Thursday, June 22, 2017

CONFIDENTIAL TO CRAIG "JUNIOR" MILLER: Come Home




Craig, as a fellow cycling enthusiast – but not in your league – I am excited about your cross-country jaunt.

As a Ticket listener, and in particular a daily Muser auditor, I am shaking with withdrawal symptoms.

Please take a right turn in Missouri – I believe I heard it said you were traveling west to east – and return to Dallas.

I am second to none in my near-worshipful admiration of Gordon Keith.  His gifts are staggering.  This site has dedicated entire months to celebrating him.

I also join all of humanity in having enormous affection for George Dunham.  It takes a special kind of talent to be one of those Sara Lee people, one of those people nobody doesn't like.

But, like many very fine things, Gordon is best savored in small portions, served at intervals that leave us looking forward to his contributions.

And George – needs a co-host.

Gordon is a noodger, a baiter, a badgerer, a ceaseless font of freshman debate tricks.  George isn't equipped to respond meaningfully.  Segments bog down before they get rolling.

Craig, I have referred to you as the Fred Astaire of the Ticket.  

"Rita, you won't believe what's coming up in Scattershooting."

 Fred dazzled us with his terpsichorean skills, but on the set he imposed discipline.  You moderate Gordon's behavior in ways George cannot do, and you also occupy air time that Gordon is now called upon to fill, which would be OK if he didn't feel the need to be "on" all the time.   Did we really like it all that much when someone tried to conduct a sincere interview with Robin Williams, or Dangerfield, or Rickles? 

So please abandon your lifelong dream of pedaling the country and come home and take care of the P1s that have made The Musers the most popular radio show in the entire world.

CONFIDENTIAL TO JEFF "USA CATMAN" CATLIN:   Doocy is not a complete solution, since Gordon – after reducing his Doocy-baiting for awhile – can't seem to let go of that bit.  But he way beats an empty chair.   Why he's vanished, I don't know.   But you've got an entire school of JV swarming around the borders of these shows, several of whom the P1 would love to see sitting in with George and Gordon, the same way Jake sits in with Bob and/or Dan.

Fix this shit, Jeff.

I know, guys, but those legs  .  .  .  .

30 comments:

Shaggy said...

"So please abandon your lifelong dream of pedaling the country"

Funny, because I wish that Georgio would abandon his lifelong dream of peddling the country.

The Plainsman said...

Shaggy, if I had some kind of prize I would give it to you. That's a keeper.

Boo! said...

+1 point Shaggy for a funny pun

-1 point Shaggy for saying something mean about George

I did like when corby came in towards the end of the show the past few days, it gave George a broadcaster to talk to and help combat Gordon a little bit.

I give George a lot of credit, broadcasting by yourself for 4 hours is quite a feat...I don't mind this week at all, Junes gets to do something pretty neat, we get sucking on chili dogs humor, a little week of wild ass broadcasting, and next week we get to hear about Junes cycling trip...Honestly this is exactly what makes the ticket weird and great to me.

Anonymous said...

Amen PMan. Love me some Gordo, but was thinking the exact same thing this morning. It was close to radio anthrax. Come home Junes, we miss you and the Ticket needs you.

The Plainsman said...

Just got to thinking:

Why HASN'T Cat assigned a co-host for this show?

Does anyone know why Doocy only sat in for a limited time?

Is it possible that the Musers do not really want JV participation in the showgram? We have Gordon's fairly well-known (or at least widely-perceived, even if incorrectly perceived) friction with the JV. Junior can't even bring himself to populate Tier 2 with any of them; although that's a bit, the reason it's amusing is because it reflects what everyone already believes about Junior's regard for the JV.

Or is the reluctance on the JV side? Some of them may be reluctant to expose themselves to 4.5 hours of Gordon's skewering.

Now, we do have Sean on site and he's been offering some commentary that's been helpful in filling some time, but he's clearly not serving as a co-host. (Really -- why not? Get Justin or someone to do Tickers.) Fernando -- I happen to like Fernando, but he doesn't seem to be in the cadre of JV scrambling for air time.

So why does the most popular show in the radio world seem unable or unwilling to recruit a co-host? (Technically -- why hasn't Cat assigned or recruited one?) Gordon does try, but he spends show time preparing for his several dedicated segments. This morning, he wasn't even listening when George tried to engage him in some talk or other.

Maybe some insider can email me confidentially at ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com with the answer.

Anonymous said...

To: Plainsman
RE: DOOOOOOOOCY

He mentioned sometime on Mon. morning that he was taking the rest of the week for a trip home to see his dad, I believe. I'm sure several will jump in and correct me if I am wrong on that item. Otherwise I believe he would be filling in for most, if not all, of the week.

ellislives said...

I will add to the Shaggy props. That was a painstakingly crafted pun. I noticed that too this morning. I have a WhatsApp group of buddies that share thought on Sports, Movies, Food, our Kids during the day. A bunch of us are P1s from the 90’s. We had more than a couple of comments saying how easy it would be to become a musician with the cash to hire a bunch of professional musicians. I don’t mind Mike plugging his gigs or the Jub Jam stuff but that was over the top. Don’t know the last time a heard a complete song on Best Show or whatever that segment was.

I consume Gordo like I do wasabi...in very small doses. Just enough and my eyes water. Too much and I start gagging. Gordon destroying segments with his over-talking and singing has been too often a cacophony this week.

Let’s face it, short of the all too deceased Rhyner, George and Craig can call the shots at this station. I would say even Gordon is a quarter tier behind them. Gordon works because they put up with him. He was a snowflake before there were snowflakes. I find much of his humor funny but how quickly would he bait one of the JV into something that no one at the station wants (see Norm/Gordo, Sirois/Gordo). The only one I could foresee going toe to toe with Gordy would be Jake. He has an edge, is quick on his toes, and does not lack in confidence. I think Gordon succeeds by being sheltered. I say more doooooce. I like that guy and it’s a skill to fill in with the Muse Crew.

Mrwo said...

Customer service Pope was one of the funniest bits I have heard in a long time. The fact that Gordo was doing it on the fly made it even better. "Just fix the GD satellite" I've been giggling about that for two days

The Plainsman said...

Shaggy got this thread off to a smokin' start. Some good comments in this bunch.

Kyle Foster said...

Relevant to the discussion: This morning on my way into work I punched out of the Rangers discussion, something that never happens on my drive in, and after punching through the wasteland that is music radio in DFW ended up on the FAN. I lingered for a while and realized that part of the reason was that they were having a discussion rather than just one guy talking to me. I never noticed how much that there were multiple points of view and an exchange of information taking place mattered to holding my interest. Granted it didn't hold my interest long and I was back for on the Ticket for the Observation Deck but Junior's absence has illustrated to me that the one man show just doesn't work for me anymore.

nonononever said...

Looks Like the Natureboyz are getting close to the end. Can't wait to hear some segments next week on this race. I usually get up at 5 on Saturdays and do a century without too many problems besides being a little sore. Went out yesterday at 9:30 and was on the bike until 4:30 and only managed 90. My legs were spent and cramped all night. I was a broken man. I can't believe these solo riders can do 400 miles in a day - amazing. I'm curious to hear how Joonz felt when he rides for 45 minutes and then take a break for 7 hours (is my math right on that?). It doesn't seem like it'd be that bad, but that's why I can't wait to hear all the factors that go into it. You definitely don't get these kind of segments on other shows.
Ellislives and I share our views on Gordo, I think. Really like thoughtful Gordo, and if I hear that Jerry and his kids or Chris-Chris are going to be on, I clear the decks to listen. But placenta talk, or just carrying a bit on and on, like it seems happened a lot this week, just wears me out. I agree - why wasn't Seabass a bigger part?

slinky said...

I had to laugh yesterday. I heard some commercial where Corby was saying that he was on a mission to rid the metroplex of some kind of plague. I got ALL excited!! I thought he meant he was quitting the Ticket!

Anonymous said...

Could the lack of not assigning a co-host on the back half of the week be due to cost cutting measures? I have often heard the JV guys say that the real big bucks working at the ticket are if you have the good fortune to fill in on a show. They evidently give a handsome per show lump sum above and beyond their normal salary or hourly rate. I have a feeling when the JV fills in on dry dock for instance they likely get a couple of thousand dollars per week above and beyond...

Could be intense cost cutting by Cumulus HQs??

Jer said...

Originally, the plan was to have Doocy in for two days and Razor in for three. I think George mentioned it on Monday. But something came up and Razor ended up having to cancel.

The problem is, we were already stretched pretty thin with vacations. Sirois was filling in for Donnie, who would've normally been the go-to pinch hitter. Jake was sitting in for Dan, and Monty and Machine were in for Sirois and Jake in their roles. Most of the JV have other jobs during the week, and while it's probably easy for them to say to those bosses when the fill-in schedule is being worked out, "Hey, I need this, this, and this date about a month from now", I'd imagine it's a bit harder for them to do that on the short notice this would've required. If it had been an absolute emergency that left a show without any hosts or a board or ticker shift completely un-covered then I'm sure people would've pitched in and made something happen. You've heard it a few times when ticker guys have had to work extended shifts because someone had to call in sick.

And it still worked out, I think. We had Sean and Fernando pitching in on-air a bit more all week, Corby sitting in the last hour or so Wednesday and Thursday and Norm and Donnie sitting in with George at various points Friday. Was it a perfect solution? Probably not. But Cat and Fake Management (Sean and Killer) did what they could with what we had to work with, and even if it was different, hopefully you guys found something to enjoy about it.

Shaggy said...

I love your body Jer

The Plainsman said...

It is always refreshing when MTC is able to host a communication from someone who actually knows what he is talking about. Our thanks to Jeremy. Pop by any time.

I will say this -- The Musers appear to have a distinct preference for the front-line broadcaster as a fill-in. Doocy is top-choice, and, of course, a perpetual bit. Razor, can't argue with that.

But there are rumblings -- yes, those always-suspect and indistinct rumblings -- that would hold that, in fact, the Musers have drawn some pretty bright lines as to who may and who may not fill in, and on the distant side of that line are all, or most, of the JV. Maybe an exception, maybe two.

Either way, the show wasn't awful after Doocy departed, despite the despair I claimed in the above article. 4.5 hours of George and Gordon is better than one segment of any of the competition.

old fart said...

https://sportsday.dallasnews.com/dallas-cowboys/cowboys/2017/06/19/d-fws-favorite-broadcaster-tournament-vote-makes-round-32

ellislives said...

Some tough first round matchups there….

- I love Gordo but number one seed?

- Norm walks through. Slowly but he walks through

- Sturm versus Cowlishaw. Vote gets called because populace falls asleep during sports debate. Bob wins by jerrymandering of P1 districts

- Junez might as well have been given a bye

- The community gives Donnie Doo Doo the edge over the Snake. Snake voters are too busy making music festival plans

- Rhynes v. Dan. I’m intrigued

- Hot Fried Georgy might as well bring some wings to JJT now

- Aikman is 2:1 to win it all. Strader is solid but has no chance. Get well bud

- Proper seeding for Romes? Has he actually broadcast anything yet? Nadel rolls

- Razor versus Babe? The committee got this wrong. Pitting two titans in the first round? Only the fans lose here

- Emily versun Irvin. Toss-up but Michael wins by a line

- CJ loses in first round but wins rookie of the year

Kyle Foster said...

The CAPTCHA on ever vote will cute down on the voting I think.

Gopher said...

Makes you think someone had a bot trying to skew the voting doesn't it, Kyle.

Pigskin Poet circa 2001 said...

Best part of today's BaD....no Marshall........YiPpEeEeEeEe!!!!

Kyle Foster said...

Was Elmer Wayne's switch from Greggo's cousin to George's cousin ever addressed in character?

Anonymous said...

Well, if ya think Jub need partner, I submit basically four hours solo Gordo. Uh, yeah. Imagine that five hours per day, five days per week, year after year.......no thank you.

Anonymous said...

Good God Almighty, why didn't they just switch to the Beatlles for the morning? That's about 4 too many hours of Gordon for me

James said...

I didn't mind mind Gordo's contributions today.
On an unrelated note, Greggo called me "smarty pants" on Twitter today, so it's been a good day so far. :)

Anonymous said...

Dear god, will mino PLEASE stop playing the corby screaming drop so often on bad and the hardline. It's an automatic punch out. Kills every segment.

Colorado P1 said...

I am a big Jake-Z fan since the days he hosted the Top 10, but his assertion today that Corby could beat Serena Williams in tennis has got to be one of the dumbest statements I've ever heard from anyone on the station. I am glad Bob immediately called him out on it.

It is certainly true that Serena Williams would not be able to beat the top couple hundred professional men's tennis players. As TC said, McEnroe's only real mistake was saying she would be ranked 700, which is just so absurdly low that it instinctively sounds like an insult (even if it might be accurate). But the notion that ANY recreational tennis player in his 40s or at really any age could beat Serena Williams in a tennis match is patently ridiculous. If a male tennis player wasn't good enough to play NCAA tennis then he will definitely never be good enough to beat Serena.

Anonymous said...

Any idea why Mike stopped acknowledging David Mino at the helm a few weeks ago? Corby called him on it when he first did this but Rhynes has continued with the snub now and it seems permanent. He introduces and says hi to Ty, references the traffic girl and Corby but purposely skips over Mino. Not sure if he is pissed at him or if it is a bit.

ellislives said...

We’re in the dog days of summer…the sports black hole, and the crew is round-robin’ing their vacations. Isn’t this worse than dry dock? At least then, it’s all or nothing. You do get a bunch of fill in shows but it’s either punch in or punch out.

It has led me to wonder which of the A-Team shows takes the least step back during one of the full-timers’ absence. Naming the Invasion is easy as Norm was doing a solo show for 30 years before Donnie joined the fray. I have been surprised at how much of a vacuum is left by the absence of one of the Musers. Bob and Dan are relatively yin and yang but a spot start by Jake seems to keep it flying. I don’t want to get anyone trolling again but I really don’t think THL loses much when Corby leaves. Mike’s voice gets a chance to breath, there’s real sports talk not just regurgitation of the previous 3 shows, and Danny can still cover most pop culture stuff.

Anonymous said...

@Colorado P1....the only thing Corby "beats"...is our ass!