Sunday, February 13, 2011

I Don't Know Whether to be Amused, or Terrified, or Thrilled

Theater of the Mind. 

Suspend disbelief for a few minutes, Confessors.


It's three, probably more like four years into the future.

The United States -- indeed, the world -- is in grave danger.

The US is beset by enemies on all sides.  Egypt, Jordan, and Saudi Arabia have fallen to radical Islamists.  They are on the verge of declaring war against Israel, which would trigger the Israeli-US joint defense pact and draw us into a new world war.

al-Qaeda has enormous influence on the most radical elements in the Islamist governments in the Persian Gulf.  It has reached the point where Osama bin Laden has assumed operatinoal control of the overall conduct of anti-Western political operations.  The decision for war, or no war, is in his hands.

However, a secret US "black operations" unit within the CIA has penetrated one of the Bedouin tribes close to the al-Qaeda leadership.   The undercover operatives know bin Laden's location.  They have operational control of a Navy SEAL team that is prepared to breach al-Qaeda headquarters, at which time the black ops team will follow them in to provide critical armed tactical support.  Their aim:  to extract bin Laden to a secure Allied location.   At a crucial moment, the US team will call in air support and surgical naval bombardment.  If the operation is successful, it will achieve something no US unit has been able to accomplish since September 11, 2001, and, more important, end the threat of imminent war.

The security of the free world depends on the success of the US black ops penetration and extraction.

The black ops team is ready to pull the trigger.  They've been preparing this for months. 

It's T minus 30 seconds.

The tension is a physical thing, you can feel it on your skin.

So why do I not know whether to be amused, or terrified, or thriilled?

Because the US black ops team is made up entirely of formerly unemployed P1's who have answered those CIA ads now running on The Ticket.


OK, I've had my fun. 

Here's what I really think:

P1's, I can think of nothing more terrific than answering those ads and entering into the service -- probably pretty dangerous service -- to the United States of America.  Matters not whether you are currently between opportunities or already have a job.  I have to admit -- those ads sound pretty cool.  I have never served my country (so far) and it's one of the chief regrets of my life to date.  I hope some of you hear something in those ads that strikes a spark and that you check it out.  Let us know how it works out -- only if it's not classified, of course.  And be careful; after all, my little story aside, the world is a dangerous place.


P1 Steven said...

I wondered if I was having a mental break after the first time I heard this ad.

Anonymous said...

Anyone know why Bob & Dan are on at 11:30 instead of Norm?

P1 Steven said...

Norm went on vacation...

T4 In Rockwall said...

Norm was fired. Along with The Hardline. It's chaos over at The Little One!

Scott said...

Thank you for commenting Plainsman. Those ads do make me giggle, when sandwiched by Sante Center and George DeJohn ads.

P1 Steven said...

I know he pays for the time he uses on The Ticket, but DeJohn sounds like a tool. He always has the most sensational teases...

Anonymous said...

Big Dick Hunter is co-hosting with Greggo today. Whitt is off for the day, I guess. Greggo's voice is still a wreck (which just doesn't make sense). And BDH sounds as asinine as ever. I've never seen someone believe himself to be such a clear and reasoned thinker... who in actuality is very gullible and hence susceptible to every crackpot notion and theory that comes down the pike.

Christy said...

Bob and Dan were on from 10 - 1pm on Monday so they could make their flight with the Dallas Stars on their annual hockey road trip. They'll be on at their normal time for the rest of the week.

I don't have the audio (although it would be here once the page is updated to include the Monday, Feb. 7, 2011 audio), but did anyone else hear George and Craig clearly not pay attention to Gordon? Gordon was talking about the Christina Aguilera National Anthem mess-up, and he played the audio. But he stopped it right before she forgot the line to ask his co-hosts what the lyric is supposed to be. Neither of them had been paying attention so they fumbled around, sheepishly admitting they hadn't paid been following along. Gordon, uncharacteristically for both himself and the station, did not stop down to call out his co-workers but plowed forward. It was such an odd moment, and I'm surprised it hasn't been given more attention (although the fact that The Observation Deck comes on at about 6:30 am probably has something to do with it).

P1 Steven said...

I just heard my ALL-TIME most hated Ticket commercial. The Hooters "GET THE FEVER" commercial. I hate it. Almost 2 months of this? KILL ME NOW

randy877 said...

Plainsman, a lot of the hypothetical story you told about the radical Islamists is not at all too far from what could happen. THAT is what's scary!