Confessor Fred Garvin sent me an essay on his view of the Most Valuable Player on The Ticket, MVP as being defined -- reasonably, I think -- by him. The views Fred expresses are not necessarily those of Your Plainsman or this site.
I picked the redheads.
As always, comments are welcome. However, please refrain from ad hominem
attacks on Fred or his analysis. If you disagree, give us your reasons and, if you'd like, an alternative candidate.
I thank Fred for his contribution. Please send your own proposed post to ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com. I'll let you know if I think it's suitable or if I would like changes. You might wish to drop me a proposal for an article first,as Fred did in this case.
Many thanks.
* * *
It’s time for a
classic barroom debate: Who’s the MVP of The Ticket?
By “MVP,” I mean the
regular host—not substitute host, not weekend host, not Jake, not Danny—who brings
the most radio goodness to the table. I’m talking about the person who, if they
were to depart The Ticket tomorrow, would create the biggest void, not just for
their own show, but for the station as a whole.
In my view, there
are only three contenders: George Dunham, Bob Sturm, and Gordon Keith.
One of these we can dismiss
fairly quickly: Gordon.
Gordon is loaded
with talent. Humorist, writer, musician, impressionist (his Trump is the best
in the country), cultural commentator. He’s so
talented, in fact, that I was mildly relieved when I heard him sound a little
pitchy at Summer Bash. Because really, to be as good as he is at everything
else, and to be a handsome son-of-a-*****,
AND to be able to sing—well, that would just be cruel to those of us who
struggle to do any one thing with
distinction.
The only flaw in Gordon’s
game is that he doesn’t know sports. And that’s a big deal when you’re on a
sports talk radio station. It means that Gordon is largely MIA for important
sports conversations. What’s more, in the eight years I’ve been listening to
The Ticket, he doesn’t appear to have done anything to address this weakness.
So, as great as the Great Gordo is, he’s only going to take home the bronze.
Dunham and Sturm, on
the other hand, are the most well-rounded Ticket hosts. They’re five-tool
players. To paraphrase a line from a Ticket promo, they can do everything the
other hosts do, but the other hosts—talented though they may be—can’t do
everything Jub and Sports Sturm can do.
Ginger time out:
There can be only
one MVP, however. So, who’s it going to be? Here’s your point-by-point
comparison:
Interviewing:
Bob asks the most meandering, self-referential, commentary-laden questions in
the business. Good, interesting
questions, mind you, but questions that challenge you not to lose the thread.
George, on the other hand, keeps things simple. His questions are less
thought-provoking than Bob’s, but they cover the essential ground clearly and
quickly.
Advantage: This is a
tough one, but I’m going to give it to Bob. His interviews, though sometimes
awkward, tend to explore unfamiliar terrain, and elicit fresh responses.
Humor:
Because he’s partners with Dan, Bob’s humor is underrated. He has a
surprisingly quick wit, though, and a fine sense of when to work a joke and
when to move on. But George has another gear…impressions, polished comedy bits,
and the ability to serve as an effective straight man to Gordon, who needs good
set-ups, appropriate reactions, and just the right amount of leash. George
delivers all of that.
Advantage: George.
Bob may be naturally funnier, but George has arrows in his quiver that Bob does
not.
Sports knowledge:
Mike knows baseball, Corby knows college football, Jake knows the NBA…but
George and Bob know everything. They can talk the Big Four with ease. Bob,
though, knows soccer too. Plus, when it comes to NFL and the Cowboys, Bob
brings information and analysis to the table that you’re not going to hear
elsewhere (including from George).
Advantage: Bob. In
terms of sports knowledge, he and George are head and shoulders above most
Ticket hosts, but Bob brings more depth and breadth to the conversation than
George does.
Music: Music
is a big part of Ticket culture—making music, and talking about others who make
it. This is obviously a passion for George, but barely a passing interest for
Bob.
Advantage: George. His
knowledge of music is far superior to Bob’s. Plus, though he’s modest about his
musical abilities, I’ve seen George blow the doors off the joint more than
once. Bob, on the other hand, is the guy in the audience with you and me,
saying “Wow…”
Pop culture:
Television, movies, teacher-student sex, politics, Internet memes,
weird-but-true news stories…all of this is fodder and fair game for Ticket
hosts. Both Bob and George have a fairly chaste sensibility, and tend to shy
away from sex-related stories. (This can be difficult, as they are paired with
co-hosts—Dan and Gordon, respectively—who often fixate on things carnal.)
Beyond that realm, though, Bob seems more attuned to what’s going on in movies
and television, and willing to wade into most conversations initiated by Dan or
Jake, regardless of topic. George, on the other hand, sometimes hangs out on
the periphery of these discussions, letting Gordon and Craig drive the segment.
Advantage: Bob. He’s
more comfortable with non-sports talk than George, and more eager to engage in
it.
On-air chemistry:
I like Dan. A lot. But he isn’t a particularly generous co-host. Bob, though, works
hard to generate actual conversations with Dan, and to participate fully in
Dan’s bits. This works so well, I find myself wondering if they’re friends
outside of work. George and Craig, on the other hand—though friends of
long-standing—don’t have the same easy connection. Often, they sound like
they’re talking past each other, rather then having an authentic conversation. And George’s
impatience with Gordon’s sometimes juvenile approach is obvious.
Advantage: Bob. His
rapport with Dan seems natural and fun, which is a considerable achievement,
considering Dan’s style. George isn’t on that same level with Craig…and certainly
not with Gordon.
X-factor: Both
Bob and George seem like exceedingly kind, thoughtful, generous, humble, good men. George does a lot of charity
work, and to hear him get choked up when talking about senior citizens has,
more than once, brought a tear to my eye. (He’s not given to cheap emotion, so
you know his compassion is genuine.) He’s also quick to defend others against
Gordon’s sharper barbs.
Bob knows he won
life’s lottery—great job, great wife, great kids, great pipes—and like George,
seeks to share his blessings: by adopting a child from Honduras, by
quarterbacking the “Drop Your Pants” event, and by lifting up his coworkers.
(He invites input from Jake and TC, knowing that he’s already made it, but that
they need reps if they’re ever going to achieve what he has.)
Advantage: Neither. Both
seem like guys you’d be proud to number among your friends.
Y-factor:
George is on the air for 4.5 hours per day. Bob is on for 3.0 hours. Both are
impressive (can you imagine filling even one
hour every day, day after day, for years on end, without taking calls?). But
mathematically speaking, one is more impressive than the other…doubly so, when
you consider the time of day we’re
talking about.
Advantage: George.
***
Based on the
foregoing analysis, the application of a proprietary algorithm, and the
sprinkling of a little magic dust, your 2018 Ticket MVP Award goes to:
Bob Sturm!
Congratulations,
Bob. (And George, against this level of competition, there’s no shame in taking
the silver.)
* * *
We had a request not long ago for Maureen O'Hara.
Someone home behind those green peepers. And
she could act.
