Monday, October 5, 2015

INVESTIGATIVE REPORT: Kelly McClure (Insert Stock Wolf Whistle Here) May Be a Great, I Mean a Really Great Lawyer . . .



.  .  .  but she doesn't seem to be referred to as "The Bulldog." 

Except possibly by herself.

And maybe not even by herself.

Except in that ad.

The Confessor is aware that Your Plainsman does what he can to protect him or her from questionable advertising claims broadcast on The Ticket.

Lately the P1 has been subjected to what has to be one of the worst, most tone-deaf ads ever to cause our jaws to drop with its awfulness.  Yes, I'm referring to the one offered by domestic relations attorney Kelly McClure, principal of The McClure Law Group. 

The most jaw-dropping aspect of which is that she believes it will appeal to "high-net-worth" men, presumably possessed of a touch of class, to make reference in her ad to her physical allure.  I'll say this – she dresses absolutely killer:








Which you can do if you charge fees to high-net-worth individuals, I guess.  As for the rest, I will leave it to the always-fair Confessor to determine.  For a woman in her mid-fifties – sure, that's worth a whistle from gentlemen of a certain age, if you like those sorts of  .  .  .  amendments.   And an impressively volumized, if dubious, coiffure.

I have heard of the McClure Law Group and I even knew that Ms. McClure cleaned up fair.  But I was suspicious of the claim that she is known as "The Bulldog."  We've all heard of "Jim Adler, The Texas Hammer" (whose moniker, truth to tell, is probably also self-created).  But I have never heard of "Kelly McClure, The Bulldog."  Or "Kelly 'Bulldog' McClure." 

So I interrogated MTC's research database, viz., Google.  A search yields zero hits for ["Kelly McClure" bulldog] other than those associated with her own website – which, oddly, also does not seem anywhere to refer to her as "The Bulldog."   Bing – from which, I confess, I have never retrieved a useful search result – and Yahoo yielded similar results. 

So if she is generally, or even a little bit, known as "The Bulldog" outside of her premises -- indeed, beyond her recent advertising -- it has escaped the notice of The Internet.

She would seem more credibly canine if she got her grammar right.  She declaims that she is "sometimes referred as The Bulldog."   She's missing a "to" in there, although I'm not going to thrash you with the explanation.  (Because I don't zackly know it.)  Maybe she used to drive bus.

Could she be known as "The Bulldog" among those in the know in the Dallas domestic relations community, which is probably one helluva tough community with all of the high-dollar marriages and divorces around here?  Sure.  She's obviously very successful, and you can't succeed in that very challenging, emotionally-charged practice if you haven't got some sand.  So if she wants to be, or become, known as "The Bulldog," fine by me.   



But if any Confessors work at the McClure Law Group, do a little experiment for Your Plainsman and drop us a report:  Next time you see her in the hallway, say "Hey, Bulldog!"  If she gives you the stinkeye, just tell her you were influenced by her memorable advertising on The Ticket.  Or you were singing the Beatles song.  Or you thought she had gone to Yale.

Gentlemen:  Let's keep the comments gracious here. 

*     *     *

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43 comments:

JustCristobal said...

Like you, I've been bothered by the odd grammar choices in the ads. The odd pronunciation of "McClure" has also gotten me. I never cared enough to loco it up, but by their pronunciation I kind of assumed it was spelled "McClur" or something similarly odd. They don't pronounce it like I've ever heard anybody pronounce that spelling of that name before.

Celery said...

Wig!

Anonymous said...

It sounds like it is time for a Reagor Dykes Keepin it Real moment!

Anonymous said...

Will any of the Ticket shows mention this?

http://espn.go.com/chalk/story/_/id/13818825/draftkings-employee-big-win-raises-questions-transparency-integrity-daily-fantasy-industry

Anonymous said...

@10:40 Tc mentioned it in one of his tickers earlier today.

Anonymous said...

While we are talking about ads, I wonder what Sean Bass thinks about the Jimenez Law Firm spots that basically give advice on how to get out of a DWI. I realize this is probably good advice for a lot of people, but it just feels kinda sleazy. I know that Sean was personally affected by a drunk driver and is a strong advocate for MADD, for which I applaud him.

Anonymous said...

George and Craig just came off like grumpy old me regarding Greg Hardy's comments. He was found not-guilty in a court of law. The way they were talking you would think he's a convicted murderer.

Anonymous said...

According to TC, the Rangers are playing the Blue Jeans in the playoffs.

Anonymous said...

George is my leader but he is wrong about "Airplane."

deezy said...

@824 that's not what I heard at all - I heard discomfort with rooting for an idiot (making comments to the press about two rival QBs' wives, for example). A sentiment I wholly agree with. The guy's a moron.

The "machine gun couch" comment was a drive-by, if you ask me.

And since when does being convicted of a crime matter? Plenty of people do bad stuff and get away with it...that doesn't mean you have to root for them. Just ask O.J. Simpson.

Anonymous said...

@ 8:24--he was NOT found not guilty, the charges were dropped and no trial occurred because his ex girlfriend could not be found to testify against him. It is assumed that Greg Hardy paid her a very large lump sum of cash to go away forever. He should be talked about as if he is a convicted murderer as he is the lowest form of pond scum a human can become. He is an affront to common decency and all of humanity and it is a crime that he is in a position of money and celebrity.

Anonymous said...

@October 6, 2015 at 4:57 PM

As someone who's had a DWI, that's not particulary good advice. It just means you have to retain an attorney almost immediately. It's more money for them, that's really all it is.

Anonymous said...

Um, you may want to recheck your facts 8:24. Hardy was found guilty by a judge in a court of law and sentenced to 18 months probation. He then appealed requesting a jury trial and prosecutors dropped charges when the woman he beat failed to appear in court. It was later revealed that the parties "came to a civil agreement" (i.e., Hardy dumped a bunch of money at her doorstep to go away). That doesn't make him not guilty. It makes him rich enough to get away with being a piece of shit.

James said...

8:24 Are you sure he was found not guilty in a court of low? I thought he was found guilty, then a judge overturned the verdict because of how the thing was handled.

ellislives said...

I did some surface googlie searches of Kelly McClure when I started hearing her ridiculous commercials on the Ticket. I think she is uniquely qualified to represent women in high leverage (read "pissed off trophy wife"), North Dallas divorce cases because she looks just like the over-altered, narcissistic women she is representing. By no means am I supporting the classic Chris Chris DBs that form the other side of the argument but she makes her money championing shallow, finance and appearance driven relationships. I've seen bulldogs with 8 nipples but not DDs. I know the Ticket needs to make money but their advertising regimen is starting to turn off listeners. See the "Keep it real guy", the "CEO money advice woman", and the countless NTTA spots.

Boo! said...

I find it funny that they're promoting how strong the stream is but yet I cannot listen to it on mobile, and sometimes not even off the website. I can't imagine streaming being that difficult unless they're running it off some 486 Acer.

@824 I agree with @deezy on this, Hardy was being an aloof knucklehead, and that's what the musers where pointing out. Also as David Moore pointed out, Hardy wasn't found Not-Guilty he had his sentence vacated, whatever that may mean.

Anonymous said...

@8:24, while I'm with you in the aspect of not judging a person on a charge until proven guilty, Hardy was in fact found guilty of domestic violence. He appealed, of course, and knew the second he was convicted he could easily get his ex to not show up to testify on the appeal. While I agree that he has paid his debt via suspension and should be allowed to play, the smugness and "laughing it all off" attitude he's displaying is pretty detestable.

Anonymous said...

Lots of ammunition in today's Hardline.

If the entertainment guy had done the research like we did, he would have known that "Going Clear" was screened at some film festivals and had a limited theatrical release to qualify it for an Oscar.

And no, Corby, Dan Rather was not "unceremoniously let go" by CBS. He was fired for violating a basic tenet of journalism, the profession which Dan claims to be so dedicated to.

Finally, am I the last person to realize that Corby is a shameless jock-sniffer?

Anonymous said...

Danny tweets there will be a big show announcement on November 24.

Shaggy said...

That was actually a retweet of The Twilite Lounge's tweet announcing a big show that will be taking place there November 24. This has nothing to do with The Hardline or The Ticket.

Anonymous said...

This will not be popular here, but I give kudos to Bob for having the courage to say who cares about Hardy off the field. There are tons of thugs, wife-beaters, sexual abusers and rapist in the league today, and they all have the money to get away with it. If you want to take a hardline stance against Hardy, then maybe the NFL is not for you. To me everybody complaining about it on the Ticket sound like old, out of touch, white guys. The problem I have is that the NFL makes these players be available for media. What do you expect a knucklehead like Hardy to say. He is doing bits and avoiding the issue because the NFL makes him do the interviews. It would be best if he was just off limits to media, but hey I get it, they need their headlines.

By the letter of the law Hardy is innocent. He has served his suspension so lets move along. But I get it, it makes for good radio segments and headlines.

Gopher said...

ellislives:

I agree to a certain degree about the advertisers, but my complaint is more about the frequency of the adds, not always the content. Over the air is one thing, but the stream is something else. They do not want dead air so they have to fill the stream with something.

Do you remember during the early years the ads were almost all for some male enhancement product, a local "gentleman's" club or Joe Willie's hamburger joints.(either a great burger or food poisoning, you never knew which)

deezy said...

Some of y'all will remember the very early days of the stream, where they played Rotten Radio during the breaks.

birq said...

@deezy I remember Rotten Radio, and how it sounded like it was being played at 2x speed so everyone sounded like chipmunks. The last time I listened to the stream, probably the middle of last year, it was 90% PSAs. If I could've figured out how to fashion a noose while driving, I never would've made it to Austin and back.

birq said...

Also, regarding the Greg Hardy crap: http://uproxx.com/sports/2015/10/katie-nolan-greg-hardy-nfl-garbage-time/

Ms. Nolan has a point. Many of them, in fact. Watch that clip. It's worth the 3:33 of your time.

I've been unable to give a crap about the Cowboys since they welcomed Josh Brent back with a warm embrace, and was disappointed when there wasn't even a hesitation about Hardy's questionable character, but honestly, it's what I've come to expect from Jerruh and the boys. They're a joke and the NFL empowers and abets them.

Unrelated but related, it's funny to see Fish and hear David Moore with their hard-hitting locker room questions.

SPORTS!

Anonymous said...

She has a nice rack.

Gotta tell you...been listening to Dennis & Friedo lately....pretty good little radio show over there on ESPN 103.3 I finally have something to listen to during middays now that IJB has taken over 12-3 on The Ticket.

Go Rangers.

Anonymous said...

Corby is so deep in his own personal “sportsworld”, he didn't even know who Katie Nolan is. Granted, her shows are bad, and she is a Patriots homer, she has been in the national sports media spotlight for more than three years.

Thankfully, even Mike knows of her and her tired gimmick.

Anonymous said...

Rhyner's assessment of Ms. Nolan was spot, dead on.

blergoyen said...

Whatever you think of Kelly McClure, I totally would. Considering how highly prized Christina Hendricks' bolt-ons are in this neck of the woods, I'm surprised there aren't more confessors drooling over McClure.

Regarding Greg Hardy, I'm in the group that thinks his legal proceedings are now irrelevant to playing NFL football. The case is dismissed, and he doesn't owe anything to anyone, not even the mouthy dingbat corky was so freely publicizing about 30min ago.

Anonymous said...

Ah yes, the annual Switzer lick fest.

Anonymous said...

You think the lady in question might be a little . . . high maintenance?

Anonymous said...

The new Comerica spot is very authentic sounding. This guy merely wants his bank to, um, uh, fill in stammer, care about his small business as much as he cares about his small business. Is that too much to ask?

Colorado P1 said...

@Boo! I agree that streaming doesn't seem like it should be all that difficult for a large radio station. But that was exactly Cat's excuse for the many ongoing problems with the Ticket stream when he did his AMA on this site a few months ago -- he basically said it is exceptionally complicated to have a working stream that doesn't have shows being constantly interrupted by ads (whenever the stream buffers, it seems). To me of course, that doesn't explain why I don't experience any of these same issues when streaming other radio stations. My working theory is that the other radio corporations bought some sort of streaming technology that Cumulus was too cheap to buy. Either that or Cumulus is completely incompetent when it comes to streaming radio and the other companies have some people who know what they are doing. In any event, it has been clear to me ever since moving from the metroplex to Denver a couple years that Cumulus gives exactly zero s***ts about its streaming listeners.

As far as the McClure ad I don't think they ever play it on the stream, but they constantly play the other one from the lawyer who says she has an advantage because she "knows how women think." I cringe every time I hear that one

Chris K said...

Usually the lawyer nickname is more commonly used by clients. I've never heard a lawyer or a judge say hey bulldog but have heard guys in lockup say thier attorney is the bulldog, etc

Om Greg Hardy, he is very possibly a monster but the reality is most men don't serve any time for the first domestic violence charge (at least not in any DFW counties). It's also extremely common for the victim to not show up in court thus effectively ending the States case. Again, I'm not saying he is a good guy or he didn't do anything wrong but if you factor in the lost income from missing last season and 4 games this year he has paid a higher price than virtually every person convicted of a domestic violence

Anonymous said...

I heard Ian Fitzsimmons on ESPN this morning, subbing for Mike Greenberg. He sounded intelligent and ready for the big national stage and had some great banter going with Golic, CC and Herm Edwards. He really shines when they talk college football.

Boo! said...

@Colorado P1 I get the same feeling. I'm a far east texas resident so streaming is my only option, but even my friends that live in DFW have trouble getting the station over the air. So most people I know stream it regardless of where they live. I understand that inserting ads at the during the commercial break must be a headache but I'm not even complaining about that, I can barely get the station to stream reliably. Also, why do they need separate ads for Streaming vs Over the Air? I assume its a money thing.

In the words of the Reagor Dykes guy, c'mon CTOs don't be a hater before you get to know us streaming listeners we're some of the best guys you know!

Anonymous said...

I heard a little of Fitzsimmons this morning. He still sounds like the pompous, Chris Chris blowhard he was when he bored listeners in DFW. Hearing him with Golic made my butt ache.

Colorado P1 said...

Yes the other major issue with the stream lately is that very frequently, it suddenly skips back and repeats the last 15-20 seconds of show content. This is somewhat less frustrating than the random ad interruptions, but it is still a major beating. I really wish Cumulus would just fix those two issues at least!

Plainsman, you should know that I consider my posts about the horrible streaming experience to be a very positive (albeit backhanded) compliment about The Little Ticket. If I wasn't such a P1 -- which is only because I consistently enjoy their show content more than any other radio station I have ever listened to -- then I would have given up on the stream many months ago. And I am one who thinks there is also quite a bit of potential in the JVers, so there's some more positivity for ya.

Finally, LET'S GO RANGERS!!!

Anonymous said...

Will It's-Only-A-Cow Danny tell us on Monday that UT fans shouldn't be so smug about winning one game?

The Plainsman said...

CONFIDENTIAL TO 1:01 PM ANONYMOUS: Your post was not approved because it violated one of the Rules of the Confessional, which is that accusations that commenters are not who they claim to be on this site are not favored.

I understand that sometimes I let violatons go. Yours wasn't out of line on tone, it just fell on the no-go side of my go-meter.

Sorry.

Having said that, I will reproduce this much of it: To your point that you, unlike the Reddit poster you copied, were OK with The Hardline not talking about the Rangers victory in the last couple of segments of Friday's show:

You wrote: "Anyone who listened to THL over the past 2 days knows that they talked Rangers for 85% of the show. The Concert Calendar, a staple for nearly two decades now, was done during the final waning minutes of the show."

I dunno about the 85%, but still: You know those guys are watching the game. See Danny's e-brake candidacy Friday, where he interrupted the show to make a series of tra-la-la noises where someone had hit a long ball, I forget the exact circumstances. And they throw in little comments on what's happening in the game when something happens. So they knew the Rangers had pulled out another one.

I'm of two minds about them not switching to Rangers talk. Contra you -- This was a huge sports moment in DFW sports history, a 2-0 sweep of the favored team in a divisional series in their home park in 14 innings. They should have ditched the Concert Calendar (1) because it would have been more entertaining and timely and they are a sports station, after all, that employs a baseball deity who was sitting right there, and (2) it would keep people who wanted post-game coverage from switching to the competitor.

Pro-you: Ever since the ratings started getting shaky, The Pan-American Catman has cracked down on keeping on schedule and sticking to the run sheet. They may well not have had the discretion to ditch a scheduled named AND SPONSORED segment to talk Rangers.

One of those behind-the-scenes things we'll never know.

Anonymous said...

What's so annoying about that ad is that her little, "Well, thank you, hmmmph," after the whistle is intended to make it seem like she's annoyed at her looks being noticed rather than her legal prowess...when, of course, she approved the ad copy, the whistle, and the clear implication that she's worth looking at/looking up. Wants it both ways.

Alexander Wolfe said...

I feel as if this blog was written just for me. I Googled "McClure law group commercials" just in the hopes of finding someone who despises them as much as I do. I'm an attorney, and ads like that are why people can't stand attorneys, and I can see why. The kind of guy who would listen to that ad and think "Yeah, she's the attorney for me!" is the kind of douche nozzle that deserves an attorney like that, so maybe it works out in the end.

Anyway, I just heard a new one five minutes ago (which prompted the Google search) where her tone was considerably softer, pleasant music was playing in the background, and there was no mention of the "bulldog" moniker, so maybe they are taking a different tack now. Guess we'll see how long that lasts (or if they're going with both at once.)

Anonymous said...

Sadly I hired Kelly McClure as I was in a pinch and needed immediate help. Wow what a big mistake! I eventually fired her after I realized she was giving advice that only increased her billing, hurt my children and further damaged my relationship with my now ex husband. We now get along fine but it did major, unnecessary damage which took a year to repair. One of my bigger mistakes in life. Be warned, look elsewhere.