Wednesday, December 30, 2015

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Look, I Know It's Impossible, but Jeebus, This Was So Much Fun I'm Going to Make You Read It Again

One of the nice things about having one's own site is that one can blow it out with some loony tunes theories and advice and speculation.  It helps if one is self-aware enough to understand when something is crazy, and this is.  

But I like thinking about it, I don't have anything much new here during Drydock, so I'm trotting it out again -- not all that dated -- from 2013:

The Time Has Come to Reveal My Far-Fetched but Deeply-Held Belief on Solving the Problem of Perpetual Cowboys Mediocrity; or, The Brontosaurus Theory

Confessors, with a title like that, I deem that you have been given fair warning that this is one of those blessedly rare Plainsman sportsy posts, wherein I demonstrate rather small knowledge about sports.  I suppose that's what comes of listening to The Ticket.

But, in honor of the entrepreneurial spirit embodied in Danny Balis (there's your Ticket connection for this post), let me ask you to put aside preconceived notions and use your imagination.  You can probably come up with some variations of what follows that may make more sense.

The conventional wisdom – and this view is held not only by me and many of you, but by an acquaintance of mine who might in fact be the No. 1 Cowboys fan in DFW, I kid you not – is that the Cowboys will not return to greatness as long as they are owned by Jerry Jones.  That the Cowboys will, in fact, get worse as his ego continues to eat away at judgment with the passing years.  Because Jerry Jones will not give up control as he struggles to cast off the shadow Jimmy and win a title for which he can claim principal credit.  And because Jerry Jones will not sell the Cowboys, their averageness-or-worse will soil that beastly stadium out there for years to come.

I grant that this is a very likely scenario.  But it is not the only possible scenario.  Let me toss out a few concepts.

Jerry Is a Very, Very Bad General Manager and Owner.  I won't spend much time on this, we all know it.  His latest machinations, castrating Jason Garrett, loading up the coaching staff with people he selects, is a recipe for failure.  It is widely accepted that 2013 is make-or-break for Garrett – but what earthly sense does it make to (1) reduce his responsibility for the offense and (2) stick him with personnel not of his choosing and then to increase his accountability?  I happen to think Garrett bears a large share of the blame for fielding offenses that apparently don't know the plays after two-plus years and that can't get them called before a half-second remains on the play clock.  Maybe Jerry has selected players of incorrigible stupidity, but more likely is that they're not prepared, or the plays require calls that are not appropriate for the hurly-burly of the gridiron, or Tony doesn't transmit the playcalls efficiently.  But if that's the way you as GM feel about the guy, fire him, don't play games for another season that do nothing more than establish the head coach's lack of authority and your own poor judgment, begging yet the further question:  What accomplished, self-respecting coach would play for the  meddlesome savant-wannabe caricature that is Jerry Jones? 

And he's a bad owner because he refuses to hire experienced professional football management, or listen to the people in his organization who fit that description.
Since we all pretty much believe that Jerry is incompetent, why do I even bother to mention it?  Because:

Jerry Jones Is So Incompetent, That in the Process of Manufacturing Year After Year of Mediocrity and Worse, Jerry Jones Is Also Managing to Embarrass Texas in General, and, in Particular, the Wealthy of Texas.   Jones is pathologically incapable of keeping his piehole zipped.  And in its unzipped state, it emits torrents of disconnected phrases, 180-degree contradictions within a single breath, and downright nonsense.  It would be tolerable and possibly even charming if he'd shown a molecule of talent for running a football team, but since he hasn't, he looks like the kind of Texan, especially the kind of rich Texan, that non-Texans like to sneer at – ignorant, arrogant, incoherent. (Although he was born in Los Angeles and raised in Arkansas.)  The kind who thinks it's classy to hang the world's biggest video screen in his stadium, so big it renders the live contest irrelevant, and to feature caged go-go dancers.  You can't tell me that his pals in whatever the Rich Guy Club is in these parts (um, I don't belong) don't cringe when they see his latest high-wire act before any nearby open mic and hear everyone, even media types who might be expected to curry his favor, shaking their heads in disbelief that this well-meaning but thoroughly deluded soul is helming the destruction of the most valuable sports franchise in the country. 

There Are Lots of Really, Really Rich People in Texas.  And when you put a few of them together, a billion here, a billion there, pretty soon you're talking about real money.  And maybe they'd rather people think of them more like J.R. Ewing, and not J.W. Jones.

Everything Has Its Price.

Including Jerry.

Ah, but you say, Jerry does not have his price.  His pride would never let him sell the team while it's down, before it does something really terrific, at least get to a Super Bowl if not win it.

I agree that Jerry will never accept market value for the team, however that may be measured (although every year there are organizations purporting to do it, including one that reported today).  

So the first step is for a bunch of these rich guys who have had enough losing and ridicule to get together and offer Jerry crazy money.  I don't know how crazy it would have to be to let Jerry claim that as his ultimate victory.  Maybe he wouldn't take it.  Maybe the crazy money would have to be so crazy that not even a consortium of the extremely wealthy would consider offering it.  I would, however, ask you to remember the difference between the price Nolan Ryan's group agreed to pay for the Rangers at the outset, and what they eventually paid after Mark Cuban got the bidding way up there.

Then what?


Find some way to let Jerry save face.  Make him Chairman Emeritus.  Name the stadium after him and pay him for the right to use his name.  A permanent suite at the stadium.  (With parking!)  Perhaps work something where he keeps the stadium or some piece of it.  There are all kinds of ways to compensate selling business owners.   Insist that they pay him personally millions not to take his incomparable football management skills to any other NFL team.   Give him a consulting deal and actually have meetings and let him have his say.

OK, let's say that none of this moves the old Razorback.  

There's always:


How do you get leverage over an ego?

Include Stephen and Jerry Jr. in the Consortium.  Is Stephen Jones the Prince Charles of DFW or what?  Waiting for His Majesty to abdicate or die.  Perhaps it would be meaningful to Jerry (in addition to the crazy money, let's not forget) to know that his beloved offspring would have some kind of management and ownership role, and that he'd still have his son's ear on matters Cowboys, even if he would have no authority.  I can imagine that the boys (!) would have some reluctance to show up with a group offering to buy the team – I'm sure they love and feel loyalty toward their Pop and might fear a family falling-out if appearing to want to oust him.  Still, there may be creative ways to involve them in a subtle and diplomatic approach that would not offend Jerry.

The Brontosaurus Theory.  But here's my gee-whiz solution, and I'm sure that there are NFL-savvy readers out there who will tell me that this could never, ever happen in a squillion years. 

But, like Anne Elk (John Cleese) who offers her theory on the brontosaurus on Episode 31 of Monty Python's Flying Circus, this is my theory, and it is mine, and belongs to me, and what it is, too.  The next thing you will read is my theory:

This rich-guy consortium goes to Jerry – again, with their crazy money, maybe really crazy in light of this (my) theory and the thinking they want to inspire in Jerry, and they say this: 

Jerry, we have crazy money for you.  You know as sure as you're sitting there that this is easily a 30% premium over the highest valuation that any so-called expert places on this team.  You take that and walk away and you can hold your head high, laughing at your critics, knowing that win or lose, you, by the sheer force of your personality and will and balls in getting that stadium built, and, yes, winning three Super Bowls, created immense, incredible value, made this the second most valuable franchise in the world, second only to Manchester United.  Incredible accomplishment, Jerry.

You take this crazy money, Jerry.  You take it.  We'll put your name on that stadium.  Take a look at this term sheet, there's a bunch of other goodies in there, and looky here, Jerry, we're going to give Stephen and Jerry Jr. the opportunity to invest at a very high level and give them significant management responsibility.  You can be Chairman Emeritus.  

Take this crazy money, Jerry, and all the rest, because if you don't take this crazy money, we're going to keep an appointment that we made some months ago with Roger Goodell to discuss with him our strong commitment to putting an NFL team in Fort Worth, Texas.  As you can see, it will be hugely well-financed, with a stadium – oh, Jerry, it will not be a stadium like yours – it will be a big stadium, for sure, but it will be one that people will love, a real Texas stadium, like Fort Worth is a real Texas city, like people love the Ballpark at Arlington, like people love Sundance Square that was also bought with crazy Fort Worth money.  In fact, that stadium, it'll be right near downtown -- those city fathers know how to work with businessmen.   Maybe we'll swipe Jacksonville or some other lame franchise – maybe we'll argue for expansion.  And Roger Goodell will listen, and all the other owners we've made appointments with will listen, because Texas is a football state, and DFW is a gigantic market with lots and lots of people who have given up their Cowboy season tickets and lost all faith in you, and because major and lesser markets have fielded two NFL teams at once:  New York, Bay Area.  Crazy money, Jerry. 

You think your fellow owners would never allow it?  Think again.  Crazy.   And when we get that franchise -- don't you doubt us, Jerry, you know who we are -- we are going to treat our fans like royalty and we're going to get the best football people in the country and we're going to have a fracking party every week over in crazy Fort Worth over this team we're going to put together, Jerry.  Ground floor fans who don't give a bag of dirt about what your franchise did 20 years ago.  And we'll grab your fans, we'll grab your concession dollars, we'll grab your capital appreciation, we'll grab all of it and we will keep grabbing.

Because that is how we got this crazy money in the first place.  

It won't be hard. Crazy money, Jerry.  We got it.  We can get more.  

Because we're winners.  

Sign here. 

*     *     *

A bit melodramatic, perhaps.  And with a number of strategic difficulties. But God, that was fun.

Here's my point – we shouldn't assume that no circumstances exist under which Jerry would consider selling the team.  You won't know until you try.  Until you try, and let it leak that you're trying.  And I'm serious about a Fort Worth team.

So here's the plan, Confessors.  Send the link to this post to all of your billionaire friends.  Let's see, do I know any billionaires, let me think  .  .  . 

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Wishing All Confessors a Merry Christmas

Keep it safe out there.  May dip into the archives for the next week or so but hope to be back soon with some fresh material.  Your ideas and contributions always welcome.

A special thanks for keeping things light and clean and civil during the no-moderation experiment.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Sum Ting Wong

What's the problem with The Ticket's FM signal?  I forget exactly when I noticed this, sometime within the last week or so, but 96.7 FM -- or "ninety-six seven FM," as Ticketarians are instructed to say -- has lost its FM sparkle.

The top and bottom end of the EQ, or something, is missing, and the overall sound has an almost AM quality to it (but it hasn't gone all the way to the primitive AM midranginess fuzz of 1310).

It doesn't make the station any more difficult to listen to, but that signal now has a slight but very noticeable muted, muffled quality to it.  The clarity and resonance and overall sizzle it usually has are missing.

No big deal, but thought I'd mention it, see if anyone else noticed.

Friday, December 11, 2015

Quick Question from the Bench

I happened to turn on Ferrall last night (Thursday) around 8:30 or 9, and he was talking about The Ticket.  I wasn't near the radio when he began, so I didn't catch all of what he was saying, but I believe he may have specifically mentioned BaD Radio. 

He was talking about the Cowboys at the time, making the same point that Jerry made in almost the same words, that he was "stunned" that they didn't win any of those seven games.

Anyway, if anyone heard this, please report.  Sorry I didn't catch it all clearly.

Maybe this will make you feel better.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Saturday Morning with Rick and Craig

A couple of weekend quick hits:

I had an errand to run up north today  and it being the first Saturday of the month, I thought I would grab a young auto enthusiast relation of mine and drop by Cars & Coffee at Classic BMW.  The Teebox Golf Show (that's what they call it on The Ticket website) usually broadcasts from that event.

Never been there before.  It was quite a thing.  Huge crowd of women and (mostly) men and some amazing vehicles.  Parking was a double sawbuck, but there was no place to park -- actually, the cool older cars were kind of interspersed with the regular old parking.  I found a place where my heap wouldn't look too out of place.  I was interested in the vintage cars but my companion made a beeline for the Ferraris, Maseratis, and his favorites, the Lamborghinis.  I asked him how much he thought they cost.  He was off by a factor of about forty, so I suggested that he go with the leveraged buyout specialist as a career choice, and maybe put "Jedi" on the back burner for the time being.

I looked around for the Teebox, looked for the mast of the broadcast truck, couldn't find either.  I was looking for the usual remote setup, hosts sitting at a table, speakers blasting the show.   Then my companion saw some guys and said, "Is that the radio show?"   Sure enough, there were a couple of guys, Rick Arnett and Craig Rosengarden, with headsets on relaxing on some comfy chairs smack in the middle of the showroom with a couple of guys, an engineer and some other guy who was just kind of a guy sitting there enjoying the presentation and checking his phone.  (Craig on the left with the red cap, Rick with his back to the camera on the right.)  

[[CORRECTION:  I am reliably advised that the "kind of a guy" checking his phone isn't just any old guy, but the guy who is a good friend of Corby Davidson, the one and only Eric Maas, owner of Classic BMW.  By the way, if you haven't been there -- it's a gorgeous dealership.  Wonder what he'd take for the Conestoga.]]

A Coupla White Guys Sitting Around Talking Gahf

There were no speakers set up in the showroom to broadcast the show to the shoppers, and I wonder how many of them even knew that one of the original Day One Ticket guys (Rick) was even at that  moment broadcasting in their very midst.

*     *     *

By the way, Rick Arnett has a nice Avid Golfer blog you should check out.  Gahf and babes.  It's listed on the Ticket-Friendly Links, and here it is:  Avid Golfer Blog

*     *     * 

Did someone throw some cold water on Eli Jordan?  I was listening to a Ticker this morning and I thought -- I know this voice, but there's something different.  It was Eli, speaking in normal human tones. 

I like Eli's overheated narratives.  I hope they haven't asked him to calm down.

*     *     *

Back to Cars & Coffee for a minute:  When we drove out there was a long line of people along the Parkway.  They seemed to have a couple of banners but they were kinda crinkled up and I couldn't read them entirely, although one displayed the partial phrase "CROSS THIS LINE," as though it were some kind of demonstration.  Anyone know what that was about?

*     *     *

I may regret this, but I'm going to suspend moderation and see what happens.  I was browsing some older threads and came across one where the Confessors were talking about moderation.  Some liked it, but a thin majority didn't.  So I thought I'd take off the leash and see if the dog stayed close.

Take it easy, Confessors.  I derive no joy from deleting comments.  The Rules of the Confessional remain in effect:  READ 'EM HERE

Comment moderation suspended (for now).

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

If This is Wed., It Must Be WED // BREAKING: Enhanced Babe Elephant Photo

Okay, Confessors, let's get some real-time reactions to White Elephant Day.

Bob, Norm Craig, Sirois have been great so far.  May have to leave the Philco on all day today, hide from the field chief.

Sirois's hep-cat beatnik poem is cracking me up.

I will try to check comments frequently to get stuff up right away.

*     *     *

BREAKING:  You have perceived that I try to match ginger photos with the theme of the post.  Not always possible, never easy.  Try Googling "gorgeous redhead with elephant" and see what you get. Help has arrived in the form of an email from Confessor The Road Not Taken, who offers this replacement for the kind of girl-next-door photo above.

Thank you, Road.

Monday, November 30, 2015

BREAKING: Gordon Keith Wins Major Journalism Award

I don't know if he'll receive a leg lamp, but this is still pretty cool:

Gordon was awarded First Place for General Interest Column Writing in the annual Best of the West Journalism Competition.

From the Best of the West website:

Gordon Keith takes first place for his portfolio of columns, including “Shell of a former self,” “Missing the mark,” and “Slow dancing in their dreams.”

“Gordon Keith of The Dallas Morning News took my breath away. The heart of his stories beat lively in a reader’s mind. He distills the larger-world experience of being human – public ridicule, failing health, loss of a mother – through storytelling zest and insightful facts. His use of dialogue in columns – a man’s slow paralysis, or why Keith’s mother saved a shell from his boyhood – consistently hits an emotional bullseye,” the judge wrote.

The website also features a photograph of a shell that illustrated the piece about his mother.

Hope we hear more about this on The Musers tomorrow (if it was on today, I missed it).

Congratulations to Gordon.   He just missed the Pulitzer brass ring last year, and it would come as no surprise to see that honor following on this one in the not-too-distant future. 

Thursday, November 26, 2015


A quick one for for you:

The Hardline is great this morning.  Funny, sharp, goofy.  Not smarmy, not snarky in the snide way that has sometimes wears.

I'm thinking:  Maybe the reason the Hardline has declined is that Mike is just tired by the time 3 PM rolls around.  Maybe the show would be better if he were operating on the front end of a good night's rest.

There is no chance of this, of course.  But they started talking about the sound of today's show and remarked that the show this morning was as silly as it ever gets, and they weren't talking about it like it was a good thing.

"Silly" may not be the right word for "good Hardline," but there is a patina of craziness on the showgram today that has been missing from the PM drive for awhile now.  I wish they could feel that and get that spark into the sundown hours.

Although I could have done without the rerun of "Thanksgiving Loves the White Man" and the references to violence against women.  At least they remarked on it with some remorse.  And no, the times weren't "different" when Corby wrote it.

Anyway, a good listen today.  Wish they could bottle that goofiness and uncork it afternoons.

Have a thankful day and don't drink and drive.

"If you see two of me, pilgrim, I'll take those keys."

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Sorry and Thanks

I've been neglectful of the site, although trying quickly to review and approve (most) comments.  Working every day and evenings, just hard to get away from the plow long enough to get something worthy up for the Confessor.  Regrets.

So I'll just freshen up the thread with a giving of thanks to everyone who continues to tune in and keep the hits at historically high levels.  Thanks also to the faithful corps of those who post comments suitable for publication.

Hope to be back with something of interest soon.

"I'm getting pretty sick of these lame MTC posts.  This site doesn't liven up pretty soon I'm going somewhere more .  .  .  Red."

My only Great Thought for the day is:

I'm trying to remember if Gordon has always mispronounced "Hitgzes" as "Hitchges," or if that is only a recent thing.  I didn't think Gordon had been getting it wrong, but I could be misremembering.  But if I'm correct that he's now adopted George's scandalous and long-standing mispronunciation of the beloved senior host's name -- bit or not? Remember, we're talking about Gordon here.

Thanks again, and all of you guys and dolls be safe.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Sunday Morning Quick Hit

Yow.  Jake and Sean are really on it this morning with their 7 AM start. 

You may disagree with what one or both of them is saying or how they're saying it, but it is sharp, solid conversation and no punches pulled -- including a few jabs at one another.  Good radio.

We all need to step back before launching bombs.  I include myself in this caution.  One can disagree with what a host says but before we issue an opinion that isn't tied to something in particular we've heard on a showgram, at least consider whether it's thought-provoking, entertaining radio -- whether you'd rather be listening to, or doing, something other than listening to The Little One. 

I punch out sometimes during the week or JV time when I think things are getting a little too fatuous or smug or repetitive, but I almost always re-punch before too much time has passed.  I've sampled the competition -- in fact, I'm thinking of doing a multi-week Ben & Skin immersion and reporting -- but I think it's very difficult to deny that The Ticket, for all its occasional sour notes, is still the greatest radio any of us has ever heard.

Even with bedhead, it's worth getting up early to listen to That Shake Joint Thang.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015


Confessor Brad Gilbert somewhat anticipated this topic in his comment to the last post so thought I would go ahead and throw it up here.

Every once in a while you will hear something on The Ticket that will make you go "hmm, is this sincere or are they (or "is he") doing a bit?" 

The most recent puzzler is the series of ads featuring the hosts claiming to be P1s, swearing that they listen all the time and even identifying some favorite segments.

There are several possibilities here:

It could be sincere, more or less, in its entirety.  It would not be hard to believe that hosts tuned into the station during their listening time, in the car, doing whatever it is they do when they can also be listening to the radio.

The first thing that struck me as odd was Mike's statement that he simply had to tune in to the 8:40 bit everyday.  Had some trouble picturing Mike up that early, and if so, targeting that particular segment.  Still, made some sense.  Could be we are supposed to take it entirely seriously.

It should come as no surprise that Dan is the one most obviously lying -- in a way intended to be amusing, of course, and it is.  His first clue is actually somewhat sly, as he identifies the Muser segment in question as "Gordon's [not 'Gordo's] Corner."  This is clever – it is just the most subtle hint that he is pretending to know about a segment that he in fact never listens to as evidenced by getting the name just a little bit wrong.  In the one I heard this morning, he describes Junior's "Top Five/Bottom Five" lists as the most important thing ever on radio.

Bob gets into the act by expressing uncertainty as to whether Gordon has an Observation "Deck" or "Desk."

And yet we have Norm, George, and Craig more or less playing it straight in their claims of actually listening to the station.

Yes, I know this is a repeat. 

So what we're left with is a promotion that pretty much undercuts itself.  With Bob and Dan being funny, it calls into question whether all of the lavish mutual admiration is sarcastic.

This really isn't intended to be a criticism; I get a kick out of the commercials, and Dan's remarks are amusing.  But the schizophrenic message robs the spot of any kind of persuasive power. 

On balance, though, I think the ad was intended to be sincere and that we are intended to believe that the hosts tune in to one another with regularity throughout the listening day.  So while the spot is not effective in conveying this message, my vote on this one is:

Not a Bit.

Friday, October 30, 2015

BREAKING: The Ratings Go Up, the Ratings Go Down

Thanks to Anonymous 718 for passing along the latest ratings in a comment to the last post:

October Sports Radio Ratings

The Ticket is still comfortably ahead overall in prime time in the prime demo.  Cat should give The Musers a nice gift card to All-Pro Foundation Repair, as they seem to be shouldering the burden of keeping The Ticket on top when everything is averaged out.

I don't know if there is much to be made about the rest of it.  I think it's fair to say that over the last several ratings periods, The Hardline and Ben & Skin are in a pretty close battle.

All of this must be viewed against the backdrop of continuing controversy nationwide over the accuracy of radio ratings since Nielsen switched to the personal people meters.  (What other kind of a meter would a personal meter be?)  (I wrote about the controversy in this post.)  As I also wrote in that post, The Musers' steady dominance tends to undercut the argument that the methods for measuring ratings are seriously flawed -- although I think that its much broader appeal means that it will tend to weather random ratings variations better than the other shows that don't offer as much variety.

I find The Hardline/Ben & Skin race less interesting than Norm & Donovan + Bad Radio's struggles against G-Bag Nation.  Norm & Donovan are significantly behind, while this time around the delta with BaD is about the same as between The Hardline and Ben & Skin.  I guess the jump in The Ticket's ratings at noon means some people are switching from G-Bag to BaD -- but not enough to vault BaD into the lead.

 The Hardline continues to get slagged in these pages, but as I wrote after Cat's AMA, it does seem to me like Mike is making his presence felt to a greater degree than he was there for awhile.  And it makes it a better show.   Show prep seems a little better.  Not a lot, but better.  But I do hear those Confessors who are weary of the lo-info cultural criticism that seems to have become a feature of most episodes.

I've been thinking about auditing Ben & Skin and G-Bag to see if I can discern its appeal.  My very hit-and-miss listening to Ben & Skin hasn't impressed me, but I haven't really given it a fair shot.  Maybe I'll take that up.

In the meantime, your views always welcome.

 *     *     *

A few readers need to revisit The Rules of the Confessional.   I've rejected several comments lately that were fine with the exception of entirely unnecessary shots or insults of other Confessors.  That's a deletin'.

Friday, October 23, 2015

GUEST POST: East Texas P1 Schools Superlative Corby and Mike on Texas-A&M "Hatred"

You guys know how I like it when a Confessor volunteers a piece I can use here.  Long-time responsible Confessor East Texas P1 asked some time back if he could do a piece on a Hardline segment that struck a nerve with him.  Sure, I said, would love to see it.  He cranked it out over a weekend and sent it to me and I offer my sincere apologies to him that it took me this long to get to it -- he and I both would have preferred that it have run closer to the segment he's commenting on.  Sorry, Tex.

And you have got to love a Confessor who supplies his own redhead, in this case his favorite East Texas beverage consultant and technician (who, he assures me, has given permission for her photo to appear here).  

I have edited very lightly for clarity but left it pretty much intact.  Please send your submissions to  After six years, my topic wheel needs some air.

*     *     *

On Thursday, September 30th 6:40 segment Corby took the stage about “bits going on at Texas A&M."  Evidently a regent at A&M posted a message on Facebook that the A&M/UT game should be reinstated. However, his reason was not to restore the rivalry but because UT had become a “cupcake” program and would offer a rest between the SEC schedule and A&M's current non-conference schedule.  You can find the audio here about 3:47 into the program.

I agree that all schools have the 1% - 3% of knuckleheads, whether they are students, alumni or regents, that positively “hate” the other school.  The TAMU regent who posted about the “cupcake” school was definitely wrong, maybe trying to be funny or tongue-in-cheek, and it did not work.  Corby exposited that most TAMU fans would shake their heads and be like: "Dude, shut up."  Mike, however, offered the observation that no, most Aggies were more like "hell yeah!" (my words, not his).  

This is where it turned weird, to me.  Corby (and to a lesser extent, Mike) went on a long rant about how much each school “HATED” the other and did not respect one another.

My question to Corby:  Where doe you infer this so-called hatred?  There were phrases thrown out that there was “a superiority complex,”  “no respect between the two and never has been,” and, “the hatred is so strange to me.”  And then the references to schools like Notre Dame v. Southern Cal, Ohio St. v. Michigan and even Oklahoma v. Texas, who do things right.  Give each other the “knowing nod.”

I am not a multi-generational Aggie though I have been a fan since 1979.  My daughter graduated from there, class of ’10.  My family is a mixed family, with some nieces and nephews graduating from both schools.  My brother graduated from UT.  I don’t know of any “hatred” between the schools.  I asked my daughter and her answer (and her husband’s, Class of ’09) was that it was a friendly rivalry, intense at times but nothing more or less.  There are well-entrenched opinions on both sides of the ball but that is true at all schools, not just these two, whether they be SEC, Big 12, FBS, FCS or whatever.  (Again, we'll put aside the small number of knuckleheads at any school.)

My first point of the bond between the schools would be to reference “The Burning Desire,” the documentary about the bonfire collapse.  Unfortunately, copyright protections keep most of this off the internet so I can’t post a link.  However, in this documentary, produced by A&M, the uplift and support by Texas students in the days after the collapse and preceding the game was very well recorded.  Blood drives, cancelled hex rally, Mack and Sally Brown’s support, etc.  Believe me, there was no “hate” during that week and the same feeling has continued.  Look at the respect the UT band gave A&M during halftime.  Brought everybody to tears is what it did.

Last 2:32 minutes of the Longhorn band performance.  Watch that and tell me if your allergies didn’t act up just a little.  

There was another article about the meeting of mascots.  Interesting read.  I

I think the interesting quote from this article is from Daylon Koster, Reveille VIII’s handler:  “It was a dot dot dot moment. To be continued,” Koster said. “I wouldn't say friends, I wouldn't say enemies. There was utmost respect between schools and mascots”.  Please note in the story this was in 2013.

Then there is this from 2011, 12 years after the collapse.  A UT fan left a piece of paper at the Aggie memorial to the bonfire collapse.  It references the statements made at the time by UT vice-president of student affairs at that time, Eric Opiela (also referenced in The Burning Desire).   Are we seeing a trend here, Corby?

Finally, and while this is not directly applicable to the A&M/Texas situation, I think it goes to the culture of TAMU from someone who is not indoctrinated / drinking the Kool-Aid that sometime infects A&M fans and others.  A Florida fan comes to TAMU for the first ever TAMU SEC game:

So if Corby was doing a bit, then I get it.  But I don’t think he was.  I was speaking with my brother after the Texas-Oklahoma State game about all the freshman / sophomores on the Longhorn team.  Corby and Mike opined that Texas will be back sooner than later.  As a TAMU fan I agree.  I told my brother that I did not see any quit on this team from any of the players, and the malcontents that did not like playing under Charlie Strong are gone.  As superlative Corby spoke “I don’t know when they will be back but they will be back.”  I agree, and I give it two years.  Give Charlie Strong two years and that A&M regent will be eating that “cupcake”.  (This piece was started before the TCU game but I still stand behind my opinion.) 


Yes, I want an A&M-Texas game.  As a mixed family (as noted above), Thanksgiving dinners were so much fun when half the house was for one team, half for the other.  I may be wrong, but this is how I feel it is between the majority of fans of the two schools.   I want that atmosphere back.  So Corby, come eat Thanksgiving with us.  We don’t hate.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

BREAKING: New Ultimo CTO Mary Berner Sez: "No Bankruptcy Planned."

New Cumulus CEO Mary Berner addressed Cumulus employees yesterday in a webcast.

Here's a report:

Cumulus CEO Mary Berner Addresses Employees

Her message:  The need to change "corporate culture."  Chapter 11 bankruptcy is not currently on the table.


Mike Rhyner's boss Mary Berner

Saturday, October 10, 2015

SPECULATION ALERT: I Think The Cowboys Have Leaned on The Ticket in an Act of Irrational Discriminaton Against Harmless Neighborhood Rodents

Folks, for absolutely trivial guesses about things that don't matter that concern Our Ticket, you simply have no choice but to come to My Ticket Confession.

I have been nursing this speculation since sometime during training camp, but I didn't have any evidence for my thinkings -- until I heard a piece of evidence for it this past week.

I had the feeling that something had been missing from The Musers' coverage of the Cowboys this season.

Oh hell, no point in being coy about it -- I knew exactly what it was:

The Musers have stopped referring to Cole Beasley as "The Squirrel."

I remember the day that Gordon came up with the simile last season:  "He's like the squirrel that the kids let into the house when they've left the door open," OWTTE.  I thought at the time -- that's clever and perfect.

The Musers must have thought the same thing, because they recalled this felicitous comparison in the days that followed, and began referring to him as "The Squirrel."

In fact -- and my memory may be tricking me here -- I have a recollection that they interviewed Beasley one day and asked him if he minded the nickname, and he seemed to be OK with it.

This year, I can't recall The Musers ever referring to Beasley -- who has been prominent on the field -- as "The Squirrel."

Which set me wondering if some Cowboy functionary -- or could it have been Beasley's agent? -- made a call to the New World Catman or someone equally influential Cumulo-Ticket Overlord and respectfully requested that The Ticket bury that nickname.

I didn't think much more about it until this past week, when someone -- Craig or Gordon -- referred to Greg Hardy as "Machine-Gun Couch" (probably Gordon, who had probably forgotten Hardy's name), and George said:  "I don't think that's an approved nickname for Greg Hardy."

Italics mine.

So there's my observation, and my evidence.

I fully expect someone to comment and say, "Plainsman, you are a bad P1.  I have heard Mr. Keith refer to Mr. Beasley as 'The Squirrel' several times this season." 

In which case you may regard this as a burnt post.

Monday, October 5, 2015

INVESTIGATIVE REPORT: Kelly McClure (Insert Stock Wolf Whistle Here) May Be a Great, I Mean a Really Great Lawyer . . .

.  .  .  but she doesn't seem to be referred to as "The Bulldog." 

Except possibly by herself.

And maybe not even by herself.

Except in that ad.

The Confessor is aware that Your Plainsman does what he can to protect him or her from questionable advertising claims broadcast on The Ticket.

Lately the P1 has been subjected to what has to be one of the worst, most tone-deaf ads ever to cause our jaws to drop with its awfulness.  Yes, I'm referring to the one offered by domestic relations attorney Kelly McClure, principal of The McClure Law Group. 

The most jaw-dropping aspect of which is that she believes it will appeal to "high-net-worth" men, presumably possessed of a touch of class, to make reference in her ad to her physical allure.  I'll say this – she dresses absolutely killer:

Which you can do if you charge fees to high-net-worth individuals, I guess.  As for the rest, I will leave it to the always-fair Confessor to determine.  For a woman in her mid-fifties – sure, that's worth a whistle from gentlemen of a certain age, if you like those sorts of  .  .  .  amendments.   And an impressively volumized, if dubious, coiffure.

I have heard of the McClure Law Group and I even knew that Ms. McClure cleaned up fair.  But I was suspicious of the claim that she is known as "The Bulldog."  We've all heard of "Jim Adler, The Texas Hammer" (whose moniker, truth to tell, is probably also self-created).  But I have never heard of "Kelly McClure, The Bulldog."  Or "Kelly 'Bulldog' McClure." 

So I interrogated MTC's research database, viz., Google.  A search yields zero hits for ["Kelly McClure" bulldog] other than those associated with her own website – which, oddly, also does not seem anywhere to refer to her as "The Bulldog."   Bing – from which, I confess, I have never retrieved a useful search result – and Yahoo yielded similar results. 

So if she is generally, or even a little bit, known as "The Bulldog" outside of her premises -- indeed, beyond her recent advertising -- it has escaped the notice of The Internet.

She would seem more credibly canine if she got her grammar right.  She declaims that she is "sometimes referred as The Bulldog."   She's missing a "to" in there, although I'm not going to thrash you with the explanation.  (Because I don't zackly know it.)  Maybe she used to drive bus.

Could she be known as "The Bulldog" among those in the know in the Dallas domestic relations community, which is probably one helluva tough community with all of the high-dollar marriages and divorces around here?  Sure.  She's obviously very successful, and you can't succeed in that very challenging, emotionally-charged practice if you haven't got some sand.  So if she wants to be, or become, known as "The Bulldog," fine by me.   

But if any Confessors work at the McClure Law Group, do a little experiment for Your Plainsman and drop us a report:  Next time you see her in the hallway, say "Hey, Bulldog!"  If she gives you the stinkeye, just tell her you were influenced by her memorable advertising on The Ticket.  Or you were singing the Beatles song.  Or you thought she had gone to Yale.

Gentlemen:  Let's keep the comments gracious here. 

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