Tuesday, December 5, 2017

White Elephant Listening Post -- Let's Make It a Lively but Respectful Thread



I know it's a lame redhead-related-to-elephant image, but the only other two on the entire Internet I'd already used, and they weren't choice, either.

Tomorrow (Wednesday) is the day.  Should be fun.

Look, everyone, I know everyone's favorites Corby and T.C. will be doing a show together, but let's keep thing civil, OK?  (Have you caught the reaction -- including by Corby -- on the shows when mention is made of their noon-3 partnership tomorrow?  There's a novel between the lines there.)

But there's always great stuff from the hosts doing lower-tier tasks.  Danny states he is only going to read tonight's hockey score for each of his tickers ftom 10 to 3.   I'll listen as much as I can, but as usual, you guys will have to do most of the work.  You know there will be gold, and some tension as well.

Enjoy it, Confessors.

And report.


Saturday, December 2, 2017

Mind-Loss Check -- CORRECTION


OK, Confessors.  I need to know if I'm losing my mind.  Let me know if any of you have heard this.

The Ticket is running a promo where Norm says something like:

"The Cowboys now have ten days to meticulously prepare for [short pause] Geno Smith."  Then Donovan laughs and says "Oh, yeah," something like that.  A reasonably funny observation, Norm sells it with a "wait for it" pause, and a sensible reaction from Donovan.

This morning on my jog listening to the Teebox, I heard the same promo, except it sounded like they'd edited it to substitute "the Giants" for "Geno Smith" -- no pause.  Just a declarative sentence.  But still followed by the same Donovan explosive chortle -- which now makes no sense.

But I am thinking I may have one or both of those promos wrong.

Please advise.

And if I've heard this correctly, why change the promo?  Because no one's heard of Geno Smith?

Have a fine holiday weekend.

CORRECTION:  I am in fact losing my mind, or my hearing.  I heard the promo again on "Work in Progress" this morning (another bad title -- why do the JV sometimes select self-critical titles?), and they did not edit out "Geno Smith" -- the entire phrase is "Geno Smith and the Giants."  Just heard "Giants" the time when I thought they'd edited it.

So never mind, and enjoy the redhead.
"I contact the Plainsman at ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com.  So can you!"

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Just Heard a Pretty Good Little Show on 103.3



Out driving around today.  Hit The Ticket, expecting to hear SMU football with great play-by-play by Rich Phillips.  Nope, must have been halftime.

Wandered the dial and stumbled on a show on KESN (ESPN) that kept me tuned in for the next hour or so.

Not just "a show"; they call it "The Show."  Pretty aggressive (and unimaginative) title, but it was good, kept me listening with approximate Ticket-attentiveness. 

It featured Matt McClearin (formerly paired with Scot Harrison Sundays on the The Ticket (MaSS) before the two of them decamped to Birmingham for 3.5 years (WJOX)) and DJ Ringgenberg.  They talked college football and Cowboys.

Matt the good cop, DJ the bad cop.  In a show where McClearin is the mature older presence, you know you're going to hear some snottiness, but I liked it for all that.   Ringgenberg's contempt for the Nebraska Cornhuskers was amusing after their shellacking by Iowa yesterday.  (Ringgenberg's an Iowa grad.) 
I see on Ringgenberg's LinkedIn page that he also interned for Norm from June through August 2012.  After describing his duties, he notes:  "I also prepared excellent coffee to the exact specifications of Mr. Hitzges on a daily basis.”
A highlight of the show was an interview with Charean Williams.  She was excellent, damned hard-core sportsy talk and no cutesy.  The Ticket could use a sports-media call-in expert like that; heck, could use a host like that.  Would love to hear her on with the 'Line.  She was with the Fort Worth Star-Telegram since 1999, laid off last May.   Cat should give her a call, she sounds like she'd be worth shuffling for.  Jeez, he's Ops Director for the station, he may have programmed her.  Move her on over, Jeff.

You guys may already know about The Show and Ringgenberg and Williams, but they were new to me, probably because I'm mostly Ticket-centric.   Anyway, a meaty listen and thought I'd pass it along.

Did get to hear Rich Phillips's thrilling call of the final play of the SMU-Tulane game.  Of course, most of Rich's calls are thrilling.




Thursday, November 23, 2017

Gobble Gobble


I wish all Confessors a happy and safe Thanksgiving and weekend.

And I thank all three Musers for their courage in broadcasting today.

Sorry for no live redhead today -- couldn't find anything holiday-appropriate.  It's a little NSFW, so I'm making it small.


Monday, November 13, 2017

Remember My Crazy but Deeply-Held Theory About Coercing Jerry Jones to Sell the Cowboys?


Maybe not so extremely crazy, although this version is more conventional:

Niffle Owners Could Force Jerry Jones to Sell Cowboys

We can dream.

"I don't care f_____-all about what bag of Jones DNA operates the Dallas Cowboys, but don't you dare touch that cute ginger football team manager man."

Sunday, November 5, 2017

PROGRAM NOTE: JV Dream Date

I believe I wrote a week or so back that I wanted to hear Our Man Monte and Travis Mejia do a weekend show.  If I'm hearing things correctly, I believe I'm getting my wish this fine Central Standard Sunday ("Mon-T&T," they're calling it).

Sounds good so far.

LATER:  I guess I missed a "T" -- there's a third host, one Tim with an Eastern European last name I'm not catching and not finding online -- Krajewski, maybe?  The only one I can find.  Pretty good show, good sound.   Not sure about three voices on a Sunday morning.  Not sure.  But liking it OK.  Monte in charge, that's a good.

Also, that last redhead was only up for a couple of hours before I put up that archived post, so here she is again.


Wednesday, November 1, 2017

FROM THE ARCHIVES: The Time Has Come for my Crazy Theory to Claim to be Just the Tiniest Bit Slightly Less Crazy


This will be the third time I've run this piece.  Sorry if you remember it from 2013 or 2015.  Of the hundreds of articles I've composed, I think this one was the most fun on my end.  Suffice it to say it did not gain any traction, or really much notice, on either occasion but it makes me smile to think about it so I'm going to flog the long-suffering Confessor one more time with it, as George's recent oration has brought its topic to the forefront in a way we haven't seen in these parts for awhile.
 
I have updated it in only two respects:  (1) I have linked to the video of the Monty Python Brontosaurus Theory sketch, which has nothing whatever to do with this topic and which you may usefully skip, and (2) I've noted one additional fact in support, which appears in brackets.
 
My analysis of Cowboys mediocrity is somewhat out of date, but was laser-accurate and MTC-hot as of 2013.
 
I hope you enjoy it (again, for those of you who have been with me for awhile).  Feel free to share on the electric computer system of the world of Social Mediums.
 
And Thank You for Shopping at My Ticket Confession.
 

The Time Has Come to Reveal My Far-Fetched but Deeply-Held Belief on Solving the Problem of Perpetual Cowboys Mediocrity; or, The Brontosaurus Theory

Confessors, with a title like that, I deem that you have been given fair warning that this is one of those blessedly rare Plainsman sportsy posts, wherein I demonstrate rather small knowledge about sports.  I suppose that's what comes of listening to The Ticket.

But, in honor of the entrepreneurial spirit embodied in Danny Balis (there's your Ticket connection for this post), let me ask you to put aside preconceived notions and use your imagination.  You can probably come up with some variations of what follows that may make more sense.

The conventional wisdom – and this view is held not only by me and many of you, but by an acquaintance of mine who might in fact be the No. 1 Cowboys fan in DFW, I kid you not – is that the Cowboys will not return to greatness as long as they are owned by Jerry Jones.  That the Cowboys will, in fact, get worse as his ego continues to eat away at judgment with the passing years.  Because Jerry Jones will not give up control as he struggles to cast off the shadow Jimmy and win a title for which he can claim principal credit.  And because Jerry Jones will not sell the Cowboys, their averageness-or-worse will soil that beastly stadium out there for years to come.

I grant that this is a very likely scenario.  But it is not the only possible scenario.  Let me toss out a few concepts.

Jerry Is a Very, Very Bad General Manager and Owner.  I won't spend much time on this, we all know it.  His latest machinations, castrating Jason Garrett, loading up the coaching staff with people he selects, is a recipe for failure.  It is widely accepted that 2013 is make-or-break for Garrett – but what earthly sense does it make to (1) reduce his responsibility for the offense and (2) stick him with personnel not of his choosing and then to increase his accountability?  I happen to think Garrett bears a large share of the blame for fielding offenses that apparently don't know the plays after two-plus years and that can't get them called before a half-second remains on the play clock.  Maybe Jerry has selected players of incorrigible stupidity, but more likely is that they're not prepared, or the plays require calls that are not appropriate for the hurly-burly of the gridiron, or Tony doesn't transmit the playcalls efficiently.  But if that's the way you as GM feel about the guy, fire him, don't play games for another season that do nothing more than establish the head coach's lack of authority and your own poor judgment, begging yet the further question:  What accomplished, self-respecting coach would play for the  meddlesome savant-wannabe caricature that is Jerry Jones? 

And he's a bad owner because he refuses to hire experienced professional football management, or listen to the people in his organization who fit that description.
Since we all pretty much believe that Jerry is incompetent, why do I even bother to mention it?  Because:

Jerry Jones Is So Incompetent, That in the Process of Manufacturing Year After Year of Mediocrity and Worse, Jerry Jones Is Also Managing to Embarrass Texas in General, and, in Particular, the Wealthy of Texas.   Jones is pathologically incapable of keeping his piehole zipped.  And in its unzipped state, it emits torrents of disconnected phrases, 180-degree contradictions within a single breath, and downright nonsense.  It would be tolerable and possibly even charming if he'd shown a molecule of talent for running a football team, but since he hasn't, he looks like the kind of Texan, especially the kind of rich Texan, that non-Texans like to sneer at – ignorant, arrogant, incoherent. (Although he was born in Los Angeles and raised in Arkansas.)  The kind who thinks it's classy to hang the world's biggest video screen in his stadium, so big it renders the live contest irrelevant, and to feature caged go-go dancers.  You can't tell me that his pals in whatever the Rich Guy Club is in these parts (um, I don't belong) don't cringe when they see his latest high-wire act before any nearby open mic and hear everyone, even media types who might be expected to curry his favor, shaking their heads in disbelief that this well-meaning but thoroughly deluded soul is helming the destruction of the most valuable sports franchise in the country. 

There Are Lots of Really, Really Rich People in Texas.  And when you put a few of them together, a billion here, a billion there, pretty soon you're talking about real money.  And maybe they'd rather people think of them more like J.R. Ewing, and not J.W. Jones.

Everything Has Its Price.

Including Jerry.

Ah, but you say, Jerry does not have his price.  His pride would never let him sell the team while it's down, before it does something really terrific, at least get to a Super Bowl if not win it.

I agree that Jerry will never accept market value for the team, however that may be measured (although every year there are organizations purporting to do it, including one that reported today).  

So the first step is for a bunch of these rich guys who have had enough losing and ridicule to get together and offer Jerry crazy money.  I don't know how crazy it would have to be to let Jerry claim that as his ultimate victory.  Maybe he wouldn't take it.  Maybe the crazy money would have to be so crazy that not even a consortium of the extremely wealthy would consider offering it.  I would, however, ask you to remember the difference between the price Nolan Ryan's group agreed to pay for the Rangers at the outset, and what they eventually paid after Mark Cuban got the bidding way up there.

Then what?

Creativity.

Find some way to let Jerry save face.  Make him Chairman Emeritus.  Name the stadium after him and pay him for the right to use his name.  A permanent suite at the stadium.  (With parking!)  Perhaps work something where he keeps the stadium or some piece of it.  There are all kinds of ways to compensate selling business owners.   Insist that they pay him personally millions not to take his incomparable football management skills to any other NFL team.   Give him a consulting deal and actually have meetings and let him have his say.

OK, let's say that none of this moves the old Razorback.  

There's always:

Leverage.

How do you get leverage over an ego?

Include Stephen and Jerry Jr. in the Consortium.  Is Stephen Jones the Prince Charles of DFW or what?  Waiting for His Majesty to abdicate or die.  Perhaps it would be meaningful to Jerry (in addition to the crazy money, let's not forget) to know that his beloved offspring would have some kind of management and ownership role, and that he'd still have his son's ear on matters Cowboys, even if he would have no authority.  I can imagine that the boys (!) would have some reluctance to show up with a group offering to buy the team – I'm sure they love and feel loyalty toward their Pop and might fear a family falling-out if appearing to want to oust him.  Still, there may be creative ways to involve them in a subtle and diplomatic approach that would not offend Jerry.

The Brontosaurus Theory.  But here's my gee-whiz solution, and I'm sure that there are NFL-savvy readers out there who will tell me that this could never, ever happen in a squillion years. 
 
 

But, like Anne Elk (John Cleese) who offers her theory on the brontosaurus on Monty Python's Flying Circus, this is my theory, and it is mine, and belongs to me, and what it is, too.  The next thing you will read is my theory:

This rich-guy consortium goes to Jerry – again, with their crazy money, maybe really crazy in light of this (my) theory and the thinking they want to inspire in Jerry, and they say this: 

Jerry, we have crazy money for you.  You know as sure as you're sitting there that this is easily a 30% premium over the highest valuation that any so-called expert places on this team.  You take that and walk away and you can hold your head high, laughing at your critics, knowing that win or lose, you, by the sheer force of your personality and will and balls in getting that stadium built, and, yes, winning three Super Bowls, created immense, incredible value, made this the second most valuable franchise in the world, second only to Manchester United.  Incredible accomplishment, Jerry.

You take this crazy money, Jerry.  You take it.  We'll put your name on that stadium.  Take a look at this term sheet, there's a bunch of other goodies in there, and looky here, Jerry, we're going to give Stephen and Jerry Jr. and Charlotte the opportunity to invest at a very high level and give them significant management responsibility.  You can be Chairman Emeritus.  

Take this crazy money, Jerry, and all the rest, because if you don't take this crazy money, we're going to keep an appointment that we made some months ago with Roger Goodell to discuss with him our strong commitment to putting an NFL team in Fort Worth, Texas.  As you can see, it will be hugely well-financed, with a stadium – oh, Jerry, it will not be a stadium like yours – it will be a big stadium, for sure, but it will be one that people will love, a real Texas stadium, like Fort Worth is a real Texas city, like people love the Ballpark at Arlington, like people love Sundance Square that was also bought with crazy Fort Worth money.  In fact, that stadium, it'll be right near downtown -- those city fathers know how to work with businessmen.   Maybe we'll swipe Jacksonville or some other lame franchise – maybe we'll argue for expansion.  And Roger Goodell will listen, and all the other owners we've made appointments with will listen, because Texas is a football state, and DFW is a gigantic market with lots and lots of people who have given up their Cowboy season tickets and lost all faith in you, and because major and lesser markets have fielded two NFL teams at once:  New York, Bay Area. [And since this was written, Los Angeles.]  Crazy money, Jerry. 

You think your fellow owners would never allow it?  Think again.  Crazy.   And when we get that franchise -- don't you doubt us, Jerry, you know who we are -- we are going to treat our fans like royalty and we're going to get the best football people in the country and we're going to have a fracking party every week over in crazy Fort Worth over this team we're going to put together, Jerry.  Ground floor fans who don't give a bag of dirt about what your franchise did 20 years ago.  And we'll grab your fans, we'll grab your concession dollars, we'll grab your capital appreciation, we'll grab all of it and we will keep grabbing.

Because that is how we got this crazy money in the first place.  

It won't be hard. Crazy money, Jerry.  We got it.  We can get more.  

Because we're winners.  

Sign here. 

*     *     *

A bit melodramatic, perhaps.  And with a number of strategic difficulties. But God, that was fun.

Here's my point – we shouldn't assume that no circumstances exist under which Jerry would consider selling the team.  You won't know until you try.  Until you try, and let it leak that you're trying.  And I'm serious about a Fort Worth team.

So here's the plan, Confessors.  Send the link to this post to all of your billionaire friends.  Let's see, do I know any billionaires, let me think  .  .  . 

PROGRAM NOTE: GEORGE'S HOTTEST EVER HSO -- RE J JONES -- 7:55 A.M. CDT WEDNESDAY -- LATER LATER LATER: REDHEAD AMENDMENT


Prediction:  It won't be hot enough.  Maybe George's hottest, but not hot enough.

LATER LATER LATER:  Here's something hot, gay-ron-tee:



Friday, October 13, 2017

I Speak to You Today of Celeb-Sniffing, and of Corby's In Particular


This topic has been rattling around up there for awhile, and in light of the comments from the previous post about Coach Switzer's interviews with The Hardline, I thought I might unburden myself of a few thoughts.

I'm not a famous person.  (In one sense, I'm not a person at all.)  I doubt whether many of my readers are, except maybe that anonymous guy who was floridly and intemperately critical of one of my posts or comments, and who I referred to as a jamoke in my colorful rebuttal, and who subsequently asserted that if only I knew who he was, I'd know he wasn't a jamoke -- maybe he's famous.  (Ah, the private suffering of the anonymous jamoke.)

The Ticket hosts are kind of famous, but, thanks to maladroit marketing by Cumulus and its predecessors, not too.  Yes, there are the Marconis, but I doubt whether anyone in that room that night not associated with Cumulus after that third Marconi was announced could name a single one of the hosts. In general, they're not even regional celebrities.  Local, sure.

That's one of the reasons we like them, I think.  One of the reasons I do, anyway.  They're just guys sitting around talking with their voices being picked up by radio microphone devices.  In fact, they're not just guys -- doing what they do and making it sound like just guys sitting around talking with their voices being picked up by radio microphone devices -- and being entertaining in the bargain -- is a rare gift.

Corby always takes grief for the Barry Switzer interviews.  He overlaughs, he kisses ass.

I think that's OK.

First, Corby ALWAYS overlaughs at remarks that are moderately amusing throughout the Hardline showgram, and sometimes remarks that are not so amusing.  If you don't like Corby's overlaughing at only moderately-or-less amusing remarks, you can't listen to any of The Hardline (and some of you don't), but we're talking here about one particular segment.  To criticize the Switzer interviews, you have to factor out the overlaughing because it is not unique to that interview.

I'll get to the ass-kissing in a moment.

Like Barry Switzer or not, he's a fun listen.  If Corby and Mike didn't interrupt from time to time, the man would go on for the entire segment.  And I must tell you -- I don't like anything I know about Barry Switzer, which is not a lot, but I find the man very entertaining in these segments.  I caught most of the interview on the Top Ten tonight, and I thought it was terrific.  The phone story (which I assume has been told before, which Corby reprieved this time around), the Dak Prescott story -- very fun.

So that takes care of the overlaughing and the merits of the interview.

Let's get to the ass-kissing.

It is my opinion that Corby kisses no more, or, if any more, only a tiny bit more, celebrity or sports-star or presidential ass than any other host on The Ticket.

ALL of the hosts kiss the ass of celebrities who give of their time to appear on a show.  BaD builds entire bits around snaring the famous to appear on their show, and when they get snagged (obviously thinking of Guest Booking League here), they're welcomed with great warmth and familiarity.  The Musers -- same.  Norm -- holy poop.  Corby is not worse or less listenable in this regard than any other (except, maybe, when Dan annoys someone almost completely off the phone).

But -- and here's where I'll probably hear from the respectful Confessor -- I don't really consider it ass-kissing.  Say what you will about Lee Corso, and whether Dan was being a Big Jerk or not (I don't even remember what he was supposed to have done that was so awful), he was right that most of these guys come the shows for no pay because they're good guys, as Corso says, to "help out" the sportsy station.  (Sometimes, of course, they have something to hype, and sometimes they have a sponsored segment, like J Witten.)  What we may think is ass-kissing is, for the most part, common courtesy.  And it's common courtesy because our hosts are decent human beings, not themselves famous or on a par with the people they're interviewing.  They treat these busy and notable persons as they should, as having scheduled a part of their busy day, or interrupting their own private lives, to make themselves better known to us.

And besides, Confessors -- if by virtue of your position as a host on one of the most popular radio shows in the world you develop a personal relationship with a public figure you admire, would you reject that opportunity?  We're not looking to The Ticket to break big stories or dig up dirt on celebrities; we're looking for some anecdotes, some glimpse of the human behind the image.  Joshing around with the rich and famous -- The Ticket is pretty good at that, and Corby is an absolute freakin' master.  Shaq and Parcells come to mind.  Doesn't bother me a bit.

So I guess all I'm saying is that (1) I don't mind the celeb-sniffing on any of the shows, and (2) I don't find Corby any more cloyingly obvious in that regard than any other host.

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com
@Plainsman1310

I know we have some Myrna Loy fans out there.

Dan, you can be a Big Jerk with me anytime.


 




Tuesday, October 10, 2017

BREAKING: Country Force to Take 10-Noon Saturday Slot


If my deep Cumulus source is correct, I believe most Confessors will find this a welcome development.  (I never know how reliable my sources are, but this one has the ring of accuracy on the merits, so I'm going with it.)

I have enjoyed Eli Jordan's work since he emerged at The Ticket awhile back -- he'll even sit in with Rick Arnett on The Tee Box from time to time -- but I'm especially pleased for Ty Walker.  Of course, he hosts Diamond Talk with Sean Bass, but it's great to see he's earned a permanent daylight-hours slot after his expert backwater toil at The Ticket all these years.  (I'm still waiting for someone to tell me what award Diamond Talk has won, not that it doesn't deserve to have won one, but it's right there in all the promos; you'd think someone would know.)

That leaves Sunday mornings, 8-11, to be filled.

My own listening plus comments received on this site inspire a respectful request to the New World Catman to give the very most thoughtful and heartfelt consideration to some combination that includes Justin Montemayor.

Then the Ticket world will be perfect, except for all that network programming.

Congratulations to Ty and Eli.

Hay!  Country Force, can't wait for your tractor-pull coverage.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Hardline News


First, thanks to Confessor DRW1961 for the link to the Corby story and interview:

https://sportsday.dallasnews.com/other-sports/moresports/2017/10/04/tickets-corby-davidson-reluctant-hardliner-thrived-since-forced-joined-show

The response that will get the Confessor going:   "Our whole lives are prep. But I start thinking about the next day while driving home from work, trying to piece it all together. But the whole show is in my head before noon. I've got it all planned out."

Skepticism-inducing responses aside, I think it's a pretty good interview with Corby.  He comes across likable and menschy.

Second, thanks to Confessor 1106 (two posts back) for this account of the end of E-News yesterday:  

"Corby and Danny getting each other worked up on gun control issue. Corby says to Mike, "you are awfully quiet over there. What do you think about this?" Mike responds, 'I don't think this is what people listen to us for.' Corby and Danny were both a little taken aback and they went to break almost immediately after."

Considering the response we got to the last post, think how many more emails these guys must get on this subject.  Not to mention My Leader COTA.  Email can be an unreliable barometer of listener reaction, of course, but I'll bet they've heard on the subject of excessive political coverage -- if you can call it that -- for a long time.  If 1106's account is correct, it's refreshing, and bravo Mike. 

In these dreary days of partisanship and slaughter, we need something to smile about: