MY HOTTEST STD EVER

[For new readers:  STD = Scorching Ticket Disquisition.]


Your Plainsman attempts to keep a moistened finger in the air, but one doesn't have to be terribly perceptive to realize that The Hardline, and especially one Mr. Corbett Davidson, has been  much on the mind of the Confessor Nation over the past couple of weeks, even though I'm not writing a whole lot about them.  Let's review:


T4 in Rockwall, a frequent Confessor, writes:


"Don't mean to switch gears, but every since Barry Switzer said the other day that they (the Hardline had him on) were shock jocks, I've been listening extra hard (no pun intended)and do notice that it seems to be all that Corby knows. That is to act like a shock jock probably 70% of the time. I think that's where he's failed since Greggo left and he's had to fill in on a full time basis. I personally thought he was very good when he was a yuck monkey full time. Since then, nothing but down hill."

Anonymous picks up the thread:

"I think T4 is on to something. The Hardline is a lazy show. It's only getting lazier. I was hoping that the return of the Russ Martin Show and RaGE would kick it in the ass and help it return to its former greatness. It hasn't. One of its "competitors" (RMS) barely has a pulse and seems to lose listeners with each ratings period, while the other (RaGE) is so far away from being a threat that it might as well not exist. Hell, without the infinitely deep pockets of CBS, RaGE wouldn't have made it this far. Yes, like the rest of The FAN's programming, it's that bad to mediocre.

"The Hardline has become nothing more than a somewhat less puerile audio version of The Dallas Observer. It's all fluff and baseless, highly slanted opinion. I for one don't miss Greggo. He became a caricature of himself. He became Triple Fake Greggo. But what I do miss is the days prior to bands, constant music talk, E and Community News, and "she's a pig" talk. Talk that takes up damn near the entire 4 hours. It's just lazy."

Oh, my treasured Confessors, the piling on is just beginning, starting with another blast from T4:

"A bit [referring, I think, to Corby's general Corbiness] or not, he was nearly unlistenable yesterday. I want to totally punch out when he's doing that crap. Wouldn't it be sad if the likes of Corby types were the end of the Ticket as we know it? I know they're still #1 in the ratings, but I believe they turn more listeners off with their shock jock rants than they bring in.

"I know Rhyner adapts to what's around him, and could and would change to whoever's working with him, but I believe that's all Corby has."

blergoyen considers the reasons for Corby's ascension to co-host:

"I suspect it was two fold: (1) he did a good job endearing himself to Mike by playing the entertaining, "up for-any-gag-nephew" to Mike's "dirty uncle," and (2)given corby's instinctual need to dominate every conversation, Mike knew he could talk as much, or as little as he wanted, sit back and enjoy semi-retirement with a large pay check as long as he wanted. I think I saw someone comment on this blog and make that 2nd point a while back."


Anonymous -- who knows whether it's a different one or not -- has an interesting perspective:


"I wish they would cut way back on the blue. They don't need it; they are (well, at least at one time were) better than that. Don't know if anyone here is still watching The Office, but if you are, you see the same thing occurring: a program and a showgram that's run out of ideas and has now devolved into one over the top blue scene or segment after another. The overall quality of the each show suffers greatly. But both shows are ratings monsters (though not as much as they once were), and so I don't see where or how improvement implemented. Much like The Office, I think we are watching the final couple of seasons of The Hardline (at least in its current configuration)."

T4 is on a roll:  


"As far as the topic here, it used to be ok working blue when it was occasional. Now, like I said in the previous thread, it seems it's all they have. Corby being immature and Danny giving in to him. I believe if they replaced Corby with any number of people, The Hardline would be total greatness again. "


The always sensitive and astute duckandcover observes:


"I would like to think that sooner rather than later there will be a reconfiguration of The HL. I feel the same as some of the Anons and T4. It's grown stale, lazy, and I think they're better than where the show is now/what it's become. What's the answer? Dunno. But maybe it involves Danny sliding over into a fulltime host position, allowing Jake to take the producer helm with TC manning the board. Or maybe the other way round, with Jake remaining on the board while TC produces. The thing is, for all of you/us that wish Corby wasn't a part of the show, he's not going anywhere. So the only way I see it being revamped is by the scenario above. Maybe, just maybe, a serious Danny influence would muffle Corby's influence and right the ship, somewhat. Yes Danny will play into Mike and to some extent Corby's fascination with music talk, but he also is very sportsy. Something needs to happen. If there was any program even half way decent running against them, I have a feeling we'd see changes ASAP. Because the show has sunk pretty low."

DRW1961, an MTC stalwart, writes:


"It's just another manifestation of the "overCorbyization" of the Hardline. He doesn't have enough talent to do his job the way it should be done, so he resorts to high school humor. 

"I'll take it another step further and say that I wish they wouldn't rely so much on the "ass"es and the "son of a bitch"es as well. And, I cringe when I hear a station spot with "bullsh" in it. I'm not a prude, but I think they lower themselves to a level that they really shouldn't lower themselves to with all that nonsense."

*     *     *

All of this -- plus constant harping from Confessors looking for more interesting original Plainsman content -- inspires me to cut loose with what may well be my all-time most controversial STD, yes, even more controversial than my multi-part analysis of BaD Radio, and here it is:

I like Corby Davidson.

You want some more of this?

I like The Hardline.

Yes, much of what The Nation says is true:  I could do with a less vulgar showgram, as I have written on many occasions; I could do with some show prep; I could do with greater attention to reigning in the OverCorby who sometimes appears; I've noted the salutary effect of Danny's increased participation on several occasions.  I could do with less Wire, showbiz, and comment on the same half-dozen musical acts.  In general, I could do with a more mature approach to pretty much everything about The Hardline, including Corby's contributions.

But as I sit back and consider The Hardline and alternative radio offerings as a whole, I can come to only one conclusion:

Corby Davidson is a notable and unique radio talent.  No one on the Philco sounds anything like him. I would say that of my laugh-out-loud moments from all programs on The Little One over the past several years, more than half of them are accounted for by Corby.  He's got native intelligence; he can be witty (not in Danny's galaxy, but he can surprise you); he's one of The Ticket's best serious interviewers, if not the very best.  He complements Mike.

If Corby disappeared from The Hardline tomorrow, I'll bet that even those of you who are weary of him for all of the reasons set forth above would miss him terribly.

That's not to say that The Hardline doesn't need to step up its game.  When I started this site in 2009, I thought The Hardline was in trouble.  Mike was seriously disengaged, there was too much Corby.  The showgram was way out of whack.  I thought it started to right itself in late 2010, and to my way of hearing -- while the show does suffer from the problems identified above -- it's continued pretty strong.  I'll confess (of course) it's seemed lazier than normal the past month or so, but nothing alarming and nothing that leads me to want a huge change in the showgram (except more Danny).  

But I just don't find it the mess that some of our faithful Confessors do.  

So right now, although I give it to them from time to time and will continue to do so, I'm pretty on board with Mike, Corby, Danny, Ty, and Jake.

I know the last two posts have already prompted extensive comments on Corby and The Hardline, but I hope you will continue to offer your thoughts on this most unusual, and, to my mind, entertaining of shows and its very singularly gifted broadcasters.

*     *     *

Follow Your Plainsman on Twitter:  @Plainsman1310

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WEBCAM QUICK HIT: My Lord, with Corby's Hair Long, Parted in the Middle, and Smashed Down on His Head with the Headphones . . .

.  .  .  he DOES look like Ruth Buzzi!

Sorry, I don't know how to snag images off the webcam.  If anyone does and can grab one of Corby, pass it along and I'll copy it in here, with thanks.

Or, if anyone has any pictures of Corby looking like Ruth Buzzi.

PS:  Confessor triplespluscv  (many thanks!)  was kind enough to snag an image of Corby that gives you a bit of a flavor.  The head-on shot would show Corby's very nice part in the middle, which adds to the Buzziness of the look:

Correction to "Confessional Quick Hits" (March 18), Quick Hit (1)

In my report on the number of ancestors to be examined if one searches one's ancestry back 20 generations, I calculated that the number to be examined was 2 to the 20th power, or 1,048,575 people. That is incorrect – that's only the number of people in the 20th generation. The aggregate number of people to be examined in all generations is (2 to the 20th) + (2 to the 19th) + (2 to the 18th) + . . . . + (2 to the 1st). The actual number of ancestors back to the twentieth generation – counting your parents as the first generation – is 2,097,150.

Your Plainsman apologizes for this gross error.

Confessional Quick Hits

Couple of thoughts from the broadcast day:

(1)  20 Generations.  In discussing the new Lisa Kudrow show about searching for ancestors, Corby (jokingly, I think) talked about going back "20 generations."  That isn't so crazy, necessarily, since 20 generations is about 500 years, which takes us back to the 1500s, which isn't that far from when Danny's ancestors came over on the Mayflower, or whatever it was he was claiming.  However, if one really did try to go back 20 generations, he would be examining a large number of people -- 2 to the 20th power, to be exact.  That works out to 1,048,575 people.

(2)  What Were the Rangers Thinking?  In listening to today's conversations about why the Rangers didn't fire Ron Washington, I didn't hear this one (but I usually don't get to hear Norm or BaD Radio, so they may have touched on it):  The Rangers were for sale at that tme.   Disarray and lack of discipline would have made the team (admittedly, only marginally) less attractive to purchasers, and that would have been an issue only if Washington had been fired (since the the whistleblower was not blabbing at the time).  There was no likely successor to Wasington in place at that time.  So it made more sense to stay the course and disclose Washington's issue to shoppers at such time as they were doing their "due diligence" on the Rangers.  

(3)  More Ron Washington.  Gordon sensibly asks, "wasn't the world a better place without HR?"  Sure. But HR didn't explode on the scene in the last 25 years all by itself.  It was compelled by the interference of courts and legislatures in hiring and firing decisions.  Some of this interference has been necessary (ending certain kinds of discrimination), but a whole helluva lot of it has been absolute nonsense (forbidding employers from making reasonable distinctions between good and bad employees and imposing their own notions of "fairness" on the hiring and firing process).  My point here is that you can bet that the Washington situation was far more drenched in legal considerations than HR considerations.

(4)  Another Unbelievable Bear-Trap.  The one Gordon just told about the guy who was holding forth on "Wayne" as a middle name.  It was going fine until the wife says "Didn't I tell you his father killed his mother and went to the chair"?  He said, "no, I don't remember that."    First, if this were true, of course she would have told him.  And this supposedly wasn't the first time they were getting together.  Second, if she had told him about it, one of them would have remembered.  Third, there were very few executions taking place during the time when that mother and father would have been alive.  Fourth, the electric chair was not a common method of execution during that period.  Fifth  .  .  .  hell, it doesn't make any sense and it didn't happen the way the bear-trap guy says it did, if it happened at all. 

The Bear Trap Contest is starting to become like Hypothetical Thursday -- what I call "NPR Moments," because that's when I am compelled to change the channel for a few minutes until the inauthentic broadcasting abates.

(5)  Junior v. Keith.  No, not that Keith.

Junior said he feared Keith Olberman's intellect.  He needn't worry.  Olberman is glib but his intellect is a mile side and an inch deep.  Junior's intelligence is far more subtle and penetrating.  He could hold his own and, after enduring a verbal barrage or two, would prevail in any debate.  Any debate about cycling, anyway.

(6) Baby Doll Ad.  I was really disappointed to hear this ad a little after 5 pm Wednesday.   I've heard other sports-radio stations (other markets) run these ads for "gentlemen's clubs."    The station will run them for awhile, then station management awakens to how awful they sound and how cheap they make the station seem.  And the station stops accepting those ads.  Put aside the content -- the chicks they get to read that copy all sound stupid and amateurish.   Same with The Ticket.   Those smarmy ads never fit in with The Ticket and after awhile they went away.  Then there was the Baby Doll ad yesterday, which was the sleaziest, smuttiest ad for a strip joint I have ever heard.  Same stupid amateur chick reading it.   It came as close to a soliciation for prostitution as you're ever going to hear on the radio.  It almost makes me wonder if, despite the great numbers for The Ticket, the economy has made it hard to get the rates The Ticket needs to pay all the on-air talent.

I wish all Confessors a fine weekend.

Corby Misuses "Meshuggenah"

While the station is on hiatus, here's a throwaway observation:

Corby misuses the Yiddish term "meshuggenah." It is heard most frequently when the group is talking about the ambush of Billy Joel, when Corby referred to "meshuggenah comedian Alan King," or words to that effect.

I think Corby must think that "meshuggenah" means "ethnic Jewish Catskills-type," because "meshuggenah" does not describe Alan King in the slightest. "Meshuggenah" means crazy, real crazy, wildly insane. It is not an adjective one pairs up with "comic" or "comedian." (One also sees it used as a noun, to refer to a person or a quality.) If you Google "meshuggenah comic" or "meshuggenah comedian," you come up with nothing.

Mark Elfenbein uses it in a punning way to refer to Michigan fan Stewart Cedar ("Mr. Meshuggenah"), which is perfectly fine. (My notes on Elfenbein's ethnic approach here.)  But Corby needs to brush up on his Yiddish.

My Ticket Confession -- I'm Worried About the Hardline

As any regular reader (?) knows, I've been concerned about the Hardline for awhile. I always issue two preliminary thoughts: (1) I favored Hammer's departure, and (2) Corby does not suck. However, I have come to think over the months, now years, that have followed, that the show has lacked balance. Love Corby, Love Danny, but they're overwhelming Mike, whose show it more or less is. The problem is balance – the show has lost it.

Oh yeah, there's a third thing I usually try to remind myself – why would anyone think that something as wildly successful as the Hardline is – still is – needs to be fixed? Well, good question. But it's My Ticket Confession – I love the damned thing, but I sometimes I wish it were better.

I've been thinking about a solution I've been meaning to post for awhile, but it would be a multi-parter and needs a little context. In the meantime, let me throw this out:

The Hardline has gotten a lot more vulgar in the last few months. I'm not a prude and past levels of profanity and misogyny seemed to me acceptable for afternoon drive radio. Let me put it this way: Used to be, when my wife was in the car, she could enjoy the Hardline with me. Now, I have to quickly turn to something on satellite before the next clinical reference to female genitalia. In general, the references to women have gotten pretty difficult to listen to. The profanity is also out of control -- effective in small doses, it's now Stern Lite.

Yeah, it's successful, but it's starting to sound cheap and lazy. I listen every day, I love it a lot, but I worry about the Hardline. I really do.

Hm.

Entertainment News (for You) not sponsored all week. 

Holiday week maybe not a big ratings week?  I dunno, lots of people with non-work time to listen to the radio.  Mike made mention of it today.  "A clean sweep," he said.

Mike Checks Out

Sorry I've been away.

Anyone else getting the impression that Mike is losing interest?

Late the week before last, I think it was, the Hardline interviewed Mark Followill, always a good segment.

Except that it wasn't exactly a Hardline interview. It was a Corby interview.

Nothing wrong with that. Corby is knowledgeable about the Mavericks and he did a good job, as he usually does. And I didn't hear every syllable of this interview, but I did not hear Mike utter a single word.

This is symptomatic of the continuing imbalance in the Hardline showgram.   Mike just sort of shows up.  He seems not to be terribly interested in the proceedings.  He seems not to know what segments are coming up.  The guys kid about the lack of preparation for the show, and that's fine, we love them for their informality in conducting something as precisely timed as broadcasting usually is, but when the lack of preparation – and interest -- begin affecting the show, the hand begins to reach for the dial

The Hardline on Channel 11

Fun to see Mike and Corby holding forth on the poor Cowboy Stadium acoustics Channel 11 news last night.

It would be interesting to know how those cameras got to that remote.  No, I don't mean what kind of van, I mean why were they there?  Did someone at 11 know of Corby's U2 fanatacism and check to see if the boys would be discussing stadium acoustics?  Or did the station alert Channel 11 that the Hardline would be unloading on the Stadium, and are you looking for some video bites?

Finally, I wonder whether the presence of the cameras prompted an unusually heated reaction from both of them.  When I was listening that afternoon, I was startled by the vitriol issuing from them both, then saw that this was the passage that was broadcast at 10 pm.

Nah.

Corby Sounds Unwell

Is the night life catching up with him?

Does he have some upper-respiratory problem that he can't shake?

Has he been hanging out with Greggo?

Is his voice finally changing?

In any event, his voice has been lacking its customary boyish chirp for the last few weeks.  Some days he sounds like he just woke up.  Anyway, best wishes for a speedy recovery.

U2 Much

OK:  A segment or two per show on the upcoming or just-past U2 concert.

NOT OK:  Two weeks of all U2 all the time. 

They slip in some sports and pop culture and reg'lar dude commentary from time to time, but the U2 talk is deadly.  It's not that it's not sports.  I don't really care about that.  It's just not interesting and it is very, very repetitive.

The Hardline -- The Curtains Part (Slightly)

The Hardline boys made one of their rare forays into commenting on the nature of their partnership today. I forget the context, but Corby had said something naughty, and Mike was complaining that if he had said it, the music would have come down and it would have been dumped. Danny then referred to Mike as the “Patriarch” of the show by way of suggesting that Mike’s role was to “keep the monkeys in line” (and, the implication was, to lend some dignity to the proceedings by virtue of his age and seniority). That is, Danny and Corby were arguing that they were allowed to get away with impish misbehavior that Mike should not be associated with and should be discouraged from pursuing. Mike objected that he wanted to be every bit as disruptive (I forget the actual word he used) as monkeys Corby and Danny.


Corby and Danny were right, and this supports something I have written several times in the past:  The one thing missing from the Hardline program since the departure of Greg Williams (which I favored) is balance. Mike has become infantilized because he can’t compete with the barrage of juvenilia issuing from the Danny-Corby axis in the way he used to, when he had some support, however sporadic, from the Hammer. He can’t beat ‘em, so he’s been trying to join ‘em, and it’s a little sad to hear.

I actually have a solution to what I perceive in this one problem with the Hardline, and I’ll sketch it out sometime in the future. (Would need to stretch over a few posts.)  In the meantime, I thought today’s colloquy showed some interesting program self-awareness.

The Corby + Shaq Show?

Yesterday, Corby reported that while on vacation he had received a call from someone purporting to be a representative either of Shaquille O'Neal or Sirius/XM Satellite Radio. The caller stated that Shaq was slated to do a radio show for the network and had suggested Corby as a possible co-host. Corby was modest and claimed not to be interested; Mike urged him to follow-up on it.

This would be an extremely cool call to get. And the whole Corby/Shaq friendship arising out of Corby's radio-bit approaches to him, seems genuine and is makes for great radio when Shaq's around. What I found interesting, though, is that Corby, scammer extraordinnaire, did not betray the slightest suspicion that maybe, just maybe, he was being set up.

Chances are, he wasn't. Chances are, the guy on the phone gave sufficient evidence of his bona fides that Corby concluded it was the real thing. Still . . . prolific scammers really need to be alert for their victims looking for opportunities for vengeance. Could even be Shaq setting him up . . . .

Today's Wife Swap

I thought it was refreshing to hear Mike on the Musers and Junior with the Hardline. Both shows were good, with an exception.

Mike's level needed some brightening. Sounded like he was in a different studio in a different state.

Exception: The "Corby and Danny Speak Their True Minds During Junior's Bicycle Hero Story" bit was so stagey, so written (not that they were trying to conceal it), and so annoying, that it wins the Most Failed Bit of 2009 award and the year is only half over. I was listening to the show on a good stereo and the thing was incoherent and, when audible, a one-joke bit that went on and on. (And the underlying Bicycle Hero story was kind of interesting.) Other than that, a pretty good show. Junior holds his own with those two scamps.

Where's Greggo? How's Greggo?

I'm surprised at how little comment there has been in the blogosphere about the abrupt departure of Greggo from the ESPN evening show. I tuned in a couple of times in mid-run, didn't hear much of anything that made me want to keep listening, although he seemed coherent at the time. I was glad that he was trying to make a comeback, we all root for those American second acts. It wasn't beyond imagining that if he cleaned up his act he might one day rejoin the Hardline. Stranger reconciliations have happened in show biz.

But now -- gone, and nothing much I can find on what's up with him.

I was one of those who thought that Corby and Mike (and the rest of the staff) behaved about as well as one can behave when confronted with the unreliability of the addict. There were a lot of folks out there, though, who carried some special reserve of bile for Corby, blaming his opportunism for the Hardline's problems. Given Hammer's repeat performance at ESPN, that position is pretty difficult to maintain.

The Corby Question

In general, Corby does not suck. He has his broadcasting weaknesses. Too many things are the best or worst of whatever category is up for discussion. Too many "no way"s. Other things we can get into. But he's reliably listenable.

When Greg Williams left the Hardline, we all waited with bated breath to see if Michael and Corby could keep the high-wire act going. In a way, it seems almost impertinent to comment on it, because their amazing success has continued and, if anything, they're doing better than ever. So, you know, who needs any critique of the show? Even Corby's detractors really have to admit that his elevated profile has not wrecked the show for most of its audience. Personallly, I thought the decline of the show in general was becoming pretty apparent in the better part of a year before Hammer's bailout, and I'm one who was glad to see him go. Know that not everyone shares that opinion, but his misogyny, gratuitous vulgarity and obvious lack of show preparation was detracting from my enjoyment of the ride home. So the Corby & Michael show, for me, was an automatic improvement.

But this begs the question as to whether it could be better, and now, more than a year-and-a-half after Greggo's departure, I think the answer is yes. As I say, it's a confession -- I like the two Michaels and Corby and Danny a lot, but I gotta say: The show is overweighted to Corby and Danny, aided and abetted by Gruber. The post-Greggo makeup of the show entirely changed not only Mike's role, but his personality. Whereas he was the appealing Old Grey Wolf before, now he's on the defensive against the onslaught of the youngsters (who aren't all that young). For lack of a better word, he needs an ally to free him to reassert some adult control over the program and restore the appeal of his Greggo-era persona. He needs his own sidekick.

Preliminary Considerations

Like hundreds of thousands of other persons living in the DFW metro area, I spend a lot of time with The Ticket. Like most of them, I defend it vigorously against its detractors; and, like most of them, I suffer through those cringe-inducing moments and from time to time wish that they would make a policy change here or there.

Back when Greggo departed the station, I went in search of blogs where contributors and commenters stretch a bit -- perhaps think before they type, try to introduce some strong original thinking beyond the "CORBY SUXX!!!!" or "STAY HARD GREGO!!!" The contributors to Richie Whitt's blog were pretty solid, I thought, but Richie isn't writing about the Ticket every week, and after awhile it petered out and got stale. Thought I'd try to start a little something permanent along those lines.

As I say, there are those moments, those shows, and sometimes . . . sometimes, those hosts that drive you nuts and you want to reach out to management and say -- this could be better.  But the moment passes, pretty soon you're chuckling absent-mindedly about something someone says, and you realize that it's like a family.  More than that -- it is family.

And that -- the affection behind the agitation -- is My Ticket Confession.