Wednesday, January 2, 2013

I'm Trying to Picture a Kevlar-Lined Jeep

I've listened with fascination to Rich Phillips's ads for Starwood Motors and its Kevlar Jeeps.  Indeed, he apparently owns one.  It has been awhile since I've heard the ad, but I could have sworn that he said it was Kevlar lined, or used Kevlar lining.  But my recollection may be failing me here, or, more likely, I thought that Kevlar, being akin to a fabric (I thought), was used on the interior of the vehicle.

This was incorrect thinking.

The damned thing is coated with Kevlar.

I refer you to the Starwood Motors page describing the Kevlar Jeep.  This particular one is sold as of the date of this posting, apparently, and indeed, the last time I went to this page, the Kevlar Jeep pictured was red. (If the link doesn't work, just google "Kevlar Jeep Starwood Motors" and you'll find it, unless, of course, you're using Bing.)   Maybe you order one, or they customize one at a time on spec, I dunno.  In any event, I invite you to click on the image and get a bigger picture and take a close look at the sheet metal, or where the sheet metal would ordinarily be visible. 

Indeed, the text says: 

"The entire exterior of the vehicle has been professionally coated with Premium Protective Coating w/Kevlar Fiber (4700 PSI tensile strength, which is over 200% strength of other brands), making it impervious to the elements."  It warns buyers:  "Beware of imitations! Many have tried to copy our unique Jeep conversions, only to produce uneven liner coverage, inconsistent or flawed texture, non-Kevlar liner, sub-standard parts and shoddy workmanship."

Now, I must say:  (1) This vehicle looks pretty cool.  The Chrysler folks are making some nifty vehicles these days, and until recently, I owned a Grand Cherokee SRT8 that was and is the absolutely coolest vehicle on the road for under $50,000 (it was my everyday driver and I traded it when the miles got way up there, and I'm even sorta sorry I traded it then).  (2) The Kevlar doesn't look ridiculous, and the red was also very eye-catching.  (3) I'm something of a Rich fan and if a vehicle nut like Rich vouches for the utility of this customization, I'll have some respect for that.  Hey, it sent me to the site to check it out, and now I'm writing this article about it.

But I have a few questions:

     --  How do you keep this stuff clean?  There was a time when vinyl roofs were all the rage.  Me Dad had an old Cutlass Supreme with one, and it didn't look bad, but it was a bear to clean -- swipe marks were all but impossible to avoid, and since you can't polish Kevlar like you can painted sheet metal (or can you?  I have no idea), I'm wondering how it's kept looking nice.  Maybe you just hose it off.  Can you take it through a car wash?

     --  "Impervious to the elements"?  In what respect are today's cars pervious to elements?  I can't remember the last time I even ever saw a rusty car, and man, I used to live in Chicago where (1) they salted the roads in the winter, and (2) they had winter.

     --  How is collision damage repaired?  Does this stuff rip?  And assuming you can re-coat a repaired fender, does this stuff fade at all?  I wouldn't think you could match existing material that had lost some of its color or that even was a bit nicked.

     --  Will it stop bullets and stuff?  

Let's just say it's easier for me to imagine Rich driving this vehicle than it is to imagine Danny driving any kind of a Volvo.*

====================

LATER:  Rich's Kevlar Jeep:

______________________________

* Really sorry, Danny, I went looking for the name of the dealer you're endorsing but couldn't find it.  I'll come back and fix this next time I hear the ad.  And yeah, the S60 R-Design has some greatness about it, but I just can't get all up in any 5-cylinder engine -- it's like it's missing a chromosome or something.


Twitter:  @Plainsman1310

29 comments:

James said...

Kevlar is not a fabric, but a very hard plastic-like substance. When I was in the army our helmets were made of Kevlar.

atlanta rhythm section said...

And the purpose of this post was?????? It's your blog, Plainsman, but damn if this isn't a head scratcher.

Well folks, Ferrell is DEFINITELY on. And so is CBS. I guess that was the gist of the Cumulus/CBS partnership. Who knows, maybe this is just the beginning? Perhaps there are other changes coming in the future weeks and months? Boy oh boy, I sure do remember this jack wagon, Ferrell. He used to be on the overnight national feed back in the old days (Sporting News Radio, I think). He's a caricature. In fact, I recall Gordo having some sort of on-air run in with him (think Nasty Nestor, but not nearly as confrontational). I long for the halcyon days of The Little Ticket; but there are some things, like Ferrell, that I don't miss.

T4 In Rockwall said...

I'm thinking someone could use a Kevlar Jeep in a bank robbery and you'd be shedding bullets left and right. I can imagine, right? I'm thinking when you went to chamois this thing, it'd be pretty rough on it and tear that sucker up.

The Plainsman said...

CORRECTION: Just heard Rich's ad again. He suggests that Starwood has many Kevlar Jeeps to choose from, so they're not just one-off custom jobs.

The Plainsman said...

@ars: I write about host endorsements, ads, and endorsed products/establishments very frequently. Archives are lousy with them.

Again: If anyone has a topic to suggest or would like to offer a post for consideration, please do advise. (ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com)

@James: I won't gainsay the word of a veteran, and many sincere thanks for your service. The beginning of the Wikipedia entry for Kevlar: "Kevlar is the registered trademark for a para-aramid synthetic fiber, related to other aramids such as Nomex and Technora. Developed at DuPont in 1965, this high strength material was first commercially used in the early 1970s as a replacement for steel in racing tires. Typically it is spun into ropes or fabric sheets that can be used as such or as an ingredient in composite material components." So you're right, not exclusively a fabric.

Anonymous Ron said...

Can you use a Kevlar Jeep in France?

The Plainsman said...

Check out Rich's Twitter feed (@rphillips1310) for a photograph of his ride and a tip-'o-the-hat to this site. Nice.

The Plainsman said...

I haven't heard Ferrell here, but I heard him when I lived in Chicago. Man, talk about the anti-Ticket. Unlistenable.

Anonymous said...

I'm sawreeee, but THAT'S IT!!!! What the f is Norm doing today? He's wasted two segments on what's tantamount to one of his fantasy horse racing calls. Two flippin' segments on what the Cowboys could get for Romo and who would replace him. Are you kidding me? He's even said that Romo is absolutely not going anywhere. I don't understand this. Norm's a good man, but dammit, sometimes he's a grade-a moron. Today's one of those days.

BBQ said...

I heard that too. And I'm listening to it again as I type this on the Top Ten. What is this? An utter exercise in futility. I can't believe Cat or someone didn't step in after the first of TWO segments and said "Hey Norm, move on to something that pertains to reality. This isn't a fantasy league show." I'm not sure if I've ever heard two more wasted segments. Realize that's in effect a half hour of programming/one quarter of his show. He even admitted that there's no possibility of any of these scenarios happening, as he takes Jerry at his word that Romo is going nowhere. I honestly don't get where Norm was going or what he was trying to accomplish.

BBQ said...

Oh yeah, Ferrall is absolutely awful. I kept thinking it was schtick, that he'd come up for air and speak/think like a normal human being. But no. Anyone that feels the need to tell you that they're a rebel, that they don't follow the rules, and that they don't care what anyone thinks about them is a total d bag ass hat. What's more, they do care. They care a lot (to use the title of an old Faith No More tune). Thanks, Cumulus/CTOs. What did we faithful listeners do to deserve this affront to our senses? Wasn't the Joe Morgan Show enough for you? My word, what about Sweet Jack? You must really despise us.

Shaggy said...

I've completely given up on listening to Norm. He is out of touch with all the major sports. He doesn't bring any relevant insight.

Anonymous Ron said...

The good news: All Ticket hosts are back from holiday.

The bad news: Ticketstock promos have started.

duckandcover said...

I take it that the BIG station announcement on Tuesday at 7:45 am is about Ticketstock? I wonder what song parody we'll have pounded into our brains for a month will be this time around?

The Musers addressed Ferrell this morning. Oddly, they didn't mention the fact that he used to be on The Ticket overnight feed here many many years ago.

Tomfoolery said...

Looking at the above comments about Norman Adolph Hitzges, it seems funny that people say he was weird yesterday...
From the mix with the musers and into his show, he seems high or drunk or having some type of brain fog today...
Schtick aside, I really am concerned about him today...

Anonymous said...

This thing Mike R is reading about how tough it is to get into radio is greatness. What's even funnier is Jake's reaction "by that time I'll be back in academia." HAHA. You are young and no matter how educated you are, still dumb, Jakey Boy. If you think radio is poor paying and a tough biz to make your way into, just wait until you try your hand at breaking into academia! HAHA. What an ass.

Anonymous said...

You are all morons. I hope you have good day jobs and families that tolerate you. None of you know anything about radio or sports for that matter. Atleast plainsman is a nice guy. The rest of you make it hard to like The Ticket.

Shaggy said...

Well then how about you explain xFIP and BABIP to us...

BBQ said...

@5:10 Anon

You really told us, friend! Ouch! Since you *know* so much about all of us, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? And after that, perhaps you might explain what your comment meant, exactly?

atlanta rhythm section said...

Hey 5:10, how 'bout some bona fides... Ya know, if you're gonna throw daggers and cash checks, let's see your knife collection and your available balance.

The Plainsman said...

Gentlemen, gentlemen! (I assume the last half-dozen or so posters are dudes.) Let's watch that name-calling, 510. You too, 349. If you are two different nameless beings, which I somehow doubt. Thisclose to deletion.

This Ferrall thing is interesting -- it kind of provides a barometer of how we really feel about the station. In fact, I almost never listen to the station after 9, and I suspect ratings plummet after 7, and again after the Top 10.

So, on the one hand, it is hard to begrudge the CTO for trying to do something to boost listening during that god-forsaken radio desert.

On the other hand, even though I don't listen to it, there's a part of me that considers the imposition of Ferrall on the 1310/104.1 brand as a kind of betrayal of the P1. He's exactly the kind of loudmouthed, gimmicked-up poseur that The Ticket shows up by its very existence and continued huge success. It's hard to associate oneself with the station as a fan when it slaps that kind of embarrassing, witless swill into any time slot. I doubt the Cat/Rich/Bennett axis had much say in this decision, but I'm hoping the P1 is inundating them with emails demanding his immediate eviction.

Anonymous said...

The Musers were defending the Ferrall show this morning. Georgio and Gordo said they found it funny. All three of them said that he's a real nice guy and his voice is not schtick. The dude actually talks like that in person.

I'd rather the station go off the air after the Top Ten if this is what they're gonna subject my ears to.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed Norm's Romo trade breakdown, simply because you hear "The Cowboys need to get rid of Romo" from so many casual fans. It was nice to have someone discuss the realities of how that would happen (or not happen).

blerogoyen said...

I would like to thank the gods I don't have to listen that little "annie" kid over-sing "Wheels for Wishes dot org be-ne-fits the Make. A. Wish. Foundation."

Two Point Conversion said...

Make A Wish is a wonderful charity, but yes, the spot is on the creepy/annoying side of things.

I agree with those who think Norm's what if Romo goes segment was too much. While 8:07 Anon makes a point, two full segments were not needed to explain something that every single other host did in one; some less than a full segment. Sometimes Norm's desire to set himself apart from the rest of The Ticket backfires. (The same can be said, at times, when he tries to fit in. Please see the unfortunately named Y-Pad segment. Sounds like the name of a feminine hygiene product).

Mr. Ferrall is something else. Perhaps he'll grow on me in a schticky sort of way. Perhaps. He sounds like a fog horn with bizarre cadencing and a West Coast upbringing. Basically if Guy Fieri sounded like a fog horn and talked about sports for a living. I must say that the beer pouring schtick is so puerile, so dated, that I actually find it funny. Having said that, I do wonder what is going through the CTOs' minds. Is this the direction they want to take nighttime programming? It seems like more local shows is the way to go. Rich Phillips mentioned Friday that the Top Ten slayed Dan Patrick. And from what I hear, Intentional Grounding garners excellent ratings for its time slot when compared to other stations' offerings. One can only wonder...

Anonymous said...

ESPN has good ratings on Mavs and Rangers game nights. The Ferrell thing is just a part of the CBS Sports/Cumulus merger would be my guess.

Anonymous said...

Ferrall definitely is due to the CBS merger. But dammit, can't they put him on at midnight or later? Let's get some more local stuff all up in dis biatch up in here-a.

Anonymous said...

This is not a "merger." Stop calling it that. It's a ditribution agreement. CBS has way too much going for it to "merge" with Cumulus.

Anonymous said...

Who cares what it's called? This isn't the radio-info boards, it's about The Ticket. The fact is, is that CBS and Cumulus are working together. That's all that matters. That and its affect on our listening experience. So, as Corbles is wont to say: suck it.