Saturday, May 13, 2017

PROGRAM NOTE: It's an All-Eli Saturday!

(1) It's starting right now on The Teebox, where Craig Rosengarden is expressly showcasing Eli Jordan in partial expiation for Craig "Junior" Miller's failure to include him in his just-published Ticket Tier Chart (see below).  Always good to hear Eli on The Teebox.

Eli was talking about how long he's been at The Ticket.  I couldn't quite parse his entire account, but he's been associated with the station a lot longer than I thought, not always in an on-air role.  This is his second stint at the station.  He said he's been on-air for three years -- I wouldn't have thought it was that long, but the old memory ain't what it used to be.

(2)  Country Force starring Eli and Ty Walker will be subbing for the Kickaround this afternoon.

(3)  From 5 to 6:30 today, Country Force will be conducting a special pre-MMA show.  I believe they will be broadcasting from The Plaza, so stop by.

*     *     *

Now, as to Junior's Ticket Tier Chart, published yesterday on Twitter.

Here it is:






     Big Strong Jer
     M. Sirois


     Cray Trey
     C. Sirois
     Carlos Leal
     DJ Mark


     Anyone whose name I don't know





*     *     *

Note the omission of the aforementioned Eli Jordan and also David Newbury.  Surely an oversight.  And surely a bit.

Other than that, I don't think I have much of a quarrel with this chart.  I would move some guys up or down depending on my likes and like-less, but in terms of the actual real objective station pecking order, I think Junior's has the right peckers and peckees.

And the biggest peckers are in Tier One.


"But  .  .  .  but Cat, you  .  .  .  you told me you were Tier Zero."

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Campound Talk

Only observation I have at this time is that it must be fairly close by.  They were talking about Gordon not making it by noon because he was insisting on tearing out a wall in his apartment to get a deceased rodent, but they made it sound like he wouldn't miss it by much, and he obviously didn't think it would unduly interfere with his broadcasting and radio-brotherly duties.

Water nearby -- George bringing a boat.

Probably that same place they've had it a couple of times in the past -- isn't it out in the Mid-Cities somewhere?  I forget.

Conundrum:  Fargo, or Junior Coast to Coast?

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Draft Notes, Random

(1) I don't care anything about the draft and, as the Confessor knows, don't know a whole lot about sports generally.  But for some reason I always love First Night Draft Talk on The Ticket.  This year is no disappointment.  Even though you hear these guys talking about the same things in their own shows during the week, it still sounds fresh and the guys sound engaged and happy to be on call for the greater glory.

(2) Norm mentioned earlier today that he had not been feeling well and might not make it past pick 16.  I wonder if that is why he is making very much mistakes tonight.  Identifying the number one pick as someone's "sister," getting draft numbers wrong, just generally having a hard time getting more complex phrases out with any coherence.  Yow, did I just hear him call a "baby" a "bagel"?  Let's hope that's some medication kicking in. 

(3) Junior Miller is not only the Fred Astaire of The Ticket, he is also the Garrison Keillor of The Ticket, the maestro of wry, dry, observational humor and offbeat gags.

(4)  Bob Sturm is at least a regional treasure, and may well be a national treasure.  He has his issues with excessive discursion on occasion, but if you are patient there's usually a nugget before he takes the next breath.

(5)  One of these days I have to write a David Moore appreciation.  I know some Confessors don't care for him, but I think he's excellent.  Remember, he's the successor to Mickey Spagnola and Todd Archer, and he's still going strong.  I think there's room for Intentional Grounding all year 'round, don't really care what he and Big Bob decide to discuss -- that show always seems too short to me.

(6)  Not much Corby, yet.

(7)  No JV on air tonight, not counting the capsule bios they do after the picks.

"Norm, I don't come to laugh when you cover the draft.  I have the champagne and pork rinds waiting."

Monday, April 24, 2017

i♥, Likely RIP

iHeartRadio is in serious trouble.

Unlike some recent speculations by visitors to this site on Cumulus's looming demise, this looks like the real thing.

It seems unlikely this would mean the disappearance of the iHeart streams and other services.  A Chapter 11 bankruptcy, if it happens, means restructuring, selling off assets, and the like -- those assets don't just disappear.

I will leave to Confessors who do more streaming than I do (all of them) to comment on whether it matters to them if the iHeartRadio app for Ticket monitoring lives or dies.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

CONFIDENTIAL to Mosquito Steve!

Mosquito Nick's is now advertising on The Ticket!   So far it can only afford weekend time, but watch your ass, Steverino!

I am a big MS fan.  I think it is significant that Mosquito Steve is an actual guy, where as Mosquito Nick's, owing to the possessive form, is just an entity that belongs to Nick.

I think Mike R is going through one of his periodic upticks in Hardline interest.  Seems to me like I've heard more of his voice recently.  Maybe because the Rangers are playing again.

I heard Monty + The Machine say they had new microphones.  I believe it.  Machine sounds much better, much less overdriven than usual.

Working on one of my periodic program ruminations.  Hope to have it up soon.

Lovely Rita, Mosquita Maid

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Pax Ticketa

Confessor Gypo Nolan commented:  "Hold on to your butts.  Big time."

That sent me into a frenzy of DFW sports media source checking, some of whom have tentacles into The Ticket.

Know what they all said?

Ain't nothing happening.  Hosts tied up.  No reports of rebellion or departure or retirement or unhappiness.  All good at 1310 AM, 96-7 FM.

But  .  .  .  what about Cumulus? I asked.

What about it? they replied. Next deadline with the lenders is sometime in 2019.

So Confessors, I did my due diligence, and came up with borscht.

Gypo, you got some 'splainin' to do.

Unless you're reporting on the Tony Romo thing, or something happening at ESPN or Fan, in which case if you don't say any more than "Hold on to your butts.  Big time" on a site dedicated to The Ticket, you haven't teased much of anything at all.

Give, Gypo, or forever lose your MTC cred.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Junior Is Prescient Even When He Is Solely Intending to Be Amusing -- BREAKING: Sirois/Monte Update

I recall a discussion on The Musers about Tony Romo.

Junior said words to the following effect:  "I don't know if the Cowboys will trade Tony Romo or release him.  But I do know that whatever they decide to do, it will be wrong."  Not an exact quote, but you get the comedy point he was making.

Well  .  .  .  .

I must be one of the few Cowboys observers in town who has no affection at all for Jerry Jones.  I don't think he's a nice man.  His "executive of the year" award was a joke.  Hall of Fame?  Yeah, they gave Arafat a Nobel Peace Prize, too.

I'm not one of those who thinks the Cowboys "owe" Tony Romo something, or vice versa.  And I never imputed that sentiment to the Jones family.  I never thought for a minute that any decision the Joneses would make about Romo would have the slightest whiff of altruism about it.  Nor would I expect it to.  All this "family" talk -- hs.

Once again, events seem to be bearing out the Wisdom of the Joonz.

"You can cage me anytime, TC."

 *     *     *

BREAKING BREAKING BREAKING -- Comment thread remarks on the on-air blowup by Mike Sirois against Justin Montemayor, and it's all over Ticket-related social media.  

Justin has tweeted this photograph illustrating that all is well, for public consumption at least.  And it looks sincere to me:

Monday, March 20, 2017

The Quick Hits Just Keep On Coming

Confessors, apologies.  I've been working seven-day weeks for awhile and when I get a few hours The Woman needs attention and bills need to be paid and other loved ones need a few things, so there you go.

But I've been keeping a few notes lately.  Thought about making each one a separate crappy post, but will go with a data dump instead.

Thanks for continuing to check in.  Come on, lads and ladies, let's get some nice civilized threads going here.  (You know, there are more female Confessors than you might expect.)

Numbered for your convenience in response:

        (1)   When Nerlens Noel joined the Mavs and missed that flight, Mike and Corby reported that they hadn't heard anything about the guy being a problem teammate at his prior port of call.  The Musers had reported earlier in the day that he had been chronically late or absent from meetings with the 76ers and frequently fined.  Of course they hadn't heard about it because they don't prepare for the show.  And today, Corby had this segment on "Beauty and the Beast" and had absolutely zero concept of what the movie was about.  One-half minute on Google would have solved that.

      (2)    Holy Christ, those Load Bearing Wall people.  (   Gonna remove a load bearing wall for you in a way that will not make your house fall down.  And then they're going to give you a TEN YEAR WARRANTY?  So what are they warranting against?  It's gotta be that YOUR HOUSE WILL NOT FALL DOWN AFTER THEY DO THEIR WALL-REMOVAL THING.  And they warrant that that will be the case for -- TEN YEARS?  After which that warranty will expire and too bad if your house collapses around you, or whoever is so unfortunate as to purchase it from you and receive that valuable transferrable warranty for a home they may live in for decades?  Is that the worst goddam warranty you ever heard of?  All-Pro Foundation Repair guys must be splitting a gut right now.

      (3)    If Craig "Junior" Miller is going to make fun of ebonics -- and I have no problem with anyone making fun of ebonics, by the way -- he needs to get the ebonic patois right.  He will sometimes say to George and Gordon, "Let me axt you a question."  But the Community word (not universal, I'm sure, but I've interviewed many AA employment candidates who use it) is not "axt," but "ax."  (See, e.g.,  Now, Junior is a very sophisticated humorist, so perhaps he is deliberately getting wrong what is already wrong (conventionally speaking) as a honk who misuses AA patois -- i.e., it's a bit.  But I think he's just not hearing it right.

      (4)    My Lord Jah Almighty, the Tylock/George Eye Care jingle is absolutely hahhrrrrible.  Sounds like a bunch of schoolgirls, and the thing is way too grandiose and overproduced and LONG.  I thought the old Boothe Eye Care Lasik ads were bad -- remember his TV ad, where he has a Cowboys uniform on? -- but this one is hilariously awful.

      (5)    Many times when a Confessor has an issue, he starts with "Is it just me, or  .  .  .  . "  This one, no.  It's not just me.  What the hell is going on with The Ticket's return music?  It has gotten way, way too loud, and goes on way, way too long without a fadeout.  Hosts can barely be heard as whatever is being played goes on and on at excessive volume.  Now, I gather that at least on The Hardline, a host is in charge of selecting return music?  So not pointing any fingers, I'm thinking this has got to be some kind of new policy.  O Sainted Catman of the New World, please make it stop.

      (6)    JUNIOR MILLER, TECH SAVANT.  He predicted the early demise of the iPad -- presumably, tablets generally, shortly after their introduction.  I love my Samsung Galaxy Tab S2, use it all the time, but I'll be switched if old Joonze didn't have it right.  (TECH CRUNCH: Tablets Are Dead)

      (7)    Why isn't Gordon, whose column was short-listed for a Pulitzer at the Dallas Morning News, still doing that column?   I believe I heard him talk about maybe reviving it, which suggests perhaps it was his choice to discontinue.  Can't believe he would voluntarily give up that kind of national exposure with what was really some excellent, prize-winning work.  Anyone know the story?

      (8)    Wouldn't you think that wordsmith Gordon would have thought up a better name for his band than "The Gordon Keith Band"?

      (9)    Laughed heartily at the brief Hardline discussion on 3/9 about whether you could keep a woman occupied “all day” with frozen peanut butter in a red “kong” toy as you can a dog.

      (10)    Why is so much major Cowboys news broken by national media (Schefter, Mortensen, others) rather than local media?  Granted, sometimes their scoops are wrong (Schefter's report that the Cowboys were going to release T. Romo that Thursday a few weeks back).

      (11)   Jeez, Danny's voice is sounding worse and worse.  Constant gravel now, that former mellow Gentleman Jack smoothness is a thing of the past.  Worrisome.

      (12)   Junior is now promoting Stellar Home Theater.  A week or two ago, someone was talking about recording a series, or watching a particular series, or something, and someone was asking Junior if he were "in" on either watching or recording.  He said, in a voice filmed with doom, that he was presently unable to do so.  OWTTE.  Had to chortle.

      (13)   Last 11 times I have punched in to Monte + The Machine (aka "Not a Podcast") out running errands on a Saturday morning, I have heard, upon said in-punching, the voice of Mike "The Machine" Marshall.

      (14)    I need help.  On maybe a half-dozen occasions over the past month or so, I've punched out on the station for one reason or another.  Maybe not even something related to show content, maybe just not ready for another bunch of ads, or maybe I had some music cued up, or something.  Or maybe the lads were yammering on with more vagina talk, or teacher-student sex talk, or something else I'm tired of.  Maybe I'd arrived at a store and was leaving the Conestoga for a few minutes.  Or maybe I had gone from the car to the office to pick up my listening there.  Got a nice stereo there just for that purpose. No big deal, we all punch out for one reason or another from time to time.  But on these occasions, I FORGOT TO PUNCH BACK IN.   Last Friday, for example, I realized that I missed Junior's Scattershooting and the E-Brake, which I never like to miss. it's happened on other occasions when I was perfectly free to listen to my weekday and weekend heroes, and had a distraction of one kind or another causing a PO, and never came back.  Very concerning.  Hoping it's a phase.  Not aware of any particular disenchantment with the weekday crews, not bored with The Ticket concept or guys.  So not sure what's going on.  You ever take a subconscious break from The Little One?

      (15)   I'll leave you with this:

      It is the 90s.

      I'm in St. Louis, negotiating a deal.

      I'm at the Lambert Airport Marriott.

      More precisely, I'm at the Firehouse bar in that certain lodging destination.

      Kind of dark, smoky.  Yes, kids, there was a time you could smoke in bars.  Noisy.

      I was just kind of standing there.  Had to be sharp the next day, not carousing.

      I noticed that there was a man sitting in a chair right next to me, quiet, alone.  Just sitting there, seemed a little down.

      I looked down.

      Chuck Berry.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

A Few Quick Hits

(1) Craig "Junior" Miller was on fire this morning.  He played the race card explicitly (even used the phrase "I'm going to play the race card") in arguing that the Rangers wouldn't give a black player the same chance after chance that they are giving Josh Hamilton.   Then he called Sooner quarterback Baker Mayfield a "spazz" and "spastic," not just once, but several times.  Not disputing the point -- just a little startling to hear while I'm shaving.

(2) I haven't heard much of Monty + The Machine (i.e., "Not a Podcast") lately.  I did hear some of Mike "The Machine" Marshall's post-game Mavericks work and thought it was pretty good.

(3) We now have some theories on the ubiquity of those unlistenable Meador ads.  (i) A couple of posts ago a Confessor advised that Meador had fallen off a list of -- I forget exactly, maybe the Confessor can re-post, but the thought was that it had lost a spot on a list of quality or trustworthy dealers, or something like that.  Accounts for a million ads that say nothing about the products or the price, but are all about honesty, transparency, and the like.   (ii) General Sales Manager Charlie Gray, I'm guessing, is doing all those voices and, I'm also guessing, writes the copy.  Remember the one where Charlie is talking and all of a sudden, without an obvious edit, "Bob" begins to talk?

(4)  I owe Emmitt Smith an apology.  For weeks I drove by the digital billboard going north on the Tollway not far from downtown, and I would see this ad for PlainsCapital bank.  It showed a photograph of Emmitt and what I took to be a computer-generated image of a very beautiful young woman.  I mean, I thought she was a product of the animator's art, I really did.  The legend was "Our Bank Has Swagger."  Why, I thought, would they generate some fake image to show with Emmitt?  I thought maybe she was supposed to be his banker.   Here is the photo, without the PlainsCapital logo.

I suppose a true fan would know that that is his wife, Pat.  But I didn't.  Driving by at 65 mph, with billboard-quality resolution, I thought she was CGI all the way.  Turns out no, she's just perfect.  So I apologize to both Mr. and Mrs. Smith for my crass error.  Been making a lot of those lately.

Go forth, Confessors.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Ticketshock [+ CORRECTION]

All right, Confessors, let's get some reports from Ticketstock, and photos if you have them.  (Send to

To my surprise, The Girl said she was game for some Ticketstock.

In the past, I have usually departed work early on Friday to attend.   I would arrive at the Irving Convention Center maybe four-ish, and the crowds would already be good and the booths lined up in several rows and along the walls.

This time  .  .  .

We arrived around 6:30.  Paid the $5.00 for parking.  (That's not extortionate for parking, but The Ticket should say something about that in their promotions since they stress that the event is free.  Maybe that's why they always stress it's "free to enter."  It's not free to arrive, but free to walk in the door.)

I will confess, Confessors, that I was rather startled.  I had prepared The Girl for a milling, noisy, T-fueled crowd.

But the crowd was very sparse; not a "crowd" at all.  There was a group of people sitting on the ground in front of the stage listening to (and enjoying) the round table, but the surrounding floor in the convention hall was pretty empty.

And there was a lot of floor to be seen.  The number of vendors with displays there was way down from the last time I was at a Friday Ticketstock presentation.  No need to place them in rows, there weren't enough of them to make up rows.

Just a strange vibe.  Despite the rich possibilities for TicketChick costuming from the Eighties theme, they appeared to be wearing the same outfits they'd worn a few years before when the theme was supposedly "Mardi Gras" (although I recall zero promotion for that at the time).  The three I encountered a couple of times seemed a little unsure of what they were supposed to be doing.

And in the past, they had moved bleachers up to an area in front of the stage to accommodate people who wanted to listen to the show.  On Friday, the bleachers sat unused against a far wall and people who wanted to listen (you had to be directly in line with the speakers -- a little off to the side and all you could hear was Corby's keening howler-monkey larf) had to sit on the ground or stand.

Now I'm thinking a couple of things here in possible mitigation:

(1) Maybe vendors figure Saturday is the big day so in these uncertain times they don't pop for two days, and there were a lot more on Saturday.  What was the vendor/booth situation like on Saturday?

(2) Maybe people were holding off until Saturday because they'd moved the TimeWasters' performance.  All the headliners were for Saturday.  I heard Junior say Saturday morning that they were expecting the biggest crowd in the history of TicketStock that day, but when I tuned in around 5 that afternoon I thought I picked up one of the Roundtablers making a sideways reference to a thin crowd, and there was little crowd noise being picked up.  How was the Saturday crowd?

(3) Maybe the bleachers were really only for the TimeWasters' performance in the past and so had not been put in place on Friday, and they got moved up on Saturday.

I applaud The Ticket's community outreach with its Guys Nights Out (Guys Night Outs?) and Ticketstock and all the rest.  I've enjoyed them all in the past.  But this one seemed a little denatured, a little dispirited and frankly, a little half-assed.

But give me your experience, and set me straight.  I'm thinking Friday was an outlier and that things must have turned around on Saturday.

The Girl was puzzled.


ERROR ERROR ERROR:  Just heard Jake and Sean, whose reportage I trust, talking about how the crowds were amazing Friday night and also Saturday, bigger on Friday than Saturday, even.  Biggest Ticketstock ever.  So I must have gone at a quiet time, sample size too small.

Your Source for Quality Ticket Journalism regrets its misleading analysis.

Alert Snopes.

FURTHER:  To see how way wrong I was, see NTexas's sister's photos in the cut-and-paste link in the first comment.  Thanks much for that.  Man, I shoulda hung on.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

"If You're Going to Irving, Texas . . . [+ an MTC Milestone]

.  .  .  be sure to wear some flowers in your hair."

So, who's going to Ticketstock?

I try to make it if I can.  I've been to three or four, but missed the last one.  Both Fridays and Saturdays are a little tough.  I'd love to come tomorrow night, but  .  .  .

.  .  .  there's The Girl.

The Girl may not want to go to Ticketstock.

And I can't ditch The Girl even in the service of my crucial journalistic duties.

Well, how about Saturday?

Saturday carries with it chores during most of the day and then  .  .  .

.  .  .  The Girl will need to be fed and entertained.

On the other hand, The Girl might be OK with Ticketstock.

Something a little different.

So I'm asking myself how I might be able to meet some Confessors there. I don't think I want to just hang in one spot, and besides, I don't know what hang-likely spots there will be around the Irving Convention Center.

Tell you what: if I go tomorrow, I will wear a purple tie. If I go Saturday, I'll wear a Ragonk t-shirt under a sport jacket (and maybe an unbuttoned long-sleeved shirt, if it's chilly).  I'll probably also have a 35mm DSLR with a big honkin' flash on it.  If you see someone matching that description, just stand in the general vicinity and say, loudly enough for that person to hear, "Plainsman?" And I'll be glad to say howdy.

Whether we meet or not, have a fun, safe time at Ticketstock. Give more than serious thought to a designated driver. And thank you for shopping at My Ticket Confession.

*     *     *

LATER:  I am delighted to note that today's offering is the 800th post in My Ticket Confession.  Hard to believe.  Includes the occasional archival post, but I'll count 'em.    

Partial stable of MTC models poses for a group shot during TimeWasters' break.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

I Only Caught a Few Seconds, But I Could Swear . . .

.  .  .  that Becca is back with Stick-It-Up-Your-Tailpipe Traffic!

I'll rush to take this post down if I find out that I'm wrong.

But for those few seconds, my sinuses cleared, plaque shattered and fell from my teeth, and the fog lifted from my spectacles.

That voice, what an instrument for good on Cool Metro's roadways, and the world.

So welcome back, Becca.  If you're back.

Sunday, February 5, 2017

More Country Force, Please

Country Force, starring Ty Walker and Eli Jordan, is rapidly becoming one of my favorite shows on The Ticket -- JV and varsity.  So far it's been something of a pirate show, an ad hoc fill-in when some JV show can't make it onto the air for one reason or another.

However, yesterday we were treated to a Country Force Hall of Fame show on the late-Saturday-afternoon graveyard shift.  A really enjoyable listen on a nothingburger topic.  That's hard to do.  Giving the lads a bonus Ticket "special" to host is a step in the right direction.

In addition to finding both Ty and Eli enjoyable radio presences, I am attracted to the show because there is so little BS in it.  This is a show that gets to the sports point, has almost no time for current events, and states its positions plainly without a lot of back-filling and ass-covering and excuse-making.  On more than one of the current offerings (weekday and weekend) I'm finding my finger hovering over the PO button pretty much the entire show.

Country Force comes blowing through the speakers like a cleansing prairie wind.

CONFIDENTIAL TO THE WESTERN-HEMISPHERICAL CATMAN:   Consider jiggering the Saturday lineup to give us a regularly-scheduled CF, or add it as original Ticket content on Sunday.  Make it the go-to fill-in show when a weekday show is on vacation.

Hell, I'll sponsor the thing.

Ty Walker is never underwater.

Someday, Eli Jordan will have his own Fathead.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

I Could Kick Myself for Not Bringing a Camera

[Tight Ends photo cribbed from the Internet Web will appear clear down at the end of this thing so cubicle dwellers will have plenty of time to see it coming and avoid it.]

As you know from the last thread, I made my way to Guys Night Out on Wednesday.  Looks like I missed East Texas P1, or he missed me.  Sorry, ETP1.

I don't have anything to say about The Ticket presentation because I didn't spend any time in that room.  I had a meeting in Frisco that afternoon, so got there around 4:15 or so, and the place was already packed.  I was by myself.

Noticed something I've never noticed at a Ticket remote, which was that they were taking names at the door, apparently for people to wait for reserved tables.  That wasn't objectionable, not to me, anyway, but it did somewhat detract from the informality of the occasion.  Perhaps it's a way to control the crowd in the part of the bar where the tables are.

If so, I violated the policy because the first thing I did was to walk into the room where The Hardline was broadcasting and stroll around between the tables, see if I saw any friendly faces at a table where I might linger for a bit until either I was invited to sit down, or I asked if I could join the group if they didn't seem too put out at this strange-looking guy.  (I had a suit on from my meeting; did loosen my tie, though.)  But didn't see any likely candidates (sorry ETP1, I didn't wander too close to the broadcast), so thought I would move away from the action at least to find a place to sit.  I saw some tables with "RESERVED" signs on them, but way in the back in the far room there were a number of empty tables with no signs, so I sat myself down.

Before continuing my not-very-interesting GNO story, I pause to reflect on the Tight Ends wait staff.  I don't know -- should I feel sorry for them?  Some extremely attractive young women, some pushing the needle over into beautiful, but most dressed as revealingly as North Plano community standards will allow, and some beyond.  I'm not a prude and I derive about the same amount of enjoyment as most males in viewing a woman wearing something that approaches the borders of the naughty bits.  And I really liked looking at these young women.  Yeah, really did.  Hey, look at that one  .  .  .  .  and whoa, looka tha --    But [shaking head to clear thinking and conscience] jeez -- pasties, thongs, some items whose names I don't know, some items that appear improvised and nameless, aimed at enticing the male to stay, spend money, tip lavishly, dream foolishly.  So one line of my thinking is -- man, we haven't come very far since the Fifties as far as exploitation of women is concerned.

But the other line of thinking is that these women are volunteers.  They were not pressed into service shortly after getting off the boat.  They put in their application, they get hired, they know what they're going to be required to wear (although there didn't seem to be a particular uniform, a fair amount of improvisation seemed to be de rigueur).  They're working, working hard.  I'm guessing the P1 crowd isn't going to be too forward.  (Also guessing there's security in place.)  Some may be single mothers.  Some may be a young wife making sure that mortgage gets paid.   Others may be students.  Perhaps models.  Maybe some professional women or administrative types in between jobs or picking up some extra dough.  But whatever they are, they all gotta eat, pay the rent, buy gas, and a day like that is probably good money for each of them.  Someone is going to make money off men's unconquerable urge to self-delude, and maybe they figure it might as well be them.

So -- no judgment, just curiosity.

I will say this -- they didn't seem very happy.  Photos below to the contrary.

As it turned out, I was served by a comely blonde named Stephanie who was more modestly dressed than most.  She took my order, and she had just stepped away when I was accosted by another waitress who asked me if I just sat down at the table without putting my name in at the front.  I confessed (of course) immediately.  She told me I couldn't sit there.  OK, whatever the rules are, don't want to cause trouble or take cuts over a deserving P1 who was waiting for a table, but GNO was getting to be more of a challenge than I really cared to deal with.  I rose to try to find a spot at the bar and got Stephanie's attention to tell her where I was going, and she said "Sit down, you're fine.  It's my table."  She then sought out the other waitress and, I gather, they had a chinwag and my eviction was abated.

While the wait staff seemed rather morose, the trio of brunette Ticket Chicks who stopped by to sign me up for a drawing were very cheerful and quite attractive, all three of them.  If I'd had my wits about me I'd have interviewed them on the life and career path of a Ticket Chick, which strikes me as a great topic for a post.  I'm something of a camera guy, if not an accomplished photographer, and am almost never without some decent glass, but yesterday found me lensless.   (Phone camera busted.)   So I got nothing for you on the three lovely Chicks.  The last time I got involved with a drawing at a remote (it was purchased raffle tickets, not just a sign-up), I won several times and the grand prize of Mavs courtside seats.  See: 

This time I did not win.

Well, this was a pretty dreary entry, wasn't it?  I did enjoy just hanging out there, chatting with the Ticket Chicks, having a couple, reading.  Next time I'll try to be better prepared, maybe give you guys some better notice so we can find each other.

Not sure if I'll make Ticketstock, but I hope to stop by sometime.  Hope to see you there.  Photos liberated from the Internet (and these were some of the more conventionally revealing ones) follow the jump  .  .  .  .

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

See You at Tight Ends Tonight . . . . [[CORRECTION -- PLAINSMAN ERROR]

.  .  .  the most exploitative sports bar in North Plano. [[CORRECTION:  The birthday is today, but Tight Ends Guy's Night Out is tomorrow, Wednesday, January 25.   Thanks to Confessors East Texas P1 and Anon 1012 for pointing out my error.]]

And a very Happy Birthday to the radio station that keeps us entertained, if not exactly informed, KTCK 1301 AM and ninety-six seven FM.

Friday, January 20, 2017

Ben + Skin + Travis Frederick

Really, really good.  Forget about how Frederick's presence elevates B&S into listenability -- we're hearing a guy who will have a long broadcasting career after his football days are over.

All right, this post is a give-up.  I've been absolutely slammed and feeling very, very bad that I haven't given the faithful Confessor any fresh content in way too long.  Please accept my apologies.  I've got a contribution from a Confessor in the hopper, but I haven't even gotten to that.

So, uh, leave some comments or stuff.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Do We Have a New Ticket Announcer Man?

Heard a new voice doing the station ID this morning.  Nice voice.  No Conrad, but a nice voice.

Are we hearing the last of Conrad and those appalling, unfunny, 5th-grade-snickering-in-the-boys-room gags he's forced to recite?

I note from the archives that Conrad seemed to take a break back in July of 2014 and some of the time-sensitive promos were recorded by someone else pending his return.  But the thing I heard today was not a time-sensitive promo -- it was THE station ID liner.

So if we've heard the last of Conrad -- best of luck.  Drop me a line, why doncha?  We'll do a 20 Questions or AMA or something.

By the way:  His name is Jim Conrad, and here he is with Craig "Junior" Miller doing a bit at 2011 Ticketstock:

And Becca, good luck to you, wherever you are.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Can't Afford to Lose a Single Confessor . . .

.  .  .  so have the very safest of Happy New Years. 

I've got a topic list of articles to get to, trying to figure out which ones engage me and might engage you.

Well, after a couple of weeks, what do we think about the DryDock offerings?  The Shake Joint is pretty much a known quantity by this time and Jake and Sean are pretty polished content providers.  In general, I thought it was very good with a few fairly insignificant lapses that I chalk up to differences in taste (mine and theirs) rather than any real deficiencies.  Pretty nice little show they've got.

I really liked Jake and David Newbury on the Cowboys pregame, and I think we'll have them again tomorrow morning, although there seems to be some speculation that Jake might struggle for a timely arrival.

The wild card of the shows was Not a Podcast, their first lengthy stretch that I can recall, given the very plum PM Drive assignment, prime placement, long shows.  There seems to be two schools of thought on the show and hosts.  What do you all think?  Particulars, please, and keep it civil.  Want to hear from those who liked it, not just those who didn't.

Thanks for reading this year.  Back soon.

Saturday, December 24, 2016

The Merriest of Christmases to All Confessors -- and BREAKING: Latest Ratings No Christmas Surprise (see Comment 3)

And I am feeling so Christmassy that I extend that greeting to all of my trolls, who seem to be decreasing somewhat in number and virulence as time goes by.  May they all be visited by three spirits tonight  .  .  .  .

Been a bit of a rough year for Your Plainsman, but things improving quite a bit as year-end approaches.  Hope you and your loved ones have a lovely Eve and Day.

Enjoying your predictions and DryDock reactions, so let's keep that going.

All in the holiday spirit, of course.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Some Predictions from the Archives -- Let's Have Yours

A Google member called "Blogger" has been posting ads for porn sites on old comment threads.  Not much I can do about it than go to them and delete them.  The only upside of this is that it gives me a chance to revisit some old posts, and better, your comments.

The following predictions appeared four years ago tomorrow (December 19, 2012).  Some of them are out of date, but the Ticket has changed so little in that time that a lot of them actually still make sense (if not funny sense), so thought I'd rerun them for a giggle, as Gordon would say.  These appeared in one of my comments to a post featuring (1) my live blogging of winning of three different raffle drawings at Scruffy Duffies, including the grand prize, and (2) the predictions of a former Confessor named duckandcover.

So  .  .  .  what do you think will happen at The Little One in 2017?  I'll accept gags, serious prognostication, and naked wishes.

Here ya go:
(1) Michael Gruber, Dirk Nowitzki, Brian Cuban, and Weekend Tickerman Mitchell Kerasik will form a consortium and purchase The Ticket from Cumulus for an undisclosed sum and a ham sandwich. Grubes will assume control over station management and will permanently reassign Jeff Catlin to oversee the constant replenishment of BaD’s and Norm’s stable of interns.

(2) Gordon will permanently lose all of his endorsements when he blurts out that he’s never actually been to Raising Cane’s.

(3) Sometime in late spring or early summer, an episode of “What’s on Mike’s Mind” will air without Mike uttering a single syllable.

(4) Cumulus will announce that it’s working on improving The Ticket’s signal.

(5) Corby will join the professional marathon circuit. Will run into trouble with his first urine test when he tests negative for urine.

(6) Richie Whitt will modestly admit that yes, it’s true, he’s dating Megan Fox’s cuter sister.

(7) The Hardline will take a call.

(8) The International System of Units will announce that the frequency of the sound of Bob Sturm’s voice has been determined to vary so little from high to low that it will replace caesium-133 radiation cycles as the basis for the atomic clock upon which modern timekeeping is based. When informed of this, Bob will say: “Awesome.”

(9) The fragile edifice of host solidarity will begin to crumble when one of them casually mentions that he’s considering non-renewing his endorsement deal with All-Pro Foundation Repair to pursue other interests.

(10) Craig Rosengarden will kick George DiGianni’s ass.

(11) Craig "Junior" Miller will tragically violate Johnny Carson's "Comedy Rule of One Too Many" when, incorrectly perceiving that his self-nickname "The Joonz" has achieved widespread humor acceptance, he further shortens it to "the Joo" and is hounded off the air by the Anti-Defamation League.

(12) George Dunham will drop his opposition to fracking when the largest self-contained source of domestic methane is discovered under his vast real estate holdings in East Jeebus or wherever the hell it is he's moved off to, which BP geologists will name "the Jub Outgassing" in his honor.

(13) Outraged P1's will finally have had enough and will dognap SweetJack and haul him off to Man's Best Friend, where his irrepressibly cheerful bargain-flogging will result in his severe mauling by a pack of previously docile six-toed Norwegian lundehunds.

 Y'all have a Merry Christmas 2016, if I don't post before then, or even if I do.  -- Plainsman

Sunday, December 11, 2016

So What's the Deal with All This Tension?

And during the feelgood holidays, at that?

Let's review:

Mike Sirois v. T.C. Fleming:   T.C. holding forth at length on some aspect of coolness relating to cleats, and Sirois just flat sutting him down.

T.C. Fleming v. John Fahy:   I heard that exchange this morning at the beginning of That Certain Shake Joynt.  T.C. took his "competently produced" shot, and Fahy absolutely unloaded on him at his next opportunity, noting T.C.'s history of occasional marblemouthedness during Tickers, his BaD Radio sycophancy, and other sins.

Jake Kemp v. Unidentified Shake Joint Guy:  I missed the first few minutes of the show, but it sounded like Jake was wrapping up some fairly specific put-down of someone working on the show that morning, but I got in late couldn't identify the victim of his wrath.  Please advise if you know who it was.

Gordon Keith v. Mike Sirois: About Mike's mother, no less, and what I gather was speculation on her sexual history.  I caught just a little of this on Monte + The Machine yesterday so might not have that quite right -- corrections welcome.  (Those M+M boys do like to stir things up, don't they?)

Jake Kemp v. John Fahy:  After gently chiding his pal T.C. for his "silly" and "uncool" remarks about John, he noted that in listening to the latter's Top Ten work, he observed that Fahy would sometimes eliminate the actual punch line of the segment being featured, but sometimes include the 40-liner.   Tending to support T.C.'s judgment.

What's going on?  No idea; however, I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that the established hosts aren't likely to go anywhere for a long time unless someone retires early or dies, and you have a generation of JV that's been there a long time with no advancement.

The Ass Ceiling:  You keep these ambitious, intelligent guys down long enough with so very few opportunities to shine on-air, and the jockeying for position can become pretty intense.

Could be something else -- some event behind the scenes that's caused some lines to be drawn among The Next Generation.

I thought you'd enjoy a post that wasn't about advertising.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Please Check In with White Elephant Reactions Today

The Ticket has turned White Elephant Day into glorified round tables, since every guy is in his accustomed role as host, producer, Tickerman, etc.  More bits, that's about the only difference.

Still worth listening to, if only for the bits. 

I'm going to try to listen as much as I can, but would rather hear from you.

White Elephant Day is one of the biggest days of the year for visits to this site -- most of them, I suspect, from JV, although with JV now relegated to typical JV tasks, they'll probably check in less to see what people think of them. 

In any event, keep your comments thoughtful, please -- you never know who might be watching.


Sunday, November 27, 2016

Fred Garvin, Man About Town, on Ticket Advertising

Confessor Fred Garvin, Man About Town, emailed me some thoughts on some themes regular Confessors will find familiar.  I know not everyone is anxious to read more about Ticket advertising on this site, and most of these ads have been dissected here before, but I am very thankful, in this season for being thankful, for contributions from readers.  And Fred has some interesting takes, not all of which I share, but, hey, that's why they make vanilla and Cherry Garcia. 

But I do like the "sci-fi collectibles" line and the Jimmy John's ads featuring Ed.

Okay, okay, I'll try to give advertising commentary a break for awhile, although I may not be able to resist a new post on not-known-as-The-Bulldog Kelly McClure sometime soon.

*     *     *

I’ve got a few random thoughts on Ticket advertising.

First, do no harm: There are two Ticket sponsors whose advertisements make me want to spend lavishly...on their competitors. First is Meador Dodge Chrysler, etc. (“We simply do it better, at Meador.”) This is the satirical one: Unethical sales guy sticks the customer with exotic, needless up-charges, while the customer complains futilely, sounding vaguely like one of the grown-ups in the Charlie Brown cartoons.

ANNOYING. Not funny. Over-the-top in a way that would make Jim Carrey blush. And played way, way too often.

The second one is Del Frisco’s Double Eagle Steak House. The guy isn’t the problem. Gina Cook is the problem. (Don’t throw shoes. I know that some people like her, but she’s nails on the chalkboard for me.) And the problem is her barely contained giddiness at how funny she thinks she’s being. Each commercial, she’s on the verge of “breaking,” as they say in show biz. Breaking is normally fun for the audience, because we’re laughing, and we get a kick out of watching the talent try not to laugh, too. But it’s less fun when we’re not laughing, and instead are wondering, “Why does Gina think this is so funny?” (Side note: Gina doesn’t have the vocal timbre to say, “Crab claws...yeah!” at 75% of her maximum volume. My recommendation: Let the dude say it, or drop the line altogether.)

Now please don’t get me wrong: I love humor in advertising. I’ve found the Jimmy John’s spots (fast delivery, fast talking) amusing. And there’s the one ad with the line, “Please don’t handle the sci-fi collectibles.” But those ads are smart and know their audience. The Meador and Del Frisco ads are pedestrian and tone-deaf. Revise and resubmit, please. 

Bart Reagor, are you okay? We haven’t heard from this guy in a while, and it’s got me wondering if he decided to take a mental health break in the country. ‘Cuz those ads he was doing a while back were getting downright weird. There was this bit: “You like the Internet? Remember when we didn’t have that? Remember when we would just stare at our computer screens and wish the Internet would be invented? And then it got invented, and we all liked it? Do you remember that?” And how about the stuff where he sounds like he’s trying to talk his girlfriend out of dumping him: “I’m one of the best guys you’ll ever meet. Give me a chance. Don’t be a hater...” I sometimes wonder how many of these spots are cut with Bart speaking directly into the mirror.

Learning from your mistakes. Occasionally, I wake up in the middle of the night, screaming, thinking about that first Kelly McClure “bulldog” spot. Wow, was that bad. I did the math once, and she said the word “aggressive” 2.4 times per second in that thing. She also invited you to check out her pics online (which of course I did, purely for medicinal purposes, and while she’s lovely, the “hire me b/c I’m hot” pitch is kind of insulting). The whole campaign was in your face like whipped cream at a pie-eating contest. It also reinforced a lot of ugly stereotypes about lawyers.

Thankfully, Ms. McClure has toned things way down. I like the softer Kelly.

All I can say is, well done. Good things happen when you’re not too proud to learn.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

A Happy Thanksgiving to All Confessors

Hope it is a safe and happy one for you all and that you can spend it with loved ones other than the ones with stars on their helmets.

While I have liked hearing The Hardline this morning, I could not believe that they replayed "Thanksgiving Loves the White Man," composed and performed some years back by Corby Davidson.  I suppose they play it every year, but I've never heard it before.  Hitting a woman -- an "Injun 'hore" -- with a rolling pin and a frying pan wasn't funny in the 90's and it's not funny now. 

The Ticket lost countless timeless drops in the move to Victory but for some reason this ordure survived.

If The Musers are listening, they must be horrified that their hearty laughter at this bilge -- it was when Corby was on with them in the morning for some reason -- has been preserved for the ages.

CONFIDENTIAL TO JEFF CATLIN:  Get this piece of crap out of heavy Thanksgiving rotation.

Other than that -- pretty good little show.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

The "Stay In Your Silo" Theory Results in a Snoring White Elephant

Early reviews on the White Elephant drawing are not enthusiastic.

Interesting that Cat has required that hosts stay hosts, producers stay producers, no participation by weekend JV.

Any organization will inevitably segment itself into castes -- remember high school "cliques"? -- who tend to stick together, excluding those in lesser castes and yearning to be accepted into the greater castes.

The "silo theory" eliminates the possibility that the resulting tension will add any interest to White Elephant day.  It might end up being fun, always enjoyable to hear guys who don't hang together too much do a show.

But it will be pretty  .  .  .  white.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Wish I'd Had a Camera So I Could Have Sent the Picture to George

On Friday night I was at Klyde Warren Park to watch the simulcast of the Dallas Opera's production of "Moby Dick."

(Capsule review:  Resolutely forgettable score, bombastic and sometimes obscure libretto, but a very evocative symphonic orchestration during the non-vocal passages, and great musical and dramatic performances with some charismatic actors (Jay Hunter Morris (Ahab) is from Paris, Texas), and gorgeous and astounding stagecraft that made an impact even half a football field away on screen, worth sitting through the about-45-minutes-too-long opera.)

Jody Dean was serving as a kind of Klyde Warren Park emcee.  During the intermission, he and another person whose name I didn't catch were asking what they called "trivia questions" about the first act to (mostly) little kids and a few adults.

One of the adults was a guy named Philip.

He was wearing an old-style Ticket t-shirt.

Jody took note.  I don't recall his exact words but they were to the effect that "couldn't you have found a KLUV t-shirt?" OWTTE.  I don't recall Philip's response, but he did answer the opera question correctly.

Anyone else see this?

"Call me Trishmael."

Friday, November 4, 2016

Can You Believe That, Having Thrashed Cool Metro for Weeks with One Hidden Cost Motors Ad Starring Bob, Meador Dodge Chrysler Jeep Ram Has Ordered Another One of these Abominations?

Confessors, I've been burning the proverbial candle at both of its proverbial ends lately, barely time to do normal adult living stuff, much less compose deathless MTC articles.  I hope I'll emerge from this miasma shortly, but until then, get a new thread rolling, will you please?  Thanks.

Yr Plainsman

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Why I Hope At Least One of Terrell McClain, Geoff Swaim, or (Unlikely) Rolando McClain, Becomes An Enormous Star for the Cowboys

Time for a spot of fun.  Maybe only for me, but at least I will enjoy it.

This week The Musers took a swing at a motto Dak Prescott.  Junior got it started with "We're going Dak to the future," and George chimed in with "Once you go Dak, you'll never go back."

I've got a couple to suggest myself.  One of which will almost certainly die on this page except as a source of ridicule directed at Your Plainsman, the other of which has some chance of showing up on a poster at a game, if Jerry even allows posters in that dump.

The first one requires a bit of history, children, so sit back  .  .  .  .

There once was a major league baseball team called the Boston Braves.  The team eventually moved to Milwaukee and then to Atlanta, but in the years we care about, the post-war 40's and even into the 50's, it was the National League team in Boston.

During those years, the Braves had two superior pitchers -- Warren Spahn and Johnny Sain.  You can look them up, but for our purposes they provided the Braves with a devastating 1-2 punch at the top of the rotation.

Once, during the pennant drive in 1948, they put together a remarkable run, aided by the weather.  They swept a double header.  After two days off, there was a rainout.  Spahn came back and won, and the next day, Sain won.  Three days later, Spahn won, and then Sain won again.  After an off day, the two pitchers were designated again, and they both won again.  Together, they went 8-0 in 12 days.  We'll come back to that in a moment.

Spahn went on to have the more memorable career, but Sain was a 20-game winner four times.  He threw the last pitch to Babe Ruth in an organized game (in 1943 in an exhibition game between major leaguers managed by Ruth and a team made up of servicemen, including Ted Williams).  Ruth walked.  He also threw the first major league pitch to Jackie Robinson, who grounded out to short.

Sain died in 2006.  Spahn, who died in 2003, won 20 games or more in 13 seasons.  He's the top all-time southpaw winner with 363 wins.  He went 23-7 when he was 42, and pitched 382 complete games.  Times have changed.

But returning to 1948 and that remarkable run.  It inspired Boston Post sports editor Gerald Hern to dash off a catchy little poem:

     First we'll use Spahn
     then we'll use Sain
     Then an off day
     followed by rain
     Back will come Spahn
     followed by Sain
     And followed
     we hope
     by two days of rain.

This got shortened to the phrase (I hope) many of you will recall hearing that became the rallying cry for that 1948 team:  

"Spahn and Sain and pray for rain."

It became very famous -- Spahn later said:  "It's not so much my pitching people know, but that little poem about me and Johnny Sain with the forty-eight Braves."  It even became a commercial slogan:

The Braves won the NL Pennant that year, but fell in six games in the World Series to, of all teams, the Cleveland Indians.

What has all of this to do with The Ticket?  I began this post recalling Craig's and George's efforts to put something together in the way of a catch-slogan for this year's Cowboys.  It got me thinking and I came up with this, referencing Sean Lee, Terrell McClain, and Dak.  It's cute, but really only works if McClain rises to some kind of dominance.  After an interesting pre-season, Geoff Swain seems to have vanished, but I can hope -- his name actually works best, because I can throw an "and" in there, and it's a funnier name so I'll use that, but we may have to go back to "McClain" if Geoff never sees the gridiron, and "McClain" is really a better rhyme.  


"Sean and Swaim and pray for Rayne."

ALTERNATIVE:  "Sean, McClain, and pray for Rayne."

OK, it's a stretch.

Here's another one.

Back when the New Orleans Saints were good in the early 80's they had a rallying cry:  "Who dat?  Who dat?  Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints?"  The Neville Brothers actually recorded a song with that theme with some Saints players, shortened to "Who Dat Gonna Beat Dem Saints?"  Fans took it up as a cry of solidarity at games.  Despite its minstrel origins, the Saints even adopted it as an official slogan.

You're way ahead of me:

"Who Dak?  Who Dak?  Who Dak Gonna Lead Dem 'Boys?"  

(or "'Pokes," or "Cowboys," if we can't say "Boys" anymore, even if there's no racial implication).

[[CORRECTION:  As the Ticket Drop might say, "WELL F_____ ME!"  I don't subscribe to Sports Illustrated and so didn't know that this particular gag had already been made.  I did a search for the "who dak" phrase before writing this, and nothing popped up, so I thought there was some chance it was original.  Guess not.  Sorry.]]

Enough -- some of you might say more than enough -- of this wordplay.  I hope we have all learned something and perhaps even inspired some of you to top this (not a big challenge, I know).

Didn't like this post?  Oh, all right, here you go:

"Oh, but Plainsman, I like lots of wordplay."