FROM THE DRAFT PILE: Who Will Be the Next Ticket Guy to Strike Out for Greener Pastures?

[As of this post there have been 942 posts on My Ticket Confession.  All but a very few are original drafting, the small balance being archive replays and a couple of guest columns.  I noticed that I had 9 unpublished drafts.  I went back to look at them and was mostly amused by my errors.  But it was fun to go back and read them, and I thought I'd publish a few of them so you could be amused too.  This also has the merit of substituting for actual new composition, making up for my lack of production recently, and the difficulty I have had in finding Ticket-listening time.

This item was drafted on December 27, 2012.]

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I include in this survey any Ticket guy whose name you would recognize, whether they get much on-air time or not.

I'm not talking about getting fired, I'm talking about leaving voluntarily. 

Here's my candidate:  Ty Walker.

Ty is a pretty talented and valuable guy.  I've come to appreciate his co-hosting skills with Sean Bass, his Tickers are very skillful (if you like Tickers), and he's experienced.   I haven't always felt that way about him, but I've come around; when I catch him and Bass on Ticket Sports Weekend it's always a strong show.     I don't know what goes on behind the scenes, but for some reason the guy gets little or no respect from the shows upon which he toils, most notably The Hardline.  Whether there is a reason for that, I have no idea.  I'm not aware of any.  Yeah, the porn enthusiasm and Star Wars stuff is a little peculiar, but no more than the crotchets of any other host.

The guy is a man; he's forty or thereabouts.  If he left for anchor work elsewhere he wouldn't be giving up a plum position or big coin, but he'd be leaving behind what sounds to me like not-in-fun ill treatment he sometimes receives.  Maybe it's a bit, maybe he's OK with it, but it sounds to me like there's an edge to it. 

I've speculated on the station's odd attitude toward Ty in the past, most notably in connection with the mystery of his network assignment at the 2010 Final Four and why The Ticket completely ignored it. 

I hope he hangs on at The Little One, and I'd like to hear more of him as a host. He deserves more of a shot; at a minimum, enhanced appreciation from his colleagues. 

Unless, as I say, there's some off-mic stuff we don't know about.

Any thoughts on who might be next to bolt?  Do you agree that Ty is an asset?

[This item seems to be unfinished.  I don't know why I didn't return to it.  It sort of looks like it started out to be a list, but ended up with only Ty as the only "candidate," singular, and the last line looks like a sign-off.   I don't know who else I might have put on this list before I stopped writing it, but I'm pretty sure two others, maybe the only two others, would have been Rich Phillips and Gordon Keith.  I might have included Donovan Lewis back then.

In commenting, you may wish to speculate on who among the present lineup, including producers, weekend talent, tickerpeople, and others whose names we know, might be candidates for departure.]

MTC REPORTS -- Or, Thank You, Jason "Killer" Kellison

Awhile back Bob Sturm was flogging George DiGianni's 21 Day Makeover and Full Body Cleanse, which he said he would return to when he was feeling a little "doughy."  "Doughy" and "cleanse" are not two words I care to associate with the Admirable Bob, but I must say that I had gotten to feeling a little doughy myself.  I'm not a young chap any longer and it began to dawn on me that I couldn't continue to eat fast food and snacks and watch it burn off the next day.  I'm tallish and carry weight pretty well, but when the scale got up to 223  .  .  .  . 

I didn't need to lose a ton -- 30, 35 pounds or so would be about right.  I hadn't tried any commercial remedies except fen-phen, a way long time ago, before they took it off the market (worked great, coupla pills, the weight would come off mostly in the form of sweat and stress and a loss of appetite).  Wait, I also tried Fit Foods, which gets people to lose weight by selling them food they really don't want to eat.  Too much kale and quinoa.  Sorry.

But I must say that Jason "Killer" Kellison's ads for SOTA Weight Loss sounded pretty interesting.  I would think it would be tough to lose weight working in a show-bizzy atmosphere what with sponsor catering and grabbing food at odd hours and the like.  And that result from a guy who apparently needed to lose a lot more than I did  .  .  .  .

So I gave it a try and I'm here to give you a report.

Here's how it works:

You go in and get weighed up.  You talk to a counselor about how much weight you would ideally like to lose.  More about the counselors below.

They estimate about how long it will take you to lose the weight on the program.

They give you all the food you will need on a week-to-week basis, with two exceptions to be noted.  You get to pick the food from their "pantry":  7 "snacky" items, 21 "mealish" items, 28 total items for four eating events per day, up until evening dinner, for a week.  You'll see this illustrated below. More about dinner in a moment.

They tell you what you may eat in substitution, and how often and in what amounts, if you must stray from the strict program.  Eggs are usually a safe substitute, but there are others.  Some you may substitute infrequently or in limited amounts.

They tell you when and how often to eat it.  You are to eat a breakfast, a snack, lunch, an afternoon snack -- those are the four SOTA eating events -- and for dinner, a small serving, fist-sized, 6 ounces, of any meat of your choice -- they're not too specific on how it may be prepared, so I sneak in a couple of KFC thighs now and then -- and a couple of cups of vegetables, but not just any vegetables -- only the ones without sugar, like asparagus, broccoli, and cauliflower.   (No peas, carrots, corn, the good stuff.)  Those are the two exceptions, the evening meat (sometimes I have it for lunch instead) and some vegetables. They would also like you to have a couple of cups of vegetables for lunch, which I usually skip because it's a pain to prepare that stuff in an office.

They tell you what you may not eat -- fruits, lay off the wine and beer (modest spirits allowed, I'm a gin man myself), many other sweetie and salty carby things. Breads, potatoes, starchy things. 

And a half-hour daily of light exercise -- nothing too strenuous, nothing to trigger too much hunger but enough to get your heart rate up once a day.  A brisk walk will do, although I find that more exercise does not increase my hunger.

And then you go eat that and come back next week and weigh in and get coached up and fill your order for the next week's food.  In the meantime, you must keep a diary of everything you eat and when and your exercise and water consumption for them to review when you come in for your up-coaching.  They give you a form to use but I created my own Excel spreadsheet.  Cheating should be recorded.

Now take a look at this:  With the exception of the vegetables and meat that you supply THIS IS EVERYTHING YOU EAT FOR A WEEK up through the afternoon snack.  I've laid out a typical seven-day regimen, the four SOTA "meals" you eat up until the evening meal.

With the exception of the bars and the chips -- note you may only eat one of one of those each day -- but including the stuff in the bottles, and I guess that cereal, ALL OF THAT IS POWDER.  (Eat the cereal with half-and-half.  Surprised?  No carbs in half-and-half.)  Low carbohydrate, high-protein, powder, to be mixed with water for your meal.  You can eat any of them at any time -- that is, you don't have to have cereal for breakfast, and you don't have to have soup for lunch.  You could reverse them if you want, or have a shake for breakfast or lunch or a snack.  But not more than one chip or bar a day.

MEN AND WOMEN, IF THAT'S ALL YOU EAT UP TO YOUR EVENING MEAL, AND YOU DON'T CHEAT, YOUR BODY WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SHED FAT, AND A LOT OF IT, AND FAST.

And I did.  I lost that 30 pounds.  And I cheated a bit.  I've done two stints.  The first time I lost about 25-30, kept it off for a long time, but had a stretch of travel and vacations and other celebrations that put 5-7 back on, so I went back for a tuneup and took off another 10-15 or so.  Just finishing it up, and I am back to how much I weighed about 20 years ago and still losing.  Feel good, much more energy, and look a lot better.  Man, I feel better just walking down the hall -- I can tell I'm not hauling nearly as much suet.  I can tie my shoes without gasping for breath. I just went for a five-mile jog without working too hard when formerly I'd be stopping to catch my breath after a half-block.

Doesn't look like much food, does it?  Will you get hungry?  Possibly, but I didn't, really.  The first couple of days may see you have a pang or two, but they will pass.

The ads are accurate.  You will almost certainly lose more than 5 pounds the first week.  The rate of loss is likely to slow after that, although if you're really religious and don't cheat, you should keep losing at a good clip.  But if you lose two pounds a week, that's still double the rate you'll lose on most other programs.

The food, although not substantial, is generally palatable.  The chips and bars are good.  The chicken and beef bullion ditto.  I did not care for the chili or some of the other soups.  The pancake -- no, a terrible mess in the pan.  It refused to cook; tried it a few times.  The shakes (the bottles) are very good.  Some of the mixtures are difficult to dissolve (the cream of chicken, which, when dissolved, is perfectly good, but watch for the bergs of undissolved powder).  And at night, you can have your fish or chicken breast or meat patty or filet mignon or whatever youw ant and some vegetables (they encourage the use of butter on the vegs).  For meat, I sometimes even use zero-carb weenies (Nathan's my favorite, zero carbohydrates) or sardines/smoked oysters (ditto).  Eggs for dinner also a frequent choice.

How much does it cost?  A lot.  The more you want to lose, the longer you need to be on the program, and you have to pay it all up front -- an incentive to stay the course.  It clocks in at about $225 a week, $30-$35 bucks a day.  But remember -- they're giving you your food for most of your day.  You really do spend less on groceries (no snacks, beer, other forbidden fruits.)  They're coaching you up once a week.  And after that's over, there's free counseling thereafter.  And really -- how much do you want to lose weight, safely, without surgery?  Being fat is really, really awful and it is hard to cure.  Fat shaming is out, but hell, you know what people think about you if you're grossly unsightly fat?  And you know what you think of yourself, and of other fatsos.  And, hormonal problems aside, you're both right.  You're just fat.  SOTA gets it off quickly and safely, if not thrillingly.  Its quick results at the outset have got to be one reason people are flocking to it -- there's little waiting to see the pounds start to come off.

(There's also a machine they want you to stand on that shakes up the system a bit, but if you think it looks silly they'll confide in you that it's mostly for older adults whose joints need a little persuading.)

Ah, the counseling.  SOTA's secret weapon -- the Cute Chick Counselors.  At my location, all of the counselors are young women, or very fit and attractive women of a certain age.  You will probably see a different one each week.  And when your day to weigh in rolls around, you become very aware of NOT WANTING TO DISAPPOINT THE CUTE CHICK COUNSELORS.  Oh, no, you do not want them to see that you've cheated, because if you come in and you haven't lost anything and no cheating shows up on your food diary, they will know you are the worst kind of black liar and the Cute Chick Counselor will be oh, so disappointed.  In general, they are as Killer and Ty and others have said -- very supportive, very encouraging, nice, full of tips and tricks and recipes you will ignore because you're a guy and you're not going to do recipes or use those awful, awful no-cal salad dressings they urge you to try to add flavor.  Walden Farms, yeah, them's the ones.  And the Stevia sugar substitute for your coffee -- both lethal.  But you listen and nod your head because they're Cute Chick Counselors and you want them to approve of you.

The one problem I had with the program -- it's boring after a few weeks.  After you've lost some weight, the temptation to cheat grows.  Resist it if you can, but if you must, make it just a little.  Next day you step on the scale, you've put on a pound.  You're remorseful.  You think about the Cute Chick Counselors.  You resolve not to cheat.  You fail, a little. But not enough, and the weight will start to come off again.

One thing I wonder about the man/woman on the street is:  How does this work if you have a family eating regular meals?  How does it work if you don't have a gig that allows you to visit SOTA during their (only) daytime hours?  The weekly check-in is mandatory -- if you don't go, you don't get the next week's chow, and the weigh-in is essential to determine effectiveness.

Will it change the way you eat and live, like Killer says?  If you go to the continued free coaching, like he says he does, and I think Ty has also taken advantage of, then probably.  Me?  I have not taken advantage of the free post-program counseling, but the SOTA program has been invaluable in reminding me that the Atkins Diet had it right all those years ago -- carbohydrates make you fat.  Calories less important.  Snacks and certain foods have lots of carbohyrdates.  Find things to eat that don't have high carbs.   Eat them, not the carb things.  Eat less of them.  You'll lose weight and keep it off.  Exercise -- good for lots of things, but won't help you much with weight loss.

Being off SOTA has not stopped my craving for Chili-Cheese Fritos and the Taco Bell Combo #3 and Peanut M&Ms, but I'll tell you this -- when I was off the program, I stopped stuffing myself at every meal (felt lousy when I did), made SOTA-friendly choices at most turns, and stopped observing one of my rules, which was "When Food Is Free, You Must Eat as Much of It as Possible."  The weight stayed off for a long time, until the aforementioned serial vacations to Hawaii, Chicago, and a Wyoming dude ranch, all within about six weeks, when I departed the wagon too many times.

Nope, best to just stick with the program, eat what they give you, keep cheating really low, pay attention to the permissible substitutes, don't go crazy with the evening meal, and dream about those Cute Chick Counselors.

So I have to thank Killer for his enthusiastic and persuasive endorsement.  With a sidelong thanks to Ty and all those P1 telephone endorsers.

Speaking of Killer  .  .  .

He's been doing those ads for a long time.  They work.  They work on SOTA's target demo -- overweight men approaching middle age who watch more sports than they play.

SOTA has obviously re-upped him as time has gone by.

I think our Killer must be doing pretty well.   Thanks, man. 

Sorry, Jinj, apples are not on the list.

A Diamond Talk Question

If I have a weeknight Rangers home game on through conclusion, I sometimes flip over to Diamond Talk with Sean Bass and Ty Walker.  Always like it, always good. 

It's got to be a tough job when things aren't going well for the old Rangeroos, so I always think of them when the team puts together something of a winning streak.

And as married guys with kids running about, I'm sure it interferes with family stuff.

The promos for Diamond Talk, and the online ads, say that it is "Award Winning."  (No hyphen.)  They also say:  "the longest running [no hyphen] post game [no hyphen] show for any sport or any team in the history of Dallas Ft Worth [no hyphen, and "Fort" should preferably be spelled out, although even if it isn't, it should have a period after it] Radio."  What is it with Ticket copywriters and hyphens?

Returning to topic:   Not hard to believe that Diamond Talk would win an award, or more than one.

But what award(s) did it win, and when? 

Thanking you in advance.

BREAKING: Country Force to Take 10-Noon Saturday Slot

If my deep Cumulus source is correct, I believe most Confessors will find this a welcome development.  (I never know how reliable my sources are, but this one has the ring of accuracy on the merits, so I'm going with it.)

I have enjoyed Eli Jordan's work since he emerged at The Ticket awhile back -- he'll even sit in with Rick Arnett on The Tee Box from time to time -- but I'm especially pleased for Ty Walker.  Of course, he hosts Diamond Talk with Sean Bass, but it's great to see he's earned a permanent daylight-hours slot after his expert backwater toil at The Ticket all these years.  (I'm still waiting for someone to tell me what award Diamond Talk has won, not that it doesn't deserve to have won one, but it's right there in all the promos; you'd think someone would know.)

That leaves Sunday mornings, 8-11, to be filled.

My own listening plus comments received on this site inspire a respectful request to the New World Catman to give the very most thoughtful and heartfelt consideration to some combination that includes Justin Montemayor.

Then the Ticket world will be perfect, except for all that network programming.

Congratulations to Ty and Eli.

Hay!  Country Force, can't wait for your tractor-pull coverage.

(1) Welcome back, Monte, and (2) PROGRAM NOTE: Sunday AM Country Force

Wish I'd known Justin Montemayor was going to be returning to Monte + The Machine yesterday morning, I'd have tried to catch more of the show.  I thought he sounded real good -- a little rough, a little tired, but pretty darned good little broadcast, what I heard.

Machine seemed happy to have him back as well.  His account of he and David Mino visiting Justin in the hospital where he had his leg tucked back under him -- giving the appearance that he might have been relieved of that limb as well -- was pretty amusing.

So was their talk about the Golden Chick empire being built on the music of Ronnie James Dio.  You had to be there.

I didn't hear the first of the show so if he delivered his package of his account of his hospitalization, I'd appreciate it if one of you would fill us in.

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A long, long time since Country Force with Ty Walker and Eli Jordan got a slot.  Good to hear those boys this morning.

Grocery-cart talk very welcome.

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Liking some of these new Ticker guys.  Caleb seems like a zero-BS guy.

 

PROGRAM NOTE: It's an All-Eli Saturday!

(1) It's starting right now on The Teebox, where Craig Rosengarden is expressly showcasing Eli Jordan in partial expiation for Craig "Junior" Miller's failure to include him in his just-published Ticket Tier Chart (see below).  Always good to hear Eli on The Teebox.

Eli was talking about how long he's been at The Ticket.  I couldn't quite parse his entire account, but he's been associated with the station a lot longer than I thought, not always in an on-air role.  This is his second stint at the station.  He said he's been on-air for three years -- I wouldn't have thought it was that long, but the old memory ain't what it used to be.

(2)  Country Force starring Eli and Ty Walker will be subbing for the Kickaround this afternoon.

(3)  From 5 to 6:30 today, Country Force will be conducting a special pre-MMA show.  I believe they will be broadcasting from The Plaza, so stop by.

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Now, as to Junior's Ticket Tier Chart, published yesterday on Twitter.

Here it is:

TIER ONE

     Mike
     Corby
     Norm
     Donnie
     Bob
     Dan
     George
     Gordo
     Craig

TIER TWO

     Vacant

TIER THREE

     Fernando
     Big Strong Jer
     Sean
     M. Sirois
     TC
     Jake
     Danny
     Ty
     Mino
     Fahey

TIER FOUR

     Monty
     Marshall
     Letsche
     Cray Trey
     C. Sirois
     Arnett
     Rosengarden
     Welpton,
     Swift
     Moore
     Wilonsky,
     Carlos Leal
     Tony
     Blake
     Andrew
     Pete
     Charlie
     DiGianni
     DJ Mark

TIER FIVE

     Anyone whose name I don't know
     Interns

TIER SIX

     Vacant

TIER SEVEN

     Killer

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Note the omission of the aforementioned Eli Jordan and also David Newbury.  Surely an oversight.  And surely a bit.

Other than that, I don't think I have much of a quarrel with this chart.  I would move some guys up or down depending on my likes and like-less, but in terms of the actual real objective station pecking order, I think Junior's has the right peckers and peckees.

And the biggest peckers are in Tier One.

Welpton? 

"But  .  .  .  but Cat, you  .  .  .  you told me you were Tier Zero."

More Country Force, Please

Country Force, starring Ty Walker and Eli Jordan, is rapidly becoming one of my favorite shows on The Ticket -- JV and varsity.  So far it's been something of a pirate show, an ad hoc fill-in when some JV show can't make it onto the air for one reason or another.

However, yesterday we were treated to a Country Force Hall of Fame show on the late-Saturday-afternoon graveyard shift.  A really enjoyable listen on a nothingburger topic.  That's hard to do.  Giving the lads a bonus Ticket "special" to host is a step in the right direction.

In addition to finding both Ty and Eli enjoyable radio presences, I am attracted to the show because there is so little BS in it.  This is a show that gets to the sports point, has almost no time for current events, and states its positions plainly without a lot of back-filling and ass-covering and excuse-making.  On more than one of the current offerings (weekday and weekend) I'm finding my finger hovering over the PO button pretty much the entire show.

Country Force comes blowing through the speakers like a cleansing prairie wind.

CONFIDENTIAL TO THE WESTERN-HEMISPHERICAL CATMAN:   Consider jiggering the Saturday lineup to give us a regularly-scheduled CF, or add it as original Ticket content on Sunday.  Make it the go-to fill-in show when a weekday show is on vacation.

Hell, I'll sponsor the thing.

Ty Walker is never underwater.

Someday, Eli Jordan will have his own Fathead.

PROGRAM NOTE: BREAKING: Country Force in for That Shake Joint Thang

Starring Ty Walker and Eli Jordan.  Good stuff.

PROGRAM NOTE: Country Force (Ty Walker, Eli Jordan) in for Cirque Today at Noon

Check it out. 

Hey, Country Force, can you fix my chain?

Do You Like EJs? And a Question

(1)  Yes, I do like me some Eli Jordan.  The Ticket has some fine Tickermen, Ty and Sean and others; even T.C. is, in one sense or another, a must-listen.

But Eli sounds like nothing else on the Ticket -- nothing, that is, since the departure of Ticker God Rich Phillips.  Eli is kind of a cross between a throwback Mr. Broadcast Pipes with the staccato delivery, and a reg'lar Ticket jamoke.  His voice commands attention, which I deliver even though I have almost no interest in any of the results he's discussing.

By the way, have you caught Eli and Ty's "Country Force" fill-in show?  Pretty good little show, pretty darned good little show.  I've always liked Ty as a host and he and Eli make a pretty cool team, I thought.  Good showgram title, too.  I could hear more of that.

(2) This morning the Musers were (unfortunately) reprising the Eighth-Grade-Graduation-Presidential-Candidate-Impressions Kid.  Craig said to Gordon something like (precise recollection dim):  "You should name him as your successor, since your last designated successor was a complete failure."  And they all had a good chortle, and Craig said:  "But at least he ended up leaving and wrecking one of our competitors," OWTTE.

To whom was Craig referring?

[PS:  Any show replaying viral videos = burnt segments.]

Whither the Orphanage?

The demise of The Orphanage is regularly predicted by Confessors. I was never sure why, except that the show seemed to get under the skin of some listeners who show up here. It's been away the last two weeks. If there has been an explanation for its absence, I haven't heard it.

I only heard a bit of its replacement on Saturday. I believe it was Bruce LeVine and maybe Josh Bogorad? I didn't hear a name, but Bruce made reference to his partner, so I'm surmising. Nothing wrong with the show. Nothing distinctive, but an OK listen.

But it wasn't the Orphanage.

Some have tired of what they believe to be Danny's "act," the aging hipster music snob. Some feel that the ages have passed Dave Lane by. Some don't like the attitude, the nose-thumbing at show prep, the sometimes hung-over flavor to the whole thing.

I like all of these things, and I like The Orphanage. I would not like to see it leave the air.

But to everything there is a season, no? I am doubtful that either D or D is handsomely compensated for spending his Saturday morning on the air. Danny has gone into business which must require some of his professional attention, has musical irons in the fire, and he's still full-time on The Hardline (with, it seems, more absences than in the past).

No one has dropped me a line with any inside dope on the disposition of The Orphanage. Perhaps someone will. If it is the case that we have seen the last of it -- and, as Norm might say, with the greatest respect to Bruce LeVine and the other guy -- I hope the CTO will continue their policy of looking for some fresh voices among the JV. I'm not sure who it would be. For my money The Ticket has hit a home run with Cirque and The Shake Joint, and I also very much like any combination of Ty Walker, David Newbury, David Moore, Stewart Cedar, guys like that.

In the meantime, I'll remain hopeful that the Teebox will continue to hand off to Davey and Danny.

May 30, 2011

3:37 a.m.--It appears this site (that is, Your Plainsman) may owe an apology to The Dancing Bear at First Base, one Ty Walker by name, who an Anonymous commenter reported had been suspended for Tweeting a Jeff Catlin email.  I had my suspicions, since I could find no Internet reference to this having taken place.  And if this report was wrong, then apologies are also owed to the CTO as well.

But they're still screwed up.

*    *     *

8:09 a.m. -- Cannibalizing from some of my later-last-night comments:

Because of the existence of message boards and sites like this one, there are lots of ways Ticketarians could communicate dissatisfaction to listeners, not to mention through their own Twitter accounts and blogs. But there wasn't much of that, and I almost never heard discouraging words from Ticket guys behind the scenes.  That suggested to me that employees felt loyalty to The Ticket and, perhaps derivatively, to Cumulus.

But now, we do hear a lot of public grumbling in different forums and on the air.  This suggests that Cumulus and local Ticket management no longer inspire that loyalty.  /What we're hearing from hosts and JV has job-losing potential all over it; it follows (to me) that the conditions that gave rise to the previous loyalty must have changed, and changed dramatically.

Conclusion, as if you didn't know if you were a faithful reader of Your Plainsman's speculations: Things are much worse at The Ticket than they were even six months ago, so bad that the risk calculus for Ticketarians has changed.  Grumblers may risk the loss of a paycheck or two, or even a job. But the grumbler gains something, too -- he's embarrasses a management that for the last six months has done little but embarrass him and his professional colleagues. Worth it? Not it things are cool; maybe, if the grumbler thinks things are headed off the rails anyway.

So it's not the content of the grumbling that is of the greatest interest -- it's that Ticketarians think it things have gotten so bad (and believe me, it's not limited to catastrophic remotes, crappy Internet feeds, and bungled hardware/software implementation in the studio, although that would be enough) that they want to risk telling the P1 about it.

And by the way -- if you accept Danny's invitation to contact the CTO, send them the link to this site.  They can start here (http://myticketconfession.blogspot.com/2012/05/apocalypse-sometime.html) and work their way forward.

*     *     *

2:40 PM -- NUMEROUS REPORTS THAT JAKE KEMP MAY HAVE BEEN INVITED TO RELAX AWAY FROM THE TICKET FOR A WEEK. 

See comments below for possible/likely reasons for this generous offer by the CTO.

I'll be by the station if I can, but if anyone can confirm, please post.

BUCKLE UP, BUTTERCUP!!

Sean Bass has given us the catchphrase for the season, for good or ill.

The pre-game shows have been good.  Sean and Donovan were plenny fine. 

Rich, Norm, and Mark Followill are putting on a crisp, authoritative presentation.  Miss Bob, but this team is slinging an entirely satisfying listen.  God, I love The Ticket.

But it's SeaBass who wins the prize this afternoon.  At the conclusion of his (pre-recorded?) analysis of the Jets, expressing some concern for the Cowboys' fate under the circumstances, he uttered our title phrase.  I laughed out loud, thought it was absolutely pitch-perfect for this season.  Someone, Rich, I think, said what the hell was that?

I don't know, but it struck me as excellent advice to the Cowboy Cadre.

[[NOTE:  The initial post identified the phrasemaker as Ty Walker.  Thanks to Anonymous and That Nice Young Michael Gruber for correcting me in the comments.]]

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Follow Your Plainsman on Twitter:  @Plainsman1310

This is NOT the Promised STD -- It's About Craig Rosengarden's Tickers on This Morning's Teebox and Tickers Generally

I had promised that there would be two consecutive STDs (Scorching Ticket Disquisitions, if you're new to the site), starting with the "Black Ticket" article just below.  But today's Teebox inspired a thought I thought I'd knock off to give the Nation some weekend content:

Whether you like golf or not, the Teebox is a great little show, 8-10 am on Saturdays sandwiched between the dubious (George DeJohn's Train Station Fitness Show) and the sublime (The Orphanage).  Rick Arnett and Craig Rosengarden have a fine old time talking about golfy things but also about other items on their minds and stuff that's happened to them during the previous week.  Always enjoyable.  Even if you haven't ever been up on a Saturday morning to check it out, you will be familiar with its most famous series of utterances -- Craig's "the anus is on him" and Rick's "the anus?!" and "I don't think so."  (My recollection is that Rick's "I don't think so" was not in reaction to Craig's misuse of "anus," but to Craig's attempt to explain his way out of it.)  Yes, Confessors, I was actually tuned in for that immortal exchange.

Anyway, on last week's show Craig expressed the thought that he might like to give Tickers a whirl. 

Today, he realized his dream.

It is not my intention here to criticize Craig's Ticker efforts.   If I understand matters correctly, he wrote the first one, and regular Ticker guy Casey Millen wrote the second one.  (There may have been another one or two but I did not hear the middle of the show.)    He was a little halting and uncertain on the first Ticker, but when he read the second one he'd found his stride -- even though Casey had written in some rather, uh, blue material. 

Here's what struck me -- reading out loud is a skill.  Put aside the skill needed to bang together a mini-broadcast as sporty news piles up during the day, gotta get the clips ready, gotta get a tease ready, maybe a couple of jokes, and then you have to write solid, succinct text that gets the info across in a clear and efficient way. 

Our Ticker guys are really good at all those things.  But again, my focus today is on reading the written word out loud.  Craig, of course, reads just fine.  But he is clearly reading.  It's not seamless.  He's not just talking into a mic, he's obviously reading.  His inflection is non-conversational, his cadence somewhat forced.  But Rich, and Ty, and Sean, and Casey, and all the other Ticker guys just blast it right out.  They're reading too, of course, but there is a seamlessness and polish to their delivery that does not call attention to that fact.  It has nothing to do with speed -- it's just a talent for reading out loud without sounding like a third-grader, on the one hand, or Franklin Roosevelt, on the other.  Expression; pace; continuity.  A mini-speech that is pleasing to the ear and does not call attention to its own delivery. 

So -- Craig's bit was fun, he was perfectly fine.  Rather brave, in fact, to undertake the Tickers. 

But let's take a moment to reflect on the skill it takes to sling out a good Ticker, and to thank the unthanked Tickermen of SportsRadio 1310 The Ticket.

This is Professional Radio Broadcast Management?

We all know that The Ticket is this astounding radio powerhouse.  Dominant in the ratings that matter.  Lousy signal, but obviously doing many, many things right.  So why, so often, does it seem like like it's managed like Chrysler?

It amuses us that The Little One is kind of a ramshackle construction, a bunch of guys just having a good time playing radio grabass, feuding, embracing, launching e-brakes in enormous numbers, generally doing the kind of things that a bunch of smart-but-not-smart-to-a-fault-except-Gordon regular guys would do if they were given a radio station to play with.  For the longest time I thought that was just an illusion, that the casualness was really a reflection of a very unique talent for making the difficult (interesting radio broadcasting) seem effortless.

But a couple of things are causing me to rethink this position.  On April 14 I wrote about The Amazing Ty Walker Final Four Screwup, where The Ticket had major boots on the ground in Atlanta and not a single host had the slightest awareness of it.  Rich Phillips claimed the producers knew about it via email, but the producers weren't talking.  So either no one likes Ty Walker, or there was a complete failure of communicaton.

And then, yesterday, Corby and Mike show up for a remote at American Airlines Center, only to find that it had been cancelled.  No engineers, no nothing, just Corby and Mike phoning in their location to Sturm/McDowell/Lewis.  (By the way, Corby handled that exceptionally well -- he was very funny on the phone.)   The only insight we had on this was that Rich Phillips had told the engineers the remote was off because of the late start of the game.  Corby amusingly suggested that perhaps the show hosts should have been let in on this. 

Rich was not on hand to defend himself.  If he had been there and inclined to disclose what had gone on behind the scene, I suspect he would have said (1) yeah, I mentioned it to the engineers but the show hosts don't report to me and it was someone else's job to give them their broadcast assignments, or (2) I did tell the show hosts, via email, but they don't read their emails carefully. 

Now I'm sure it's the case that remotes are somewhat dicey propositions to begin with, complicated to pull off successfully every time, getting everyone to the right place at the right time, and The Ticket does gobs of remotes.   (Although by this time, you'd think they'd have the remote tech and setup down pat, but there are still many technical glitches with remotes.)  

But, as with the Ty Walker episode, it does seem as though people who need to talk to one another at The Little One just don't do so.  

And what do these episodes have in common?  The Ticket's Own Man of Mystery.  Also observed here.  A broadcaster I admire quite a lot, but there's something up with him at the station that I expect we'll hear about by and by.

Ty Wal-KAH!!

We listeners and Confessors listen to the shows, and we get to know these guys, and we speculate about them, and what goes on at the station, and who's a nice guy in private and who's a jackass.  And which guys don't like which other guys, and why.  Well, maybe not all of us, but I do.

I'm a little late with this item, but I wanted to think about it.  This Ty-Walker-at-the-Final-Four thing is absolutely fascinating.  The story was featured on both The Musers and The Hardline.  (If BaD Radio or Norm dealt with it, would one of you who heard it leave a comment?  My thanks.)   I'm sure I don't have all the details correct, but Westwood One needed a stringer to do some reports from the Final Four for some local stations.  Someone else there -- Sean Bass, maybe -- declined the assignment, byt Ty Walker took it.  Expenses paid, went to the game, got to pet the bulldog, hit a couple bars, and gave a couple of reports for an Atlanta station, maybe on the air for a few minutes total.  Something like that.

And not a single report from him on any of the Ticket showgrams.

Both Ty and Assistant Program Director Rich Phillips insisted that all of the producers had received an email that Ty was on this assignment.

Here's what I found most interesting:  The Musers did not question Fernando, and The Hardline did not question Danny -- at least not on the air.  Neither did either of them jump in and say hey, I never got any email about this.  So I assume that Rich and Ty are correct that the producers got the email.  The hosts, to a man, denied that they knew anything about it.  I believe them too.

So what we have here are the producers being aware that Ty Walker was going to be going to the Final Four, hosts wondering where the heck Ty Walker had gone, and nobody saying anything to anyone.  Ty Walker didn't tell any hosts; Rich Phillips didn't tell any hosts; no hosts undertook to find out where Ty Walker was during the Final Four; Rich Phillips' supervisor(s) didn't communicate to any hosts. 

It is hard to avoid the conclusion that somewhere along the line, someone did not want to give Ty Walker a platform to broadcast a report on The Little One from the Final Four.

So -- is the hard time that The Hardline gives Ty Walker not just a bit?  (Danny:  "Stay out of this, Ty!"  Gordon:  "Wanna switch your mic off there, buddy?") 

Is Ty Walker persona non grata across a wide swath of The Ticket?  If so, why is he still employed there?  If not, why didn't a single soul, not one, undertake to enlist his services while The Ticket had boots on the ground at the Final Four?

It is interesting that the hosts chose to shine a light on this apparent station snafu.  Which suggests that maybe Ty's OK with them, but not OK with the next tier in production.

We listen to Ty, and he seems OK.  We know he's young, large, reputedly without woman, and a Star Wars fan.  Does a very nice job with the Tickers.  Ocasionally steps in to provide internet-provided answers to pressing showtime questions. 

So he doesn't seem like someone you wouldn't want to hear from the Final Four.

Which suggests that there's something else going on, and consider:  It may have absolutely nothing to do with Ty.  In fact, I'm guessing that it doesn't.  It may be that inter-level communications -- and we have at least four levels here:  Cat/Rich; hosts; producers; and Ticker guys -- are not what they should be.

And it could be that these guys get too much email, and they're not exactly the types to sit in an office looking at email all day, especially email from management with "Ty Walker" in the subject line.

Can any Confessor shed any light on this fascinating episode?