Wednesday, August 3, 2016

With All the Annoying Political Talk, we Turn to the Ads.


Confessor Jack McCall submitted this little essay prompted by his perplexity over the "Good Contractors List" commercials running with increasing frequency on The Ticket.  I liked the writing and the recollection and the point.  With Cowboys training camp and surging Rangers and Fight Night and all the rest there's Ticket fodder out there, but I thought this elegaic little piece was worth your time.  Thanks to Jack McCall -- his nom de MTC is actually quite clever -- and, as always, I would appreciate hearing from others who would like to be a guest contributor.  I hope Jack will weigh in on a Ticket topic soon.


*     *     *

As a P1 you have a love-hate relationship with commercials. And by "love" I mean "not hate as much." Commercials are part of the P1 deal, though, so your best option is to at least let the advertising genius in you dissect some of these odorous specimens.

If you don't have that level of expertise don't worry--neither do I. But I do know something about the generally terrible idea of coming up with a message that is so contrarian that it must be good. Hint: it isn't.

Sophomore year of high school my buddies and I managed to talk our parents into letting us spend New Year's at a friend's "river house," which was actually a single-wide situated some 300 yards of thick, steep hiking away from a desolate stretch of the Brazos.

Obtaining their permission was tough, as our folks no doubt imagined a combination of booze, fireworks and just an utter disregard for the dangers of the river. We prevailed but were still rattled enough on the drive down that we came up with an idea, one that would layer in some additional lies to lessen the ongoing skepticism. If nothing else we might be subject to less grilling upon return.

This idea, which was really bad and poorly strategized from the beginning, went something like this: Upon calling our parents to confirm arrival in Unincorporated, Texas, we'd all mention how some state trooper had stopped us as we pulled into our destination. This idea, which, again, was really bad, was that we'd breathlessly tell our parents how this cop had pulled us over for no good reason, searched us and our car for no good reason, and then obviously had to let us go because of course his search was fruitless.

What our parents would take from these calls, however, was that a mere 90 minutes into our trip we had already found ourselves in trouble with the police.

It's easy to become so enamored of a contrarian idea, so convinced of its reverse-psychology genius, that you don't quite think it all the way through. For example, if you're a company called The Good Contractors List, maybe don't do a whole commercial talking about a really BAD contractor on YOUR list. As Seinfeld once said, "Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?"

Your company positions itself, down to its very name, as a cut above the rest. But you spend lots of money to run lots of spots talking about a bad contractor on your good list. I guess the resulting cognitive dissonance is supposed to be so jarring that I'm now listening even more attentively as you explain why your company is still good anyway. But really, I'm just thinking about how maybe your company can't quite live up to, well, you know, the name you gave it.


"Anyone know where I can find a Hammer?"


69 comments:

Anonymous said...

The most annoying ads are the ones on the stream that fire up whenever you start a stream and if the stream hiccups for any reason you will hear again moments later.

Anonymous said...

Any ad where the the non-radio guy does a voice that is not his own. I AM LOOKING AT YOU MEADOR!!!! Stop it. For all that is good and right with this world, please stop.

As for the ticket, why does Norm do interviews at training camp solo without Donnie?

Anonymous said...

What is the ad that seems to just be the sound of a car driving by?

Anonymous said...

Silence the Knox City Knocker and his smarmy political views now!

Anonymous said...

If nobody in your life has ever told you your voice is perfect for radio or commercials, hire someone who was.

Recording your own commercials just screams cheap, lazy, or pandering.

Anonymous said...

@1:42 I kind of like the cheesy "keeping it real" guy

Anonymous said...

Ad starts with a ridiculously exaggerated playlet. Overly smug and villainous car salesman cheats an overly gullible customer lady, and yes, we even have the premise of "unicorn tears." Of course, this was just a dramatization, right? Wait. Enter our hero, our presumably trustworthy manager of an actual DFW car dealership. You see, he is so exasperated by the dialogue he's just overheard that he feels compelled to cut in and lay down some sense as he addresses "us" directly. Something to the effect of: "REALLY? AGAIN...If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is."

Thank you, sir. Clearly, this charitable gentleman is not going to sit idly by while predatory car salesmen overcharge poor, unsuspecting customers for unicorn tears. I just love his genuine shock and dismay as he repudiates the borderline idiotic hyperbole that he's just "overheard." You know, the borderline idiotic hyperbole that his own marketing team wrote and cast. Should I be impressed?

How dumb is this commercial? Grates on me every time I hear... "REALLY? AGAIN..."

ellislives said...

It's amazing how much air play "ad talk" gets on this forum. While I often agree with most of the opinions, I don't think they have the acute effect on me. Perhaps it's because I've gotten so used to their well established break schedule (Thanks CatMan for reinforcing this), I can punch out or grab something off the printer or hit the can, and nine times out of ten, hit the next ticker or the post. I know it's standard in radio and television but the levels for ads are out of control. I set my volume so I can't hear it outside of my office. The ad levels are so much higher, my admin knows the D&M Leasing jingle by heart

Tangent said...

Nice work Jack McCall. Good points; nice story. The length was perfect. This meets with my approval.

Anonymous said...

Next time Corby and Danny get on their high horse and start excoriating someone for a racist statement or viewpoint, just remember yesterday's Crazy Ass S*&% Black People Say segment.

Caveat, I am all for all types of humor with no bounds. What I am not all for is hypocrisy which is rampant out of those two.

Brian Ellis said...

@7:05

I can't believe he is still able to skirt this obvious double-standard. Mexican Dracula, the Ching-Chong asian drop, his horrid black man impersonation. But that's his mindset and no one ever calls him on it. When he does it, it's all in good fun. When someone else does it they're an obvious racist.

Anonymous said...

@8:36 Corby spouts all of the correct left wing opinions, so that is his force field. He get's to say "no no, I'm on your side"

deezy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
deezy said...

Nice job with the Obligatory Redhead on this one, Plainsman.

"I'll be in my bunk." - Jayne Cobb

Is Hee Haw on said...

Anyone else notice that Corby and Donovan had different stories on what went down when Donovan saw Corby's shaved head for the first time? Corby said that after he told Donovan "What, you think I'm some f-ing zoo animal?" he wanted to make sure that the girls that were sitting there knew that he was actually friends with Donnie, so he started asking if he had seen Jake or anyone else. The way Donovan told it was that after Corby said the zoo animal comment he walked away without saying anything else.

This could be no big deal to some of you guys, but to me it just shows how dishonest Corby is. I don't trust any story he tells, and this is just the latest example.

Anonymous said...

Why is jake allowed to go to Oxnard, but danny always has to stay back?

Anonymous said...

Because Jake has talent.

tg said...

I had to change the channel when I heard the my computer career commercial for like the gazillionth time. Hey, Tony Gulotti, you suck. Anydangwho, I heard a song titled "Caribbean Queen" on the radio station I switched over to and was instantly mesmerized. After it ended I looked the song up on YouTube. Here's a fun betcha didn't know: the artist is "Billy Ocean". Oh, and get this, he also has a racy song for all you rockers called "Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car." Love these two songs, they are so peppy and beautiful and I'm surprised I hadn't heard them more- especially the latter, it seems so perfectly arranged.

Any other hits by this guy or is he just kind of an 80's 2-hit wonder that has been forgotten?

Nonononever said...

Haha, TG, i'm guessing you're in your early 40's if u never heard of those, unless you're being ironic. Those two songs would be it for Mr. Ocean. If he had any others, I'd be curious if anyone else on this site would own up to knowing that.

Anonymous said...

First of all, I think Danny stays behind because he has a business to run. And then there is Fernando . . .

Second of all, I was surprised by Mike's admission that he is confused by how the Beatles' songs were released and cataloged. The Beatles were under contract with EMI, which released records in the UK under the Parlophone label and in the US under the Capitol label. In the UK albums were released with 14 tracks. In the US they were released with 12 (on average). Also, the UK did not include songs that had been released as singles. They opposed the idea of people having to buy the same songs twice. Capitol did not have that problem. With only 12 songs on an album, which included what was released as a single, Capitol was able to amass a backlog of Beatles songs. So Capitol could create and release albums with songs that had already been released on albums in the UK. This is where we get albums like Beatles '65, Beatles IV and Yesterday and Today. The Beatles insisted that Sgt. Pepper be the same in the UK and the US and all subsequent albums contained the same tracks. When the catalog was remastered and released on CD, the disks followed the Parlophone album sequence.

And third of all, the next time Corby wants to take a shot at the Longhorn Network, he might want to familiarize himself with their current programming.

Anonymous said...

The assumption by others and the implicit "yeah we are" by Mike, Danny, and Corby that they are all rock historian gurus is laughable. 628 points this out with aplomb. He'll, Danny couldn't get right the actual title of Dylan's Subterranean Homesick Blues.

Anonymous said...

I wish I was as smart and infallible as the commenters and critics on this site. Make a mistake or misspeak and you're obviously an idiot and shouldn't be on the radio.

slinky said...

Billy Ocean, now there's a blast. He had a minor hit back in my high school years called "Love Really Hurts Without You". I even bought the 45.

Anonymous said...

@10:26

Mike and I are the same age and lived Beatlemania. That's why I was surprised at Mike's remarks about how the songs were released. What I posted above was for the benefit of any listeners who might not understand what he was talking about.

On the other hand, Corby and Danny prove on a regular basis their knowledge of boomer rock is not what they think it is.

Tangent said...

The above conversation about not knowing what you're talking about got me to thinking. If you write and publish something, its very easy for critics to call you out. They can quote what you wrote, when and where you wrote it and show that you are wrong. Same goes for TV, or video on the internet. BUT, when you do a radio show, that is not caller driven, there is not an avenue for criticism, unless you count stuff like MTC. But even on this site, confessors have to paraphrase what was said by the host first. It enables the blowhard, i.e. Corby and Danny to speak out their ass about stuff they don't know or are unsure about, and they never really get held accountable. Thus, it continues and increases over time.

The Plainsman said...

There are Jake critics on this site, and Sean critics on this site, and Jake + Sean critics on this site. But I'm sitting here on a Sunday morning listening to Jake, Sean, Justin, some junior guy filling in on the board, and maybe another guy who chimes in from time to time, I kinda lost count, and I'm thinking -- this is just a great-sounding show. They're talking Olympics -- in my view, the least important important event in the world -- and it's enjoyable radio. It's just a solid, entertaining listen.

Yeah, I punch out on the politics and social commentary on this show and most of the others, but when they stick to sports and pop culture and guy stuff -- tough to beat.

On the weekend shows you also get the curtain drawn back a bit. The beginning of the show today featured a discussion of the banning of crosstalk and the substitution of replays between the weekend shows. Longtime listeners are appalled at this policy, which has been in effect for a while now. Crosstalk is almost always fun, great radio, and the replays tend to feature punch-out interviews. But man, take a look at those weekday ratings. It's hard to say if Fahy's Audio Bag of Fun has increased weekday listening, but I don't think you're going to convince The Pan-American Man of the Cat to stop leveraging the asset represented by past segments.

Anyway, good stuff on The Shake Joint today.

The Plainsman said...

Did I just hear Jake refer to the National Football League as "Niffle"?

The Plainsman said...

Join me, Confessors, in keeping a good thought for Craig Miller as he deals with whatever issue has brought him back to Dallas. I have no information on what that might be and I haven't heard any mention of it on the station.

Shaggy said...

He was out last Thursday and Friday too. "Family business".

Anonymous said...

Somebody needs to Uncle Tio Marge's motorized wheelchair.

blergoyen said...

Plainsman, I try to make a point of listening to TSJ every weekend. While I understand their strong opinions will get their share of criticism, TSJ may be the show least affected by the group-think that grows like a yeast infection in that bubble. I think they get better every time they fill in for one of the A-team shows. I would have no problem is they permanently replace a couple of the A-team shows. They do need something that really sets them apart, personality-wise to get to that next level. Maybe this fight-night thing will add to that.

Anonymous said...

The first time I heard anyone mention that Junior had left Oxnard it was described as a family illness. (It was a show other than D&M but I don't remember which) Since then it's just been described as family business.

Anonymous said...

OMG that girl is smoking hot.

Carlton said...

Good to see that The Plainsman still finds opportunities to pander to ticket staff.

TSJ is terrible. Anything involving Jake & TC is an immediate punch out.

Same folks that gush over Jack & TC will bash Corby and Danny at the same time. Don't get it. Snake and Black Cloud have more talent in their pinky than Jack & TC will ever have.

Bring back the rant.
Bring back the orphanage.

I found her diary underneath a tree said...

I guess we'll find out tomorrow (Junior), as he's slated to return to the airwaves.

blergoyen, while you're mostly right that TSJ doesn't tote the company bubble line, you miss the forest for the trees: TSJ is deeply affected byand espouses the bubble/group-think of the supposed sports smart-set that is found on the interwebs. I'm not saying that that's a good or bad thing. But I am saying that it is the case.

Carlton, I fail to see how Pman is pandering to Ticket staffers. What, is he not allowed to express his opinions unless they are aligned with yours? Pure silliness on your part, Carlton.

Anonymous said...

Junior's tweet from 3 hours ago: "Been home, helping take care of Dad. He's better, so headed back to camp today. Ratings have soared in my absence--hope I still have a job."

Anonymous said...

According to Corby, he doesn't go to Ranger games on the weekend because he likes to separate his weekend from his job. Totally understandable.

I guess he won't be going to any Sooner or Cowboy games this year.

Mortar Forker said...

Sheesh. None of these guys are allowed to make a mistake, say anything that isn't always 100% consistent with everything they've ever said, or shit, just be human.

Bitch, whine, moan, rinse, repeat.

Anonymous said...

MF (that made me giggle):

It's just another example of Corby popping off without really thinking about what he is saying.

livinginreality said...

Junior disclosed this morning that his Dad had suffered a stroke, but was stable and doing OK in the hospital. They don't believe he has any permanent damage as he was with Junior's aunts when it occurred so they got him immediate help. Very glad to hear Junior, Sr. is doing OK.

Anonymous said...

As crazy as Corby makes me at times, he does that wireless segment and totally makes it all okay. He asked Jerry if it was a mistake to serve Johnny Walker Blue to the media at the Cowboys media party. Jerry said "well, I think so,cause not a one of them is worth that quality of whiskey, put that in three inch headlines".

Anonymous said...

@6:22

You beat me to it. He may be an idiot most of the time, but nobody mines wireless gold like Corby.

slinky said...

The only wireless gold I've ever seen from Corby was when he got bitch slapped. Btw, I have yet to be able to get that video. I was hoping to retrieve the slap sound as my ringtone.

Anonymous said...

I can't be the only one who finds wireless Corby EXTREMELY overrated, can I?

I'm not a fan of wireless Gordo either, and Gordo is my leader.

Anonymous said...

@1:40
I'm not a huge fan of wireless, because it often falls flat, but the Jerry question yesterday was pretty great.

Ed said...

The Ticket built a franchise bit around the E-Brake, in which co-workers who make a mistake or misspeak are called out and the broadcast is stopped down so that it can be pointed out what an idiot the person is

The Confessors are simply doing some of the heavy lifting that the hosts have missed...

Harry said...

Wireless was always a punch-out for me. As was every interview. I swore off the ticket for good because I was tired of Corby and Danny peddling their left wing hatred and Gordo's daily bashing of anything on the right. But I kept sneaking back in. The morning after the espys when Junior and Jubb said they had no problem with the BLM rant from LeBron, CP3, et al, I immediately changed my presets, AM and FM, as well as the other sports stayions, unfollowed all of my sports Twitter accounts, and blocked ESPN on my cable package, which will not be renewed.
I don't want to watch NFL football in pink all October.
I don't want to put a dime into the NBA.
To paraphrase Ronald Reagan, I didn't leave sports. Sports kicked me in the nuts, pissed on me, shot my dog and insulted my mother, wife, and daughters.
To bring it around full Gordo: The Ticket gave me full-blown AIDS.

Harry said...

Wireless was always a punch-out for me. As was every interview. I swore off the ticket for good because I was tired of Corby and Danny peddling their left wing hatred and Gordo's daily bashing of anything on the right. But I kept sneaking back in. The morning after the espys when Junior and Jubb said they had no problem with the BLM rant from LeBron, CP3, et al, I immediately changed my presets, AM and FM, as well as the other sports stayions, unfollowed all of my sports Twitter accounts, and blocked ESPN on my cable package, which will not be renewed.
I don't want to watch NFL football in pink all October.
I don't want to put a dime into the NBA.
To paraphrase Ronald Reagan, I didn't leave sports. Sports kicked me in the nuts, pissed on me, shot my dog and insulted my mother, wife, and daughters.
To bring it around full Gordo: The Ticket gave me full-blown AIDS.

blergoyen said...

Jones was just on again with THL. He did a segment with them, and basically they talked about how awesome Jones is. I've decided there is no Dallas Cowboys any longer. All that's left is the "Jerry Jones Circus" and the Deathstar. It took him a generation to do it, but Jerry Jones killed the Dallas Cowboys.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you are a very angry person.

Anonymous said...

If you're disappointed that the Hardline didn't take the opportunity to quiz Jerry on who's making the team, you need to take a refresher on how the Ticket operates.

They didn't take any calls for Jerry either. Bummer.

The Plainsman said...

Whoa, blergoyan, my fine faithful Confessor! I thought that was the most lucid sustained string of syllables I have ever heard Jerry Jones put together. And I found it very interesting. I agreed with Mike and Corby after the interview -- who wants another non-answer (or preposterous answer) about football matters?

I tend to agree that he is not the "football man" that is going to take them to another championship. But did you hear him talk about value? That was the entire theme of his remarks. The man has parlayed old, old championships into the most valuable sports franchise in the world while cranking out teams that hover on either side of mediocre. My theory: people like cowboys, people like simple symbols (blue bordered star), people like the absolute hottest of the hot cheerleaders, people like cartoon owners who are always obliging with some outre statement, signing, draft pick, or , and the home whites are the absolute most gorgeous unis in sports. But it has to be more than that. A lot of the value of the team comes from real estate, and Jerry owns a pantload more in this area than AT&T and The Star. Who knows? Someone will write that story someday, and my guess is a lot of it will focus on exactly the history we heard today. And how he created value, if not rings.

The Plainsman said...

Wireless:

Basically a fan of Corby's wireless perambulations. However, I have one recommendation for improvement which I would respectfully ask New World Catman to implement immediately: Eliminate Mike and Danny talking to Corby while he's interviewing. He'll be going along fine, and Mike or Danny will urge him to ask some question about the interviewee's vagina or afterbirth or something. It completely kills anything Corby had going as he stops to listen to the question, which more often than not finds Mike and Danny talking over one another, and the question is without exception as juvenile as I have suggested. Let Corby be Corby as long as he doesn't wander out of range.

Gordon: He can get gold and there are some classics with notable sports or other publicfigures, but when he's on the hunt for civilians he sometimes crosses the line from man-on-the-street yuks to exploitation of the unfortunate or dumb. He tends not to pick subjects who are likely to challenge him with their own verbal facility or brains. I'd like to see Craig "Junior" Miller get a wireless assignment.

But I'm fine with Wireless Corby until whispered suggestions from home base bring the bit to a screeching halt.

Anonymous said...

I guess I have no more use for this website.

The Plainsman said...

Always happy to receive constructive feedback.

blergoyen said...

Wow, I didn't realize Jerreh criticism would bring such an immediate dogpile in 2016.

Plainsman - I'm aware of what you detailed above, and I'm sure it was and is and was Jerry's point to bring that across. But can you honestly tell me you brag about franchise value in your passing conversations with Patriots or Steelers or Ravens fans?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go laugh my ass off while I listen to gordo do a segment as little Stephen Jones.

Anonymous said...

This is the mother of all asides. If you don't like your time wasted move along now.

Re: Junior's story about someone banging on his hotel room door by mistake. After security takes him away he is told by the front desk that it was a "navy officer on leave." Of course there is Navy presence up and down the coast of California. But the Navy Construction Battalion (Seabees) west coast headquarters is a couple of miles away at Port Hueneme. There's a Seabee Museum there, as well as a decommissioned Spruance-class destroyer that's used as a testing platform.

So how are the Cowboy linebackers looking this year?

The Plainsman said...

blergoyen (sorry for misspelling your nom-de-MTC in the last post): No, I don't brag about franchise value. My only point is that that was the topic at hand, and he was fairly clear about it. He almost sounded like a different person when football qua football wasn't the topic.

I agree with you (and I think I said this) that the Cowboys will not return to greatness with him at the football helm. And I don't hold out much hope for Stephen, either.

Anonymous said...

"I guess I have no use for..." Says a lot about you, pal.

Scruffy said...

Did Jerry create the value, or was the value created around him? Even a franchise like the Raiders would sell for a huge profit compared to where it was in 1990. The NFL created value for all the teams as much as Jerry did or didn't. Every time someone wants to claim Jerry is a wonderful businessman, and perhaps he is with real estate, he's the same man who has thought for 30 or so years that he can wear a dozen hats that are typically all full time jobs of their own rather than hire dedicated, specialized experts for each one of those roles and listen to and guide them. That's not good business, that's ego and narcissism.

How much would the Cowboys be worth if kids in college now had been alive for some more Super Bowl wins? You could theorize Jerry has pissed away hundreds of millions in potential value. Take the Cowboys brand with the Patriots success and try to tell me it wouldn't be worth more.

Anonymous said...

Is that Jake blocking the webcam view of Computer's white prize?

Anonymous said...

My mistake. It's Donovan.

Scott said...

I have endured this Webcam for 2 weeks. I am an audio engineer by trade. How, in the world, can we go this long with loose connections, ground loop and gain structure issues... and no one fixes it. Rich could probably fix it.

Did no one listen? Does no one care? I can't imagine sponsors are happy. This is pathetic. Yes, I listened, and wondered why in the world no one cares.

Anonymous said...

How was Corby able to ask Romo questions when he was giving him a B.J. the entire interview?

Anonymous said...

I can now recite the Dez interview from memory.

BTW, did Mike ever find anybody who was current on Ballers?

Anonymous said...

I completely agree with 5:51. I had to turn it off.

Did anyone hear the Musers where a guy called in regarding a competing talk show advocated "buzzing" cyclist's on roads they are present and if you hit one "well it would be the cyclist fault".?? Junior was aware and said "he was on it". Sounded pissed. I'd be curious if anybody knew who or what show/station?

East Texas P1 said...

@7:09

It was the K&C Masterpiece over on the fan.

https://www.reddit.com/r/theticket/comments/4xdug9/dallas_radio_show_hosts_call_for_drivers_to_buzz/

DA said...

Help me on this.

The Ticket has had a patnership with The Dallas Morning News for years, yet every time college football news and realignment news hits a messageboard Corby is well, Corba.

The DMN has Chuck Carlton, who covers the Big XII conference as hus gig, yet he is not given an ability to report.

Anonymous said...

I think Corby fancies himself a college football savant. Mike shows no compunction to put a governor on Corby for anything - so there you have it.