I Would Like to Wish Craig "Junior" Miller a Very Happy 60th Birthday

A Very Happy 54th Birfday . . .

.  .  .  to Craig "Junior" Miller.

Change is Good

As we approach the 25th Anniversary of The Ticket and this year's TicketStock, I've been thinking of what I should put in this space to commemorate it.

I couldn't think of anything.

I don't have a lot of interest in Top Ticket Moments for some reason, astounding and entertaining as many of them have been.

I've been listening to The Ticket since 2004, the year I arrived in Dallas -- 15 years.  The singular fact about The Ticket during that period -- and before -- is that it hasn't changed much.  With a few changes, some of which occurred very early on, it's been the same hosts in the same time period for all those years.  Amazing, and certainly a reason for its continued success.

But The Ticket has changed, sometimes in subtle, gradual ways.  I was hoping to come up with three, but I've settled on two:

(1)  The Ascendance of The Musers and Craig "Junior" Miller.   The shows have never been ranked, but in my early years of listening I would have said, if asked, that The Hardline was the quintessential Ticket show and certainly the one most closely identified with the station.

I think that has changed not because The Hardline has declined -- I don't think it has, contrary to the views of some Confessors -- but because The Musers have continued to grow and improve.  "The Musers" is now the most prominent and celebrated show on the station and I would say that even if the ratings didn't bear me out.

And I think the rise of The Musers is because of the rise of Junior Miller, the Fred Astaire of The Ticket.  When I began listening, George Dunham was "The Commander."  You don't hear that much any more.  Instead, Craig Miller is the Judge and Lord High Executioner for station controversies, and the creator of "tiers" to rank the relative prominence of persons appearing on the station.  He is the most prominent host on The Ticket, eclipsing Mike Rhyner and even his podnuh George Dunham.

(George -- love the guy, but there came a period some years back where his interest level clearly waned.  I don't know if it was because he was building a house or building a band, but there were some segments where he simply wasn't ready to broadcast, and you could hear Junior's irritation.  Not really a knock on George -- he's still great -- but not the station leader he once appeared to be.  (And his occasional unpreparedness seems to have abated in recent years.))

(2)  The Growing Prominence and Quality of the Junior Varsity.  I credit Jeff Catlin for hiring and showcasing down-tier talent.  Yes, there have been some flameouts, some misses, some jerks, and some who just flat failed to launch, but by and large the non-daily-host on-air people are very good and getting better and better.  There's not enough room in the broadcast day to give some of them the prominence they deserve.  Too bad you can't sell enough advertising off hours to give some of these guys (and Julie) their own shows other than on weekends.  (Or can you -- while leveraging the broadcast day on the Ticket Top Ten is genius, could you do better with a live Work-in-Progress from 7-10 nightly?) 

I hesitate to name names for fear of leaving out some top-quality folks, but in no particular order, there's Justin Montemayor, Mike Sirois (honorable mention -- Cash), Jake Kemp, Sean Bass, Ty Walker, Julie Dobbs, David Mino.   (I don't count Danny Balis as JV, but he's kind of equivalent to Jake on BaD, so you could list him here too.)  Dave Lane as a cameo JV.    Hey, I'm sure I'm leaving out some real good up-and-comers, so help me out here in the comments.

(3)  The Hardline?  I said I was going to do two, but of course the show with the most wrenching change during my listening history has been The Hardline, with the separation of Greg "The Hammer" Williams a decade or so back.  Of course that's a "change," but here I'm going to offer a view which I know will be at odds with those of some long-time listeners:  I think The Hardline is in some ways a better show now than it was when HeeHoo was on it.

Yes, it is true that Mike's interest has declined and he doesn't pay a whole lot of attention sometimes.

Yes, it is true that Mike allows Corby and Danny to browbeat him when he should be putting them firmly in their respective places.

Yes, it is true that Corby is a mic hog.

Yes, it is true that the lack of show prep can verge on disrespect of the P1.

But for all that, I listen.  And I laugh more at The Hardline than at any of the other shows.  I've said it before:  Corby Davidson is the Howard Cosell of The Ticket -- he'll irritate the living bejeebers out of you, but still you tune in and (usually) don't tune out.  And I and other Confessors have observed how good he can be when he's away from the nurturing biosphere of the who-cares Hardline.

I was tired of Hammer's ignorant redneck act before he got the heave-ho, and his various issues were plainly affecting his broadcasting long before he crashed and burned.   I'll punch out on Corby and Danny from time to time (Mike isn't present or flavorful enough to excite the punch-out finger much anymore, although he's still a mesmerizing broadcaster when he's engaged -- that is, when he's got a subject that really interests him, or with a co-host who engages him), but for me, The Hardline is great entertainment and better than it was 15 years ago.

*     *     *

I'm not going to make TicketStock this year, so send your photos of TicketChicks and other watchables to:

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

*     *     *

How has The Ticket changed for you?

My World Has Been Shattered -- The End of MTC?

Craig Miller -- the one they call "Junior," sometimes "the Joonz" -- committed an error this morning.

I stared at the radio, my piehole agape.

I'm not sure I can go on.

One's existence has so few certainties in this uncertain world.  I thought Craig's freedom from error was among them.

In this, I was apparently also in error.

He corrected the error, more or less, in the next segment.  But his correction indicated that he did not understand his error.

He was reprising the flat-earth guy from the day before.  He reported that the flat-earth guy had said that the moon always shows the same side to the earth.

Craig -- excuse me, I have to go get a glass of water -- scoffed.  He said that of course we see the moon rotate and show all of its surface area to the earth.  It's why we can't always see the man in the moon, he said.

I'm thinking -- his phone must be melting.

And indeed, in the next segment, he issued a correction, but he didn't understand it.  He had been advised in the interim that the moon in fact, always does show its same side to the earth owing to a tidal phenomenon (it's called "tidal locking").  (In fact, there's a slight rotational wobble ("libration") that lets us see a little more than half of the moon's surface from the earth because its orbit is not perfectly circular.)   What froze his mind was this:  The moon's rotational period around its axis (spinning) is equal to its period of revolution around the earth (orbiting).   So what? he seemed to be saying; he still did not understand why we did not see the moon rotate so as to see all its surface.

It's because we view the rotation and the revolution at the same time from our vantage point here on terra firma.   Instead, let's expand our frame of reference -- out to the sun, for example.  (Yes, I know you can't stand on the sun.  The old joke:  "I want to be the first man on the sun."  "It's too hot."  "I'll go at night.")  Imagine you're on the sun looking back at the earth and the moon.  Now remove the earth from the picture to eliminate the distraction.  What do you see?  You see the moon rotating on its axis every 27 days and showing you all of its faces -- and it will always be full because the sun is what makes the moon shine.

Which leads us to the question of why Junior thinks that you can't always see the man in the moon.  It's not because he isn't there, having rotated out of sight -- it's because the moon's rotation with respect to the sun just described causes its phases from our vantage point on earth, so some of that always-facing-the-earth-surface disappears and reappears every month.   Or else it gets eaten and then spit back up by a space monster, I'm not sure.

I'll leave you with a fun moon fact.  The moon is the largest planetary satellite in the solar system as a percentage of the size of its planet.  It is the only natural planetary satellite in the solar system whose orbit always curves towards the sun.   That is, if you were to go way, way north of the sun's north pole and look down on the solar system, and then took the earth away and looked at the path of the moon's orbit over the course of the year, you would see that the moon's orbit would look like a twelve-sided thing where the sides curved gently toward the sun, and the corners curve more sharply toward the sun.  But none of that path would ever curve away from the sun. The earth and moon are, in effect, something of a double planet.

I'm going to go lie down.  Feeling unwell.  May be last article.

CONFIDENTIAL TO CRAIG "JUNIOR" MILLER: Come Home

Craig, as a fellow cycling enthusiast – but not in your league – I am excited about your cross-country jaunt.

As a Ticket listener, and in particular a daily Muser auditor, I am shaking with withdrawal symptoms.

Please take a right turn in Missouri – I believe I heard it said you were traveling west to east – and return to Dallas.

I am second to none in my near-worshipful admiration of Gordon Keith.  His gifts are staggering.  This site has dedicated entire months to celebrating him.

I also join all of humanity in having enormous affection for George Dunham.  It takes a special kind of talent to be one of those Sara Lee people, one of those people nobody doesn't like.

But, like many very fine things, Gordon is best savored in small portions, served at intervals that leave us looking forward to his contributions.

And George – needs a co-host.

Gordon is a noodger, a baiter, a badgerer, a ceaseless font of freshman debate tricks.  George isn't equipped to respond meaningfully.  Segments bog down before they get rolling.

Craig, I have referred to you as the Fred Astaire of the Ticket.  

"Rita, you won't believe what's coming up in Scattershooting."

 Fred dazzled us with his terpsichorean skills, but on the set he imposed discipline.  You moderate Gordon's behavior in ways George cannot do, and you also occupy air time that Gordon is now called upon to fill, which would be OK if he didn't feel the need to be "on" all the time.   Did we really like it all that much when someone tried to conduct a sincere interview with Robin Williams, or Dangerfield, or Rickles? 

So please abandon your lifelong dream of pedaling the country and come home and take care of the P1s that have made The Musers the most popular radio show in the entire world.

CONFIDENTIAL TO JEFF "USA CATMAN" CATLIN:   Doocy is not a complete solution, since Gordon – after reducing his Doocy-baiting for awhile – can't seem to let go of that bit.  But he way beats an empty chair.   Why he's vanished, I don't know.   But you've got an entire school of JV swarming around the borders of these shows, several of whom the P1 would love to see sitting in with George and Gordon, the same way Jake sits in with Bob and/or Dan.

Fix this shit, Jeff.

I know, guys, but those legs  .  .  .  .

PROGRAM NOTE: It's an All-Eli Saturday!

(1) It's starting right now on The Teebox, where Craig Rosengarden is expressly showcasing Eli Jordan in partial expiation for Craig "Junior" Miller's failure to include him in his just-published Ticket Tier Chart (see below).  Always good to hear Eli on The Teebox.

Eli was talking about how long he's been at The Ticket.  I couldn't quite parse his entire account, but he's been associated with the station a lot longer than I thought, not always in an on-air role.  This is his second stint at the station.  He said he's been on-air for three years -- I wouldn't have thought it was that long, but the old memory ain't what it used to be.

(2)  Country Force starring Eli and Ty Walker will be subbing for the Kickaround this afternoon.

(3)  From 5 to 6:30 today, Country Force will be conducting a special pre-MMA show.  I believe they will be broadcasting from The Plaza, so stop by.

*     *     *

Now, as to Junior's Ticket Tier Chart, published yesterday on Twitter.

Here it is:

TIER ONE

     Mike
     Corby
     Norm
     Donnie
     Bob
     Dan
     George
     Gordo
     Craig

TIER TWO

     Vacant

TIER THREE

     Fernando
     Big Strong Jer
     Sean
     M. Sirois
     TC
     Jake
     Danny
     Ty
     Mino
     Fahey

TIER FOUR

     Monty
     Marshall
     Letsche
     Cray Trey
     C. Sirois
     Arnett
     Rosengarden
     Welpton,
     Swift
     Moore
     Wilonsky,
     Carlos Leal
     Tony
     Blake
     Andrew
     Pete
     Charlie
     DiGianni
     DJ Mark

TIER FIVE

     Anyone whose name I don't know
     Interns

TIER SIX

     Vacant

TIER SEVEN

     Killer

*     *     *

Note the omission of the aforementioned Eli Jordan and also David Newbury.  Surely an oversight.  And surely a bit.

Other than that, I don't think I have much of a quarrel with this chart.  I would move some guys up or down depending on my likes and like-less, but in terms of the actual real objective station pecking order, I think Junior's has the right peckers and peckees.

And the biggest peckers are in Tier One.

Welpton? 

"But  .  .  .  but Cat, you  .  .  .  you told me you were Tier Zero."

Campound Talk

Only observation I have at this time is that it must be fairly close by.  They were talking about Gordon not making it by noon because he was insisting on tearing out a wall in his apartment to get a deceased rodent, but they made it sound like he wouldn't miss it by much, and he obviously didn't think it would unduly interfere with his broadcasting and radio-brotherly duties.

Water nearby -- George bringing a boat.

Probably that same place they've had it a couple of times in the past -- isn't it out in the Mid-Cities somewhere?  I forget.

Conundrum:  Fargo, or Junior Coast to Coast?

Draft Notes, Random

(1) I don't care anything about the draft and, as the Confessor knows, don't know a whole lot about sports generally.  But for some reason I always love First Night Draft Talk on The Ticket.  This year is no disappointment.  Even though you hear these guys talking about the same things in their own shows during the week, it still sounds fresh and the guys sound engaged and happy to be on call for the greater glory.

(2) Norm mentioned earlier today that he had not been feeling well and might not make it past pick 16.  I wonder if that is why he is making very much mistakes tonight.  Identifying the number one pick as someone's "sister," getting draft numbers wrong, just generally having a hard time getting more complex phrases out with any coherence.  Yow, did I just hear him call a "baby" a "bagel"?  Let's hope that's some medication kicking in. 

(3) Junior Miller is not only the Fred Astaire of The Ticket, he is also the Garrison Keillor of The Ticket, the maestro of wry, dry, observational humor and offbeat gags.

(4)  Bob Sturm is at least a regional treasure, and may well be a national treasure.  He has his issues with excessive discursion on occasion, but if you are patient there's usually a nugget before he takes the next breath.

(5)  One of these days I have to write a David Moore appreciation.  I know some Confessors don't care for him, but I think he's excellent.  Remember, he's the successor to Mickey Spagnola and Todd Archer, and he's still going strong.  I think there's room for Intentional Grounding all year 'round, don't really care what he and Big Bob decide to discuss -- that show always seems too short to me.

(6)  Not much Corby, yet.

(7)  No JV on air tonight, not counting the capsule bios they do after the picks.

"Norm, I don't come to laugh when you cover the draft.  I have the champagne and pork rinds waiting."

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com
@Plainsman1310

Junior Is Prescient Even When He Is Solely Intending to Be Amusing -- BREAKING: Sirois/Monte Update

I recall a discussion on The Musers about Tony Romo.

Junior said words to the following effect:  "I don't know if the Cowboys will trade Tony Romo or release him.  But I do know that whatever they decide to do, it will be wrong."  Not an exact quote, but you get the comedy point he was making.

Well  .  .  .  .

http://www.sportingnews.com/nfl/news/tony-romo-news-nfl-free-agency-rumors-dallas-cowboys/13ai7gveuomss1lywa66uqq9hx

I must be one of the few Cowboys observers in town who has no affection at all for Jerry Jones.  I don't think he's a nice man.  His "executive of the year" award was a joke.  Hall of Fame?  Yeah, they gave Arafat a Nobel Peace Prize, too.

I'm not one of those who thinks the Cowboys "owe" Tony Romo something, or vice versa.  And I never imputed that sentiment to the Jones family.  I never thought for a minute that any decision the Joneses would make about Romo would have the slightest whiff of altruism about it.  Nor would I expect it to.  All this "family" talk -- hs.

Once again, events seem to be bearing out the Wisdom of the Joonz.

"You can cage me anytime, TC."

 *     *     *

BREAKING BREAKING BREAKING -- Comment thread remarks on the on-air blowup by Mike Sirois against Justin Montemayor, and it's all over Ticket-related social media.  

Justin has tweeted this photograph illustrating that all is well, for public consumption at least.  And it looks sincere to me:

 

 ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

The Quick Hits Just Keep On Coming

Confessors, apologies.  I've been working seven-day weeks for awhile and when I get a few hours The Woman needs attention and bills need to be paid and other loved ones need a few things, so there you go.

But I've been keeping a few notes lately.  Thought about making each one a separate crappy post, but will go with a data dump instead.

Thanks for continuing to check in.  Come on, lads and ladies, let's get some nice civilized threads going here.  (You know, there are more female Confessors than you might expect.)

Numbered for your convenience in response:

        (1)   When Nerlens Noel joined the Mavs and missed that flight, Mike and Corby reported that they hadn't heard anything about the guy being a problem teammate at his prior port of call.  The Musers had reported earlier in the day that he had been chronically late or absent from meetings with the 76ers and frequently fined.  Of course they hadn't heard about it because they don't prepare for the show.  And today, Corby had this segment on "Beauty and the Beast" and had absolutely zero concept of what the movie was about.  One-half minute on Google would have solved that.

      (2)    Holy Christ, those Load Bearing Wall people.  (www.loadbearingwall.com.)   Gonna remove a load bearing wall for you in a way that will not make your house fall down.  And then they're going to give you a TEN YEAR WARRANTY?  So what are they warranting against?  It's gotta be that YOUR HOUSE WILL NOT FALL DOWN AFTER THEY DO THEIR WALL-REMOVAL THING.  And they warrant that that will be the case for -- TEN YEARS?  After which that warranty will expire and too bad if your house collapses around you, or whoever is so unfortunate as to purchase it from you and receive that valuable transferrable warranty for a home they may live in for decades?  Is that the worst goddam warranty you ever heard of?  All-Pro Foundation Repair guys must be splitting a gut right now.

      (3)    If Craig "Junior" Miller is going to make fun of ebonics -- and I have no problem with anyone making fun of ebonics, by the way -- he needs to get the ebonic patois right.  He will sometimes say to George and Gordon, "Let me axt you a question."  But the Community word (not universal, I'm sure, but I've interviewed many AA employment candidates who use it) is not "axt," but "ax."  (See, e.g., http://articles.latimes.com/2014/jan/19/opinion/la-oe-mcwhorter-black-speech-ax-20140119)  Now, Junior is a very sophisticated humorist, so perhaps he is deliberately getting wrong what is already wrong (conventionally speaking) as a honk who misuses AA patois -- i.e., it's a bit.  But I think he's just not hearing it right.

      (4)    My Lord Jah Almighty, the Tylock/George Eye Care jingle is absolutely hahhrrrrible.  Sounds like a bunch of schoolgirls, and the thing is way too grandiose and overproduced and LONG.  I thought the old Boothe Eye Care Lasik ads were bad -- remember his TV ad, where he has a Cowboys uniform on? -- but this one is hilariously awful.

      (5)    Many times when a Confessor has an issue, he starts with "Is it just me, or  .  .  .  . "  This one, no.  It's not just me.  What the hell is going on with The Ticket's return music?  It has gotten way, way too loud, and goes on way, way too long without a fadeout.  Hosts can barely be heard as whatever is being played goes on and on at excessive volume.  Now, I gather that at least on The Hardline, a host is in charge of selecting return music?  So not pointing any fingers, I'm thinking this has got to be some kind of new policy.  O Sainted Catman of the New World, please make it stop.

      (6)    JUNIOR MILLER, TECH SAVANT.  He predicted the early demise of the iPad -- presumably, tablets generally, shortly after their introduction.  I love my Samsung Galaxy Tab S2, use it all the time, but I'll be switched if old Joonze didn't have it right.  (TECH CRUNCH: Tablets Are Dead)

      (7)    Why isn't Gordon, whose column was short-listed for a Pulitzer at the Dallas Morning News, still doing that column?   I believe I heard him talk about maybe reviving it, which suggests perhaps it was his choice to discontinue.  Can't believe he would voluntarily give up that kind of national exposure with what was really some excellent, prize-winning work.  Anyone know the story?

      (8)    Wouldn't you think that wordsmith Gordon would have thought up a better name for his band than "The Gordon Keith Band"?

      (9)    Laughed heartily at the brief Hardline discussion on 3/9 about whether you could keep a woman occupied “all day” with frozen peanut butter in a red “kong” toy as you can a dog.

      (10)    Why is so much major Cowboys news broken by national media (Schefter, Mortensen, others) rather than local media?  Granted, sometimes their scoops are wrong (Schefter's report that the Cowboys were going to release T. Romo that Thursday a few weeks back).

      (11)   Jeez, Danny's voice is sounding worse and worse.  Constant gravel now, that former mellow Gentleman Jack smoothness is a thing of the past.  Worrisome.

      (12)   Junior is now promoting Stellar Home Theater.  A week or two ago, someone was talking about recording a series, or watching a particular series, or something, and someone was asking Junior if he were "in" on either watching or recording.  He said, in a voice filmed with doom, that he was presently unable to do so.  OWTTE.  Had to chortle.

      (13)   Last 11 times I have punched in to Monte + The Machine (aka "Not a Podcast") out running errands on a Saturday morning, I have heard, upon said in-punching, the voice of Mike "The Machine" Marshall.

      (14)    I need help.  On maybe a half-dozen occasions over the past month or so, I've punched out on the station for one reason or another.  Maybe not even something related to show content, maybe just not ready for another bunch of ads, or maybe I had some music cued up, or something.  Or maybe the lads were yammering on with more vagina talk, or teacher-student sex talk, or something else I'm tired of.  Maybe I'd arrived at a store and was leaving the Conestoga for a few minutes.  Or maybe I had gone from the car to the office to pick up my listening there.  Got a nice stereo there just for that purpose. No big deal, we all punch out for one reason or another from time to time.  But on these occasions, I FORGOT TO PUNCH BACK IN.   Last Friday, for example, I realized that I missed Junior's Scattershooting and the E-Brake, which I never like to miss. it's happened on other occasions when I was perfectly free to listen to my weekday and weekend heroes, and had a distraction of one kind or another causing a PO, and never came back.  Very concerning.  Hoping it's a phase.  Not aware of any particular disenchantment with the weekday crews, not bored with The Ticket concept or guys.  So not sure what's going on.  You ever take a subconscious break from The Little One?

      (15)   I'll leave you with this:

      It is the 90s.

      I'm in St. Louis, negotiating a deal.

      I'm at the Lambert Airport Marriott.

      More precisely, I'm at the Firehouse bar in that certain lodging destination.

      Kind of dark, smoky.  Yes, kids, there was a time you could smoke in bars.  Noisy.

      I was just kind of standing there.  Had to be sharp the next day, not carousing.

      I noticed that there was a man sitting in a chair right next to me, quiet, alone.  Just sitting there, seemed a little down.

      I looked down.

      Chuck Berry.

A Few Quick Hits

(1) Craig "Junior" Miller was on fire this morning.  He played the race card explicitly (even used the phrase "I'm going to play the race card") in arguing that the Rangers wouldn't give a black player the same chance after chance that they are giving Josh Hamilton.   Then he called Sooner quarterback Baker Mayfield a "spazz" and "spastic," not just once, but several times.  Not disputing the point -- just a little startling to hear while I'm shaving.

(2) I haven't heard much of Monty + The Machine (i.e., "Not a Podcast") lately.  I did hear some of Mike "The Machine" Marshall's post-game Mavericks work and thought it was pretty good.

(3) We now have some theories on the ubiquity of those unlistenable Meador ads.  (i) A couple of posts ago a Confessor advised that Meador had fallen off a list of -- I forget exactly, maybe the Confessor can re-post, but the thought was that it had lost a spot on a list of quality or trustworthy dealers, or something like that.  Accounts for a million ads that say nothing about the products or the price, but are all about honesty, transparency, and the like.   (ii) General Sales Manager Charlie Gray, I'm guessing, is doing all those voices and, I'm also guessing, writes the copy.  Remember the one where Charlie is talking and all of a sudden, without an obvious edit, "Bob" begins to talk?

(4)  I owe Emmitt Smith an apology.  For weeks I drove by the digital billboard going north on the Tollway not far from downtown, and I would see this ad for PlainsCapital bank.  It showed a photograph of Emmitt and what I took to be a computer-generated image of a very beautiful young woman.  I mean, I thought she was a product of the animator's art, I really did.  The legend was "Our Bank Has Swagger."  Why, I thought, would they generate some fake image to show with Emmitt?  I thought maybe she was supposed to be his banker.   Here is the photo, without the PlainsCapital logo.

I suppose a true fan would know that that is his wife, Pat.  But I didn't.  Driving by at 65 mph, with billboard-quality resolution, I thought she was CGI all the way.  Turns out no, she's just perfect.  So I apologize to both Mr. and Mrs. Smith for my crass error.  Been making a lot of those lately.

Go forth, Confessors.

Hey, Craig "Junior" Miller -- Do This

There is almost nothing wrong with The Musers.  Let me take that back.  There is nothing wrong with The Musers.  If the show were on a New York station, or syndicated, or even promoted a little, The Musers would be considered a legendary, historically important show.  As it is, it will be remembered forever by those of us fortunate enough to be able to tune in every day.  Talent, prep, pacing, tone, yuks, not afraid to steer from time to time into the mist of intellectual anarchy.  Can't beat it.

But there is something missing.

I rise on the plains at about 5:15, and by the time I feed the dog and find a handful of stale Chili-Cheese Fritos to kill off the overnight hunger, it's time for the epic Ticker by Sean Bass, formerly offered by the legendary Rich Phillips.  Nice intro for a day of sports-related broadcasting, if not actual sports broadcasting.

Some days I shave, some days I don't.  Some days I wear jeans, some days I put on a suit.

But every day, as I apply Jack Black Epic Moisturizing MP10 Nourishing Oil to my leathery puss, I ask myself:

What is the weather going to be today?

And why aren't the Musers telling me?

Why indeed?

So, Junior, here's a suggestion:

Give us some weather in the morning, maybe between 6-7, with one-sentence updates throughout the morning.  It doesn't have to be a composed bit every day.  You don't have to do your (pretty skilled) TV weatherman imitation.  Just a minute, maybe less, maybe more, depending on the circumstances, of what we can expect.  You can crib off Accuweather, Weather.com, Weatherspark, Weatherbug, WeatherUnderground, NOAA forecasts.   You can look at the radar and make your own forecast.  You can accept weather observations from texting, tweeting, emailing, or calling P1s.   You can interview professional meteorologists, academics.  You can do bits; or you don't have to.  You can be as unpredictable as the very weather gods themselves.

And best of all, Cat:  It can be sponsored.

I like Becca and her cut-through-the-phelgm vocals, but Junior, don't let her grab the glory that should be yours when it comes to giving us the weather.

Wow, it's been a long time since I advised The Ticket on how to do radio.  Felt good.

I'll be looking for my commission check.  Still waiting for the one for my advice to put The Ticket on 96.7 in the frequency modulation.

*      *     *

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

BREAKING BREAKING BREAKING: Speculation Confirmed: Junior Coast-to-Coast, 7 PM, Tonight

A Cumulus employee who spoke on condition of using a fearful Michelle Wie voice (but not Gordon) has confirmed that Craig "Junior" Miller will be plumbing the paranormal, identifying the unidentifiable, and indulging his interest in all things relating to harvesting bodily fluids on a special renegade one-off pirate-radio edition of "Junior Coast-to-Coast" at 7 PM on KTCK 1310AM/96.7 FM "The Ticket" SportsTalk Radio.

 

A Visit to Guy's Night Out, Featuring Conner Crisp

I stopped by Rock 101 Little Elm to sample a bit of Guy's Night Out.   Was able to stay for about 45 minutes, hour.

First, we need to clear something up.

Rock 101 Little Elm is the name of the venue.

But it is not in Little Elm.  

It is east of FM 423/Main Street, although just east -- and that's Frisco, despite the trademark.  If you would like confirmation of this, see The Rock 101 Little Elm Website and scroll down to check out the address.

GNO was pretty cool, I thought.  Fun venue, loved the old 70's and 80's music videos running on the screens, some video trivia all but two contestants were ignoring, grub looked good.  Great crowd.

Mike, Corby, and George discuss American Sniper

Hosts who weren't broadcasting mingled with the crowd, happy to be chatting with the P1s.  Never seen them otherwise.

Dan looked somehow healthier than I've seen him at other venues in the past.  Perhaps it was the purple lighting.  Corby looked stout, but I think it was probably just his TCU hoodie.

Unlike some other GNOs, if you were paying sufficient attention and situated yourself strategically, you could hear most of what was going on in the show.  

During the ads, one of the promo ladies ran a mini-trivia contest on the stage between two attendees for valuable prizes.  I signed up for a drawing I was assured would take place in ten minutes, but did not.  I had to leave a half-hour or so later, so I don't know if I won or not.  Or what I would have won if I'd have won.  It was a little noisy.

An early round table.

On my way out, I had a chinwag with a chap at the Ticket promo table.  The promo people had apparently dug deep, deep into the promo closet, because, other than some forlorn t-shirts, the only premiums they were offering were Craig Miller trading cards.  No one else's -- just Craig's.  They were very aged.  They featured Craig with dark hair and, on the reverse side, listed his nicknames as "Junior" and -- care to guess? -- "Professor."  His show is identified as "Dunham & Miller" -- no mention of The Musers, no mention of Gordon.  (I didn't see Gordon there, but he may have shown up later; I didn't get to hear a lot of the show after I left.)

Anyway, the promo intern was a pleasant guy, enthusiastic, eager to promote the station.  Hopeful of a shot at JV status and perhaps the big time some day.  I got his name, which is featured in the title of this post, and told him to check in.

Cat and Promo Director, keep an eye on this up-and-comer.  

Random Wednesday Quick Hits

(1)  Sometimes I think the world is divided into George people and Junior people.  Love George, no major issues, but where they differ I usually find myself on the Junior side.  This morning, for example, in the hugely underrated and sadly underheard 5:30 segment, we learned that Junior is an Amy Poehler person and George is a Tina Fey person.  QED.

(2)  The real story at KTVT is not the departure of Babe Laufenberg, but Karen Borta's departure from the 10 PM news to CBS mornings.  Very, very sad.

Quite sad indeed.

Yes, sad.

(3)  Junior made an OK case for the non-averageness of Jason Garrett today.  I dunno, man, I'm still not entirely buying it.  He didn't get the defense to behave itself.  He didn't finally get Romo to stop jumping around behind the O-line like Nureyev and option out of every play.  He didn't cut down on the penalties or finally get some of his players to learn the plays.  How do I know this?  I don't, but I surmise it because he hadn't done any of these things in his prior years here.  And I still think he's afraid of his players, lets them boss him around.   But Junior persuades me that he's OK at communicating a consistent message and walking around.

(4)  Now completely out on all "catch" talk.  Don't mind Cowboys talk generally.

(5)  Understand the "keep Dez, care less about Murray because hard to find stellar wide receivers and not so hard to find satisfactory running backs" argument.  Still  .  .  .  anyone else interested in taking a real, real hard look at giving Dez a galaxy-class contract?  Got a bad feeling about him, despite his growth on the field.   And, of course, the Cowboys' long-term maladroit cap management enters into the discussion here.

(6)  You think Cumulus would sell My Ticket Confession a booth at Ticketstock?  Anyone out there know how much a small booth in an undesirable corner of the Irving Convention Center would cost?  Any Ticket sales people reading this?  Drop me an email.

(7)  Favorite Kevin Costner movies:  "Silverado" and "Malibu Hot Summer," nka "Sizzle Beach, U.S.A."

(8)  Scattershooting, wondering why Ticketstock is returning to the Irving Convention Center.  

*     *     *

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

Rare Weird Tense Moment on the Musers

Usually the tension pops up between Bob and Dan, Mike and Corby, Norm and  caller.  The Musers are gentle.

But there was a surpassing strange moment early this morning.

I think it was the throw-away 3-minute segment before the 6 AM ads/Stick It (welcome back, Becca!)/Ticker.

Craig was talking about Robin Williams's children throwing out the first ball at the World Series last night.  Billy Crystal introduced them.  There was apparently also a nice video.  Craig said it was very touching.

Then George said -- and I wish I could transcribe the whole weird exchange, but I'll have to approximate -- "Goes to show you shouldn't do yourself in.  Could have been you out there, showing out the first pitch.  Robin Williams, big Giants fan."

Craig initially seemed to think that maybe George was making a point about not being able to see one's children do something like that, but no.  Craig, smooth operator that he is, didn't miss a beat.  But he missed a fraction of a beat, just enough to create that frisson of anticipation as to how he would react.

He said, just before going to break, "So that was the theme of the World Series last night, don't do yourself in."

George missed the sarcasm.  "Yup," he said.

Musings

Sorry I've been away.  A few notes from recent morning showgrams:

(1)  I haven't heard George as prepared or animated as he was last week when Craig was gone and he went off on a very animated rant in the 5:30 segment on high school bands.  Good to hear George excited about something.  Wished he'd packaged for a later segment, it deserved a bigger audience.  Probably made the Top 10.

(2)  I'm liking Gordon's contractor talk as contractor Randy Cody.  George is jumping in with some funny contractor talk as well.  The gag range tends to be somewhat limited, but it's a good bit.

(3)  I don't know why I found it interesting that Grey Goose Vodka is sponsoring the Dunham & Miller Open.  It's not a station sponsor, that I recall.  I guess it's not all that interesting -- but I'd think that one of the major advertisers on the station would sponsor the thing.  Is it tense when D&M Auto Leasing or All-Pro Foundation Repair or whoever calls up Sales and says, "Welp, almost time for the Open, let's talk about this year's sponsorship" and the Sales chick says "Uh, we've already sold that sponsorship to Grey Goose," and the old sponsor says, "Hey, that's my spot, how much you getting from Grey Goose?" and she tells him and he hangs up violently, indignant over the ingratitude.

Yes, I know, I know, it doesn't happen that way.  Don't leave comments telling me how stupid I am.

There have been comments lately on the surprising lack of sponsorship on the online broadcast.  And once in awhile you hear an on-air segment being sponsored by Your Mama.  Doubt it has much meaning to The Ticket's overall health, but maybe one of our radio insiders knows the dope.

(4)  Fight Night tonight.  George remarked this morning that one doesn't hear fight broadcasts on the radio today.  Junior riposted:  "You won't hear it tonight, either -- it'll be just three hours of screaming."  Which is a criticism many Confessors have about that broadcast.  Very difficult to tell what's going on, who's winning, anything.

However:  The careful student of The Ticket should pay close attention to such broadcasts.  In the same way that Ticket Round Tables can be revealing of inter-host relationships that you don't get during the normal broadcast day, the Fight Night white elephant broadcast teams also disclose some tensions and discomforts that aren't revealed during the shows.  I may listen while the Cowboys game is on, see if anything pops up.

If you go, drop us a comment with a report.  If you hear something interesting on the broadcast, ditto.

*     *     *

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

Comments are moderated.  

Don't waste your time with ad hominem attacks on Confessors or name-calling or especially impugning the intelligence, motives, or writing style of Your Plainsman.  (Actually, writing style criticisms might survive if the comment is otherwise acceptable.  Recent hate mail has not been.)   Watch the cussing.  Comments may be rejected for tone.

Where's Conrad?

It doesn't have the same ring to it as "Where's Greggo?" but I'm curious nonetheless.

Did he finally weary of reading all of that smirking promo/liner copy with the centuries-old gags?  I actually had on my stale list of articles to write that Conrad had the hardest job at The Ticket.

Who's the new guy (if he is a new guy, and not just filling in for Conrad on sabbatical)?

I'm still scrambling out here on the plains on post-vacay catch-up, but trying to re-immerse myself in The Fabulousness That Is The Ticket.

I did have to chortle at one of the comments while I was gone.  I didn't get to hear any radio last week so can't comment on T.C. Fleming's fill-in date for Gordon, but one Confessor remarked that Craig seemed beaten down by the whole thing.  I would love to have heard that.  Da Joonz has a way of letting you know his feelings about someone in a very subtle way.  I remember this particularly with the The Great Peter Gammons Experiment.  If you had just seen a transcript of those interviews, you wouldn't have thought anything amiss, but there was something about the sound of Craig's voice that said why do we need to be talking to this guy about Texas stuff, especially since half the time Gammons was on his treadmill or hiking the Urals or something while supposedly devoting his attention to the interview.  Always a fun listen.

*     *     *

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

A Few Muser and Random Quick Hits

Sorry I've been away.  Running like mad.

(1)  I think it was Junior who announced that he had discovered the perfect deodorant -- Old Spice Classic.  I laughed out loud.  I was tired of the heavily promoted sticks I'd been using and thought "hey, I used to like the smell of Old Spice aftershave [those torpedo-shaped bottles with the grey plastic cap], I'll give this a try." Got home, took off the cap, and about passed out.  It was the most potent sweet fragrance I'd ever experienced; it would stun Mike R's proverbial mastodon.  It almost embarrassed me to glide it on, but I did.  When I got out to the field, the receptionist told me I smelled nice.  So it either works or doesn't, depending on your point of view, but I imagined myself trailing vaporous hydrocarbons for the rest of the day.  I'm still using it.

(2)  A long time ago I made a note of a novel that Junior said was his favorite:  One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.  He mentioned it again on the occasion of Marquez's death on April 17.  I was also very moved by the novel; I read most of it lounging on a chaise on my uncle's patio in California one summer.  It's a wonderful read, even in translation, and I commend it to you.  Its first line is widely quoted:  "Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Areliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."  (Trans. Gregory Rabassa.)  And you're off and running.

(3)  I was tired of people, including sponsors, saying "well played" or "nicely played" as though every praiseworthy act were nothing more than a game stratagem, the first time I heard them.

(4)  The consultants may be back at The Ticket.  The Musers were making great fun of something or other in the show being an "activation event" or "event deck" or "activation event deck."

(5)  Calling Gordon Keith, calling Gordon Keith:  You, like I, am a large P1 of McDonald's coffee.  Have you found lately that stores no longer allow you to take your black coffee and go to a little stand where you may select the proper number of Splendas and half-and-half cups and complete the final preparations on your own?  They ask you what you need and put it in themselves, or give you the packets and cups which you must specify at the time the purchase is negotiated.   Come to think of it  .  .  .  I've actually encountered some bad McDonald's in the last year, orders wrong, spotty service.

(6)  In the last thread, a commenter drew our intention to a Reddit subfile dedicated to The Ticket:  www.reddit.com/r/theticket.  It's pretty cool.  I confess, it made me wonder whether this site is any longer of value.

(7)  Why are these Muser quick hits?  Because, well, it's like this.  I mean, it doesn't really mean anything, much, and I don't really have a good explanation, to be perfectly honest with you (as Corby might say a few times), but:  I've been listening to a lot more of Cowlishaw & Mosely's Afternoon Show on ESPN lately.  They finally got Cowlishaw's mic situation fixed so he's mostly audible.  Like the chemistry, like the topics, like the talk.  Like the shorter ad breaks.

AWOL

The fact is, I'm coming around on Dan McDowell.

At first, not my favorite, but my appreciation has grown over the years.  Smart.  Funny.  I'd actually like to hear him on his own show.

He did not make it to the All-Ticket golf tourney last week.

The Musers kind of glossed over it.  They mentioned that, when invited, he said he would participate, and his participation was assumed in the pre-tourney bits (the Las Vegas rankings, for example).  But he just didn't show up.  They didn't say why.  Perhaps they didn't know.

I did not hear what BaD had to say about it.  Perhaps one of you can fill us in.

Here's what I want to know:

How far did the steam jet out from Junior's ears?