Tuesday, April 28, 2015

When Will Gordon Have the Courage to Do The Hardline?


I was thinking this morning on the drive in that I'd like to hear a Touchdown Brothers segment (although I thought Gordon's ADD Josh Hamilton was pretty good), when the foregoing thought occurred to me.

Think about it:

--  Distinctive voices.

--  Distinctive, even over-the-top, personalities.

--  Distinctive verbal tics.

--  Endless fresh material.

--  Everyone would get all of the jokes.

--  The jokes would be funny.

There would, of course, be challenges:

--  Who would do all the voices?  I have a very dim recollection that in the past The Musers have employed guest impersonators.  I'd nominate Gordon for Corby, maybe George for Mike, and find some baritone-voiced comic to do Danny.  ALTERNATIVE:  Gordon do all three voices but make it a produced segment, not live, and use the digital voice processor to create amusing facsimiles of one or more of the voices (Danny = absurdly deep and mellow, Corby = absurdly chirpy and brittle).

--  Civil unrest at The Ticket.

--  Accusations of kicking The Hardline when it's down.

Anyway, Gordon, give it some thought.

"The Musers can do what The Hardline does, but The Hardline can't do what The Musers do."


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29 comments:

Anonymous said...

You mean you've never heard the any of the numerous old fake HL bits before? But yeah, I'd love to hear a spoof of today's HL.

The Plainsman said...

I tried to think if I'd ever heard a whole HL bit before that actually aimed at the show presentation rather than some oddball takeoff like "Motorcycle Greggo." I've heard the occasional Rhyner imitations, sure, and some of those old produced bits mainly featuring Greggo, but that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about The Hardline qua Hardline.

If Gordon's assayed anything like that I've missed it, and I haven't missed me much Musers since 2004.

And I've heard nothing that references the, shall we say, evolving sound and feel of The Hard Ones over in recent months. If I've missed it, I'm sure one of you will let me know.

Boo! said...

I would love to hear Gordo doing something like that, like when he spoofed The Hammer as the coach of the buffalo bills. Also his stupie suck go away impression Danny is pretty good in moderation.

I think there needs to be more clowning on each other in general, remember THL and Musers prank war?

Anonymous said...

Gordo did THL-Star Wars parody. It was a tour de FORCE BE WITH YOU.

Rock me.

Anonymous said...

Maybe my memory is failing (and probably is) but has anyone on the station (well, Gordon) ever done a fake corby character?

Anonymous said...

On a somewhat related note, I'm wondering when we will hear the fake Keith Russell (new Channel 11 sports anchor). Maybe when he becomes better known? He's more cheerleader than sports anchor, and he has a voice that begs to be parodied.

The Plainsman said...

What I'm waiting for -- and what will require every ounce of courage Gordon can muster -- is a THL parody of The Presentation, not one where some other situation is populated by THL caricatures.

blergoyen said...

Many years ago there was a D magazine write-up on the Ticket, how it started, the players, etc. There were interviews with most of the main cast regarding what or how they thought it grew to what it had become at the time. Ryner and Greggo did a segment (or two, or three) discussing the article and verbalizing their thoughts on radio regarding what had been put in print. The next day or so, Gordo, and maybe he alone, did his own take on those segments. One line will always stand out in my head to this day. It was Fake Greggo speaking to Fake Ryner saying, "Hey Rhynes, remember that time we invented air?" The Fake Rhyner said something like "yeah, that was pretty cool." It was a pretty good nutshell of the way the article was discussed by THL at the time.

Now that Rhyner is giving corky all kinds of hell for being featured in Lake Highlands Today with lines like, "Me and Julie love craft beer, Foo Fighters, My Morning Jacket and The Family Guy," or somesuch, I think it would be a good opportunity for Gordo to re-visit the fake THL and this particular discussion.

Arky P1 said...

I really enjoyed the HL segment yesterday when they were kicking Corby in the balls for being on the cover of Highland Park Life. Mike was really engaged. I was laughing in my car.

Shaggy said...

CUMULUS! THE POWER OF SAVING CASH!

http://i.imgur.com/acMJdqr.png

Anonymous said...

Does anyone actually like the Tom Grieve Show? I mean it is unlistenable. Even the most hardcore Ranger fan has to punch out on that right?

Charles Golden said...

@Anon - April 29, 2015 at 2:06 PM

Couldn't agree more on Grieve, the more I hear the more I shake my head and just think "why am I listening to this."

He's out of touch old man on just about every talking point. He never has anything interesting to bring to the conversation and I'd rather hear from just about any member of the Rangers radio or TV broadcast. For some reason I think they'd have alot of fun with Mark McLemore.

Anonymous said...

Yes Gordon has done a fake Corby. He calls him Chris Chris.

Agree on Grieve would also prefer McLemore or even Emily. She usually gives THL gold when they have her on.

Rocka Rolla said...

I had to turn off The Musers this morning. I can't take the socio-political-current-events-talk. It was AWFUL to the nth degree. I wish Cat or whomever actually wields authority up there would put a cease and desist on all such talk. I don't care what friggin' side of the aisle any opinion whatsoever falls along. Enough. I don't give a rat's ass about Jub's or Gordon's (don't get me started on barstool sociologist/psychologist/philosopher Gordo) thoughts on the riots in Baltimore. Yes, there is a sports tie in with the terrible situation (Orioles' game being played to an empty stadium/home stand moved to Tampa Bay--unprecedented in MLB history). But they went waaaaaay beyond it. Way beyond it.

Like Barstool Gordon, don't get me started on Corby and Danny. Ugh. Vomit. I did read Corby's "My Kickass Life In Lake Highlands" interview. Holy smackerals. You'd think he and his wife were some young hip 20something couple in Brooklyn. To call Corby's answers obnoxious is to soft-pedal them. I'll leave it at that.

I miss The Hardline. I really do. Thanks for ruining it with your sorriness, Greggo. Thanks for ruining what was left of it, Mike and his love affair with tribute bands. Thanks for ruining it beyond repair, Cat and his decision to allow Mike to coast disinterestedly along while letting THL become the Corby and Danny Show of the Uninformed and Shallow.

Anonymous said...

Totally agree that The Tom Grieve Show is a beating of the highest order. Tom Grieve the announcer, who used to be one of my favorites, has also become a beating of the highest order. He's now the mother of all homers. He's become such a company man that, it's affected his broadcasting. Besides, he was instrumental in getting Josh Lewin out of here, which was a huge mistake. Plus he's contentious as hell on BaD. Unless Bob and Dan are offering fresh cut daisies for Tom and the Rangers, it's as if he's looking for a confrontation.

I guess Tom figured out that if you say nothing but good things, find no fault with any player or situation, and offer excuses--no matter how inane--for any and all negatives, your job security is high and your life is much easier in general. But man does it make for dreadful broadcasting.

Anyone catch Dan Balls chiding Cruddy for possibly alienating a good portion of listeners today? I wonder if Mr. Flask checks in here? Seems like he might.

Anonymous said...

Gordo's Fake Norm is terrible. Wish Jub would take control of that character again. Junes Fake Rick Gosselin is pretty funny but Gordo's Norm is a punch out. Absolute noise polution.

What happened to Ribby on draft day? Such a better bit.

Charles Golden said...

Speaking of 8:40 bits, after just hearing Norm comment on the fake Norm, what if they could work in that real person with Gordo/George's fake persona of them? I have no idea how it would work but it sounds funny and uncomfortable in my head.....

Also I remember several years ago they put out the call for listeners to prepare their own 8:40 bits and then they took calls during that segment just listening to peoples' characters. It was mostly funny because of how bad the calls were and how easy it was to make fun of them but it was entertaining none the less.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, Norm, but draft talk/coverage beats me to high holy.

In women's decathlon . . . . . . . . . in hockey news, the Ticket has announced a hockey show Sundays at noon.

http://starsblog.dallasnews.com/2015/04/the-ticket-will-start-broadcasting-sunday-hockey-program-this-week.html/

The Plainsman said...

Gordon's Fake Norm is excellent EXCEPT when he has him (1) start talking too fast, (2) working too blue, and, worst of all, (3) shriek-laughing, which is indeed a punchout. When he plays Norm straight (?) and conversationally, it's genius.

As is Gordon's entire Jay Leno impersonation.

Arky P1 said...

I agree, I usually like Gordo's fake Norm, but today was way over the top.

Will anyone other than Bob listen to the Stars show on Sunday afternoons?

KP in Dallas said...

I've been wondering about this for awhile but does anyone else think they should do less 8:40 bits? Maybe just twice a week rather than 4-5. I used to love 8:40 but I find myself being more beaten by the repetitiveness of many of the longstanding fake characters.

I also would love to see them completely end the replay at 6:40 but I understand a lot of P1s aren't able to listen to the original bit at 8:40.

gunther said...

That is unadulterated blasphemy KP.

Anonymous said...

The Hardline definitely needs more Chris Rock. This segment is amazing.

Anonymous said...

I have to confess. I have finally punched out of THL. I have been an all day listener for years but for the first time yesterday I couldn't take it anymore and actually tried out 105.3. After WTDS, the show has become a disaster and it pisses me off. I LOVED this show for years but the Corby/Danny 3 hour gab fest sounds more like what my wife watches on The View than the old Hard Line we all loved. I will swing by from time to time, but as a daily listener I am out and very sad about it.

blergoyen said...

Unfortunately a lot of P1s get sick of the bits because it's been 20years of the same or modified bits and people run out of material. I still laugh at most of it, but not as hard as I did once. I'm not sure it's fair to expect any new groundbreaking material from them at this point in their careers.

BTW, did anyone hear the 4:25 THL segment today on Chris Rock and baseball? They played excerpts of Chris Rock discussing how baseball is losing ground because it's disconnected from black culture. Rock made a Tea Party joke and corky almost caused his own anal prolapse from force-laughing so hard at the Tea Party joke. I'm curious what anyone else thought of the "Amen brutha!" "Preach brutha!" "I hear ya brutha!" reactions from Danny and corky. Are corky and Danny that in tune with Black culture? Maybe they are, who knows.

T4 In Rockwall said...

I would like a revisit of the Fake Bob Ortegel and, somehow...Fake Juan Gonzales. Hu Hu how you say...

Anonymous said...

Don't feel bad @4:33, change is needed almost everywhere except maybe the Musers. I've been tuned out on Norm and BaD for awhile now, and am not coming back until they make one major change. Not hard to guess what that is.

Scruffy said...

Scattershooting wondering whatever happened to that weekend Ticker kid that Plainsman thought was the second coming...

Agreed on Grieve being a complete beating. The broadcast is a barely-veiled Rangers infomercial now, and he's a big part of the bland, generic corporate POV. We need a completely new TV booth, and I won't dream of getting Nadel there even though it'd be great.

Also agreed on recent fake Norm. Gordon devolved it to a shrieking mess. And more Chris Chris or Dylan, less Clarence or Jessie.

Hardline was fantastic going over the J-Ham return. But that's a diamond surrounded by poopoo anymore. Speaking of Hamilton, I'm convinced the guy is a complete moron and a d-bag, so while he's getting paid peanuts here, he's still not worth the hassle. He's clubhouse cancer no matter what numbers he puts up.

So is Mino going to grow beyond being a parrot with drops? 80% of his drops are just keyed off a word someone just said. I know he's still learning, but the difference between the genius of Jer and him are striking. Jeremy is a maestro. The name/frying pan combo in response to the Baltimore mom was the absolute brilliance he does all the time. Relevant but hilariously creative. And compared to Mino wearing out the Norm "pre" drop, I think it's a contributing factor towards BaD and HL seeming stale.

The Plainsman said...

Which Tickerman, Scruffy? There have been a few interesting new ones lately. I don't recall jubilating excessively over one in particular.