[Formerly titled, "Junior Craps Out!!]
This one's a little stale, sorry. Actually, more than a little.
Readers will know that Craig Miller is one of this site's fave raves. I won't go over his many merits at this time. Suffice it to say that Your Plainsman appreciates his analytical approach to SPORTS and his dry sense of humor. I"ve been surprised in the last couple of months to have received some Junior blowback -- some find him sarcastic and thin-skinned and superior-seeming, and there's some truth to that, but those outbreaks are rare and don't sppreciably move the needle for me on the Junior baconometer.But he said something a few weeks ago that has required that I conduct an agonizing reappraisal.
I don't recall how it came up, but the subject was -- toilet paper.
I was astounded to hear Craig say that he preferred the very softest of toilet papers. I believe he may even have mentioned Charmin.
Why would he say a thing like that? Maybe it's all those rough bike rides on those skinny little seats . . . .
It was also rather disturbing that neither George nor Gordon upbraided him severely for this.
Men, Junior being one -- true men, real men, I mean -- do not use Charmin. They use Scott or other more manly, less . . . girly, less . . . liquid toilet papers. In fact, Scott is really the only TP choice for a man, at least since Sears quit publishing catalogues.
Mrs. Plainsman and I were dining once with another couple some years ago and this very subject came up. Who knows how. The other man and I were Scott men. The ladies, Charmin. We guys said almost the same thing, simultaneously -- when required to use Charmin under extreme duress, we felt unclean even after using the reams of Charmin required to accomplish the task.
So I would implore Junior to reconsider his preference in this regard.
At a minimum, arrange a consult on the topic with George DeJohn, who knows a thing or two about cleansing.
