I Would Like to Wish Craig "Junior" Miller a Very Happy 60th Birthday

Duelling Insiders

I like it when Confessors have inside information and share it with us.  Or claim to have it.  Truth to tell, persons claiming special knowledge in this space do not have a great record.  Many years ago I heard from a Ticket person who said that he got his laugh for the day every time he would see in social media someone claiming to have inside information.  But I'd love to have a reliable pipeline, even if anonymous.

In the last thread, we had one confessor saying that Bob Sturm was going to move to The Hardline.

More recently, another said that a Muser, tired of the early mornings, was going to move to PM Drive.

Either would be fine with me.  Even if Jake ended up being a Muser, I'd absolutely listen to an AM show with a George/Jake/Gordon lineup.  I think the sparks would soon fly between Jake and Gordon -- Gordon isn't always  .  .  .  welcoming to other funny people on the show, and Jake has done some fantastic bits filling in when Gordon's gone.  But that would be a good Muser lineup for me.  And would love to hear Craig on PM drive, when I can hear a bigger chunk of the show most days.

Ditto with a Jake and Dan show.

But I think those scenarios are not likely.  One show was blown up by Mike's departure.  I do not see the CTO blowing up another historically successful show.

Unless  .  .  .  contract time is coming up for the likes of Craig, and he has the leverage of his own retirement.  But wait -- didn't the Musers all just re-up a month or so back?

So my money is on Jake to The Hardline.  Transforms a stale show with a jolt of energy that "the kids" who, we hear, are deserting The Ticket, find lacking in the aging hosts.

The real controversy Cat will have to deal with is:  Who will replace Jake as BaD producer?  My money would be on either Justin Montemayor or David Mino.  I'm a fan of Justin's "radio sound" and attitude, but David has sharpened up his act on Work in Progress.  There are some other JV guys, Ticker and board op guys, who will probably toss their chapeaux in the ring.

Good luck to all.  The Ticket is in for a wild social media ride.  Stay tuned to My Ticket Confession, Your Source for Quality Ticket Journalism.

No disrespect:  Kobe Bryant, RIP.

A Very Happy 54th Birfday . . .

.  .  .  to Craig "Junior" Miller.

Top Fake Laughs on The Ticket

[Not the STD.]

This is a bit of a misnomer, because not all of the laughs mentioned here are fake.  In composing this list, I tried to think of what various host's laughs sounded like, and I couldn't come up with some of them.  They may be secret chortlers, larfing under their breaths when bemusement overtakes them.  I ended up with a very short list.  From worst to first, and I will welcome corrections and nominations from the Confessor who may pay better attention than I do:

(4)  Corby Davidsion.  With the departure of T.C. Fleming, he will be at the bottom of any list, no matter how many other hosts or JV are included.  His shrieking, choking, breathless yowl at even the slightest funny leaves listeners bewildered at his comedy standards.

(3) Craig Miller.  This one isn't entirely fair.  Sometimes, Craig is left as the only voice left in the studio to support Gordon's bits where George is also an actor.  I have written in the past at the artfulness of his intelineated laughter to keep the bit going, which is why he is, among other reasons, the Fred Astaire of The Ticket.  Also, Craig tends to be somewhat on the acidic and judgmental side, so it is hard to imagine him laughing voluntarily at lame stuff.  He does it anyway, and he does it quite well, but not as well as:

(2) George Dunham.  His laughter is less prominent than Craig's, but because he's skeptical of much of Gordon's humor to begin with, when it appears it is warmer and more sincere.

(1) Donovan Lewis.  The hand's-down champ.   His guffawing always sounds genuine.  Makes me want to laugh along with him.

Honorable Mention:  Julie Dobbs.

The discerning Confessor will notice an absence of candidates from BaD Radio, except HM for Julie.  No particular reason for that.  In fact, I'm listening to more BaD than I have in many years.  It's just that when I think of their show and try to remember what a Bob/Dan/Jake's giggle sounds like, I draw a blank.

Well  .  .  . no, no, I think I'm wrong about that.  I'm having an aural memory of Dan sometimes cutting loose with what sounds like spontaneous hilarity.   I think I might rank him in pretty close to a tie with George, high on the sincerity scale.

Let's not turn this into a Corby Sux thread, OK?

OMAHGERD!  This site's been around almost ten years?  I can't believe no one ever told me about it!  It's the best and full of merry japes and jests!

Change is Good

As we approach the 25th Anniversary of The Ticket and this year's TicketStock, I've been thinking of what I should put in this space to commemorate it.

I couldn't think of anything.

I don't have a lot of interest in Top Ticket Moments for some reason, astounding and entertaining as many of them have been.

I've been listening to The Ticket since 2004, the year I arrived in Dallas -- 15 years.  The singular fact about The Ticket during that period -- and before -- is that it hasn't changed much.  With a few changes, some of which occurred very early on, it's been the same hosts in the same time period for all those years.  Amazing, and certainly a reason for its continued success.

But The Ticket has changed, sometimes in subtle, gradual ways.  I was hoping to come up with three, but I've settled on two:

(1)  The Ascendance of The Musers and Craig "Junior" Miller.   The shows have never been ranked, but in my early years of listening I would have said, if asked, that The Hardline was the quintessential Ticket show and certainly the one most closely identified with the station.

I think that has changed not because The Hardline has declined -- I don't think it has, contrary to the views of some Confessors -- but because The Musers have continued to grow and improve.  "The Musers" is now the most prominent and celebrated show on the station and I would say that even if the ratings didn't bear me out.

And I think the rise of The Musers is because of the rise of Junior Miller, the Fred Astaire of The Ticket.  When I began listening, George Dunham was "The Commander."  You don't hear that much any more.  Instead, Craig Miller is the Judge and Lord High Executioner for station controversies, and the creator of "tiers" to rank the relative prominence of persons appearing on the station.  He is the most prominent host on The Ticket, eclipsing Mike Rhyner and even his podnuh George Dunham.

(George -- love the guy, but there came a period some years back where his interest level clearly waned.  I don't know if it was because he was building a house or building a band, but there were some segments where he simply wasn't ready to broadcast, and you could hear Junior's irritation.  Not really a knock on George -- he's still great -- but not the station leader he once appeared to be.  (And his occasional unpreparedness seems to have abated in recent years.))

(2)  The Growing Prominence and Quality of the Junior Varsity.  I credit Jeff Catlin for hiring and showcasing down-tier talent.  Yes, there have been some flameouts, some misses, some jerks, and some who just flat failed to launch, but by and large the non-daily-host on-air people are very good and getting better and better.  There's not enough room in the broadcast day to give some of them the prominence they deserve.  Too bad you can't sell enough advertising off hours to give some of these guys (and Julie) their own shows other than on weekends.  (Or can you -- while leveraging the broadcast day on the Ticket Top Ten is genius, could you do better with a live Work-in-Progress from 7-10 nightly?) 

I hesitate to name names for fear of leaving out some top-quality folks, but in no particular order, there's Justin Montemayor, Mike Sirois (honorable mention -- Cash), Jake Kemp, Sean Bass, Ty Walker, Julie Dobbs, David Mino.   (I don't count Danny Balis as JV, but he's kind of equivalent to Jake on BaD, so you could list him here too.)  Dave Lane as a cameo JV.    Hey, I'm sure I'm leaving out some real good up-and-comers, so help me out here in the comments.

(3)  The Hardline?  I said I was going to do two, but of course the show with the most wrenching change during my listening history has been The Hardline, with the separation of Greg "The Hammer" Williams a decade or so back.  Of course that's a "change," but here I'm going to offer a view which I know will be at odds with those of some long-time listeners:  I think The Hardline is in some ways a better show now than it was when HeeHoo was on it.

Yes, it is true that Mike's interest has declined and he doesn't pay a whole lot of attention sometimes.

Yes, it is true that Mike allows Corby and Danny to browbeat him when he should be putting them firmly in their respective places.

Yes, it is true that Corby is a mic hog.

Yes, it is true that the lack of show prep can verge on disrespect of the P1.

But for all that, I listen.  And I laugh more at The Hardline than at any of the other shows.  I've said it before:  Corby Davidson is the Howard Cosell of The Ticket -- he'll irritate the living bejeebers out of you, but still you tune in and (usually) don't tune out.  And I and other Confessors have observed how good he can be when he's away from the nurturing biosphere of the who-cares Hardline.

I was tired of Hammer's ignorant redneck act before he got the heave-ho, and his various issues were plainly affecting his broadcasting long before he crashed and burned.   I'll punch out on Corby and Danny from time to time (Mike isn't present or flavorful enough to excite the punch-out finger much anymore, although he's still a mesmerizing broadcaster when he's engaged -- that is, when he's got a subject that really interests him, or with a co-host who engages him), but for me, The Hardline is great entertainment and better than it was 15 years ago.

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I'm not going to make TicketStock this year, so send your photos of TicketChicks and other watchables to:

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

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How has The Ticket changed for you?

There Is Nothing Like the Ticket

Or maybe there's nobody like Gordon Keith.

Or maybe there's nobody like Jason "Killer" Kellison.

But as I was marveling this morning at yet another one of Killer's Gordon-penned oral essays, this one on Christmas, the thought that came to me was that as brilliant as Gordon can be -- is -- and as perfect a foil as Killer has sacrificed his dignity and self-esteem to become, what's unreproduceable these bits is the combination of the two of them, and Junior's appreciative laughing-but-not-overlaughing, and Jeff Catlin keeping his hand lightly enough on the tiller to allow this kind of satire on some things that some listeners unquestionably believe are beyond kidding.

Gordon couldn't perform that essay himself.  It would never work.  The words wouldn't be funny coming out of his smart mouth.  Jer -- no.  Craig, George -- no.  Fernando -- certainly not.  Killer -- he ain't dumb, but his history of eager but not-entirely-smooth forays onto the air makes him the perfect interpreter of these bits, which I almost always find hilarious.  Of course, nobody thinks Killer is dumb.  I sure don't; Ticket management certainly doesn't.  But in Killer, Gordon has found the perfect actor, and it's impossible to imagine any other program on The Ticket or the Fan or ESPN where that bit could even have been offered. 

Which is why, among many other reasons, The Ticket is essential.  It is the only home for certain kinds of programming, the for the peculiar genius that bubbles up out of the chemistry between this once-in-a-lifetime -- or maybe once-in-a-generation -- set of humans.

Ken Berry, RIP.

My World Has Been Shattered -- The End of MTC?

Craig Miller -- the one they call "Junior," sometimes "the Joonz" -- committed an error this morning.

I stared at the radio, my piehole agape.

I'm not sure I can go on.

One's existence has so few certainties in this uncertain world.  I thought Craig's freedom from error was among them.

In this, I was apparently also in error.

He corrected the error, more or less, in the next segment.  But his correction indicated that he did not understand his error.

He was reprising the flat-earth guy from the day before.  He reported that the flat-earth guy had said that the moon always shows the same side to the earth.

Craig -- excuse me, I have to go get a glass of water -- scoffed.  He said that of course we see the moon rotate and show all of its surface area to the earth.  It's why we can't always see the man in the moon, he said.

I'm thinking -- his phone must be melting.

And indeed, in the next segment, he issued a correction, but he didn't understand it.  He had been advised in the interim that the moon in fact, always does show its same side to the earth owing to a tidal phenomenon (it's called "tidal locking").  (In fact, there's a slight rotational wobble ("libration") that lets us see a little more than half of the moon's surface from the earth because its orbit is not perfectly circular.)   What froze his mind was this:  The moon's rotational period around its axis (spinning) is equal to its period of revolution around the earth (orbiting).   So what? he seemed to be saying; he still did not understand why we did not see the moon rotate so as to see all its surface.

It's because we view the rotation and the revolution at the same time from our vantage point here on terra firma.   Instead, let's expand our frame of reference -- out to the sun, for example.  (Yes, I know you can't stand on the sun.  The old joke:  "I want to be the first man on the sun."  "It's too hot."  "I'll go at night.")  Imagine you're on the sun looking back at the earth and the moon.  Now remove the earth from the picture to eliminate the distraction.  What do you see?  You see the moon rotating on its axis every 27 days and showing you all of its faces -- and it will always be full because the sun is what makes the moon shine.

Which leads us to the question of why Junior thinks that you can't always see the man in the moon.  It's not because he isn't there, having rotated out of sight -- it's because the moon's rotation with respect to the sun just described causes its phases from our vantage point on earth, so some of that always-facing-the-earth-surface disappears and reappears every month.   Or else it gets eaten and then spit back up by a space monster, I'm not sure.

I'll leave you with a fun moon fact.  The moon is the largest planetary satellite in the solar system as a percentage of the size of its planet.  It is the only natural planetary satellite in the solar system whose orbit always curves towards the sun.   That is, if you were to go way, way north of the sun's north pole and look down on the solar system, and then took the earth away and looked at the path of the moon's orbit over the course of the year, you would see that the moon's orbit would look like a twelve-sided thing where the sides curved gently toward the sun, and the corners curve more sharply toward the sun.  But none of that path would ever curve away from the sun. The earth and moon are, in effect, something of a double planet.

I'm going to go lie down.  Feeling unwell.  May be last article.

Last Friday -- Not a Good Day for Tickermen

This site was saddened to learn of Jon Fahy's departure from The Ticket last Friday.  Turns out that wasn't the only Tickerman drama on The Little One that day.

On Work in Progress yesterday, Justin and Mino were noodging Tickerman Samuel Hale about talking on air.  I didn't get it.  A Confessor advised that it was the upshot of Junior Miller's judgment at BaD Court on Friday.  Still didn't have details.

Well, Samuel Hale must be in very bad odor at The Ticket, because Craig Miller took the occasion of this morning's 5:30 segment to go over the whole story again, an unusual JV-bashing segment:

Samuel Hale, with long hair, is a Tickerman.

Sam Madison is a somewhat fresh employee, former intern.  He is one of approximately 31 helpers sustaining BaD Radio and its many needs.  He is famous for not knowing who Bob Lilly was/is.  Hair length unknown.

Dan McDowell thought it would be a good idea to go get tape from Cowboys rookies to see if they know who Bob Lilly was/is.  He apparently suggests this to Sam Madison.

Sam Madison asks Samuel Hale if he will go try to get some of that tape and provide it to him.  Sam Madison apparently anticipates that the tape will be used on BaD, which, as Dan says, is "starving for content."  It is unclear, but apparently he left the impression with Samuel Hale that Sam Madison was planning on using it in BaD Tickers.  I may have that wrong, but that's the impression I got from the sworn testimony.

Samuel Hale does go get said tape.

But he does not send it to Sam Madison.  He lies to Sam Madison and says he couldn't get the tape, no one home at The Star. 

Instead, he gives it to Corby, who broadcasts it on The Hardline.  Samuel Hale admits what he calls the deception and "double-cross."  Corby is aware that the idea was transmitted by Sam Madison.

Eventually, Samuel Hale admits his actions, and calls his appropriation "radio capitalism."

The real problem here seems to me to be not necessarily what Samuel Hale did by going to get the audio, but in not making it first available to the show from which the idea arose, BaD Radio.  I ask myself if Corby might be an unindicted co-conspirator here.


The whole story is preserved by the UnTicket.

BaD Radio Sam v Sam Court

Interesting side note:  This morning, Junior reminded us that awhile back, Samuel Hale "bowed up" to George, telling him that he was going to take his (George's) job, and that he was a better broadcaster than George.   Junior also observed (both on Friday and this morning) that Samuel Hale does "million-mile-an-hour Tickers."   (I wondered if anyone other than me had noticed those scorching Tickers.)

It occurs to me that perhaps Judge Miller should have disqualified himself, as The Musers seem to have something of a history with Samuel Hale.

And do we remember that budding broadcaster Samuel Hale did a weekend show or two back a few months ago with a partner I'm too lazy to go look up, auditioning for a newly-vacant weekend slot? No comment, but George's sleep has gone undisturbed since.

To his credit, Samuel Hale confessed to his faithlessness and fibbing.  He didn't have much choice given the evidence of some emails.   His justification -- that he had a higher and better use for the audio than Sam Madison intended -- use on a Hardline segment rather than BaD Radio Tickers as he believe Sam Madison intended -- did not play well with the court.

It's tough to be a JV, and I really do hope the guy rebounds.

I like his speedy Tickers.

Frankly, the faster Tickers are over, the better.

CONFIDENTIAL TO CRAIG "JUNIOR" MILLER: Come Home

Craig, as a fellow cycling enthusiast – but not in your league – I am excited about your cross-country jaunt.

As a Ticket listener, and in particular a daily Muser auditor, I am shaking with withdrawal symptoms.

Please take a right turn in Missouri – I believe I heard it said you were traveling west to east – and return to Dallas.

I am second to none in my near-worshipful admiration of Gordon Keith.  His gifts are staggering.  This site has dedicated entire months to celebrating him.

I also join all of humanity in having enormous affection for George Dunham.  It takes a special kind of talent to be one of those Sara Lee people, one of those people nobody doesn't like.

But, like many very fine things, Gordon is best savored in small portions, served at intervals that leave us looking forward to his contributions.

And George – needs a co-host.

Gordon is a noodger, a baiter, a badgerer, a ceaseless font of freshman debate tricks.  George isn't equipped to respond meaningfully.  Segments bog down before they get rolling.

Craig, I have referred to you as the Fred Astaire of the Ticket.  

"Rita, you won't believe what's coming up in Scattershooting."

 Fred dazzled us with his terpsichorean skills, but on the set he imposed discipline.  You moderate Gordon's behavior in ways George cannot do, and you also occupy air time that Gordon is now called upon to fill, which would be OK if he didn't feel the need to be "on" all the time.   Did we really like it all that much when someone tried to conduct a sincere interview with Robin Williams, or Dangerfield, or Rickles? 

So please abandon your lifelong dream of pedaling the country and come home and take care of the P1s that have made The Musers the most popular radio show in the entire world.

CONFIDENTIAL TO JEFF "USA CATMAN" CATLIN:   Doocy is not a complete solution, since Gordon – after reducing his Doocy-baiting for awhile – can't seem to let go of that bit.  But he way beats an empty chair.   Why he's vanished, I don't know.   But you've got an entire school of JV swarming around the borders of these shows, several of whom the P1 would love to see sitting in with George and Gordon, the same way Jake sits in with Bob and/or Dan.

Fix this shit, Jeff.

I know, guys, but those legs  .  .  .  .

Campound Talk

Only observation I have at this time is that it must be fairly close by.  They were talking about Gordon not making it by noon because he was insisting on tearing out a wall in his apartment to get a deceased rodent, but they made it sound like he wouldn't miss it by much, and he obviously didn't think it would unduly interfere with his broadcasting and radio-brotherly duties.

Water nearby -- George bringing a boat.

Probably that same place they've had it a couple of times in the past -- isn't it out in the Mid-Cities somewhere?  I forget.

Conundrum:  Fargo, or Junior Coast to Coast?

Draft Notes, Random

(1) I don't care anything about the draft and, as the Confessor knows, don't know a whole lot about sports generally.  But for some reason I always love First Night Draft Talk on The Ticket.  This year is no disappointment.  Even though you hear these guys talking about the same things in their own shows during the week, it still sounds fresh and the guys sound engaged and happy to be on call for the greater glory.

(2) Norm mentioned earlier today that he had not been feeling well and might not make it past pick 16.  I wonder if that is why he is making very much mistakes tonight.  Identifying the number one pick as someone's "sister," getting draft numbers wrong, just generally having a hard time getting more complex phrases out with any coherence.  Yow, did I just hear him call a "baby" a "bagel"?  Let's hope that's some medication kicking in. 

(3) Junior Miller is not only the Fred Astaire of The Ticket, he is also the Garrison Keillor of The Ticket, the maestro of wry, dry, observational humor and offbeat gags.

(4)  Bob Sturm is at least a regional treasure, and may well be a national treasure.  He has his issues with excessive discursion on occasion, but if you are patient there's usually a nugget before he takes the next breath.

(5)  One of these days I have to write a David Moore appreciation.  I know some Confessors don't care for him, but I think he's excellent.  Remember, he's the successor to Mickey Spagnola and Todd Archer, and he's still going strong.  I think there's room for Intentional Grounding all year 'round, don't really care what he and Big Bob decide to discuss -- that show always seems too short to me.

(6)  Not much Corby, yet.

(7)  No JV on air tonight, not counting the capsule bios they do after the picks.

"Norm, I don't come to laugh when you cover the draft.  I have the champagne and pork rinds waiting."

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com
@Plainsman1310

Junior Is Prescient Even When He Is Solely Intending to Be Amusing -- BREAKING: Sirois/Monte Update

I recall a discussion on The Musers about Tony Romo.

Junior said words to the following effect:  "I don't know if the Cowboys will trade Tony Romo or release him.  But I do know that whatever they decide to do, it will be wrong."  Not an exact quote, but you get the comedy point he was making.

Well  .  .  .  .

http://www.sportingnews.com/nfl/news/tony-romo-news-nfl-free-agency-rumors-dallas-cowboys/13ai7gveuomss1lywa66uqq9hx

I must be one of the few Cowboys observers in town who has no affection at all for Jerry Jones.  I don't think he's a nice man.  His "executive of the year" award was a joke.  Hall of Fame?  Yeah, they gave Arafat a Nobel Peace Prize, too.

I'm not one of those who thinks the Cowboys "owe" Tony Romo something, or vice versa.  And I never imputed that sentiment to the Jones family.  I never thought for a minute that any decision the Joneses would make about Romo would have the slightest whiff of altruism about it.  Nor would I expect it to.  All this "family" talk -- hs.

Once again, events seem to be bearing out the Wisdom of the Joonz.

"You can cage me anytime, TC."

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BREAKING BREAKING BREAKING -- Comment thread remarks on the on-air blowup by Mike Sirois against Justin Montemayor, and it's all over Ticket-related social media.  

Justin has tweeted this photograph illustrating that all is well, for public consumption at least.  And it looks sincere to me:

 

 ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

A Few Quick Hits

(1) Craig "Junior" Miller was on fire this morning.  He played the race card explicitly (even used the phrase "I'm going to play the race card") in arguing that the Rangers wouldn't give a black player the same chance after chance that they are giving Josh Hamilton.   Then he called Sooner quarterback Baker Mayfield a "spazz" and "spastic," not just once, but several times.  Not disputing the point -- just a little startling to hear while I'm shaving.

(2) I haven't heard much of Monty + The Machine (i.e., "Not a Podcast") lately.  I did hear some of Mike "The Machine" Marshall's post-game Mavericks work and thought it was pretty good.

(3) We now have some theories on the ubiquity of those unlistenable Meador ads.  (i) A couple of posts ago a Confessor advised that Meador had fallen off a list of -- I forget exactly, maybe the Confessor can re-post, but the thought was that it had lost a spot on a list of quality or trustworthy dealers, or something like that.  Accounts for a million ads that say nothing about the products or the price, but are all about honesty, transparency, and the like.   (ii) General Sales Manager Charlie Gray, I'm guessing, is doing all those voices and, I'm also guessing, writes the copy.  Remember the one where Charlie is talking and all of a sudden, without an obvious edit, "Bob" begins to talk?

(4)  I owe Emmitt Smith an apology.  For weeks I drove by the digital billboard going north on the Tollway not far from downtown, and I would see this ad for PlainsCapital bank.  It showed a photograph of Emmitt and what I took to be a computer-generated image of a very beautiful young woman.  I mean, I thought she was a product of the animator's art, I really did.  The legend was "Our Bank Has Swagger."  Why, I thought, would they generate some fake image to show with Emmitt?  I thought maybe she was supposed to be his banker.   Here is the photo, without the PlainsCapital logo.

I suppose a true fan would know that that is his wife, Pat.  But I didn't.  Driving by at 65 mph, with billboard-quality resolution, I thought she was CGI all the way.  Turns out no, she's just perfect.  So I apologize to both Mr. and Mrs. Smith for my crass error.  Been making a lot of those lately.

Go forth, Confessors.

Hey, Craig "Junior" Miller -- Do This

There is almost nothing wrong with The Musers.  Let me take that back.  There is nothing wrong with The Musers.  If the show were on a New York station, or syndicated, or even promoted a little, The Musers would be considered a legendary, historically important show.  As it is, it will be remembered forever by those of us fortunate enough to be able to tune in every day.  Talent, prep, pacing, tone, yuks, not afraid to steer from time to time into the mist of intellectual anarchy.  Can't beat it.

But there is something missing.

I rise on the plains at about 5:15, and by the time I feed the dog and find a handful of stale Chili-Cheese Fritos to kill off the overnight hunger, it's time for the epic Ticker by Sean Bass, formerly offered by the legendary Rich Phillips.  Nice intro for a day of sports-related broadcasting, if not actual sports broadcasting.

Some days I shave, some days I don't.  Some days I wear jeans, some days I put on a suit.

But every day, as I apply Jack Black Epic Moisturizing MP10 Nourishing Oil to my leathery puss, I ask myself:

What is the weather going to be today?

And why aren't the Musers telling me?

Why indeed?

So, Junior, here's a suggestion:

Give us some weather in the morning, maybe between 6-7, with one-sentence updates throughout the morning.  It doesn't have to be a composed bit every day.  You don't have to do your (pretty skilled) TV weatherman imitation.  Just a minute, maybe less, maybe more, depending on the circumstances, of what we can expect.  You can crib off Accuweather, Weather.com, Weatherspark, Weatherbug, WeatherUnderground, NOAA forecasts.   You can look at the radar and make your own forecast.  You can accept weather observations from texting, tweeting, emailing, or calling P1s.   You can interview professional meteorologists, academics.  You can do bits; or you don't have to.  You can be as unpredictable as the very weather gods themselves.

And best of all, Cat:  It can be sponsored.

I like Becca and her cut-through-the-phelgm vocals, but Junior, don't let her grab the glory that should be yours when it comes to giving us the weather.

Wow, it's been a long time since I advised The Ticket on how to do radio.  Felt good.

I'll be looking for my commission check.  Still waiting for the one for my advice to put The Ticket on 96.7 in the frequency modulation.

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ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

Quick Hits -- Limited Ticket Nexus

(1)  One hundred percent with Craig "Junior" Miller:  The Chuck thread of "Better Call Saul" is a thrashing of a high order.  Show screeches to a complete stop when Michael McKean appears on the screen, not necessarily because of Michael McKean himself, but because the thread is not interesting.  The electromagnetic-sensitivity mental illness element is tacked on, gratuitous, and slows a slow story even more.

In fact  .  .  .  while I love both "Bad" and "Saul," those shows can both be very, very slow.  

(2)  I attended an employer-sponsored seminar on how an optimistic outlook can improve health.  I noted that this popular notion got started with a famous journalist named Norman Cousins, who was diagnosed with a potentially fatal illness.  He rented a bunch of Marx Brothers movies and other things he thought would make him laugh, locked himself up somewhere, and laughed himself back to health.  I tried to remember details about this and when I looked it up, I found that the disease from which he suffered was:

Ankylosing spondylitis.

(3)  All hosts on all Ticket shows should immediately and permanently abandon all lines of diarrhea humor.

BREAKING BREAKING BREAKING: Speculation Confirmed: Junior Coast-to-Coast, 7 PM, Tonight

A Cumulus employee who spoke on condition of using a fearful Michelle Wie voice (but not Gordon) has confirmed that Craig "Junior" Miller will be plumbing the paranormal, identifying the unidentifiable, and indulging his interest in all things relating to harvesting bodily fluids on a special renegade one-off pirate-radio edition of "Junior Coast-to-Coast" at 7 PM on KTCK 1310AM/96.7 FM "The Ticket" SportsTalk Radio.

 

Rare Weird Tense Moment on the Musers

Usually the tension pops up between Bob and Dan, Mike and Corby, Norm and  caller.  The Musers are gentle.

But there was a surpassing strange moment early this morning.

I think it was the throw-away 3-minute segment before the 6 AM ads/Stick It (welcome back, Becca!)/Ticker.

Craig was talking about Robin Williams's children throwing out the first ball at the World Series last night.  Billy Crystal introduced them.  There was apparently also a nice video.  Craig said it was very touching.

Then George said -- and I wish I could transcribe the whole weird exchange, but I'll have to approximate -- "Goes to show you shouldn't do yourself in.  Could have been you out there, showing out the first pitch.  Robin Williams, big Giants fan."

Craig initially seemed to think that maybe George was making a point about not being able to see one's children do something like that, but no.  Craig, smooth operator that he is, didn't miss a beat.  But he missed a fraction of a beat, just enough to create that frisson of anticipation as to how he would react.

He said, just before going to break, "So that was the theme of the World Series last night, don't do yourself in."

George missed the sarcasm.  "Yup," he said.

Musings

Sorry I've been away.  A few notes from recent morning showgrams:

(1)  I haven't heard George as prepared or animated as he was last week when Craig was gone and he went off on a very animated rant in the 5:30 segment on high school bands.  Good to hear George excited about something.  Wished he'd packaged for a later segment, it deserved a bigger audience.  Probably made the Top 10.

(2)  I'm liking Gordon's contractor talk as contractor Randy Cody.  George is jumping in with some funny contractor talk as well.  The gag range tends to be somewhat limited, but it's a good bit.

(3)  I don't know why I found it interesting that Grey Goose Vodka is sponsoring the Dunham & Miller Open.  It's not a station sponsor, that I recall.  I guess it's not all that interesting -- but I'd think that one of the major advertisers on the station would sponsor the thing.  Is it tense when D&M Auto Leasing or All-Pro Foundation Repair or whoever calls up Sales and says, "Welp, almost time for the Open, let's talk about this year's sponsorship" and the Sales chick says "Uh, we've already sold that sponsorship to Grey Goose," and the old sponsor says, "Hey, that's my spot, how much you getting from Grey Goose?" and she tells him and he hangs up violently, indignant over the ingratitude.

Yes, I know, I know, it doesn't happen that way.  Don't leave comments telling me how stupid I am.

There have been comments lately on the surprising lack of sponsorship on the online broadcast.  And once in awhile you hear an on-air segment being sponsored by Your Mama.  Doubt it has much meaning to The Ticket's overall health, but maybe one of our radio insiders knows the dope.

(4)  Fight Night tonight.  George remarked this morning that one doesn't hear fight broadcasts on the radio today.  Junior riposted:  "You won't hear it tonight, either -- it'll be just three hours of screaming."  Which is a criticism many Confessors have about that broadcast.  Very difficult to tell what's going on, who's winning, anything.

However:  The careful student of The Ticket should pay close attention to such broadcasts.  In the same way that Ticket Round Tables can be revealing of inter-host relationships that you don't get during the normal broadcast day, the Fight Night white elephant broadcast teams also disclose some tensions and discomforts that aren't revealed during the shows.  I may listen while the Cowboys game is on, see if anything pops up.

If you go, drop us a comment with a report.  If you hear something interesting on the broadcast, ditto.

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ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

Comments are moderated.  

Don't waste your time with ad hominem attacks on Confessors or name-calling or especially impugning the intelligence, motives, or writing style of Your Plainsman.  (Actually, writing style criticisms might survive if the comment is otherwise acceptable.  Recent hate mail has not been.)   Watch the cussing.  Comments may be rejected for tone.

Where's Conrad?

It doesn't have the same ring to it as "Where's Greggo?" but I'm curious nonetheless.

Did he finally weary of reading all of that smirking promo/liner copy with the centuries-old gags?  I actually had on my stale list of articles to write that Conrad had the hardest job at The Ticket.

Who's the new guy (if he is a new guy, and not just filling in for Conrad on sabbatical)?

I'm still scrambling out here on the plains on post-vacay catch-up, but trying to re-immerse myself in The Fabulousness That Is The Ticket.

I did have to chortle at one of the comments while I was gone.  I didn't get to hear any radio last week so can't comment on T.C. Fleming's fill-in date for Gordon, but one Confessor remarked that Craig seemed beaten down by the whole thing.  I would love to have heard that.  Da Joonz has a way of letting you know his feelings about someone in a very subtle way.  I remember this particularly with the The Great Peter Gammons Experiment.  If you had just seen a transcript of those interviews, you wouldn't have thought anything amiss, but there was something about the sound of Craig's voice that said why do we need to be talking to this guy about Texas stuff, especially since half the time Gammons was on his treadmill or hiking the Urals or something while supposedly devoting his attention to the interview.  Always a fun listen.

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ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

End-of-Spring-Break Quick Hits

(1) Having some problems with Blogger lately.  If I vanish for awhile it may be for technical reasons.  Will leave a comment if there are further issues.

(2) Craig "Junior" "the Joonze" Miller reported on his favorite websites in the 5:30 segment this morning.  "My Ticket Confession" was not among them.

(3) Jeff "The Pan-American Catman" Catlin is really cutting into his host's extra promotional income.  First it was Pat Lobb Chrysler-Dodge-Jeep, now he's flogging a Chevrolet dealership.

(4) I remarked in a comment to the last thread that TC had made himself a Ticket "immortal."  Some readers took that as an endorsement of his entire body of work.  No -- I meant he has made himself a Ticket character that people will remember long after he's gone.  Someone mentioned Rocco Pendola, who, in my book, is also a Ticket immortal.  I never heard a single syllable he ever uttered, being long gone before I arrived in the area.

(5) Pretty cool that Gordon was runner up for the Royko Award from the American Society of Newspaper Editors for his Dallas Morning News column.  Congratulations, and best of luck to him as he's also been submitted for consideration for a Pulitzer.

(6) Anyone else find the "Between Two Ferns" thing with Galifianaklis/POTUS about 17% as amusing as a couple of Ticket hosts did?  Actually, I thought the President did a good job -- he's a natural performer -- but it just didn't move my yuk meter.  Probably didn't help that it gave off the fragrance of just another Hollywood shill for Obamacare.