From a remote Cumulus information technology administrator, exclusive to My Ticket Confession:
TO: email@example.com (mike_rhyner)
FROM: firstname.lastname@example.org (jeff_catlin)
DATE: March 2, 2015
SUBJECT: Some Thoughts from Bruce
Hey, OGW, hope you're staying warm.
Listen, you know BG stopped by the station a few weeks back on his "grand tour" of the Cumulus sports talkers. Great to see him again, hope he got a chance to stop by the show by to shake your hand. Looks great, dunnee?!
He told me he was going to have a few thoughts for us after hanging in Dallas and talking to people and driving around listening to the station for a few days, said he'd drop me a line. Got a note from him this morning.
Turns out, he's got a little homework for you.
He's jotted down a few phrases he'd like you to study carefully and start working them in during the broadcast. Actually, he used the phrase "tell Mike to memorize and use now." May want to print this out and use it as a cheat sheet.
Look, man, I know you're the godfather, the founder of the feast, the inventor of sports radio in Dallas. Gotta tell you, though, with respect, this sort of isn't a suggestion. You know how a boss can sometimes throw something out that looks like some kind of random shit but you know it really isn't? This is like that. Gotta do this. After these last two books our leverage with the parent to shuck the BS that usually comes from Atlanta ain't what it used to be. Kinda under the microscope, ya know?
When I drove him back to Love he mentioned he was going to be popping in on iHeart to see how things were sounding.
So you may want to start with this as soon as you've got them down, like today.
Cut and pasted this from BG's email. Here are your phrases that pay from Bruce:
"Let me finish."
"Just hold on a minute before you start in."
"Look, I'm talking here."
"Jesus Christ, don't you ever stop talking?"
"Don't interrupt me, I'm saying something."
"This is my segment."
"Let me tell YOU something. I was rockin' Gertie's and the Longhorn Ballroom all night and doing radio all day when you were just a glint off the bottom of a jigger of your pappy's Old Grand-Dad."
"My turn here."
"Me taking a breath is not your cue to start talking."
"Here's the deal: I'll talk while you re-check that story you just found on lowinfo.com forty-seven seconds ago so you don't accidentally misreport that Jesus has returned or the sun has exploded or Taylor Swift has married Dwaine Caraway."
"You want to shut your mic off there?"
"You know, it's absolutely amazing to me that What's On Mike's Mind is coming exclusively out of your mouth."
"Christ, even Bob Sturm has been known to let someone else talk for up to 12 seconds at a time."
"This is your quiet time."
"Please, just . . . just . . . let me talk for awhile."
"I want my Hammer back. That's not a drop."