Are Mino and Monty the New Musers?

A Mortifyingly Tardy Congratulations to The Ticket and Each and Every Muser

See first comment below.

Duelling Insiders

I like it when Confessors have inside information and share it with us.  Or claim to have it.  Truth to tell, persons claiming special knowledge in this space do not have a great record.  Many years ago I heard from a Ticket person who said that he got his laugh for the day every time he would see in social media someone claiming to have inside information.  But I'd love to have a reliable pipeline, even if anonymous.

In the last thread, we had one confessor saying that Bob Sturm was going to move to The Hardline.

More recently, another said that a Muser, tired of the early mornings, was going to move to PM Drive.

Either would be fine with me.  Even if Jake ended up being a Muser, I'd absolutely listen to an AM show with a George/Jake/Gordon lineup.  I think the sparks would soon fly between Jake and Gordon -- Gordon isn't always  .  .  .  welcoming to other funny people on the show, and Jake has done some fantastic bits filling in when Gordon's gone.  But that would be a good Muser lineup for me.  And would love to hear Craig on PM drive, when I can hear a bigger chunk of the show most days.

Ditto with a Jake and Dan show.

But I think those scenarios are not likely.  One show was blown up by Mike's departure.  I do not see the CTO blowing up another historically successful show.

Unless  .  .  .  contract time is coming up for the likes of Craig, and he has the leverage of his own retirement.  But wait -- didn't the Musers all just re-up a month or so back?

So my money is on Jake to The Hardline.  Transforms a stale show with a jolt of energy that "the kids" who, we hear, are deserting The Ticket, find lacking in the aging hosts.

The real controversy Cat will have to deal with is:  Who will replace Jake as BaD producer?  My money would be on either Justin Montemayor or David Mino.  I'm a fan of Justin's "radio sound" and attitude, but David has sharpened up his act on Work in Progress.  There are some other JV guys, Ticker and board op guys, who will probably toss their chapeaux in the ring.

Good luck to all.  The Ticket is in for a wild social media ride.  Stay tuned to My Ticket Confession, Your Source for Quality Ticket Journalism.

No disrespect:  Kobe Bryant, RIP.

My Ticket-Related Criterion for the Next Cowboys Head Coach

He has to be someone that Gordon or George, or hey, maybe even Craig, can mimic.  I'm sure we'll continue to have visits from Garrett and Wade, but we need someone helming the Cowboys who possesses a distinctive timbre or manner of speaking or pet phrases. 

Whatever we may think of Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett, they blessed the P1 with a decade-and-a-half of comedy gold at the hands of Gordon and George.

*     *     *

Parting Garrett shot:  Everyone is careful to say what a nice guy he was before they dump on him.  Some are even saying that they now feel sorry for him for having coached under Jerry's stifling conditions. 

I'm not sure about that.  I'd feel a lot better about him if I ever heard him take any responsibility for poor game management, spotty preparation, failure to hold players to account, and all manner of other managerial weaknesses. 

As passive as the guy seems, my take is that he has an absolutely massive ego that demanded fealty to his primitive "processes" -- whatever they were -- despite the growing evidence that they were putting the Cowboys a decade behind the rest of the league.   Stubbornness can be a virtue, until it ossifies into not knowing what else to do.

Ahh, whaddya expect from a Princeton guy?

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Wishing all Confessors a happy and safe New Year.  Thanks for coming along for the MTC ride in 2019.

                                                                                       -- Plainsman

A Few More Quick Hits

(1)  This is not the STD I have planned.

(2)  The Ticket must not be selling out its ad space on the stream.  Getting lots and lots of that cheesy synth filler where, presumably, there should be commercials.

(3)  For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why anyone would call a business "Mr. Store."  Improved automotive audio reveals that if you have fire/water damage, the entity to call is "Mr. Restore."

(4)  Does Jake seem a little cranky lately?  Must not be getting sufficient sleep with the new little one.

(5)  I get an icky feeling when advertisers try to make you think that they're big P1s, or include other Ticket references, like the commercial referencing "Norm The-Mozart-of-E-Brakes Hitzges"  At least, unlike George and one or two others at the station, they pronounced his name correctly.

(6) Musers showgram had an odd sound today without Becca or Sean.  I didn't hear why they were absent.

(7) I'd be interested in a study on the percentage over time of the Ticket broadcast day dedicated to sex/gender-related matters.   Speaking of icky-feeling listening.

Thank you for your patience.

Change is Good

As we approach the 25th Anniversary of The Ticket and this year's TicketStock, I've been thinking of what I should put in this space to commemorate it.

I couldn't think of anything.

I don't have a lot of interest in Top Ticket Moments for some reason, astounding and entertaining as many of them have been.

I've been listening to The Ticket since 2004, the year I arrived in Dallas -- 15 years.  The singular fact about The Ticket during that period -- and before -- is that it hasn't changed much.  With a few changes, some of which occurred very early on, it's been the same hosts in the same time period for all those years.  Amazing, and certainly a reason for its continued success.

But The Ticket has changed, sometimes in subtle, gradual ways.  I was hoping to come up with three, but I've settled on two:

(1)  The Ascendance of The Musers and Craig "Junior" Miller.   The shows have never been ranked, but in my early years of listening I would have said, if asked, that The Hardline was the quintessential Ticket show and certainly the one most closely identified with the station.

I think that has changed not because The Hardline has declined -- I don't think it has, contrary to the views of some Confessors -- but because The Musers have continued to grow and improve.  "The Musers" is now the most prominent and celebrated show on the station and I would say that even if the ratings didn't bear me out.

And I think the rise of The Musers is because of the rise of Junior Miller, the Fred Astaire of The Ticket.  When I began listening, George Dunham was "The Commander."  You don't hear that much any more.  Instead, Craig Miller is the Judge and Lord High Executioner for station controversies, and the creator of "tiers" to rank the relative prominence of persons appearing on the station.  He is the most prominent host on The Ticket, eclipsing Mike Rhyner and even his podnuh George Dunham.

(George -- love the guy, but there came a period some years back where his interest level clearly waned.  I don't know if it was because he was building a house or building a band, but there were some segments where he simply wasn't ready to broadcast, and you could hear Junior's irritation.  Not really a knock on George -- he's still great -- but not the station leader he once appeared to be.  (And his occasional unpreparedness seems to have abated in recent years.))

(2)  The Growing Prominence and Quality of the Junior Varsity.  I credit Jeff Catlin for hiring and showcasing down-tier talent.  Yes, there have been some flameouts, some misses, some jerks, and some who just flat failed to launch, but by and large the non-daily-host on-air people are very good and getting better and better.  There's not enough room in the broadcast day to give some of them the prominence they deserve.  Too bad you can't sell enough advertising off hours to give some of these guys (and Julie) their own shows other than on weekends.  (Or can you -- while leveraging the broadcast day on the Ticket Top Ten is genius, could you do better with a live Work-in-Progress from 7-10 nightly?) 

I hesitate to name names for fear of leaving out some top-quality folks, but in no particular order, there's Justin Montemayor, Mike Sirois (honorable mention -- Cash), Jake Kemp, Sean Bass, Ty Walker, Julie Dobbs, David Mino.   (I don't count Danny Balis as JV, but he's kind of equivalent to Jake on BaD, so you could list him here too.)  Dave Lane as a cameo JV.    Hey, I'm sure I'm leaving out some real good up-and-comers, so help me out here in the comments.

(3)  The Hardline?  I said I was going to do two, but of course the show with the most wrenching change during my listening history has been The Hardline, with the separation of Greg "The Hammer" Williams a decade or so back.  Of course that's a "change," but here I'm going to offer a view which I know will be at odds with those of some long-time listeners:  I think The Hardline is in some ways a better show now than it was when HeeHoo was on it.

Yes, it is true that Mike's interest has declined and he doesn't pay a whole lot of attention sometimes.

Yes, it is true that Mike allows Corby and Danny to browbeat him when he should be putting them firmly in their respective places.

Yes, it is true that Corby is a mic hog.

Yes, it is true that the lack of show prep can verge on disrespect of the P1.

But for all that, I listen.  And I laugh more at The Hardline than at any of the other shows.  I've said it before:  Corby Davidson is the Howard Cosell of The Ticket -- he'll irritate the living bejeebers out of you, but still you tune in and (usually) don't tune out.  And I and other Confessors have observed how good he can be when he's away from the nurturing biosphere of the who-cares Hardline.

I was tired of Hammer's ignorant redneck act before he got the heave-ho, and his various issues were plainly affecting his broadcasting long before he crashed and burned.   I'll punch out on Corby and Danny from time to time (Mike isn't present or flavorful enough to excite the punch-out finger much anymore, although he's still a mesmerizing broadcaster when he's engaged -- that is, when he's got a subject that really interests him, or with a co-host who engages him), but for me, The Hardline is great entertainment and better than it was 15 years ago.

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I'm not going to make TicketStock this year, so send your photos of TicketChicks and other watchables to:

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

*     *     *

How has The Ticket changed for you?

Thanks for the Review of "Bird Box," Musers

Now I don't have to watch it.

There Is Nothing Like the Ticket

Or maybe there's nobody like Gordon Keith.

Or maybe there's nobody like Jason "Killer" Kellison.

But as I was marveling this morning at yet another one of Killer's Gordon-penned oral essays, this one on Christmas, the thought that came to me was that as brilliant as Gordon can be -- is -- and as perfect a foil as Killer has sacrificed his dignity and self-esteem to become, what's unreproduceable these bits is the combination of the two of them, and Junior's appreciative laughing-but-not-overlaughing, and Jeff Catlin keeping his hand lightly enough on the tiller to allow this kind of satire on some things that some listeners unquestionably believe are beyond kidding.

Gordon couldn't perform that essay himself.  It would never work.  The words wouldn't be funny coming out of his smart mouth.  Jer -- no.  Craig, George -- no.  Fernando -- certainly not.  Killer -- he ain't dumb, but his history of eager but not-entirely-smooth forays onto the air makes him the perfect interpreter of these bits, which I almost always find hilarious.  Of course, nobody thinks Killer is dumb.  I sure don't; Ticket management certainly doesn't.  But in Killer, Gordon has found the perfect actor, and it's impossible to imagine any other program on The Ticket or the Fan or ESPN where that bit could even have been offered. 

Which is why, among many other reasons, The Ticket is essential.  It is the only home for certain kinds of programming, the for the peculiar genius that bubbles up out of the chemistry between this once-in-a-lifetime -- or maybe once-in-a-generation -- set of humans.

Ken Berry, RIP.

I Give My Leader the Benefit of the Doubt + Bonus STD on Drops

And that leader, you may recall, is Jeff Catlin, Program Director of KTCK (The Ticket) and Operations Manager for it, KESN, KLIF, KPLX, KLIF FM, WBAP, and KSCS (that is, Cumulus Dallas).

I think he is a pretty smart chap and has made some pretty smart decisions about The Ticket.

So I can only assume he has some reason -- a market study, perhaps; micro-ratings analysis; maybe getting a feel from his email; could even be sponsor feedback -- for countenancing what seems -- isn't, but seems -- to be nonstop talk on a number of the shows about cable/Amazon/Netflix dramatic presentations.

A day or so ago, it was The Musers with "The Push."  Today, I look forward to one of my rare tune-ins to BaD, and I hear Bob say that they were not able to properly finish their discussion of "The Push" in the prior segment(s?), and so they were going to trash the sports talk they had planned on the run sheet so they could talk about it some more.  Then, on The Hardline, E-news is all about that subject, then, following a single segment about Cowboys stuff (Dez Bryant absolutely, 100%, take it to the bank, absolutely no way, will renegotiate his deal), Corby announced they were going to discuss another Netflix show in the next segment.

Maybe the Confessor is interested in these things and the New World Catman has made another wise choice.  Maybe lots of P1's watch them and enjoy our lads' extensive and frequent discussion about these shows.  And the discussion itself -- hey, for all I know they may be television analysts of the most sublime perspicacity.  But, speaking here only for myself, I'm interested in none of it, and, to the extent I am, I am certainly not interested in the cascade of spoilers these guys sling.  I heard Corby say that viewership for these shows is plummeting and he once again assured listeners with absolute certainty that in 5 years there would be no Netflix, no Showtime, no HBO, so one wonders why a disproportionate slab of showgram time up and down the broadcast day is devoted to these presentations.

Now -- I invoke Jeff here, but in fact, I don't think he has much to do with the programming of individual segments on these shows.  He's not telling them to devote segments to TV/cable/internet dramatic programming.  His role, if there is one, is pretty much a negative one -- stop doing this, don't do that, clean up your tweets, throw some cold water on the social commentary.

Anyway, that's my STD (Scorching Ticket Disquisition) for the day.

"Corby said this show was the greatest in the history of human communication."

*     *     *

Wait, there's more.

What's this about The Ticket being ordered to -- erase? archive? stop using? -- certain, or a certain number of, or a certain volume of, drops?  Heard it mentioned a couple of times this afternoon, most notably by Mike R observing that a station like The Ticket, which basically carries some of Cumulus's less popular offerings, should be forced to cut back on drops for any reason.

I didn't get the impression that this was a programming move -- Jeff saying, per my suggestion above, "use a lot fewer drops."  Don't think that's what's happened, although could be in error about that.  I believe that for some reason, a large batch of Ticket drops are no longer available for use; D Mino suggested to that effect.   Mike, and I think Corby, both suggested that this was some kind of an economic move.  But how is that possible?  Digital storage costs approximately nothing (or am I wrong here, guys?).   Someone out there knows more about this.  Please advise in the comments, or drop me a line.

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

BREAKING: Ticket Ratings Rule, with Particular Attention to The Hardline

Some Confessors seem to think The Hardline is sinking in the ratings, running behind the competition, or otherwise not doing well. 

This is not correct.

I recently heard from a Dallas media source who I believe to be reliable.  S/he was concerned about passing along this information as even the immortal Barry Horn seems to be forbidden from publicizing it, so I'm going to withhold some details to avoid any problems with the ratings people.

However, at extreme personal risk, I can report generally on the numbers representing an average of the last four monthly books (as of the time I received this information, which was a few weeks back now):

--   All Ticket shows are #1 in their time slots in the target demographic (men 25-54).

--   The Musers are the top-rated Ticket show, ratings in the low double-digits.

--   The Hardline is a very close second to the Musers, only a point behind The Musers and also in the low double-digits.

--   Hardline ratings have risen steadily over the past "many" months (source was not more specific).

--   BaD and Invasion ratings are about equal, and only a point behind the Hardline.

So:  Ticket continues to dominate.  Hardline doing extremely well and improving.  Musers still tops.  Middays also extremely strong, only two points behind the galaxy-class Muser ratings.

None of this means you have to like The Hardline or any of the other shows.  But running down its ratings just because you want to see (for example) Corby get some kind of comeuppance is wishful thinking. 

If one believes these numbers, and I do, one can only conclude that The Ticket continues huge throughout the weekday daylight broadcast hours.  This suggests that the CTO has zero incentive to impose the slightest tinkering on any of those shows.

*     *     *

I will say this:  While I do defend Corby and The Hardline in these pages, I am in agreement with many Confessors on much of the criticism leveled at The Hardline.   Weak show preparation, dumb political talk, shaky sports talk, Mike's very inconsistent interest in the show (it seems to be on the rise lately), Corby's mic hogging and noisy berating of Mike for having variant opinions -- it's all true.  It's obvious.  And yet, I don't tune away very often and when I do, it isn't for long.  And the numbers are saying that, if anything, The Hardline is getting more popular. 

So while on balance I give The Hardline an MTC thumb's-up -- when it's clicking, it's still very entertaining despite everything and Mike remains the most charismatic broadcaster on the air -- I have to ask myself if better competition wouldn't see a meaningful migration away from 1310/96.7 after 3 pm.  

I just don't know, so hard to say based on the current choices.  ESPN's substitution of Steve Dennis for Matt Mosley has been a step backwards.  Ben & Skin -- man, every time I tune in there it seems like they're doing some dumb game show thing or homering for the Cowboys or Rangers or otherwise failing to attract my interest for more than a few minutes.  The whole show just seems canned, the enthusiasm manufactured.  Maybe I need to do a power-listen on B&S to see if there's more to 'em, because as much as I feel at home with The Hardline, I'd give a PM drive show staffed by human beings who seemed comfortable talking to one another -- which is how I would characterize The Hardline even when it's weak -- a real shot.

Inaccurate reportage of Hardline ratings makes me melancholy in kind of a tragic, Jane Austen sort of way.

CONFIDENTIAL TO CRAIG "JUNIOR" MILLER: Come Home

Craig, as a fellow cycling enthusiast – but not in your league – I am excited about your cross-country jaunt.

As a Ticket listener, and in particular a daily Muser auditor, I am shaking with withdrawal symptoms.

Please take a right turn in Missouri – I believe I heard it said you were traveling west to east – and return to Dallas.

I am second to none in my near-worshipful admiration of Gordon Keith.  His gifts are staggering.  This site has dedicated entire months to celebrating him.

I also join all of humanity in having enormous affection for George Dunham.  It takes a special kind of talent to be one of those Sara Lee people, one of those people nobody doesn't like.

But, like many very fine things, Gordon is best savored in small portions, served at intervals that leave us looking forward to his contributions.

And George – needs a co-host.

Gordon is a noodger, a baiter, a badgerer, a ceaseless font of freshman debate tricks.  George isn't equipped to respond meaningfully.  Segments bog down before they get rolling.

Craig, I have referred to you as the Fred Astaire of the Ticket.  

"Rita, you won't believe what's coming up in Scattershooting."

 Fred dazzled us with his terpsichorean skills, but on the set he imposed discipline.  You moderate Gordon's behavior in ways George cannot do, and you also occupy air time that Gordon is now called upon to fill, which would be OK if he didn't feel the need to be "on" all the time.   Did we really like it all that much when someone tried to conduct a sincere interview with Robin Williams, or Dangerfield, or Rickles? 

So please abandon your lifelong dream of pedaling the country and come home and take care of the P1s that have made The Musers the most popular radio show in the entire world.

CONFIDENTIAL TO JEFF "USA CATMAN" CATLIN:   Doocy is not a complete solution, since Gordon – after reducing his Doocy-baiting for awhile – can't seem to let go of that bit.  But he way beats an empty chair.   Why he's vanished, I don't know.   But you've got an entire school of JV swarming around the borders of these shows, several of whom the P1 would love to see sitting in with George and Gordon, the same way Jake sits in with Bob and/or Dan.

Fix this shit, Jeff.

I know, guys, but those legs  .  .  .  .

A Happy Thanksgiving to All Confessors

Hope it is a safe and happy one for you all and that you can spend it with loved ones other than the ones with stars on their helmets.

While I have liked hearing The Hardline this morning, I could not believe that they replayed "Thanksgiving Loves the White Man," composed and performed some years back by Corby Davidson.  I suppose they play it every year, but I've never heard it before.  Hitting a woman -- an "Injun 'hore" -- with a rolling pin and a frying pan wasn't funny in the 90's and it's not funny now. 

The Ticket lost countless timeless drops in the move to Victory but for some reason this ordure survived.

If The Musers are listening, they must be horrified that their hearty laughter at this bilge -- it was when Corby was on with them in the morning for some reason -- has been preserved for the ages.

CONFIDENTIAL TO JEFF CATLIN:  Get this piece of crap out of heavy Thanksgiving rotation.

Other than that -- pretty good little show.

FROM THE ARCHIVES: That Musers' Deep Throat Informant and the "Poltergeist" Medium -- Separated at Birth?

 

Confessors:  I have a couple of, whaddya call them, "life events" going on at the same time right now.  Nothing likely to be mortal.  I'll try to get up something fresh but I may have to recycle items for awhile.  This one is from March of 2010.

Yesterday's visit with the Deep Throat Informant reminded me once again of an iconic screen character:

 *     *     *

I've noted this before, but thought I'd re-run it since the Musers' Deep Throat Informant reported on his/her presence at the Ron Washington cocaine ingestion episode.

The Deep Throat Informant -- at least the upper-register part of the fractured voice -- sounds almost exactly like the tiny “Poltergeist” ghost hunter that visited Craig T. Nelson and JoBeth Williams as they attempted to rescue Heather O'Rourke from  .  .  .  well from the poltergeist.  

The actress, Zelda Rubinstein, died earlier this year [2010].

Check it out and see if you think Gordon got any inspiration here:

 

(1) Crap; (2) Cool; (3) Click

CRAP:  I was waiting for the report on the intra-Ticket contretemps involving shots at George, but as the ads were winding down someone walked into my office and closed the door to solicit my confidential wisdom on proper plains management.  So I missed almost all of it, just picked up a bit near the end.

So Justin M is taking shots at George, I guess.  I've heard some of that banter on the Monty + The Machine showgram, but I always thought it was just a bit, the pygmies nipping at the heels of the giants for laughs.

But perhaps not.  I did hear Sean report that M+M is suspended for this coming weekend.

Can anyone fill in some details?  I guess it has something to do with the e-Brake?  M+M upset about weekend shows not being nominated?  Something like that.

By the way -- Gordon's bits frequently tease Justin, not in a harsh way, but there's clearly some (what I thought was friendly) friction there.

Perhaps Justin will stop by, or maybe I'll hear from one of my network of local industry sources who know some Ticket guys  .  .  .  .


COOL:  I was proud of The Little One in The Musers' and The Hardline's handling of the Odor/Bautista incident.  Balanced, interesting.

Odor's attack was colossally stupid, if emotionally satisfying.  And we didn't get any homerism from either show.  The visceral pleasures of the encounter were honestly acknowledged, but the bad optics and bad strategy were identified with precision (which is to say, I agreed).

I did not hear Norm or Dan/Bob -- can one of you fill us in on how they saw it?  I saw some Bob tweets but I have a hard time deciphering his Twitter attitude sometimes if I'm not following his thread or paying close attention to his Tweet-tormentors.

CLICK:  I've missed me some Ticket lately because I turn off the radio -- not just turn it down, turn it completely off -- within 1.6 seconds of the beginning of that Meador "Hidden Cost Motors" ad. Meador has hugely overestimated its appeal and persuasiveness.  It's running way, way too often on The Ticket.

You hear it once, you've heard all the jokes, unclever to begin with, then you hate it every other time it appears both because it's instant boredom and it goes on for a WHOLE MINUTE and the actor sounds like Gordon after a pack of unfiltered Camels.  It's a yuk-free bit and it goes on and on.

And really, Mr. Meador General Manager Guy who comes on and asks "have you ever had that experience?", no one has sold new cars like that since -- hell, I've never had that experience with any of the many new cars I've bought.  And you telling me Meador won't try to sell you an extended warranty and shine protection? 

And in all that airtime -- even the people who don't shut the damned thing off (1) don't hear the name of the dealership, and (2) don't hear the brand of cars being flogged until Mr. MGMG comes on, by which time people have already decided they will never, ever buy a car from whoever is inflicting this ad on them. The time would be better spent telling people how to spell "Meador".  (I assumed it was Medder or Metter -- never heard of it and thank Jah that Google searches phonetically.)

Meador is spending an enormous amount of money to drive people away from its dealership.

ThePlainsman1310@gmail

@Plainsman1310

Hey, Craig "Junior" Miller -- Do This

There is almost nothing wrong with The Musers.  Let me take that back.  There is nothing wrong with The Musers.  If the show were on a New York station, or syndicated, or even promoted a little, The Musers would be considered a legendary, historically important show.  As it is, it will be remembered forever by those of us fortunate enough to be able to tune in every day.  Talent, prep, pacing, tone, yuks, not afraid to steer from time to time into the mist of intellectual anarchy.  Can't beat it.

But there is something missing.

I rise on the plains at about 5:15, and by the time I feed the dog and find a handful of stale Chili-Cheese Fritos to kill off the overnight hunger, it's time for the epic Ticker by Sean Bass, formerly offered by the legendary Rich Phillips.  Nice intro for a day of sports-related broadcasting, if not actual sports broadcasting.

Some days I shave, some days I don't.  Some days I wear jeans, some days I put on a suit.

But every day, as I apply Jack Black Epic Moisturizing MP10 Nourishing Oil to my leathery puss, I ask myself:

What is the weather going to be today?

And why aren't the Musers telling me?

Why indeed?

So, Junior, here's a suggestion:

Give us some weather in the morning, maybe between 6-7, with one-sentence updates throughout the morning.  It doesn't have to be a composed bit every day.  You don't have to do your (pretty skilled) TV weatherman imitation.  Just a minute, maybe less, maybe more, depending on the circumstances, of what we can expect.  You can crib off Accuweather, Weather.com, Weatherspark, Weatherbug, WeatherUnderground, NOAA forecasts.   You can look at the radar and make your own forecast.  You can accept weather observations from texting, tweeting, emailing, or calling P1s.   You can interview professional meteorologists, academics.  You can do bits; or you don't have to.  You can be as unpredictable as the very weather gods themselves.

And best of all, Cat:  It can be sponsored.

I like Becca and her cut-through-the-phelgm vocals, but Junior, don't let her grab the glory that should be yours when it comes to giving us the weather.

Wow, it's been a long time since I advised The Ticket on how to do radio.  Felt good.

I'll be looking for my commission check.  Still waiting for the one for my advice to put The Ticket on 96.7 in the frequency modulation.

*      *     *

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

The Boys Drop Some Thoughts on Signing Up with The Little One

This article is going to suck.  No, really, it's not very good.  I've got better topics in the hopper.  But I didn't want to forget these couple of items, and it's Saturday night, and I'm watching a couple of Nirvana performances on one of those Saturday Night Live legacy reruns with Charles Barkley, and they're not very good but I was intrigued by the presence of a second guitarist, who I find through a little Internets stroll is one Pat Smear (Foo Fighters, Germs) -- the Internets also say the rehearsals were better -- and I'm trying to get more stuff up more often, and I just started typing.  And I feel scruddy.  I'm sorry.  I wish it were better and more innarestin.  Couldn't even find a redhead.

*     *     *

Try to put together items I hear that are at least vaguely related.  Here are a couple that have something, kinda, to do with Ticket host contracts.  Just a couple of remarks in passing, but worth a post, I thought.

(1)  I believe The Hardline was discussing Mike's and Danny's first exposure to August National.  Which, you will have perceived if you listened to the station at the end of this week, was a rousing success, something they enjoyed a lot.  (I thought the Musers' and Hardline's Masters coverage, if it can be called that, was a success.)

Mike said something like -- and I'm not going to get the quote right, but:  "It was one of those magic events that only the Ticket can produce," he said, "and we'll continue to do so for years to come."  I can't remember if he said "Right, Corby?" but in any event Corby chimed in with hearty agreement.

I'm sorry I can't reproduce exactly what was said, much less the tone of the remarks, but I had the distinct impression that Mike and Corby intended to convey the thought that The Hardline -- not just The Ticket but their very team -- was not going to be shuffling off that mortal coil anytime soon.

(2)  Of greater pull-back-the-curtain interest to me was a very brief exchange on the Muser showgram one morning a few weeks ago.

I don't remember how it came up, but one of them -- I think it was George, but any Muser may have made any of these remarks. -- made a passing and fuzzy reference relating to their representation in negotiations with The Ticket.  (I apologize on my vagueness on who was speaking, but I didn't realize what they were referring to  until the moment had passed.)  Or at least that was the context I picked up from the exchange. 

After George made the reference, Craig (I think) made a semi-joking reference to possible disagreement among the Muser team as to the effectiveness of that representation, which was followed by brief snorts of acknowledgment from one or both of the other Musers.   Garsh, I wish I could remember the words that were used.  It was subtle, one of those deep inside references that sometimes pass between hosts when they're on the air that only they understand.  One thing I did take from this brief exchange was that these guys may negotiate as a team, or, if not, at least all have the same representation.  If they have any representation at all.

I wouldn't be sharing this (rather defective) recollection with you if it didn't have something to do with the subject we're always interested in -- how these guys do their deals with The Ticket, how much swag they take home.

I have no idea how much Ticket hosts make.  Big-time hosts in big-time markets on shows that are less successful in those markets than The Ticket is in this very large market make mid-six and more.   The syndicated guys do gobs better, 'course.   The thing that struck me about this brief back-and-forth was that it touched on the topic of whether these guys were represented at all and, if so, if they had the kind of bomber agents that would get these guys salaries commensurate with the profits they accounted for.

I gather the answer is no.

We have some fairly recent evidence that our hosts could make more money elsewhere -- the near-defection of Bob and Dan.  I heard from one fairly well-placed Cumulus-connected source at one point that after all was said and done, the Ticket deal beat The Fan's.  But a more authoritative source -- Bob -- contacted me to suggest (in a very nice email) that this was not the case.  No dollars and cents attached to any of these communications, unforch.  (Wild guess:  Yearly dollars less at The Ticket, but possibly longer-term or other benefits could boost overall value.) 

By the way, if you care deeply about income inequality (I don't), radio provides an interesting example in all markets.  I think we all know from joshing remarks made on the various showgrams that if you're not a big-time host, you make borscht -- even if you have some on-air opportunities and perhaps even a weekend show.  And you have to become fairly well-known and a ratings monster before the really big money comes in.  I'd love to know the role that agents and lawyers play in that process, and whether these guys ever get counseled to jump ship, or withhold their services come contract-renewal time if they don't get a wage that reflects the value they represent to Cumulus shareholders.  (I wonder if they get stock options.)  

Although, as we know, Cumulus shares remain in the tank, so perhaps management doesn't feel that losing a host or two, or even a show or two, at The Ticket would mean much of anything to shareholders.  ($0.39/share at this writing.) 

Too bad for our heroes.

*     *     *

Off-topic.  On Monty + The Machine today, Justin and Machine had an argument.  Machine took the position that the fact that he was willing to travel across country to see a particular musical act meant that Justin should at least check out that act (not by traveling, just by listening to some of it).   In other words, his argument was that his personal discretionary investment in seeing this act required Justin to take a listen.  He got rather exercised about it.

Advantage:  Justin.   But pretty fun slacker radio as the insults flew.

*     *     *

Well, this has not been premium content tonight, but I thank you for sticking with me.  

Pleasant dreams and chocolate creams.

BREAKING: The Ratings Go Up, the Ratings Go Down

Thanks to Anonymous 718 for passing along the latest ratings in a comment to the last post:

October Sports Radio Ratings

The Ticket is still comfortably ahead overall in prime time in the prime demo.  Cat should give The Musers a nice gift card to All-Pro Foundation Repair, as they seem to be shouldering the burden of keeping The Ticket on top when everything is averaged out.

I don't know if there is much to be made about the rest of it.  I think it's fair to say that over the last several ratings periods, The Hardline and Ben & Skin are in a pretty close battle.

All of this must be viewed against the backdrop of continuing controversy nationwide over the accuracy of radio ratings since Nielsen switched to the personal people meters.  (What other kind of a meter would a personal meter be?)  (I wrote about the controversy in this post.)  As I also wrote in that post, The Musers' steady dominance tends to undercut the argument that the methods for measuring ratings are seriously flawed -- although I think that its much broader appeal means that it will tend to weather random ratings variations better than the other shows that don't offer as much variety.

I find The Hardline/Ben & Skin race less interesting than Norm & Donovan + Bad Radio's struggles against G-Bag Nation.  Norm & Donovan are significantly behind, while this time around the delta with BaD is about the same as between The Hardline and Ben & Skin.  I guess the jump in The Ticket's ratings at noon means some people are switching from G-Bag to BaD -- but not enough to vault BaD into the lead.

 The Hardline continues to get slagged in these pages, but as I wrote after Cat's AMA, it does seem to me like Mike is making his presence felt to a greater degree than he was there for awhile.  And it makes it a better show.   Show prep seems a little better.  Not a lot, but better.  But I do hear those Confessors who are weary of the lo-info cultural criticism that seems to have become a feature of most episodes.

I've been thinking about auditing Ben & Skin and G-Bag to see if I can discern its appeal.  My very hit-and-miss listening to Ben & Skin hasn't impressed me, but I haven't really given it a fair shot.  Maybe I'll take that up.

In the meantime, your views always welcome.

 *     *     *

A few readers need to revisit The Rules of the Confessional.   I've rejected several comments lately that were fine with the exception of entirely unnecessary shots or insults of other Confessors.  That's a deletin'.

SPECULATION ALERT: I Think The Cowboys Have Leaned on The Ticket in an Act of Irrational Discriminaton Against Harmless Neighborhood Rodents

Folks, for absolutely trivial guesses about things that don't matter that concern Our Ticket, you simply have no choice but to come to My Ticket Confession.

I have been nursing this speculation since sometime during training camp, but I didn't have any evidence for my thinkings -- until I heard a piece of evidence for it this past week.

I had the feeling that something had been missing from The Musers' coverage of the Cowboys this season.

Oh hell, no point in being coy about it -- I knew exactly what it was:

The Musers have stopped referring to Cole Beasley as "The Squirrel."

I remember the day that Gordon came up with the simile last season:  "He's like the squirrel that the kids let into the house when they've left the door open," OWTTE.  I thought at the time -- that's clever and perfect.

The Musers must have thought the same thing, because they recalled this felicitous comparison in the days that followed, and began referring to him as "The Squirrel."

In fact -- and my memory may be tricking me here -- I have a recollection that they interviewed Beasley one day and asked him if he minded the nickname, and he seemed to be OK with it.

This year, I can't recall The Musers ever referring to Beasley -- who has been prominent on the field -- as "The Squirrel."

Which set me wondering if some Cowboy functionary -- or could it have been Beasley's agent? -- made a call to the New World Catman or someone equally influential Cumulo-Ticket Overlord and respectfully requested that The Ticket bury that nickname.

I didn't think much more about it until this past week, when someone -- Craig or Gordon -- referred to Greg Hardy as "Machine-Gun Couch" (probably Gordon, who had probably forgotten Hardy's name), and George said:  "I don't think that's an approved nickname for Greg Hardy."

Italics mine.

So there's my observation, and my evidence.

I fully expect someone to comment and say, "Plainsman, you are a bad P1.  I have heard Mr. Keith refer to Mr. Beasley as 'The Squirrel' several times this season." 

In which case you may regard this as a burnt post.

When Will Gordon Have the Courage to Do The Hardline?

I was thinking this morning on the drive in that I'd like to hear a Touchdown Brothers segment (although I thought Gordon's ADD Josh Hamilton was pretty good), when the foregoing thought occurred to me.

Think about it:

--  Distinctive voices.

--  Distinctive, even over-the-top, personalities.

--  Distinctive verbal tics.

--  Endless fresh material.

--  Everyone would get all of the jokes.

--  The jokes would be funny.

There would, of course, be challenges:

--  Who would do all the voices?  I have a very dim recollection that in the past The Musers have employed guest impersonators.  I'd nominate Gordon for Corby, maybe George for Mike, and find some baritone-voiced comic to do Danny.  ALTERNATIVE:  Gordon do all three voices but make it a produced segment, not live, and use the digital voice processor to create amusing facsimiles of one or more of the voices (Danny = absurdly deep and mellow, Corby = absurdly chirpy and brittle).

--  Civil unrest at The Ticket.

--  Accusations of kicking The Hardline when it's down.

Anyway, Gordon, give it some thought.

"The Musers can do what The Hardline does, but The Hardline can't do what The Musers do."

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Stay Hard, Donnie

No, Donovan Lewis isn't going anywhere to the best of my knowledge.

During the 5:30 segment this morning -- a woefully underheard segment in The Ticket Day -- The Musers bade farewell to Donnie The Overnight Board Op.

I was in the shower at the time.  They mentioned his last name but I couldn't hear it and I can't find it on the Internets, and I also missed their identification of his new job.  I don't even know if I'm spelling "Donnie" correctly.

He's been doing 10p-6a for the last five-and-a-half years, succeeding the late Joel Jenista and trained by Jake Kemp and the legendary Michael Gruber.

Would one of our Ticket Guy readers please drop a comment with correct information on this Ticket stalwart?

Although Gordon hailed him as "the nicest guy at The Ticket," my abiding memory of DTOBO is one day when he tore angrily into the studio about ready to disassemble Gordon for one or another transgression.  And indeed, Gordon's historical Gordonesque mistreatment of him was mentioned.  All seems now to be forgiven.

Unrelated to text of post.  Just a parting gift to Donnie.

In any event, best of luck to Donnie The Overnight Board Op in his new position.

Welcome to the daytime.

Comments to this site are moderated.  

Before posting, please read Rules of the Confessional.  

Thank you.

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com 
@Plainsman1310