Saturday, January 15, 2011
Junior Wipes Out!!
[Formerly titled, "Junior Craps Out!!]
This one's a little stale, sorry. Actually, more than a little.
I was astounded to hear Craig say that he preferred the very softest of toilet papers. I believe he may even have mentioned Charmin.
Why would he say a thing like that? Maybe it's all those rough bike rides on those skinny little seats . . . .
It was also rather disturbing that neither George nor Gordon upbraided him severely for this.
Men, Junior being one -- true men, real men, I mean -- do not use Charmin. They use Scott or other more manly, less . . . girly, less . . . liquid toilet papers. In fact, Scott is really the only TP choice for a man, at least since Sears quit publishing catalogues.
Mrs. Plainsman and I were dining once with another couple some years ago and this very subject came up. Who knows how. The other man and I were Scott men. The ladies, Charmin. We guys said almost the same thing, simultaneously -- when required to use Charmin under extreme duress, we felt unclean even after using the reams of Charmin required to accomplish the task.
So I would implore Junior to reconsider his preference in this regard.
At a minimum, arrange a consult on the topic with George DeJohn, who knows a thing or two about cleansing.