21st Century Schizoid BaD

First to ID the reference without Googling -- honor system -- and I'll send you something.  I don't know what, but something.  I'm sure I've got something sitting around somewhere I could send you.

I didn't hear Dan twist off on the intern.  But we've heard his on-air downdressings before.  The event prompts some thoughts.

The first thought I had was -- do all the shows have interns?  Are they station interns, or are they hired specifically for BaD?  Is the reason BaD seems to have so many interns is that its the only show that talks about them?  Whenever I hear interns referenced on other shows, it's always a reference to a BaD intern doing something inappropriate.   Or does BaD have some special deal where only they get interns?  (I seem to recall references to Norm interns, too.)  Why does BaD need interns?   Why does BaD need other people to feed them?  Run their personal errands?  Is it the mankilling hours required of Ticket hosts?

I don't really care if BaD has interns and other shows don't.  All part of the deals, I guess.  I just don't understand the function of the intern.  I thought maybe they do research.

But I didn't really intend to make this a column about interns, although I'd be glad to have information about this unsung breed.  Perhaps we should pay more attention to them.  You know, I should be cultivating the intern.  Would be an interesting source of Ticket information, with pretty much nothing to lose if he or she got found out.

Oh, yeah -- get a female intern for Bob and Dan.  I dare ya, Cat.

No, here's what I wanted to write about -- my BaD schizophrenia.

I've been able to tune in more often than usual the past few weeks.  (Less Musers/Hardline, more BaD.) 

And sometimes I hear segments that are as good as anything I've ever heard on the station, sports-talk wise.  I thought the Ron Washington segment a couple of days ago was excellent.  Crisp, thoughtful, balanced.  Mostly Bob, but Dan usefully contributing.  And when I hear segments like that, I think -- you know, I've really come around on BaD, I should write a column about my growing admiration for that show.

Then I hear a segment like the recent El Chapo segment (El Chapo -- the Guzman cartel CEO that just got hisself captured) that was just chaos, and not good chaos.  It bogged down from the first syllable.  The discussion was whether "chapo" meant "shorty," which had already been pretty well established by every single news story on the event in all forms of media.  And while everyone was talking at once, you hear this dial tone, and you think man, that's annoying, Mino needs to fix that.  And it went on and on, and eventually you realize that it's not just an apparently unfixable irritant,  Dan is calling someone.  You don't know who it is.  Someone answers the phone.  No identification of who it might be, none that I heard anyway.  Dan starts talking to the woman in a familiar, flirtatious way, as though she should know who he is, and maybe she does, but doesn't sound ecstatic to hear from him.  He asks for "Mishrod," who I eventually figure out is Michelle Rodriguez (her Twitter ID is @michrod), who I eventually figure out is a fellow Cumulus radio host.  Maybe I should have known that's who Dan was calling, maybe you all knew, but irrespective of my ignorance of non-Ticket Cumulus stars, I was able to perceive that she wasn't a whole lot more interested in hearing from BaD than the receptionist had been.  Dan tried to chat her up, but she wasn't playing along.  The segment lurched to a close.

I was talking to  someone about BaD after that ratings book that showed a dip during some of the Norm-BaD hours.  This individual was as skeptical as we all were that this was anything more than anomalous blip, but he did say that maybe it would prompt BaD to sharpen up the show, especially the first segment or so.  And I thought of that remark when someone commented on the last thread that the segment after the intro was pretty much always burnt.

But every show has its rocky segments.  Why BaD's emerge more vividly for me, I can't say.  I've always liked Bob a lot, and I've warmed up to Dan more and more over the past couple of years.  A big Donovan supporter, too.  So I can't tell you why I punch out on BaD more than all the other shows combined.  And for all  those Chapo fails, there are segments that are brilliant.  And not just sports segments, but segments intended to be funny, and are.  Then Dan shows up a one-step-up-from-a-volunteer kid for insufficient attention to the details of his personal requirements.

See, Bob and Dan are like a railroad track.  They're separated from one another like
these rails here,  and no matter how far they go along together they never
get any closer.   And yet, they succeed perfectly well in their intended purpose.

Nothing like a well-turned metaphor -- actually, I guess I styled it as a simile --
to set off another incisive column.

On balance, if anyone's keeping track, it is the case that I'm a bigger fan of the show than I used to be.  (I know this will please BaD greatly to hear.)   I have been guided in my efforts to appreciate the show by the admiration expressed by many Confessors, who name it their favorite.

I guess where I come out is -- it's a damned weird show rendered entertaining by a mismatch that somehow usually works.   Yes, I do punch out from time to time -- but when I'm by the Philco from noon to three, I'm punching in.

I know that's a long way to go for not much payoff, but I haven't given you much content lately so thought I'd just ramble a bit while I had a few minutes.

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Here's that album cover cactusflinthead refers to in the first comment below ("In the Hall of the Crimson King").  Love Robert Fripp, man.  Solo on the tune is amazing, but my favorite of his is on Eno's "Baby's on Fire."  [CORRECTION 2-28-14:  A commenter points out that the name of the album is "In the Court of the Crimson King."  I regret the error.]

CHEAP THREAD-FRESHENER: Watching "True Detective" and Can't Get Enough of Matthew McConaughey?

Well, that's him doing those Reliant Energy ads.

Theater of the mind:  Rust turns to Marty and says: "You are wearin' the heck out of that outfit," and chuckles softly.

"Too much Corby, man."

A Gift for Some Lucky Host

This is a bit of a scam entry, because it's really just one of my tragically sportsy opinions disguised as something with an extremely attenuated Ticket connection.

It is never a good thing when I dip my toe into sportness.

So you have been warned.

Yeah, so here is a sports opinion that I want to offer to any Ticket host who wants to adopt it.    No, really.  That fortunate host may have it free of charge, and the beauty part is that he, whoever he may turn out to be, may have it without giving this site any credit whatsoever.  No mention necessary.  Hey, what good would more readers do me?  I don't get a nickel from this if I have one hit a day or a million.

It's a Cowboys opinion.  I have not heard it previously opined.  If anyone has previously opined it, well, I thought of it first a long time ago, so that's my position on that there.

*     *     *

No one thinks that Jerry's management of the Cowboys is competent.  This evening, I'm thinking particularly of his game of musical coaches, the difference between what Jerry's doing and musical chairs being that no one gets eliminated -- you just get more and more coaches.

But I don't think this is just aimless, random meddling.

I think Jerry knows exactly what he's doing.

Now, this is not to say that what he's doing is good for the Cowboys.  But I think that Jerry believes that what he's doing is good for Jerry.

So here is my theory:

Jerry keeps adding coaches and layers of football-team management because it is a way for him to increase his influence over the coaching function and, ultimately, the locker room.

We all know that if he thought he could get away with it, he'd name himself head coach.  Instead, as we also know, he inserts himself in coaching matters.

Adding more coaches and layers of management enables him to meddle more, and more effectively (by his lights), in several ways:

First, the addition of each new coach that Jason Garrett had no role in selecting further dilutes the influence of that poor man.

Second, each new non-Garrett coach gives Jerry someone new to call, someone who hasn't completely tuned him out and who feels some gratitude to him in the short run for giving him a job with one of the most famous sports franchises in the world, and who will report his views to the group.

Third, the more coaches in the room who listen to Jerry when he calls, the more his ideas, advice, scolding, whatever, get repeated in the room.

And, finally, and most importantly for his purposes, if he can get coaches fighting with each other over the direction of the team, the weaker and less certain that direction is and the more influence he will be called upon (by himself, but now with justification he's created by his machinations) to exercise  to "resolve" these disagreements.

Take the Callahan business.  He won't let Callahan interview for a job?  Why not?  Because it serves his purpose to have a disaffected and even angry Callahan on the staff, because it gives management -- Jerry -- the chance to step into the coaches' conclave to resolve matters and, oh, by the way, long as I'm here, why don't y'all emphasize the tight ends this week?

Of course, this is a terrible way to manage almost anything.  But it is entirely consistent with what we know about Jerry's scorching ambition to be a respected "football man."  What better way, in his toupee-warmed brain, than to divide and conquer his own coaching staff?

Who will be the first host to discover this jewel of Cowboys analysis and make it his own?

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

Let's All Take a Break for Some Green Tail Shiner

All right, things are getting a little too testy around here for my liking.

We all need to calm down a little for some Ticket fun from the archives.

I've written about this a couple of times in past posts.  For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, and for those who do, the good men at The UnTicket have the goods as they usually do.  I re-listened to this a few minutes ago and I laughed out loud again, and not just one or two giggles.

9/11 was unquestionably a worthy Number One moment at The Ticket, but here is my personal favorite moment on The Ticket of the last ten years:

Green Tail Shiner Non-Explanation with Embedded Replay of Original Reference with Bonus Classic Michael Gruber Background Chortling

The link is actually Mike's Mind on the day following the original reference, but I believe most if not all of the original Green Tail Shiner reference is replayed here.

So if, on my deathbed, my final words are "Green Tail Shiner," as they may well be, you won't need a whole damned movie to figure out what I was talking about.

ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

@Plainsman1310

BREAKING: Gribble to ESPN as producer. Jake to BaD as producer. Mino to 12-7 board op.

Host lineup intact.

You just can't keep good news bottled up!

Gribble's precise assignment unknown (to this Plainsman).

Talk amongst yourselves.