Drydock Tock + Happy Birthday to MTC

Let's have some.

I'll start.  I was glad to hear The Shake Joint in the ayem, but was sorry to think that I would not have the pleasure of hearing Jake on with Dan McDowell.

I was in error.  I was able to tune in midday yesterday, and there they were.

I like Bob, I like Dan, and I like BaD, but BaD bogs, boy does it bog.  But Jake and Dan do not bog.  Jake keeps things moving and maybe I'm just imagining this, but it seems to me that Dan steps his game up with this pairing.

Gotta run.  Gimme some drydock thoughts.

ALSO:  Please keep a good thought for this My Ticket Confession internet online website, which is celebrating its ninth anniversary.  Yep, Your Plainsman went live on June 30, 2009, with none other than that Nice Young Michael Gruber as its first non-test commenter (although not on the first article, as I recall).  Hope to keep this joint going for awhile longer.  Thanks to all readers and those of you who take the time to comment.  Hope to meet some of you someday.

More Questions for Knowledgeable Confessors

All right, we need to lighten up around here.   Let's have a spot of fun, eh?  Also, if we have some new Confessors from the incredible runup in visitors over the last week, a good way to get started with the site.

Quite awhile go I posted "Questions for Knowledgeable Confessors" and laid out some questions about station history and bits that I -- a listener only since 2004 -- was curious about.  We heard from our friends at The Ticket (Michael Gruber proved a fine historian) and got most if not all of them answered, and Confessors knew some answers.  Now, with many times the readers I had then, I'll bet we can get these answered, too.

I have a little list going, most of them mine, some of them from others.  I encourage you to ask your own questions in the comments about bits, phrases, inside gags, characters, performers, anything you've been wondering about.  Let's see if we can't all get up to speed with the many mysteries of the greatest radio station in the world.

Thanks in advance for helping out.  Here we go:

     (1)  What is the significance and humor value of "babyarm"?

     (2)  Who is Pete Stein, what did Mike and/or Greg do to him, and was it a dark moment in Hardline history?  Is that where the "3  .  .  .  2  .  .  .  aaaaannnd you're done" drop comes from?

     (3)  I think this drop was destroyed with the move to Victory, so maybe not worth answering.  There was a drop that was played when someone would make a cheesy joke, the drop was a rimshot with a guy hollering out something that sounded like "what about me".  Michael Gruber said that he was saying "from the northeast," an occasional reference in Gordon's characters, but after that explanation I listened to it closely and I can't pull those words out of it.   I say, this one's probably a dead letter.

     (4)   Here's one I had on the list but got an answer to just a few weeks ago: Where do Corby’s and Danny’s “doin’ the Greggo” clips come from in George D's Jaggeresque Community Quick Hits theme?  I believe the answer  is that some people thought that George was saying "everyone loves doin' the Greggo," and Corby and Danny recorded those clips to play over George's vocal.  

     (5)  What ad did George do that has his kids (I think they're his) cheering followed by George saying “Yeah, the kids like that"?

     (6)  I know what the “one ball” line is – wait, actually, I don't – but what does the name mean? 

     (7)  Who plays guitar on the Hardline theme song?

     (8)  What is the Teebox theme song with that marvelous gutbucket guitar?

     (9)  Where does that clip “Whiskey, all you want” come from, and has it been lost in the bungled move to Victory?

    (10)  For some reason, it sounds like Brent Spiner (in his guise as the inventor of Data) saying "it's time, buddy, it's time."  But I can't find any reference to it online, with or without Brent Spiner.  Where does it come from?

     (11)  Does The Ticket have any idea of the amount of its archives (drops, classic audio) lost or destroyed in the bungled move to Victory?  What exactly happened, anyway?  How could that possibly happen, giving the incredible ease in copying files and moving gigantic amounts of data these days?  

     (12)  What is that infectious country-swing pedal steel number they play under Ticket promos from time to time?  Just a canned snippet for radio stations, or part of a real song?  Love that.

    (13)  Does George Dunham (among other hosts) really not know how to pronounce Norm's last name, or is it a station bit?  I was going to write an indignant piece on this, but thought I'd better check on the possibility that it's a bit.  

Awright, everyone, get your questions ready -- and longtime P1s, JV, and Ticket stars, fill us in.  If you would prefer not to leave your answer in a comment  .  .  .

Email:  ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

Twitter:  @Plainsman1310

I Wander Ticketstock

Notes from my Friday afternoon visit.  I wandered the floor for an hour or so, visited a few vendors, listened to some of The Hardline.  Thoroughly enjoyed myself.  Reviews have been excellent, and The Ticket should be congratulated.  In fact, let me start with this:

Kudos.  First, how about a hand for the CTO?  Sure, the thing is sponsored, and a lot of it is pretty sponsor-promotional, but it's a lot of work, a big time commitment for the whole station, very entertaining for the P1.   A real nice kiss for listeners, and when we smack the CTO around for one or another sin, let's remember cool stuff like this.  I'll have a further thought on this in conclusion.

Parking.  I could have sworn I heard hosts saying parking was free.  Five bucks to get into the garage.

General.  The floor was less crowded with stuff this year.  Seemed to me like there were fewer sponsors, but that may have been because the did not have the basketball court this year so the joint just had a more wide-open feel.

Shoop.  I put some geld into Michael Gruber's pocket by purchasing a SHOOPY t-shirt portraying him laboring lovingly over what appears to be a Les Paul Custom.  I asked the vendor whether Michael got a royalty for the use of his image and was pleased to hear that he does.

Ticket Guys Generally.  Passed by Gordon, Norm, and Craig out on the floor.  Norm and Gordon had destinations they were hurrying (in Norm's case, slowly) toward, but Craig was taking a stroll and chatting with attendees.  I considered introducing myself, but decided against it.  Everything for the bit, right?  Well, being The Plainsman is my bit, lame thought it may be.

A Confessor on the last thread wrote:  "It was an incredible night, I left the rest of the guys alone [Confessor had chatted with Grubes, Donovan, and Sean Bass]  but to anyone that says they are too big for the P1’s, they are just wrong. All of them walked around, shook hands, took pictures and spent time with their fans, it was a pleasure to watch. I really walked away thinking “we can do what they can do, but they can’t do what we can do.” And looking at my twitter tweet P1 time line, there were a lot of folks who had just as much fun. "  Second that with enthusiasm and could not have put it better.

Un.     While I did not beat down any Ticket guys, I did see some guys wearing UnTicket t-shirts at a booth advertising a way of recording streamed radio, and I asked if they were with that incomparable site.  Turns out they all were, and I was honored to meet DP and two of his invaluable henchmen (sorry, gents, I have forgotten your UT monikers) in assembling Ticket audio.  Great guys.  ap, alas, is stuck in The Great White North.

It's a pleasure to call your attention to their new venture, THINKIT MEDIA.  The are marketing their proprietary system under the uSave.it brand for recording streamed radio. (DP reports that they have some P1s using their system to record their favorite station.)   They also offer other services to businesses such as blog development ("ThinkIt Social) and increasing their profile in the online world.  I may give him a call.  You can read more about it here:  ThinkIt Media  I'm linking it to it on my "Ticket-Friendly Sites" if you ever need to find them.

I neglected to ask DP if he minded if I used his real name (obviously, I was star-struck by the three of them), so I'll keep that valuable information to myself.  However, he and his colleagues were kind enough to let me take their picture at their booth (DP is on the right):

And to top it off, I was deeply honored that they scrounged one of those snazzy UnTicket t-shirts for me.

Ticket Chicks.  Seems to me there were fewer Ticket Chicks abroad, and I did not see a photo area where us mere mortal P1 schlubs could get their picture taken with these lovelies, although I have no doubt that any of them wandering about would have accommodated a request for a quick snap.

T.   As last year, the testosterone clinics were there in force and doing a brisk business.   Apparently I appear to be down a couple of quarts, as I was approached a couple of times by young ladies who worriedly pressed brochures into my infirm grip.

Michael.  The Ticket acknowledged MJ's half-century with a statue.  

However, I couldn't help noticing that he was going to have trouble with this particular dunk, as the anchor for his Airness appeared to have had him stepping in a nasty wad of gum:

I Discover the Theme of Ticketstock.   Last year, I was puzzled by the Mardi Gras theme since it had not been advertised.  This year, it was a collegiate theme, which I realized when I purchased one of the long-sleeved shirts and observed that it had a large "U" in the background.

But with my keen reportorial instincts (which failed me when I didn't get the UnTicket guys' screennames), I ferreted out the true theme.  It was:

"Slanty Boards with a Hole in the Top End Into Which Attendees Were Invited to Attempt to Drain Square Bean Bags Slightly Larger Than the Hole."

(1) The Dallas Stars had the most elaborate set up -- this picture only portrays only two of the four slanty boards:

(2)  Top Golf:

(3)  FIOS:

(4)  Ticket #1:

(5)  Ticket #2/Budweiser, charmingly presented by two fetching Ticket Chicks:

(6)   Hooters had a more inviting variation on the slanty board/hole trope:

And I thought I had snaps of a couple more, but they do not seem to have survived.

Closing Thoughts.  All the Ticket events, but especially Ticketstock, remind us of what an extraordinary phenomenon The Ticket is.  Of course we're unhealthily, sometimes absurdly, obsessed with who's hosting, who's got next, the JV, the shows themselves, what goes on behind the scenes.  As I looked around the place with men and women having a great time, the Ticket guys enjoying themselves, the same phrase kept playing:  This is a club.  A private club that anyone can join just by tuning in.  And think how astonishing it is that it has been maintained for 20 years, and what kind of effort must be going into trying to figure out how to keep it going another 20.  I don't envy them that task.

I hope we're helping.

A big thanks to The Ticket, the CTO, the sponsors, and, of course, Grubes.  Michael, don't spend all my royalty contribution in one place.

*     *     *

Twitter:  @Plainsman1310

Email:  ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

Apocalypse Sometime

+++++

Confessors, I've got a bad feeling.

In a rare burst of efficiency, I'll get to the point.  

While we may not be seeing the end of The Ticket, or the beginning of the end of The Ticket, we may well be seeing the beginning of the beginning of the end of The Ticket.

By "the end of The Ticket," I mean the end of The Ticket we love and support and defend.

I'm not one of those who predicts the end of The Ticket, or one or show or another, "in the next six months."  And of course, we're still listening and the shows are still great.  Other than the occasional outburst at ongoing technical deficiencies, the hosts are doing their usual very entertaining jobs.

But clearly, something has changed and is continuing to do so.  And I think we can put our Confessing fingers on what that is and why it's damaging The Ticket.

Let's consider what we know:

First, the move to Victory was months behind plan.  It seemed not to have been planned at all, at least not by anyone who knew what he was doing.

Second, it was a botch.  I'm not a radio expert or insider, but I've heard enough by now to convince me that this was not par for the course.  It was a disaster, and a continuing disaster.  The Ticket lost gigabytes of one of the main things that binds the place emotionally to the P1 -- its history.  Stuff still doesn't work.

Third, SweetJack.  I've long felt there was more to that cursed cur than met our ears, and now we know at least part of the story -- his fleabitten services were bartered by Cumulus for reduced and inferior Internet availability for the programming.

Fourth,  Grubes ups and leaves.  I believe him that he's anxious to complete his education and improve his career prospects, but I also believe (and he has hinted as much) that the garbage Cumulus gave him to work with had something to do with it.  In fact, I think it had quite a bit to do with it, the timing at least.  

Fifth, remotes, one of the hallmarks of Ticket programming, and a lot of fun, got worse after the move to Victory and, incredibly, are getting worse as time goes by.  I felt sorry for Rick Arnett and Craig Rosengarden Saturday morning, fighting through that static haze.

Sixth, hosts are dumping on management like never before.  Even called out that Brett Blankenship guy by name awhile back.  They've dialed it back a bit in recent weeks, but it still creeps in.

Seventh, you almost never hear Cat mentioned on the air anymore.  There used to be a teasing kind of mixed affection/resentment thing going on like a lot of us have with our bosses, but you don't hear it much any more.  I'm no Mentalist but I'm sensing a growing divide between talent/operations and management.  

Eighth, as noted, the Internet stream is also getting worse, for the reasons we now know.

Ninth, stalwarts at other Cumulus stations are leaving or being shown the door.  KLIF has terminated guys like Jon-David Wells.  WBAP non-renewed (?) Mark Davis.  Jeff Bolton, also at KLIF.  Non-local programming is creeping in.  Grubes.  I've heard that other off-air staff have been leaving and that an audit of Cumulus employee laptops would find a variety of resume-generating software.

Tenth, Cumulus is introducing more and more syndicated programming.  I was very saddened when Joe Morgan's show started running weekends, reversing the trend of increased local weekend Ticket programming -- fewer opportunities for the up-and-comers.   I have heard that Dr. Sanjay Gupta segments will begin appearing on Cumulus Dallas outlets -- including, possibly, if you can conceivably believe it, The Ticket.  (If it hasn't already -- I haven't heard one, but since no one has commented, I'm thinking it may not have started yet.)

Finally (or at least until I think of another one) .  .  .

Finally, there was that really odd moment on The Hardline a few days ago.  I mentioned it in a comment.  Corby was doing a fairly amusing bit on Mike dating the mom suckling an eleven-year-old son, and Danny broke in.  Now it may have been a time-for-a-break thing, but there was a different quality about it, like Corby was treading into territory he'd been warned away from.  Corby kind of snorted and said something about "executives listening" back at the station.  May be reading too much into that, but it was a very odd little exchange.

And I'm thinking -- this isn't just a flubbed migration to Victory.  Something has changed, is changing.  And that last little goofy fifteen seconds of broadcasting is what got me thinking:

It's not that the move to Victory was incompetent, although it surely was.

It's that they moved to Victory at all.

Because the move to Victory wasn't just a Ticket move -- it was a Cumulus, and then a Cumlus/Citadel move.

They brought all the children together in one place.  WBAP, KSCS, KLIF, KTCK, i93, The Wolf.  Yes, including sometimes naughty children like The Ticket.

So what?

So this:

Stations like The Ticket who operated somewhat on the edge, somewhat independently, somewhat as a separate team, are brought more firmly under the thumb of corporate management.  Think physical location doesn't make a difference in things like this?  You'll have to trust me on this one -- it does.

While it is hard to begrudge a conglomerate the cost savings of consolidation -- that's one of the capitalistic benefits of consolidation, after all -- in this case it is being amateurishly managed to the detriment of the overall product.  What used to be distinctive becomes homogenized.  What used to be improvisational and edgy becomes guarded and vanilla.  What used to be dedicated to a particular function for a station is now required to serve that function for multiple stations -- and the same management may not be appropriate for the different stations.  We've already seen that in Anon's report last time that The Ticket is being required to use equipment/software that may work for the other stations, but not for a station that is, for the most part, extended improv. 

"Executives" formerly remote from a rowdy station's operation now find overall supervision and authority -- and discipline -- much easier to exercise.

Cost-cutting also becomes easier.  The Ticket disappears in the gang of lower-rated stations; not only are its individual requirements lost in the clamor for resources at Victory, so is recognition of its singular greatness.  Instead of being nurtured and promoted and expanded, the station is starved and discouraged.

Morale gutters.

And, inevitably, the greatness starts to leak away.

I know I've gone on too long already, but let me make one more point:

Consider the position of the hosts, and maybe even a guy like Rich, who also seems unhappy with what's going on, even though he is Rich the Suit.

They're placed in a terrible position.  They don't like what's going on.  They would like to advocate for the P1, but what can they do?  If they complain too much, they could get disciplined, or perhaps even squeezed when renewal time comes around -- or nonrenewed.  Some of them may have been made well-off by their years of service, but, like Deion, they can't do without their salaries.  But if they hold their tongues  and broadcast like nothing's happening, the listener begins to think of them as compliant, even complicit with the CTO.  Their bond with the P1 is compromised as the growing crappiness is ever more apparent coming out of the speakers.

As I said -- The Ticket is in no danger of collapsing tomorrow.  I'll be tuning in tomorrow to catch Rich's 5:30 AM Ticker.  But, like the Ghost of Christmas Present says, if these shadows remain unaltered I foresee major changes at The Little-and-Getting-Littler Ticket -- soon, behind the scenes (hell, they've already begun) -- and in the next couple of years, on the air.

And we're not gonna like them.

That's enough for now.  I have a couple of other topics to address on this subject, but I'll save them until after The Nation has its say on this regrettably gloomy STD.

GRUBES UNLEASHED

Well, that didn't take long.

Folks, if you want to talk Ticket, there is only one destination for you.  You're there now.

Michael Gruber was an early adopter of My Ticket Confession.  He was the first ever commentor on this site, and from time to time he would drop us a line with information or answers to questions. Nothing too inside or proprietary, just stuff that listeners might want to know.

Turns out, he had a few other things on his mind.

If you follow this site closely, you may already have seen what follows. Michael penned some comments to the last post expanding on his decision to move on -- but he also took the opportunity to unburden himself of some observations on station operation and treatment of the JV. 

Every once in awhile someone will say something on the air that will give us a glimpse of what goes on behind the scenes.  We make educated guesses based on the very rare drawing back of the curtain.  Speaking only for myself, I delight in overinterpreting and jumping to conclusions based on the occasional odd inflection and unexpected pause.  Keeps the site interesting, even when I'm wrong.

I daresay we have never heard anything like some of Michael's observations from anyone who worked there, although hints of some of what follows will sometimes leak onto the airwaves. 

They don't require any further comment from me.  They speak eloquently for themselves.

I should add that I sought and received Michael's permission to rerun his thoughts as a featured post.   I have edited them very slightly for length.  His comments (and the comments to which they respond) appear in full in the previous post, if you want to check them out in context.

Michael first expands on his decision to leave The Ticket:

"In an ideal world, of course I'd rather stay at the Ticket and play drops until my hands fell off. But despite the awesomeness of the job, it's not a career no matter how hard I tried to make it one. And being a career board-op without a degree just doesn't lead to many opportunities to move up, or even expand current responsibilities. I was stuck, basically.

.  .  .  .

"June 3 would have been my tenth anniversary with the station. In that time I have gotten to do so many fun things and meet so many awesome people, I could probably write a book. I'm fully aware that the majority of that goes away in a few months once the aftershocks of my departure totally end. If no one knows who the hell the I am after that, I'll manage to survive. I've gotten more than I could ever dream out of the "local celebrity" lifestyle.

".  .  .  .  I plan on going for a business degree, but that may change. Regardless, I know that I want to LEARN and try to better myself. Especially the last few years, my focus on life has become way too narrow. All I worried about was the Ticket, baseball, Pepper Theft, and hanging out (drinking) with friends. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think I can be more than that. Seeing all the things my parents have done is intimidating at times, but it's a great blueprint for how I want to live the rest of my life. If I can achieve even a small percentage of what they've accomplished, I'd be damn proud. There's more to life than the Ticket, and I want to experience as much of that part as possible now that I'm moving on. I'm 26, so I hopefully have another 75ish years to live. The Ticket will have taken up a tenth of that time, but what a wonderful time it was.

"And I'll say it again...the decision to leave the Ticket and go back to college was mine, and mine alone. Maybe I'll regret it, but I doubt it. I'd hit the glass ceiling at the Ticket, and I have just enough inner drive to not be happy with the status quo.

"Hopefully that explains my decision a little better. I'm not bitter in any way, though I am disappointed with the way some things were, especially the disaster that was/is the move to Victory. But in the grand scheme of things, it's just a blip on the radar. My experience at the Ticket was the best time of my life, and hopefully I made some small dent in the history of it."

In response to a commenter making the intriguing suggestion that Michael purchase The Ticket, Grubes starts to warm up, echoing some thoughts expressed frequently on this site:

"I would love so much to buy the station and let everybody earn the money they deserve while working with the best equipment available. It's a shame such an amazing and unique station is run with a cookie cutter, anti-spending, "make the quarter/month's budget" mentality by those geniuses in Atlanta. I'm convinced the station could be even more successful if treated properly. But, alas..."


In response to the suggestion that perhaps the clumsy move to Victory played a role in his decision to leave, he writes:

"I will allow that the move probably helped "push" me a little bit...But only in terms of leaving in time for the summer semester rather than the fall semester. Like I said, my leaving was inevitable. The timetable just got pushed up by a few months. :)"

As far as his own potential at The Little One was concerned, he mused:

"I think a yuk monkey role would have been absolutely awesome if that opportunity arose, but realistically I don't feel I speak well enough to do that or am clever enough to do the kind of bits yuk moneys do. I feel like I become decent at throwing in a one liner from time to time, but I tended to stammer and stumble over words beyond that.

"I considered seeking producer roles when they came up, but I just couldn't reconcile leaving the board for a minimal pay raise and a supposedly better role. If I was going to be part of a show, the best role for me by far was board-op. Playing drops for BaD Radio and the Hardline was perfect for my skill set, mentality, sense of humor, etc.

"That's why the idea of management tended to float around in my head. As a P1, I know how I'd like things to be, and I feel like I got along with everybody in all departments well enough that I could be pretty good at that.

"But in the end, I'd pretty much maxed out what I could really do at the station without a degree. Hurts to leave, and I shed many a tear in the weeks leading up to my departure, but I'm excited to see what the future holds...Even if I'm not famous anymore! Haha."

Did you catch that "the idea of management tended to float around in my head"?

Well, look out, management.  A floating thing sunk the Titanic:

"Really, if I had my way, I would just let the shows police themselves. I know that's an awful way to go about being program director of a station, but seriously...The "newest" show on the station is Norm and he's been doing it since 2000. Every show has been #1 basically for as long as I can remember.

"It's silly to micromanage how many freaking times Norm does a Twitter segment in a week, or when a certain bit like porn birthdays is "played out". There's enough internet savvy P1's to let us...er, them, know when a bit is played out.

"The other way to know something is played out? When the guys on the show stop laughing at it. Working at the Ticket really sharpens your view on how funny things are because there's such an insane number of funny and creative people working during the week and on weekends. Most guys have a pretty good barometer on when to cut bait on a bit. No need to intervene.

"So while there technically wouldn't be a whole lot I'd do on the programming side other than leave the shows alone, I would spend more of my time on trying to make the work environment as positive as possible. Everyone should be treated like they matter...just because you're a board-op or intern doesn't mean you're less of a human or matter less to the station. Unfortunately, there tends to be such a classification of people by their jobs that it can wear on the self esteem for those that aren't in a more prominent position. It's tough as hell to move up at the station because jobs hardly ever come open. People do what they can to stick around as long as possible, so why treat them poorly in addition to that?

"The Ticket is a fast-paced station. Everything is live, and no matter how well something is (or isn't) planned, nothing is guaranteed to go perfectly. Whoever makes a mistake is going to feel bad already. What's wrong with just pulling someone aside and discussing what happened in an even tone? Knowing that a rip session is on the way makes you even more likely to make a mistake and that much slower on the trigger. Just human nature. I'd rather someone make a mistake in the name of entertainment than hold back and create "bleh" radio. That can be found elsewhere.

"I know that's a very Utopian way of viewing things, but as someone who was lucky enough to go from outsider to insider and now back to outsider, I think my ideas would essentially maximize productivity and by extension, ratings."

And, he adds modestly:

"I think."

I think so, too.  My thanks to Michael for writing and for allowing me to re-post his thoughts.

*  *  *

Follow Your Plainsman on Twitter:  @Plainsman1310

Email Your Plainsman:  ThePlainsman1310@gmail.com

Exactly . . . I Mean . . . This Is: Michael Gruber -- An Appreciation

I accept and incorporate in this post almost every comment that has been made on this site since Michael Gruber announced his retirement from The Ticket.  That includes those who deem him irreplaceable, and those who note that The Ticket will survive.  Those who praise his intelligence, those who will miss the jolliest sound in American media:  Grubes's merry chortle bleeding through into Danny's mic deep in the background of whatever hilarity is being committed at that particular moment.

I've been considering whether I have any distinctive observations to add to this outpouring of praise, good wishes, and regret.  I am frequently criticized, probably with justification, for overthinking The Little Ticket.  But as I've thought back over my eight years of listening, I've had some thoughts about Michael's contribution, a couple of which will resonate with what you've already offered.

(1)  The Ticket gives the impression of being a pretty rough and tumble place.  Everyone's in competition with everyone else.  True enough that often it is friendly competition, and frequently it's a bit -- things like remarking on BaD Radio's lust for Top Ten honors, Mike's jabs at the Musers, and Craig's jabs back.  But the men we hear on the air are all highly-motivated, the hosts are highly compensated, and the JV are elbowing for airtime and plum assignments, and hoping to avoid the wrath of some of the touchier talent.  Over the absolutely amazing run of programming stability on The Ticket, almost every name we would recognize -- weekday hosts, Tickermen, board ops, traffic chicks, producers, CTO -- each of them has had some kind of run-in somewhere along the line, having rubbed someone or other the wrong way.

In the middle of it all -- no, above it all -- stands Grubes. 

The Nicest Man on The Ticket. 

His drops can be savage, lacerating, hilarious, teasing, but I never, ever felt that they were hostile.  I never felt like Michael was a part of the Ticket demimonde that was struggling to get ahead.  Maybe it was because, as we all know, he is an offspring of prosperity, and, for that reason (and because he's so damned smart), I never thought he'd hang around The Ticket or radio production too far into his twenties, although he (sincerely, I think) has said many times that he loved that greatest job in the world.  So he never felt the need to put anyone else down.  His on-air remarks were usually brief, never unwelcome, and almost always self-effacing.  Quite aside from his technical brilliance, his personality added a note of grace to any show he was a part of.

(2)  Almost alone among DFW radio stations -- hell, radio stations anywhere -- The Ticket has had an astonishingly stable history, stretching now to almost two decades.  It's a rich history, but for those millions of us who were not Day One listeners, we would not know that history if it weren't for Grubes.  Not only with drops, but with his sampling from the vault at the close of each episode of The Hardline, those of us who have come lately to the station, and who can't listen to every show every day, he ties the present to the past.

He is a major reason that the P1 feels like a community of friends who not only share the pleasures of that day's broadcasting, but who are a part of something much richer and more personal, a family of sorts.  A dysfunctional family at times, but one where all the actors are bound together with that firmest of cements, humor.

(3) This is the one that's been most on my mind.

We all know that Grubes is the Ticket's Professor Emeritus of Dropology.  We all know about his encyclopedic memory, his astoundingly associative intelligence, his jaw-dropping speed, and his comedic timing. 

But he's done a lot more for The Ticket, and for the P1, than make us laugh.  Hell, listening to some of Grubes's Greatest Hits on The Hardline, I sat in the Conestoga in a parking lot with tears running down my face at some of his brilliantly timed bulls'-eye inserts.  And yet, I think his influence is much more profound than just a series of yuks, gratifying though they may be.

Consider one of his most unusual series of drops.

We've all heard the Corby brag-drops.  "I went to TCU  .  .  .  ," "I have HD," and the rest.

But sometime in the past couple of years, we started hearing some Corby drops that, if you heard them in normal conversation, wouldn't sound like Corbyesque bragging at all.  I don't know that I can quote any of them, but they can be something as simple as (and I'm making these up) "I bought some new jeans yesterday," or "I had dinner last night."  They're momentarily baffling, but they always bring a laugh to the show and to listeners (at least this listener). 

Why is this? 

I think these drops, and our reaction to them, reveal the true importance of Michael Gruber's contribution to The Ticket:

Michael's use of drops has had a significant role in defining the on-air character of the hosts themselves.   By constantly repeating memorable moments, and by highlighting remarks that may not have seemed notable at the time, he shapes our perceptions of all these talented talkers, permanently fixing in our minds the unique personality and quirks of each.   Not only is he constantly sketching them for the listeners, forming our perception of these guys, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that some of the hosts have been influenced by Grubes's portrayal of them through his artistry.

That's why we laugh at the non-brag brags.  Even though if you listen to the body of Corby's work he does not seem to be unduly afflicted with CJWilsonesque conceit, Michael's drops have defined Corby to the extent that these most innocuous of remarks seem freighted with self-regard.  To this extent, Grubes has enriched Corby's broadcast personality.  And he does the same with all of his willing victims, to the very great advantage of The Ticket.  To use a current trope, he has created brands for the men he works with, and when you're a station that depends for its popularity on the distinctive personality of its hosts and other on-air guys, that's immensely valuable.  And for us, immensely entertaining.

Too grandiose?  Your Plainsman overthinking The Ticket again?  Yeah, maybe.  It's fun to overthink The Ticket.  And it's an unalloyed pleasure to say nice things about Michael Gruber.

Ah, Grubes, we hardly knew ye.  But thanks to you, we know a lot of people we all care about a whole lot better.

My thanks, and best wishes from My Ticket Confession as you make your way in the world.

Almost Back

I'm still tied up like crazy but should be back in a couple of days.  In the meantime, I've got a few minutes here tonight so will toss off a couple.

(1) My appreciation of Michael Gruber will be appearing as soon as I can write it.

(2) Cannot believe I missed what from all reviews were very well-received wife swaps.  I wonder if someone an tell me:

     -- Confessors reported on Gordon and Geoge as plus-ones on The Hardline.   Did HL personnel appear on The Musers?  Any other swaps?

     -- Was there any reported reason for the swaps?  Was Corby away?  Travel plans require the swaps?

(3)  Re:  Vulgarity.  I hope I have been clear about my position on this.  Let me repeat it:  The Hardline is not too vulgar for me.  I don't recall ever punching out because I was offended by any of the orifice and related humor.  My point in the past has been simply that The Hardline is, by terrestrial radio standards, pretty blue, and that the talent on that showgram is better than that, and the presentation would be better without it.  And that the vulgarity is a big reason that a lot of non-listeners are non-listeners.  Pretty obviously, The Hardline's tone hasn't hurt it one point in the ratings, so I wouldn't expect they would change a thing. 

(4)  As to whether this site comes to any host's attention:  I agree with the commenter who said that they probably cruise by once in awhile, but I'm guessing that every host and Jeff Catlin get more emails every day than this site gets hits.  They've probably had complaints about content for years.  And I suspect they're a whole lot more interested in y'all than they are in me.

(5) The question of Michael's replacement is a verrrry interesting one.   There's a lot of talent among the JV, but I believe only a few are highly experienced board operators.  I had a candidate in mind, but I don't think I've ever heard that he twiddles and tweaks, so I'll probably stash that idea.  So who knows -- we may never have heard of the next BO.  Whoever it is, I'm already feeling sorry for him -- or her.

Think about it.

Hope to be back with some actual content in the next few days.

EMERGENCY OPEN THREAD: The Departure of That Nice Young Michael Gruber

I'm actually sitting here in the middle of a meeting in NoCal, but certain things have to be put aside.  No time to write anything on this, except that (i) I regret intensely and (ii) I'm delighted that Michael is pursuing his education. 

The Barley House is in mourning.

There will certainly be more on this, but here's a place for us all to gather on this very dramatic day in Ticket history.

The Hardline's Dilemma

First, let me say that I think the Hardline has undergone something of a renaissance over the past six months or so.  Can't put my finger on it.  Show has just seemed on an upswing.  Mike's been engaged, takes charge of more segments, his attention seems to wander less often.  Whenever that happens, the show gets some of its old balance back and it's good. 

Way back when when I started this site, one of the things on my (pretty short) Ticket wish list was that The Hardline were not so vulgar.  Profanity, explicit sexual references.  I don't think much of anyone else cared about that -- never got much reaction -- so after a couple of gripes I let it go.  I didn't like, it, still don't, but it's not a big deal.  I still listen.

Then, a few days ago, a Confessor made note of what seemed to him to be an increasing number of dumps.  He complained that whatever it was that was so amusing The Hardline was seldom, if ever, explained.  Another Confessor picked up on the theme and said that he felt left out when that happened.

I've noticed the same thing.  There do seem to be more dumps.  But it's not only the dumps -- there seems to be a lot of inside stuff going on during the segments that distracts them, they laugh, and we have no idea what's going on.  Sometimes they're watching TV and reacting to that, and the P1 has no idea what's going on.

At first I thought I'd write kind of a critical piece.  But Your Plainsman tries to see all sides when there's something that's getting under his skin.   After mulling it over, I came around to thinking that in some ways, The Hardline is in a no-win situation.

On the one hand, The Hardline's appeal is that it is a bunch of guys who enjoy each other's company and like to talk about guy stuff and pop culture stuff and now and then some sports.   It's like they say on the ad, isn't it?  Just a bunch of guys we like to hang out with on the radio.   And, like almost any group of guy friends, in the course of their chit-chat, there's going to be a certain degree of profanity.  And a certain degree of wandering and not paying attention and ninety-degree turns in topics that someone listening from outside isn't always going to pick up on.   The Musers aren't vulgar, BaD isn't vulgar, The Hardline is.  Not all buddy groups are the same, and the dynamic of this one is, well, naughtier than some others.

On the other -- well, it is annoying, as our Confessors have noticed.  It can seem disrespectful -- The Hardline invites us to join the party, but sometimes things just get too inside or dirty or private or something, and they have to snicker behind their hands for a few seconds -- no P1s allowed.  And, I'll go back to my old point -- even when they're not dumping themselves, there's an awful lot of cussing on the show.  A lot of "f"s.  I think it cheapens the show and the station, a lot of it sounds gratuitous and forced, and I'm mildly surprised that Cumulus hasn't tried to regulate it.  Is there a more profane show in DFW radio?

So, we want The Hardline to be themselves, but not too much.   I guess with The Hardline, like with any social group, you gotta take the real good (a very cool trio, plus the Most Famous Man in Radio, Grubes) with the bad (too cool, sometimes).

But either way, you gotta take it.

*     *     *

Follow Your Plainsman on Twitter:  @Plainsman1310

A Holiday Gift to the Nation: Guest Confessor birq on the Ascendance of BaD Radio

My writing schedule having been rudely diminished by my actual paying gig, I reached out to sometime commenter birq to invite him to share some thoughts on any Tickety topic -- a topic (and at a time of) his choosing.  He was kind to oblige, and here it is. I was very happy to see that he chose to write on a topic I seldom address.   It's terrific, makes a point I've never seen or considered.  The weekend and holidays are low-traffic for MTC, so there will be no new postings through mid-next week.   I suspect it will inspire considerable commentary, as BaD always does.   Without further fanfare, here's birq:

*     *     *

BaD Radio has been a fixture on the Ticket midday for a decade now, and the show's quirky chemistry and eccentricities have become a staple of the listening day. But for the better part of their tenure they were considered the 'little brothers' of the Ticket. From the halting, rocky start, to the stilted, awkward mixes with The Hardline to their reduced role on road trips, the BaD boys seemed destined to always be considered the new guys, never to be taken into the fold of the Ticket mainstream.

Something has happened over the past couple years to make the show more prominent. BaD used to only rarely crack the top half of the Ticket Top 10, but now they regularly make 2nd or 3rd, and occasionally take the top spot. They play a more central role in the Timewasters' set and get to (or are forced to) participate in the campout or compound or Great Game as much as everyone else. And the glorious chaos of Why Today Doesn't Suck is arguably the best daily segment on the Dallas airwaves.

What is it that has transformed BaD Radio? Is it the presence of Donnie, acting as both buffer and catalyst, as the situation demands? Has Gribble matured to the point where he's a net positive for the show? Is the drop artistry of Grubes the secret ingredient? Is it a management decision, forcing the other shows to play nice? Each of those may or may not play a role, but I would posit another small factor:  Social media.

Bob is as much an information junkie as he is a stats junkie, and Twitter gives him the ability to follow other high-profile information junkies and to share his information stream with everyone else. He and Grubes were both early adopters and both understood very quickly how to effectively use it. Of all the Ticket hosts and personalities, Bob and Grubes were the only ones who really got it until recently.

A side effect of their effective use of the medium was increased interaction with Ticket listeners. Bob has always been reasonably responsive through email, but with the limited size of Twitter messages and the necessary brevity, interaction is faster and with less obligation. He engaged the listener more often and in more meaningful ways than most of the other Ticket hosts, and the listeners came to feel a stronger kinship with the show. This engagement has led to the creation of the phenomenon known as #the2300, a loose amalgamation of P1s and sports fans. Bob and Grubes didn't create #the2300 -- by the time it came into being, most other Ticket hosts had jumped on the bandwagon and figured out how to take advantage of the medium -- but their interaction with P1s opened the door, and, I believe, helped put BaD Radio as a show on par with The Musers and The Hardline.

*     *     *

My thanks to birq.  I have a feeling he has some other STDs he might be cajoled into sharing with the Nation in the future.

If you would like to submit your thoughts for possible posting as a headlined article, don't hesitate to contact me at theplainsman1310@gmail.com.   It can either be an idea for an article, or a finished product for consideration.  No promises, and I reserve the right to edit.  Anonymity will be honored.

*     *     *

Follow Your Plainsman on Twitter:  @plainsman1310

Hey, Nice Young . . .

.  .  .  Michael, did you by any chance have a stopwatch on that infomercial for Virgin America during today's Hardline?



They don't look disgruntled  .  .  .  .



An Even MORE Modest Proposal for The Hardline -- PART 2: The More Modest Proposal Its Own Self

Don't think I don't understand the absurdity of a civilian -- a rather radio-naive civilian at that -- suggesting changes to one of the most popular radio shows in the United States. 

But it's no more absurd than some of the very entertaining things we hear on The Ticket every day.  Not that this is a gag -- I think all my ideas are excellent.  But if the only thing that happens is that you laugh and shake your head at Your Plainsman's chuckleheadedness, I'm perfectly OK with that.  And you'll let me know in the comments.  Respectfully, I am certain.

So here we go:

In Part 1, I recanted my earlier opinion that Mike R goes through phases of diminished interest in The Hardline.  I did not recant my view that from time to time, The Hardline as it emerges over the airways needs more Mike and less Corby, what I have for the last couple of years called balance.

I've been kicking around an idea about a  .  .  .  an  .  .  .  adjustment to The Hardline that not only would address this issue, but that isn't totally cockamamie, unworkable, and incredibly faster-than-the-speed-of-light impossible. 

Why loose it on an unwitting public at this time, while The Hardline continues to ride high?

        --  Continued communications from P1's expressing the view that Mike has lost interest.  Not really my opinion, but I do hear this.

        --  Continued communications from P1's, also reflected in comments to posts, lamenting the OverCorby.  I have some sympathy for this view, much as I admire Corby's performance overall.

        --  Remarks on The Musers a week or so ago that each of the Courage Boys has developed his own theory about Mike As He Has Been Lately, who, they speculate, seems to have developed a don't-give-a-damn attitude, say-anything attitude, suggesting a scorched-earth point of view towards The Little One.  (They were referring to his performance on "The Newlywed Game" at Ticketstock -- I'm don't think they were necessarily describing The Hardline presentation.)  I don't actually know what Mike-AHHBL behavior they were thinking of, but the fact that they commented in such detail on one of their semi-rival hosts at all was somewhat alarming -- although their attitude was bemused rather than alarmed.

        --  A comment from AP (as I recall -- I haven't gone back to check on the commenter), who reported a couple of remarks by Danny, who occasionally experiences tension between his role as producer and as on-air talent.

        --  Unanimously positive reactions to the March 1 presentation, where Corby was absent, Danny was more-or-less the co-host in grown-up mode, Jake did E-News, T.C. produced, and Robert ("Don't Call Me Bob") Wilonsky did Community Quick Hits.

With (i) this context, (ii) our wish to maintain host/host balance on the show, and (iii) my revised Theory of Mike all in mind, I offer the following modest proposal:

               (1)  Make Danny a full-time host.  Relieve him of his producer duties.  Give him a raise -- probably a big one -- and a contract.


               (2)  Include the following in Danny's job description, since it unlikely Corby would undertake any of them: 


                         (i)   Plan topics and segments that are more likely than not to engage Mike's interest (i.e., take charge of show prep, and, if he's already in charge of show prep, take charge of it better).


                         (ii)  On the air, make sure that Mike is heard, even in those instances where he is not particularly engaged.   This sounds patronizing towards Mike, but, as noted, Mike wanders and defers to Corby, and Corby allows it.  Danny has shown flashes of being genuinely concerned about the overall sonic presentation of the show.  Task him with bringing Mike into conversations where he's lapsed into silence for one reason or another.  In other words, give him some authority over the on-air presentation in real time.


                         (iii)  Police the OverCorby.  Now it is true that in the past Danny has sometimes allied with Corby, exacerbating the balance problem.  My hunch, however, that given express responsibility for keeping the showgram sounding professional, he would do it.


                         (iv)  I think this could be accomplished without diluting Danny's colorful and acerbic contribution.   It would only require that Danny put on the adult persona that he has when he's co-hosting with Mike in Corby's absence -- that's a Danny that the Nation finds quite easy to take.


               (3)  For Grubes's years of toil in the fever swamps, give him the opportunity to produce if he wants.  We would miss his amazing drops artistry, but surely the guy doesn't want to be a board op forever, even assuming he plans to hang with The Ticket for the foreseeable future.


               (4)  If Grubes doesn't want the producer job, assign it to Jake Kemp.   Find another up-and-comer to do Top Ten.  (Not T.C., in my view, but the Nation seems fond of him.  Maybe Casey Millen.)


               (5)  If Grubes does want the producer job, I don't know who should be on the board.  There must be lotsa guys who'd like that gig.


               (6)  Ty Wal-KAH?   Jeez, I'm sorry, I just don't see him moving from Tickers -- which, after all, is his natural habitat.  At least not on The Hardline, anyway.   Ty has some real broadcast skills as a behind-the-mic guy, but the Hardline doesn't needs another talker and I don't see him in the producer role -- could be wrong.  His role as lightning-fast Google guy and porn counselor is bringing him an increased role on the show when Danny's drop isn't yelling at him, so he's doing OK.


Danny, Corby, Mike, and a slice of Junior



Consider the advantages (or, in some cases, the non-disadvantages) of this plan: 

          --  It addresses the need for more Mike and a more moderate contribution from Corby.

          --  It requires no new hires or even moving anyone from one show to another (other than Jake and maybe a board op).

          --  Showgram chemistry is altered only very slightly.

          --  It keeps a major talent (Danny) around and lets him concentrate his skills and energy on show presentation.

          --  Unlike other Hardline-related suggestions, it does not involve any kind of formal or even apparent demotion of Corby.  It does not suggest that Corby is "only" a yuk-monkey. 

          --  It barely requires any changes at all within the presentation itself.  Just more Danny, which is a good thing overall, and more authority for Danny to guide the show.  In fact, it may not mean much more Danny at all -- it only requires that his contribution be aimed at getting/keeping Mike involved in the broadcast. 

          --  It keeps/rewards Grubes and opens up a spot for some new Ticket talent (i.e., Jake/Casey or a hotshot board op).

Well  .  .  .  there it is.

It really only has one significant feature -- noodging Danny towards more responsibility and authority.  If he's interested, it works.  If he thinks it's BS, it doesn't.  (Of course, we're all thinking -- this is impossible, so whether it's BS or not is kind of beside the point.)  I may be wrong in sensing in Danny a mature professional waiting to come into his own, but I have found myself hearing a faint regret in the direction the show takes from time to time, even as he participates in it.  He has the presence and the skill to give the showgram a nudge back on track when it threatens to stray.  And maintain his Danny persona in the process.

OK, this has gone on long enough.   The Nation is entirely free to comment on any feature or all of them, but I would request that you not overemphasize the incidental features (Grubes/Jake/Casey/Ty), which are really not important to the overall scheme -- included just to keep things tidy.  

Your turn. 

My Ticket Confession

Your Plainsman tries to be fair.  Sometimes this consists of taking shots at some of the showgrams and some of the hosts.  As ardent listeners, the stuff that stands out for us is the stuff that irritates, even though most of it is great.

I don't know what happened today.  I've been a little logy lately, under the weather, and kind of had that la-de-da sensibility that comes from mainlining DayQuil.  Maybe it was because I'd had a good meeting with one of my numerous bosses.  Maybe it was because I'd knocked off work early for no good reason.  Maybe it was because a checkout lady at the supermarket insisted -- even after I denied it -- that I was a well-known national television figure.  Swear to Jah.

Whatever it was, I have this to say:

I thought The Hardline was incredibly good today.

I smiled, I laughed, I cackled, I chortled.  The highlight was when they announced some giveaway of tickets to a cowboys-of-color rodeo.   Almost drove off the road during that exchange.   All of the hosts were on their game, all were funny, the coarseness was kept to a minimum.  The "Tom Sawyer" E-News segment also stopped me down.  The Joel Jenista reminiscence was perfect.

Your Plainsman (among others) gripes about Hardline show nonprep, vulgarity, over-Corby, Mike R's early retirement -- but jeez, these guys (and Danny "Wool Hat" Bacon and that Nice Young Michael Gruber) are pretty incredible broadcasters.  I thought about that scene in "The Fugitive" where Harrison Ford is keeping just a few scrabbling steps ahead of the train wreck that's advancing on him -- that's The Hardline at its best, and it was at its best today.

Despite the fact that all of us (cowardly, anonymous) media experts have a list of stuff we'd like to fix, The Hardline is an astounding radio showgram. 

That, among other admissions I sprinkle in here from time to time, is My Ticket Confession.

Damn You, Ticket Incidental Music Picker-Outer

First it was Danny's C&W "Too Many Nights" theme for "What's on Mike's Mind."

Then it was the "Pool Party" theme song.

I hummed those songs for months.  I was either picturing Danny rubbing one out later that night (that generally broke the humming cycle), or the Hardline lounging around a pool while Grubes, a white napkin draped over his forearm, struggling but failing to make the perfect SoCo lime shot (but rolling with the unit under his hoodie, hoping to capture some slurred drops about the bikini-clad Ticket Chicks -- extra sultry -- perfecting their tans nearby).

Now it's that pedal steel tune under that nice little "Thank You, P1's" ad The Ticket runs from time to time.  I mean, that little eight-to-ten note figure that it plays over and over off a couple of different chords, can't shake it.   Can't tell if it's clipped from some commercial tune, or something some talented Ticket hanger-on laid down.  Either way, driving me frackin' nuts.

BaD Radio Repor -- Uh, Not So Fast

In the next few days I will be posting a two-parter on my General Unified Theory of BaD Radio.  How timely that the spotlight is on Bob and Dan after Dan's BaD Radio Report on an internal memorandum from management to showgram producers was prematurely terminated by a phone call from some Cumulus overlord.  As usual, you can check it out at The UnTicket.

(Grubes was unintentionally hilarious when Dan asked Tom if he wanted to be part of the segment, and Grubes -- who may have had an inkling that the anvil was about to come crashing down on Dan's head -- simply said, "He's on the phone.") 

No real comment on this episode for now, but since BaD Radio had this spot of drama yesterday I thought I'd take the opportunity to tease the upcoming two-parter, wherein I offer my General Unified Theory of that showgram.

Have a fine weekend, Confessors everywhere.

A Perfect Thing About The Hardline

There are many quite superb things about The Hardline, of course, but there is one thing that is absolutely perfect.  One thing that should never, ever be changed.  One thing that represents the ideal marriage of performance, design, architecture, engineering, construction, and feng shui.  What is this paragon of that which cannot be improved?

Insulation.

Because The Hardline custom studios are possessed of exactly that combination of soundproofing, fiberglass wall stuffing, glass, sheetrock, wall posters, and discarded I Fratelli pizza boxes so arranged that when something amusing takes place, during those moments of precious on-air silence, originating in some distant room, pitched at a decibel level that could not be any more perfect if Glyn Johns were twiddlin' and tweakin', one can detect, just barely, the irresistible chortling of Michael Gruber.

There is no jollier sound in the universe than Grubes's throaty larfing, but it would not be nearly so jolly if it were one VU meter tick one way or the other.  Bleeding through the exquisitely-composed walls of The Hardline custom studio, it's one of those sounds, like a bull's-eye fart drop, that one cannot hear without laughing. Absolutely. Dead. Solid. Perfect. 

A Modest Proposal for the Hardline – PART 4: The Modest Proposal Itself

HeeHoo is not coming back.

And Mike probably is not going to magically reassert control over the show.

But I invite you to consider whether balance, stronger content, and Mike's interest might be restored by the introduction of another host, someone who could bring to the show something of the same animating spirit that HeeHoo did.

And, most importantly, someone who could be Mike's ally in the same way that HeeHoo was. A more meaty, blue-collar voice to offset the too-cool-for-school smartiness of the two lads. (Again, I like that attitude, but without some leavening it wears you down day after day.) Someone who could lessen the severity of the Corbyward tilt, and might, just might, be able to talk sports in the bargain.

I understand the risk. The show is good now, why upset what chemistry there is? What internal problems would arise by introducing someone who would necessarily cut into Corby's air time? Station politics, which are probably already much hotter than any of us imagines, would be daunting. If it failed, wouldn't it be a public relations disaster? Look what happened when they tried to pair Connie Chung with Dan Rather.

These are all quite legitimate questions, and all reasons why this modest proposal will, to a virtual certainty, live and die in this little blog.

But just for fun, let me invite you to put aside the impossibility of any organic change in The Hardline in the short run, and review for a moment the merits of an individual who is right there on the premises, available for service:

Mike Bacsik.

Don't laugh, or snort in derision. Just bear with me for a minute. Consider – he has a lot of HeeHoo's strengths (not all, not yet), some strengths that HeeHoo did not have, and none of his weaknesses. But also some weaknesses that HeeHoo did not have.

     --      He is a salt-of-the-earth kind of guy. He sometimes misspeaks in a very charming, engaging kind of way. Sound familiar?

     --      Although younger than Corby and Danny, he conveys a general impression of adulthood, stability, maturity. Family man.  (Yeah, I know Corby is a family man -- a man with a family.)

     --      He is not a slick broadcaster. His voice is not polished; is, in fact, a little coarse. Very matter of fact, but can summon up passion about the things that matter to him. Someone like Followill would not work on aesthetic grounds alone – the voice just doesn't fit with the Hardline. I feel the same way about Rhadigan. Those guys are broadcaster’s broadcasters – they hate dead air, but the pauses and errors of everyday conversation are part of what gives The Ticket its distinctive and appealing sound. Love both Mark and John, and love it when they sit in, but with the exception of Bob Sturm and Danny, there’s not a classic broadcasting voice on the station. You need someone with a little roughness around the edges, and Bacsik fills that bill. Just this morning, George Dunham was making fun of Bacsik’s voice, likening it to Chewbacca’s. There you go – it’s a distinctive, likable sound and not a prefab broadcast sound. (And by the way: George’s timbre is not so far distant from Bacsik’s.)

     --      He possesses the distinctive quality of actually knowing something about a variety of sports. Holds his own with Norm.

     --      He has broadcast and behind-the-scenes technical experience without being a "professional" broadcaster.

     --      He comes across as a nice guy.

     --      DISADVANTAGE: He is not a naturally amusing human. For it to work, he would have to loosen up a little. His shows with Rhadigan over the Christmas break were quite good. His weekend show with some guy whose name escapes me right now is also good. But he'd need some time to get into the swing of things on The Hardline.

     --      DISADVANTAGE: Might be a little straight-laced for some of the more rambunctious Hardline segments. He would need to get comfortable with pop culture topics, chicks, movies, bad music, and, of course, the occasional bodily discharge. That would come with time. In any event, that seat at the table should be a little, shall we say, uninformed about certain things – like HeeHoo was.

     --      DISADVANTAGE: The man likes to talk. He can go on some. Nothing would be worse than The Hardline sounding like Why Today Doesn’t Suck, with a buncha guys talking at once.

     --      DISADVANTAGE: Three guys on the show named Michael.

Of course, the most difficult problem is how The Ticket could make this happen in a way that did not make it seem as though the station were concerned about The Hardline. (For all I know, Cumulus and station management have no concern whatsoever about The Hardline. In fact, I may be the only person who does.) Maybe have Bacsik produce a few times if Danny has some time off. If that works for the show, have him sub for Corby a couple times when Corby has a commitment elsewhere. See how it goes.

OK, so maybe you don’t care for Bacsik . Or maybe he’s not the right guy. But what do you think about looking for a structural change in the show that sharpens up the creative tension that used to make that showgram snap? Is Your Plainsman way off base here?

Let’s say a new host were brought in, any new sportsy host: What would happen?

Mike R would be challenged to sharpen up his sports awareness. His interest in the show would revive, as it seemed to do when Rhadigan was on the show last week. Segments would have more substance, would rely less on repetitive inside gags and drops. (But, of course, we still want an appropriate quantity of inside gags and drops.)

It might be perceived as a "demotion" for Corby. (Adding any new host would have this effect.) That would be regrettable, as he certainly doesn’t deserve one. Another host would inevitably cut into his airtime, although it is not beyond imagining that Mike R would be the one reducing his cumulative airtime with a new voice there to talk sports. The whole idea here is to get mike interested again, get him off the defensive, increase the dramatic tension between the two factions of the show, which is what gives it its charm. If Mike R's participation (quantity or quality) were not enhanced by Mike B's arrival, then the strategy will fail.

Crazy? Sure. Just how crazy depends on how you think The Hardline is sounding. If you think its current gestalt is fine just the way it is and for the future, then it’s real crazy. If you don’t enjoy the showgram like you used to – or if, like me, you’re just worried about the damned thing – ask yourself why. If you locate the source of your reaction in the OverCorby (or, perhaps more accurately, the UnderMike) – as much as you may like them both – then a structural solution, while risky, may not be quite as crazy as it seems on first hearing.

Ask yourself this: If you had only known Greg Williams from occasional host appearances and contributions as a producer, and the Hardline were just like it is today, what would you have thought of the suggestion that he be added as an additional host on The Hardline? Could any of us have possibly imagined the legendary powerhouse that show became?

Of course, Norm would need a new producer. I nominate Doyle King.

Thank you for shopping at My Ticket Confession.

A Modest Proposal for the Hardline – PART 1: My Ticket Confession

If you are coming to this blog for the first time, let me re-introduce its reason for being:

I love The Ticket. I love some parts of it more than others, but I love pretty much all of it. One exception, and maybe I'll get to that some day if I'm feeling dyspeptic, but let's just say that I'm an unapologetic P1. I listen, I defend, I think it's about the best reason to live in the DFW area.

But when you spend enough time with something you love, you notice the blemishes, the weaknesses, the occasional departure from the ideal. Those things can be endearing, but you still wish you could lean over and push that errant strand of hair back over her ear.

That's how I feel about the Ticket. They could leave it just the way it is and it's still the most enjoyable thing on the radio. Nothing sounds like it anywhere. I am familiar with sports radio offerings in several major markets. Nothing touches The Ticket. I tried listening to a competing sports-talk station not long ago, and it was appalling. Impossible to believe that a major radio outlet in this market couldn't attract any better talent than the jamoke they had taking calls.

But from time to time, I hazard the thought that a faithful listener might offer a suggestion or two, respectfully expressed, affectionately offered, with some reasoning behind it. The intimacy of The Ticket’s presentation – they want you to view these guys like pals whose conversations you’re just dropping into – encourages a highly personal reaction, which is sometimes unavoidably judgmental.

That's My Ticket Confession – The Ticket is incomparable, but I worry about it sometimes like one would a beloved child.

I have a modest proposal for The Hardline.

A Modest Proposal for The Hardline – PART 2: Does the Hardline Need Fixing? – How We Got Here

Well, no, it doesn’t need fixing. It isn't broken. If it were, it wouldn’t continue to dominate its demo. I listen to it almost daily, and as much of the 3.5 hours as I can. But sometimes things that are humming along OK could use a little adjustment, a little freshening up. A challenge, maybe. I think that time may be approaching for the Hardline, if it hasn't already arrived.

The modern Hardline begins with the departure of Greg "the Hammer" "Greggo" Williams, i.e., He Who Cannot Be Named (hereafter, "HeeHoo"). I favored his termination. During the period I had been listening, he'd become more aggressively ignorant, more misogynistic, less entertaining, and his contribution to the show had noticeably diminished. I didn't know about the drug issues (other than the one he memorably copped to one day), but it seemed to me that HeeHoo was becoming the Brian Jones of the Hardline – still a star, but in recording sessions the Stones put him in a separate studio and disconnected his mic. After his departure I read all the stories, and it was a very familiar one to anyone who has ever known or loved an addict – you have to let the guy hit bottom and if he won't get up you pretty much have to let him go unless you’re able to live in his pocket 24/7. Acquaintance with the truth vanishes in the pursuit of the next high – and its concealment. Yeah, I read the Richie Whitt article, but I also listened to the show every day. Corby and Mike (and Ticket management) were, in my view, 100% blameless in the whole thing. Accommodating an addict is a no-win for the accommodator, irrespective of his or her fondness for the addict or how far they go back.

But almost every listener would say that they fell in love with The Hardline during the "good Greggo" years. And for all the tsuris he caused his colleagues, we all missed HeeHoo and wished there were some way he could return so everything could be like it was.

In the meantime, the show flirted with the plus-ones and went with the Mike-and-Corby-with-some-Danny-and-the-occasional-Grubes lineup most of the time. None of the plus-ones seemed quite right, as interesting as some of them were. So the show assumed its current shape – same as before, but without HeeHoo. And it continued to thrive. It continued to be fun and lively as everyone was getting readjusted. We got to know Danny and Grubes a little better. I happen to think Danny Balis is the most naturally amusing guy, and one of the smartest guys, at the station, oddly appealing even in full grump mode. Grubes – they should give a Pulitzer Prize for drops.

But the focus, of course, was on Corby. Yeah, it was Mike's show, but with Corby filling the HeeHoo void, the latter's fans were scrutinizing him to see if he could hack it, could provide entertainment equivalent to HeeHoo on the latter's good days. Under the difficult circumstances, Corby did a really exceptional job. I think it is hard to say that the show lost much of its appeal with HeeHoo's departure.

The continued success of the program also was also fueled by Mike's innate appeal, but I've said it before, I'll say it now, I'll say it tomorrow – despite the verdict of countless blogs and comments on blogs and blogs about other blogs, Corby does not suck. He is a very talented broadcaster. He is a first-rate interviewer, one of the best anywhere in DFW. He has an astounding gift for getting difficult subjects to talk to him (Parcells and Shaq, to name a couple). His voice is distinctive and refreshing. Yes, he could stand to edit out the clichés and hyperbole, but those weaknesses are not unique to him. To my ear he has gotten better and better as time has gone by. He has earned his current prominence on The Hardline. Bravo, Corby.

Mike remained Mike. The irascible, loquacious, aging hipster. The kind of charming grouch we'd like to call a pal, if he just didn't dislike us so much – the Fred Mertz of The Ticket.

And he remained, for lack of a better word, the boss of the show.

Ratings remained astronomical. Sponsors stayed put. Lots of remotes, the sponsors must love these guys. Why in the world would anyone want to mess with that?

TOMORROW: PART 3: What’s Changed.