemed notable at the time, he shapes our perceptions of all these talented talkers, permanently fixing in our minds the unique personality and quirks of each.   Not only is he constantly sketching them for the listeners, forming our perception of these guys, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that some of the hosts have been influenced by Grubes's portrayal of them through his artistry.

That's why we laugh at the non-brag brags.  Even though if you listen to the body of Corby's work he does not seem to be unduly afflicted with CJWilsonesque conceit, Michael's drops have defined Corby to the extent that these most innocuous of remarks seem freighted with self-regard.  To this extent, Grubes has enriched Corby's broadcast personality.  And he does the same with all of his willing victims, to the very great advantage of The Ticket.  To use a current trope, he has created brands for the men he works with, and when you're a station that depends for its popularity on the distinctive personality of its hosts and other on-air guys, that's immensely valuable.  And for us, immensely entertaining.

Too grandiose?  Your Plainsman overthinking The Ticket again?  Yeah, maybe.  It's fun to overthink The Ticket.  And it's an unalloyed pleasure to say nice things about Michael Gruber.

Ah, Grubes, we hardly knew ye.  But thanks to you, we know a lot of people we all care about a whole lot better.

My thanks, and best wishes from My Ticket Confession as you make your way in the world.

An Even MORE Modest Proposal for The Hardline -- PART 2: The More Modest Proposal Its Own Self

Don't think I don't understand the absurdity of a civilian -- a rather radio-naive civilian at that -- suggesting changes to one of the most popular radio shows in the United States. 

But it's no more absurd than some of the very entertaining things we hear on The Ticket every day.  Not that this is a gag -- I think all my ideas are excellent.  But if the only thing that happens is that you laugh and shake your head at Your Plainsman's chuckleheadedness, I'm perfectly OK with that.  And you'll let me know in the comments.  Respectfully, I am certain.

So here we go:

In Part 1, I recanted my earlier opinion that Mike R goes through phases of diminished interest in The Hardline.  I did not recant my view that from time to time, The Hardline as it emerges over the airways needs more Mike and less Corby, what I have for the last couple of years called balance.

I've been kicking around an idea about a  .  .  .  an  .  .  .  adjustment to The Hardline that not only would address this issue, but that isn't totally cockamamie, unworkable, and incredibly faster-than-the-speed-of-light impossible. 

Why loose it on an unwitting public at this time, while The Hardline continues to ride high?

        --  Continued communications from P1's expressing the view that Mike has lost interest.  Not really my opinion, but I do hear this.

        --  Continued communications from P1's, also reflected in comments to posts, lamenting the OverCorby.  I have some sympathy for this view, much as I admire Corby's performance overall.

        --  Remarks on The Musers a week or so ago that each of the Courage Boys has developed his own theory about Mike As He Has Been Lately, who, they speculate, seems to have developed a don't-give-a-damn attitude, say-anything attitude, suggesting a scorched-earth point of view towards The Little One.  (They were referring to his performance on "The Newlywed Game" at Ticketstock -- I'm don't think they were necessarily describing The Hardline presentation.)  I don't actually know what Mike-AHHBL behavior they were thinking of, but the fact that they commented in such detail on one of their semi-rival hosts at all was somewhat alarming -- although their attitude was bemused rather than alarmed.

        --  A comment from AP (as I recall -- I haven't gone back to check on the commenter), who reported a couple of remarks by Danny, who occasionally experiences tension between his role as producer and as on-air talent.

        --  Unanimously positive reactions to the March 1 presentation, where Corby was absent, Danny was more-or-less the co-host in grown-up mode, Jake did E-News, T.C. produced, and Robert ("Don't Call Me Bob") Wilonsky did Community Quick Hits.

With (i) this context, (ii) our wish to maintain host/host balance on the show, and (iii) my revised Theory of Mike all in mind, I offer the following modest proposal:

               (1)  Make Danny a full-time host.  Relieve him of his producer duties.  Give him a raise -- probably a big one -- and a contract.


               (2)  Include the following in Danny's job description, since it unlikely Corby would undertake any of them: 


                         (i)   Plan topics and segments that are more likely than not to engage Mike's interest (i.e., take charge of show prep, and, if he's already in charge of show prep, take charge of it better).


                         (ii)  On the air, make sure that Mike is heard, even in those instances where he is not particularly engaged.   This sounds patronizing towards Mike, but, as noted, Mike wanders and defers to Corby, and Corby allows it.  Danny has shown flashes of being genuinely concerned about the overall sonic presentation of the show.  Task him with bringing Mike into conversations where he's lapsed into silence for one reason or another.  In other words, give him some authority over the on-air presentation in real time.


                         (iii)  Police the OverCorby.  Now it is true that in the past Danny has sometimes allied with Corby, exacerbating the balance problem.  My hunch, however, that given express responsibility for keeping the showgram sounding professional, he would do it.


                         (iv)  I think this could be accomplished without diluting Danny's colorful and acerbic contribution.   It would only require that Danny put on the adult persona that he has when he's co-hosting with Mike in Corby's absence -- that's a Danny that the Nation finds quite easy to take.


               (3)  For Grubes's years of toil in the fever swamps, give him the opportunity to produce if he wants.  We would miss his amazing drops artistry, but surely the guy doesn't want to be a board op forever, even assuming he plans to hang with The Ticket for the foreseeable future.


               (4)  If Grubes doesn't want the producer job, assign it to Jake Kemp.   Find another up-and-comer to do Top Ten.  (Not T.C., in my view, but the Nation seems fond of him.  Maybe Casey Millen.)


               (5)  If Grubes does want the producer job, I don't know who should be on the board.  There must be lotsa guys who'd like that gig.


               (6)  Ty Wal-KAH?   Jeez, I'm sorry, I just don't see him moving from Tickers -- which, after all, is his natural habitat.  At least not on The Hardline, anyway.   Ty has some real broadcast skills as a behind-the-mic guy, but the Hardline doesn't needs another talker and I don't see him in the producer role -- could be wrong.  His role as lightning-fast Google guy and porn counselor is bringing him an increased role on the show when Danny's drop isn't yelling at him, so he's doing OK.


Danny, Corby, Mike, and a slice of Junior



Consider the advantages (or, in some cases, the non-disadvantages) of this plan: 

          --  It addresses the need for more Mike and a more moderate contribution from Corby.

          --  It requires no new hires or even moving anyone from one show to another (other than Jake and maybe a board op).

          --  Showgram chemistry is altered only very slightly.

          --  It keeps a major talent (Danny) around and lets him concentrate his skills and energy on show presentation.

          --  Unlike other Hardline-related suggestions, it does not involve any kind of formal or even apparent demotion of Corby.  It does not suggest that Corby is "only" a yuk-monkey. 

          --  It barely requires any changes at all within the presentation itself.  Just more Danny, which is a good thing overall, and more authority for Danny to guide the show.  In fact, it may not mean much more Danny at all -- it only requires that his contribution be aimed at getting/keeping Mike involved in the broadcast. 

          --  It keeps/rewards Grubes and opens up a spot for some new Ticket talent (i.e., Jake/Casey or a hotshot board op).

Well  .  .  .  there it is.

It really only has one significant feature -- noodging Danny towards more responsibility and authority.  If he's interested, it works.  If he thinks it's BS, it doesn't.  (Of course, we're all thinking -- this is impossible, so whether it's BS or not is kind of beside the point.)  I may be wrong in sensing in Danny a mature professional waiting to come into his own, but I have found myself hearing a faint regret in the direction the show takes from time to time, even as he participates in it.  He has the presence and the skill to give the showgram a nudge back on track when it threatens to stray.  And maintain his Danny persona in the process.

OK, this has gone on long enough.   The Nation is entirely free to comment on any feature or all of them, but I would request that you not overemphasize the incidental features (Grubes/Jake/Casey/Ty), which are really not important to the overall scheme -- included just to keep things tidy.  

Your turn.