Listening Too Hard: Two -- Wait, Three -- No, Four -- Observations on Those "The Ticket Was My Idea" Ads

You know the ones I'm talking about.  The ones that sound like the Windows 7 TV ads.

(1) They're extremely weak.  There's nothing wrong with a parody, but these ads barely qualify.  The writer made no effort at humor or cleverness.  It's just guys describing Ticket features in extremely dull terms.   They could have had some real fun with this, teasing the hosts and the shows and the Tickers and all the rest, but those spots just lay down and die.  They're short but you can hardly wait for them to be over.  They make no impression on the ear at all.

By contrast, consider the "Most Interesting Radio Station in the World" ads that parody the Dos Equis commercials.  They are not particularly clever, but at least the writer tried to write some gags.  "They handle hot sports opinions without an oven mitt" is not going to make you forget Sam Kinison, but at least someone tried to make the spot entertaining. 

The "my idea" spots couldn't have taken more than a minute or two apiece to write.  I'm wondering if some P1s didn't get together, record those in their basement, and send them in.

(2)  How does Cumulus account for revenue on those spots?  Do they do a book transfer at The Ticket's normal ad rates from Cumulus to KTCK's revenue sheet?  Are they freebies, time donated by KTCK with no impact on the sales revenue figures? 

And does the increase (or at least it seems like an increase) in KTCK self-promotion mean that they're having trouble moving spots to paying advertisers?  I mean, what's the point of running them at all?  If you're hearing the ad you've already decided to listen to The Ticket, and, given The Ticket's listening audience, those listeners are probably already pretty loyal.  I realize there is some benefit to the brand from running self-promo ads, some bump in goodwill, some psychological impact among the demo of "belonging" to a special kind of radio club.  But they seem to be running an awful lot of them lately, and one would think that time is pretty valuable on a station with The Ticket's ratings.  (Or are advertisers balking because of the uncertain coverage of The Ticket's ragged signals?)

(3) It occurs to me that they run these spots because they want to broaden The Ticket's appeal to ethnics.  Some of the guys doing the ads are obvious non-Anglos.  Kind of like those Chevy truck ads with the Latino-sounding narrator.  (And like the Windows 7 ads themselves.)

(4)  You think it's easy being a radio talker?  You think anyone who knows something about sports, and can talk, can be a host?  You think our beloved Ticket stars have the easiest jobs in the world, not requiring any special talent or skill?  

Listen to the guys they got doing these ads (they really ought to have some women doing them).  Don't know who they are -- maybe Cumulus employees, maybe friends of the hosts or management, maybe P1s with an inside track.   Listen to how flat those voices sound (part of it is the flat copy they're being asked to read, but only a small part of it). 

Imagine any of them as a host and listening to them for three hours. 

And appreciate how talented your Ticket on-air guys really are.

Is TheTicket.com down this morning?  I'm trying to listen to the Teebox but the site won't come up.

The Hardline's Theater of the Mind

Been getting a big Ticket kick out of those improv Hardline ads, some of which sound live to me for Gumout with Mike R agonizing over his fuel economy/engine-cleaning problems, and Corby always present to set him straight on getting rid of whatever product that is that Mike alleges he's been using. 

Danny gets into amusingly into the act with the Texas Land and Cattle series of dramas, usually focusing on Corby's failure to carry more than twenty-five bucks in cash with him, and apparently no plastic at all. 

Fun, but you can see why they run into time problems on the show.

Here, let me spoil the fun with something that just occurred to me.  If you were an advertiser or director of advertising, and you'd signed up Mike and Corby to do these spots, which one would you imagine you would cast as the guy with the engine problems, and which as the guy with the Gumout solutions?   I've remarked on Mike's sometimes uncomfortable role as the doddering old-timer who gets lapped by fast-talking Corby on the showgram, not necessarily to the showgram's benefit, when Mike's role used to be that of the show boss.  (He's regained some of that in recent months.)  Interesting that they've cast this the way they have, with Man of the Future Corby as the Prophet of Gumout, and Mike as the Analog Neanderthal who's using that Greasy Kid Stuff in his tank.  (If you remember Greasy Kid Stuff -- well, I'm sorry.) 

Sociological signifcance aside, they're great spots, always good for a chortle.

Thanks for Checking In, but . . .

.  .  .  I've been out of town and slammed at work and when I finally get a spare moment it's paying bills, honey-do, and the usual business of life.  Even less time than usual to experience the Greatness of Listening to The Ticket.  In a way it's OK because so many of the hosts are on hiatus, but it does give a chance to hear some folks you don't hear as often.

A mixed blessing, to be sure.

I appreciate you taking  a peek to see if there's anything new, and I'll be back in a few days with some new blasts. 

Thanks again

Danny Draws Back the Curtain

A post or two ago I tossed a bouquet to Jeff Catlin , Program Director at The Little One (he may have a different Cumulus title, not sure).  He drops a line now and then, always polite, usually pointing out areas of disagreement, but always in pretty neutral tones.  I appreciate his communications and said so in the post.

An "Anonymous" poster, however, observed:  "Cat is a douche and doesn't respect all of his employees and most of the P1's."

I can't speak to Mr. Catlin's attitude towards his employees.  Although one does get the impression of a certain uneasy distance between JC and his charges, especially when he's referenced by Mike R on The Hardline.   As to the P1's, Your Plainsman mostly hears good things about his responsiveness, although I recall one commenter who didn't get a response to an email.  I imagine Mr. Catlin gets hundreds a day and probably doesn't (can't) respond to all of the genius suggestions he receives from The P1 Nation.  But perhaps Anonymous has information I lack.

Which is why I found this morning's Orphanage of interest.  (I'd been able to catch a fair amount of Cirque du Sirois (damned clever name) substituting for the Teebox.  Based on early returns, CdS is a pretty good show that suffers only from the Ben-and-Skin disease of the hosts sounding too much alike -- in this case for pretty good DNA-based reasons.  I'll have more to say about it in the future.)

Anyway, a caller on the "Ask the Orphanage" segment asked why The Ticket didn't run The Orphanage as a substitute programming for the regular weekday shows when those hosts were on vacation, since (in that caller's and his pals' opinion) the Orphanage was the best show on The Ticket.

Danny's initial response was "Because Cat hates us."  Upon brief reconsideration, he said that there were two reasons. 

First -- if I understood him correctly -- Danny explained that The Orphanage, as a successor to The Rant, got "grandfathered in" as a show that was not required to conform strictly to the X-percentage-of-sports-talk format.  Other shows, he said -- and I tend to credit this account -- are constantly importuned to maintain a substantial amount of actual sports talk.  The number Danny threw out was 60%, but I'm not sure if that was intended to be an accurate report or just an illustration of Cat's instruction to emphasize sports talk.  But The Orphanage is apparently exempt from that requirement, and Danny thought that Cat would not "trust" them to do a conventional sports-talk showgram substituting for a regular weekday show.  (Ironically, today's show was heavily sports-oriented, and probably had the most intensive World Cup coverage I've heard to date on The Ticket -- and since I usually tune such talk completely out, it was a tribute to the show that I didn't.)  

Second, he said, "Cat hates us."

I can understand why Mr. Catlin might have a problem with Mr. Balis.  I don't have a firm grip on Dave Lane's persona -- I gather he may have had a more prominent role on The Ticket in the past, perhaps before I got to Dallas in the mid-Oughts.  (I could never figure out who "Gen-X Davey" was.)   And I assume Dave has an actual paying job elsewhere.  Danny, however, gives every indication of being an actual honest-to-Jah free spirit who enjoys his freedom more than his radio gig and probably would not be the favorite of any supervisor who wanted employees to, you know, comply with his employer's instructions and policies, as employees are universally required to do.   

Cat's problem (if Danny's suggestion that there is a problem is to be credited), of course, is that -- putting aside attitude for the time being -- Danny is a truly gifted human.  Let's see:  He's a composer; producer; musical performer; witty; funny (not the same thing); a talented broadcaster as a secondary sidekick; a talented broadcaster as a show host; and a notable content provider ("What's On Mike's Mind" intros and other similar contributions).  Also a man-about-Dallas through his performing and his friendships with the Wilonskyesque Observer-orbit hipster element.  And a thoughtful mentor to that nice young Michael Gruber.     

And, I suspect, a Galaxy-Class pain in the ass to the KTCK/Cumulus overlords.

And it's true that the Dark Cloud emerges from time to time to annoy the hoi polloi P1 Nation with his overcool musical tastes and his cynicism about matters that may call for it in the abstract (for example, most of pop culture), but which he tends to oversmack on The Hardline.  But man, if he weren't there M-F 3:30-7, you'd miss him terribly. 

 (By the way -- does anyone know why George refers to him as "Big Dumb Danny"?  When I hear that [although I haven't heard him say it in awhile], I get this image of George walking around in a big glass house, with me standing outside with a chunk of feldspar -- or perhaps gneiss -- in my hand, ready to chuck.)

But returning to the original point -- doesn't it say something positive about Mr. Catlin that despite what he may see as unacceptable disrespect for Cumulus programming goals by the obstreperous Danny B, he recognizes what he's got and not only declines to terminate the the SOB, but actually gives him his own showgram?   

Before I sign off:    Will one of my faithful Confessors please remind me to post sometime on the extremely intriguing Danny B/Gordon K dynamic? 

Ah, dammit.  It's Great to Listen to The Ticket. Hurrah for the freakin' Fourth of July, everyone.

A Special Thanks to P1 Steven . . .

.  .  .  for the shout-out to My Ticket Confession on BaD Radio Screenless a few days back.  Very much appreciate the support, Steven, but I'm sure you had the BaD Radio boys scratching their heads.

In your honor, I've added you as a "label" so your fans can find you here when they search "P1 Steven."

Thanks

Mrs. Plainsman and I are on vacation.  I could listen to The Ticket online, but she would object that we should be out seeing the sights and doing stuff.  It's hard to argue with that.

But I'd rather be listening to The Ticket, which, as you know, It's Great to Do.

So until I return, I'll just note that in a couple of days this site will have its first anniversary.  After posting in obscurity for awhile, I began to pick up more and more readers until now I have quite a number of returning Confessors checking in.  Gotta thank Barb Smith for giving our profile a jump-start with her couple of emails letting us know she was doing OK.  To the best of my knowledge that was about the extent of her public statements on the departure, but I'm sure I've missed other communications.  In any case, thanks to Barb.

But mainly I want to thank each of you for -- perhaps "supporting" is too strong a word -- I think "checking in" puts it about right.   I'd been considering the idea of this site for a long time before I finally got it going.  I had thought that the P1 Nation probably contained a number of people like me who loved The Little One but didn't feel at home at some of the rowdier, inside-joke message boards and blogs, and who were tired of the negativity and flame wars, especially in the wake of Greggo the Hammer's separation from the station.  Who would be interested in something a little more expansive, and which would fearlessly note what KTCK was doing especially well, and not just what drives some of us goofy.

The growing readership -- it's not immense, but it's respectable and increasing -- suggests I may have been right.  In fact, the most gratifying thing about maintaining this site is that those who leave comments and send me email almost unanimously do so respectfully and thoughtfully.  I am hoping we're cultivating that kind of community here.

"The Plainsman" by John Steuart Curry

I've got a pokeful of topics waiting for my time to worry and noodge and tease into articles, but I could could always use more, so keep those comments and emails coming.  Seriously, what do you want to talk about?     Sometimes topics suggest themselves naturally from listening to the station on a day-to-day basis, which tend to shove the Big Picture pieces back in time, sometimes to their detriment.  Since I do have a day job and maintain a more popular general-interest blog in addition to this one, it's sometimes hard to get to this one in time to cover all topics of interest.  Recently, for example, I started (but didn't finish) a pretty incendiary piece on some recent Hardlines, but since I didn't complete it in a timely fashion it's starting to look a little stale.

There may be some changes in the coming year.  I'm at the point where it may make sense to start accepting advertising, and I hope to expand my coverage of the showgrams and sports topics covered.  (It would be helpful if I knew something about sports instead of just sports radio -- and some would say I don't know much about the latter, either.)

In any event, many thanks for clicking over now and then, and I'll try to continue to offer some thoughts you will find of interest from time to time.

Aloha.

Plainsman

Error Message

As several Confessors have pointed out, and as I myself have experienced, one of the reasons it is Great to Listen to The Ticket is because most communications to station management are graciously answered by Station Manager Jeff Catlin.

I got an email from him the other day saying that I "lose credibility" when I refer to the station as "WTCK."  This was nice from a couple of standpoints.  First, I like it when my mistakes are pointed out.  Second, he could have done it as a comment to a post, but instead he sent it to me privately.   Classy.

And he's right about the credibility.  I did a search and found four places where I'd made that mistake.  Now corrected.

I spent most of my life in Chicago, New York, and parts of the midwest where  most TV and radio stations call letters begin with "W."  (Starting in 1923, stations east of the Mississippi were designated with "W," and those west with "K," but stations that already had nonconformng call letters were allowed to keep them -- for example, WRR here in Dallas.)

Now that my credibility is beyond question, I'll have more priceless advice for The Little One in the near future. 

Going on vacation starting tomorrow, so posts may be a bit sporadic. 

Try to be brave.

The TeeBox Seems to Have Solved Its Sound Probems

Rick and Craig, sounding smooth this morning on their remote.

I will say that they've got those mics EQ'd very hot, especially Rick's.  Gives their voices kind of an overlying sizzle.

But at least it doesn't sound like they're broadcasting from a quarry.

Seriously -- Why Can't We Have Doyle King for Traffic Every Day? And I'm Putting Barb Smith and Alexis Smith in This Title So Google Searchers Will Find This Site, Even if They're Only Looking for Photos

Alexis Smith, Dallas Radio Traffic Twist, is a beautiful young woman.  And I like beautiful women of all ages.  In fact, a significant portion of traffic to this website consists of people looking for information on the Smiths, Alexis and Barb.  It only hurts my feelings a little bit.

And Barb is also a beautiful woman, in my judgment.  And she was very sweet to check in with My Ticket Confession following her departure from KTCK and let us know she was doing OK.  She is most welcome any time.  (Barb, how the blazes are you?  I'm here to tell you there are many listeners eager for news of you, so let the Confessor Nation hear from you.)

Actually, I think the Tickheads and Confessors who are seeking Barb Smith and Alexis Smith information  are actually looking for pictures.

And I like to drive traffic to this site, so I'm going to copy some pictures here, although I only know of one recent unadulterated picture of Barb, that is:

There are a couple of more purporting to be Alexis, whose image is apparently also a favored destination of Dallas radio aficionados, so they can enjoy this one:

Alexis does an admirable job delivering the mostly-irrelevant traffic.  In fact, she does such a good job that one tends not to pay the slightest attention to her, just as one does with most traffic reports.  Whenever I hear Alexis's voice, I turn my head toward it and see -- my radio.  Which looks nothing like her.  (Alexis, Confessors await your instructions, which I would be pleased to convey via the Comments section.)

But I come today in praise of Doyle King.  A Confessor must confess that, to the mainstream Tickhead, he is not as cute as Barb or Alexis:

But even when all he is doing is delivering the traffic -- no schtick, no call-outs for a Dallas sports team, no telling stories about his wild past -- he is still very entertaining to listen to.  There's just something about the music of that voice, slick and radio-polished though it may be.

So my question is:  Why can't we have Doyle every single day?  What does he do when he's not filling in?  Wikipedia reports:  "He currently serves as a traffic producer for Traffic.com, a Navteq company, and substitute traffic director at SportsRadio 1310 The Ticket as well as an occasional 'Plus One' show host on days when more prominent guests are not in studio."   I've never heard him as a Plus-One, although he may have done that in the past that I've missed.  And it is inconceivable to me that a "traffic producer" does anything whatsoever except wait to be called to fill in at The Ticket.

So, as lovely as the Smiths are, why can't we have Doyle King every single day?  He might be the only guy in Dallas who could make traffic an actual draw for the showgrams.

But he probably won't drive much traffic to My Ticket Confession.

What Is That Haunting Acoustic Guitar Vamp Behind the Latest Ticket Promo?

It's the ad where Conrad says "we've got an app for that, too" near the end of the ad.  I don't know how to describe it, but the music has a repeated guitar figure that's been torturing me for the past week.

Another NPR Moment -- But Not The Ticket's Fault

I was just sitting here, going over my list of topics to write on, nothing inspiring me on a Monday morning, listening to the Muser Showgram, when I heard it.

In fact, I heard it for the second time this morning.

I reached for the dial and turned the sound all the way down.  As sometimes happens, I forget to turn it back up after the minute or so had passed.  And so missed precious minutes of Muser broadcasting greatness.

What was this item that causes me to turn immediately to NPR (if I'm listening on something with easy presets) or turn The Ticket completely off (if I'm not)?

It's the Race Trac ad delivered by someone portraying the fictional "Chris Hooper," the head of the Cupholder Installers Union.

I thought I would never hear an ad more stupid than the AT&T ad about the guy who was going in to buy an aquarium and couldn't figure out which fish to get, the stupidity of which I note here.

I was wrong.  This Race Trac ad, which is supposed to get you to want to buy one of those cups that you can fill up all summer for a few bucks, is the worst radio ad I have ever heard.  The largeness of the cup is apparently inimical to the function of the cupholders installed by the union.  Hell, I don't need to describe it to you.  You've heard it dozens, hundreds of times.

It is:

   --   incompetently conceived;

   --   incompetently written;

   --   incompetently produced;

   --   incompetently directed;

   --   incompetently acted; and

   --   incompetently edited.

YES, I UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS SUPPOSED TO SOUND AMATEURISH.  I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HEAR THE PAPER RUSTLING AROUND IN THE BACKGROUND.   I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HEAR THE BAD EDITS.   But it does not even do a good job of conveying casual amateurism.  It's so wrapped up in attempting to convey amateurism that it doesn't realize that it's slugging you over the head with it in the slickest possible way.  The thing is so overwrought and precious that it insults the listener, who is apparently too stupid to get anything more subtle and witty.  And the poor actor who has to read this unfunny copy has to completely come unglued over the possibility that purchasing the Race Trac product could cause you to lose a finger.  There's a place for hyperbole in humor -- The Ticket is pretty much based on it -- but this is just moronic.

And why would anyone buy your product when your ad campaign is based on pointing out how it can damage your vehicle?  Those gigantic cups are hard to stick in cupholders.

The Ticket can't be blamed for accepting this ad from Race Trac, which has purchased an incredible volume of ad time for this misbegotten bilge.  But me, when I hear Chris Hooper stammering onto the air, I just catch up on my biased news reporting on "Morning Edition" or "All Things Considered."

And sometimes, I forget to return to The Ticket.

Mike R is Kinda Interested in Syndication

By the purest coincidence, The Hardline briefly turned to the subject of syndication a shortly after Your Plainsman's trailblazing article on the subject a couple of weeks ago.  Mike had been browsing the latest number of Talkers Magazine that was devoted to syndication.

Michael Rhyner, Canny Market Observer

It wasn't a long conversation.  When Mike brought it up, Corby was instantly dismissive.  His position seemed to be that syndication was all right for some kinds of shows, but not for The Hardline.

Corby Davidson, Conservative Media Strategist

Mike was not so sure.  He didn't challenge Corby outright, but -- and I might well have been imagining things -- you could tell by the sound of his voice as he discussed the contents of the article that he was thinking ahead to the future of The Hardline and, possibly, KTCK Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket.

I do not need to remind faithful Confessors that Michael Rhyner was something of a visionary in this market when he cobbled The Ticket together a decade-and-a-half ago.  His musings on where the market is headed ought not be taken lightly.

Michael Rhyner, Ecstatic Radio Prophet

Now, as it happens, when I wrote the article a couple of weeks ago, I did not think The Hardline was a particularly good candidate for syndication in its present form -- and by "form," I didn't mean Mike-Corby-Danny-Grubes-Ty, which is a perfectly splendid form of very talented men.  I meant the overall flavor of the showgram, which is probably the least sportsy and most blue of the shows.  Perfectly marvelous for the long-time listeners who love the insidedness of it all (me too), but possibly a little too spicy for quick success in a new major market.

Upon reflection, though, I think The Hardline might be a very fine candidate for syndication into North Texas small-to-medium markets.  Sort of like what Wolfe was planning to try with Greggo the Hammer.  (Not only more potentially Hardline-friendly markets, but no -- or less -- danger of competition with other Cumulus properties.)   If that were successful, perhaps they could dip their toe into Texas metro generally.

And I don't need to tell you that any expansion into nearby markets -- depending on how nearby -- might help solve some of The Little One's abysmal signal problems.  Maybe not for local Confessors, but for those in outlying areas who now rely on iPhone apps and Internet streams.

Inexplicably, neither Ticket nor Cumulus management has turned to Your Plainsman for far-seeing radio advice on any of the topics upon which I have presumed to offer guidance.   

No offense taken.  

CONFIDENTIAL MEMORANDUM TO: That Certain Commander

I'm not the only one who reaches for the dial when Gordon baits George.  I hear from the very Sweetest of the Clean that they join me in finding Gordon's near-constant baiting of George tiresome and unamusing.   It usually takes the form of attributing to George racist-sexist-antigay-stupid off-air statements that he did not make or positions that he does not hold and that, in fact, no rational person would.   Its stale; it's overfrequent; and, unlike some repeated Ticket gags, not funny.  Alas, Gordon, in most of his ventures a very great favorite of My Ticket Confession, has not sought Your Plainsman's advice on this topic, so the baiting goes on.

Copyright The UnTicket.com

Used without permission.

Here's an example.  April 9.  I wrote it down, although the following quotes are inexact.  Gordon is talking about a jewelry heist by a gang of Hispanic individuals. 

GORDON:  "George thought the guys were probably caught when they were found in a nearby park taking a siesta with big sombreros pulled down over their faces."

GEORGE:  "I never said that."

There are two things to notice about this (and the same analysis could be made of almost every single other instance of baiting).  One obvious, one less obvious.

First:  We'll put aside the fact that it's Gordon that is making the offensive racial stereotype references.   The problem is that it isn't amusing.  It isn't witty.  It isn't clever.  It isn't even aurally interesting.  It is just a lie told about George at the expense of Mexicans.  It's dumb.   And -- how about this? -- it brings the story he is actually telling to a complete stop.   So -- not quality broadcasting.

Second:  George reacts.   He does so every time.  He does it almost the same way every time.  That is, he denies what is obviously false.  Sometimes he switches it up and says "That's what you say," or in some other way feebly attempts to attribute the slander to Gordon.  Whatever he says -- he rises to the bait and hits it. 

Now, perhaps I'm overreacting here.  Perhaps The P1 Nation finds the George-baiting to be can't-miss radio.   For those of you who, like me, find it to be show-killing filler, you will be pleased to know that I have hit upon the solution to this metastisizing anti-comedy.  

I came to understand that in ranting against Gordon I was attacking the part of the problem least likely to yield to my subtle and informed critique.  I now see that the proper solution is not to attempt to affect the supply (that is, Gordon, the incorrigible provider of aggravation) but rather the demand (George, its hapless consumer). 

Here's how you stop it:

George:  Lay out.

When Gordon claims that you have said or believe some stupid thing, just sit there.  Let the bait sink past you, straight to the bottom, while Gordon sits on the showgram shoreline, stalk of alfalfa sticking out of his mouth, waiting for you to chomp down on the lure.   Stop the dull game by swimming away.  Not one word.  If he persists -- not one word.  Let Gordon's flop sweat fill the studio.

Comedians who don't get a reaction to a joke cycle it out of their routine.  Time for this one to suffer that fate.  You'll thank me.  The Sweet Clean Nation will thank you. 

Who says this site isn't on the cutting edge of sophisticated Ticket commentary?

A Tale of Two Showgrams

The past two days we heard the best and worst of The Hardline.

The showgram's coverage of the Ranger's bankruptcy announcement was amazing.  They had Chuck Greenberg on within hours -- great work by someone there, a producer, station management.  Possibly Greenberg's public relations people.  Doesn't matter.  And although I missed some of the broadcast, I thought I caught a bankruptcy expert on a little bit later on the same show (it might have been the end of Greenberg's interview, but it sounded like whoever it was was talking technicalities).  Great job, the interviews were good.  The Ticket and The Hardline at their best.

Then  .  .  .  yesterday.  You can't even call this a failed bit.  You could sense the train wreck coming from the second that Mike tried to introduce it.  They were going to be interviewing a bankruptcy lawyer, but Mike couldn't seem to read his name, and in any event he couldn't pronounce it.  Pronounced it several different ways -- Defoe, Dafore, Dayfoe.  Danny didn't know, either.  The next time Mike teased it, he got the guy's first name wrong and had to come back and correct it a little later.  Show prep, hmm.

Let's stop here for a minute.  Even before the interview, I'm thinking:  OK, what's happening here?  This isn't one of those lawyer "friends of The Ticket" who come on from time to time to offer informed commentary on specialized issues.  This is someone new.  Now, Ticket guys and Ticket management know lawyers.  In the first place, you can't avoid the damned things, and in she second place, The Ticket is a multimillion dollar business even apart from Cumulus, and those businesses usually have very capable lawyers clustered around them, although one would not expect The Ticket to be needing any insolvency counsel.  Mike and Corby probably had legal counsel the last time they signed Ticket contracts.  Is this a guy that someone at The Ticket invited to come on the showgram?  Was he recommended by one of Cumulus's corporate lawyers?  If so, you would think that the show prep would have included somebody knowing the guy's name and how to pronounce it.  And -- more importantly -- might have done a very brief pre-interview to see if the guy was ready for drive time.

But I had another thought, which may excuse The Hardline.  This lawyer might have been a gigantic P1 who called a producer or someone and begged to come on the show, claiming bankruptcy expertise.  (A professional can't buy any better advertising in this radio market.)   And The Hardline, being a generous and soft-hearted and definitely a P1-friendly bunch, said sure, we'd like to learn more about this bankruptcy caper.  Good idea.  So they wrote the guy's name down, and no one was quite sure how to pronounce it, and they slotted him in for a segment.  Had no idea what they were getting.  Poor Mike, underinformed, struggles through the teases.

Then the guy comes on, and he is an utter buster.  He sounded nervous.  His voice was radio-adverse.  He was unspeakably dull and slow (although knowledgeable enough).  Mike conducted the interview, and soon sounded like he would have preferred to be surrounded by a pack of consultants wearing Cubs paraphernalia.  I tried to imagine he and Corby and Danny and Grubes looking at each other, rolling their eyes, grabbing their throats, searching desperately for a way out of this segment which was in the process of single-handedly raising the drive-time ratings for 103.3 KESN by five points.  The guy droned on.  Mike manfully attempted to maintain interest.

Finally -- a new voice.  Corby.  He spoke very slowly, in an unaccustomedly low register, his voice dripping with contempt and disgust.  Well, sir, he said, this is a very technical area -- or words to that effect -- and then:  "but you've made it fun for us."   

At that point I pictured Danny and Grubes unable to contain their mirth, blowing bits of their earlier Taco Bueno repast out their noses and severing their optic nerves.  A perfect ending to a Three-Mile Island segment -- Corby going from delightfully abrasive, falling all the way through annoying asshole, and skidding to a stop at ungracious prick.  A very funny prick, but a prick nonetheless, and I'm a big Corby fan and defender.  An amazing performance:  this esteemed BK counselor had managed to focus a spotlight on everything that Confessors criticize about The Hardline and to undo their really superb work of the day before.

No one was saved.

The Musers could retire the E-Brake award on that segment.

God, I'd love to know the inside baseball on that one.

The Time Has Come to Speak of Syndication

Since I began this page I have offered many sound pieces of advice to Cumulus:  Give KTCK-FM the 93.3 signal; buy Michael Gruber some better equipment; work Mike Bacsik into The Hardline.  OK, two out of three.  Number 3 seemed like a good idea at the time.  The Hardline got better, Bacsik got drunk.  Who can predict these things?

Here's number four:  Give some serious thought to syndicating some of The Ticket original programming.  Below I'll offer some priceless advice on what's more likely to appeal to remote entertainment-starved 25-54 males.

I've been mulling over syndication for all or part of The Ticket for awhile.  My interest increased when I read that John Clay Wolfe was thinking of syndicating Greg Williams after they made a deal for Hammer to join the former's radio organization.  And the subject screamed for an article when Junior Miller advised the P1 Nation that The Ticket was the number one ranked station on Wunder Radio, the iPhone app that lets users listen to radio stations from around the world.  The BBC was ranked second.  I looked for those rankings online and couldn't find them.  If any Confessors know where they can be found I would appreciate the advice.

What does this tell us?  Well, it may tell us nothing more than that former Dallas residents are scattered far and wide and keep in touch with Wunder Radio.  Or it may tell us that lots and lots of Dallas listeners tune in via Wunder Radio. 

But enough to account for the number one ranking?  I think it is quite possible that it means that word of The Little One has spread beyond its meager signal and that listeners with no other connection to Dallas are tuning in.  And didn't I hear Bob Sturm tell us one day that KTCK segments are among the most popular downloads on iTunes, not number one but way up there in the rankings with world-renowned broadcasts?

More to the point -- as Michael Rhyner never tires of reminding us, It's Great to Listen to The Ticket.  It's an amazing broadcast property up and down the broadcast day.  Even if all those Wunder Radio guys and podcast downloaders are local, it's a heckuva thing for The Little One to be at or near the top of those rankings.  That means that it is, indeed, great to listen to The Ticket for reasons other than its spotty local sports coverage.  (My acquaintances who listen to other sports stations do so for exactly that reason -- more sports.)  That's my Confession -- I'd love to tinker with it as I report from time to time, but when all is said and done, it's pretty much an unalloyed pleasure.  And there is little reason to think that it would not find listener approval in lots of other markets.

I spent about five years in San Diego.  When I lived there, Jim Rome got his start a fill-in weekend host on XTRA 690, the Mexico-transmitter-based sports-talk station out there (actually, XETRA).   Then Rome got a midday show and The Jungle was born.  Then he moved to Los Angeles.  And then he was syndicated.  And now he's a big deal.  I am a Jim Rome radio fan and wonder when another sports talker here is going to sign him up.  He'd be formidable competition for BaD Radio.

(DIGRESSION:  XTRA 690  is the same station that featured the amazing Lee "Hacksaw" Hamilton. The Hardline makes vicious fun of him, and there's a lot to make fun of, but his afternoon drive show was an astonishing piece of broadcasting. If you can imagine Norm without the stats and gambling, but with all the enthusiasm and accompanying irascibility, and one of the greatest radio voices you will ever hear, you've got Hacksaw. His introduction in which he places "topics on the table" is a perfect encapsulation of the sports news of the day. And his play-by-play for the Chargers was on a par with Brad Sham. Really. [Hacksaw and the Chargers parted company some time ago.]   His show was very caller-driven, unlike The Ticket showgrams -- might not work here.  But man, the guy brought in the listeners.  The Ticket could do worse than bring Hacksaw out to do a nighttime show, just like they brought former enemy Norm into the fold.)

The point being that a local program can easily succeed in other markets if the quality is there.  And I think most Confessors would agree that The Ticket -- although in many ways unique in a local sort of way -- represents radio broadcasting of a very high order.

Let me hasten to add that I know approximately dick about syndication.  I have the notion, for which I have no support, that other than the cost of the sales effort, it would require almost no additional capital investment.  The production of the programs is already financed -- all you have to do is get the feed to the syndicatee, let it sell some commercials, and Cumulus watches the mail for the checks to come in.  I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but really -- what could it cost?  If you can get it on Wunder Radio, if you can get it online, you can provide it to KXXX Sports Radio 790 in Odessa.

So how would The Ticket fare in syndication?  A few thoughts.  (I told you I've been cooking this one for awhile.)

(1) Much of The Ticket's sports content is not local.  All of the shows highlight sports news of national interest.   I wouldn't want them to deemphasize their local sports coverage, but there would have to be some adjustments in content.  Frankly, expanding The Tickets list of topics couldn't hurt.  There's only so much you can say about a team at an particular time of the year.  

The non-sports local content is more of a problem.  (For example, Community Quick Hits, which Everybody Probably Wouldn't Love in San Antonio.)   But I don't think it's a big problem.  The broadcasting is inherently interesting, and it doesn't really matter that some of the topics relate to matters that are not taking place in the syndacatee's hometown. 

Besides, fart humor is universal.

(2) Syndication could start with Texas properties or possibly other Cumulus properties (which probably wouldn't be technically classified as syndication at all).  And they might start with syndication to North Texas stations whose listeners have an interest in the Dallas teams.  I have to believe that would be a low-risk proposition.  Syndicate to Amarillo; Longview/Tyler; and the like.  See how it goes.  Why wouldn't a struggling radio property outside of a major city (and believe me -- and as someone who has investigated purchasing radio stations, I know a little whereof I speak here -- they're all struggling) want to jettison the costs of producing some of a day's broadcasting but still get advertising revenue?

(3) You can syndicate to non-sports-talk stations.  You can imagine that a rural station might want to run local-interest stuff during the day, but would run sports-talk in the evening or sometime when men might tune in.  (Since The Ticket is not caller-intensive, a non-real-time broadcast isn't such a weakness.)

(4)  What, if any, of the Ticket is syndicatable?  (Syndacatable?)  My current view:

Musers:  Yes.
Norm:  Possibly, probably.
BaD Radio:  Probably not in its current configuration.
Hardline:  No

Let's focus on the anchor showgrams, The Musers and The Hardline.  Love Norm but it's a two-hour showgram and possibly not so attractive as a stand-alone.  But possibly worth offering as a package with The Musers.  BaD Radio I have some thoughts about that I'll save for another article.  Obviously a popular property, but not an immediately acquirable taste, in my view. 

I treasure The Hardline, but they would have to take show prep more seriously, and I assume that syndication requires a little more attention to things like, oh, I don't know, the clock?  And they would have to clean the show up considerably.  The casual profanity, misogyny, and sexual and excremental references would have to reined in if not eliminated.  I happen to think that the show would not be adversely affected by these changes, but it would unquestionably change its character in a way that DFW listeners might not like.

The Musers are a different story.  That showgram does seem to have a greater respect for show prep, and it has a smoother feel overall.  It is not as vulgar as The Hardline (again, I'd like to have a less vulgar Hardline, but I acknowledge that that's part of what makes it Hard, and I listen to it religiously), and it has a more conventional feel to it that would go down easier issuing from foreign transmitters.  It would be very liberating for Gordon, who would instantly have a reason to expand his repertoire of targets.  George and Junior are likable without a lot of learning time, and Gordon, when he's not wrecking the show, could be a breakout national talent. 

I acknowledge that The Ticket is a unique broadcast property.  It doesn't sound like much of anything else on the radio, even if you limit the universe to sports radio.  It might be a tough sell, although the Gentleness of The Gentle Musers seems to me to be tailor-made for a wider audience.  Throw Norm in, and program directors in East Jeebus could solve their morning problems.  If that worked, you see if Austin and Oklahoma City might have an interest.  From there, who knows?  Omaha?

And then you could buy Michael Gruber some better toys.

Satellite?

Those NPR Moments

I've had this one on my list for awhile.  I'd started a list of things on The Ticket, those few islands in the ocean of excellence that is The Little One where I just have to change the channel.  Since the boys have been reviewing their own "Ticket Krytonite" these days, I thought this might be a time to roll out this series.

(I don't always turn to NPR.  In fact, I don't like NPR all that much, but if I'm not going to listen to The Ticket I might as well get some news.  A fair amount of the time I'll flip to KNTU 88.1, the University of North Texas jazz station, or Little Steven's Underground Garage (Sirius 25) or one of the satellite jazz offerings or the Sinatra channel.  Seems odd that with my tastes I'd be listening to The Ticket instead of these joints -- but, as Mike R says, its great to listen  .  .  .  .)

There are several things that tend to make me wander off the dial, but I'll just hit one of them today that I was reminded of listening to The Musers yesterday: 

The Ticket hosts should never, ever, discuss serious current events.

Sure, everyone's entitled to his or her dumb opinion.  And heaven knows it's all over the radio.  But one of the reasons I like The Ticket is that the hosts give an impression of intelligence and knowledge.

This impression is seriously damaged when they talk politics or other more-or-less serious non-sports topics.  You know, stuff other than farting and conspicuously hot and non-hot women.  And this is the impression I get even when I agree with their viewpoint.  Yesterday, for example, Junior dreamed out loud of a day when someone would create a third party called -- hell, I forget, something like "the Centerist" party.  It just sounded puerile and dumb.  George sounds awful when he tries to defend his views, views that I agree with most of the time.  The one guy who seems like he might  read news articles all the way to the end is Gordon.  (Gordon is an interesting case in this regard, and I'm going to write about him sometime in the near future.) 

The Musers stray into this unfamiliar territory more frequently than the other shows, and I'm not entirely sure why.  Maybe because it's the morning, which is generally more news-intensive across the board.  By the time The Hardline rolls around, there's some fresh sports meat for consideration.  When The Hardline strays from sports its usually into show-biz or some pop-culture scandal or the like.  But when they do talk politics -- whew.

Anyway, there's one of my NPR Moments.  Yours?

Once Again, the Teebox Seems to Be Broadcasting from Pluto

On April 10, I made a note of particular horrible-sounding broadcast of The Teebox.  I don't mean the content was bad -- I mean the sound was atrocious.  A week or so later, even Danny made note of it on the handoff to The Orphanage.  RickArnett seemed very surprised that Danny had remarked on how bad the broadcast sounded.  So apparently he and Craig Rosengarden aren't aware of this.

I'm listening to it right now and I can't believe that The Ticket hasn't corrected this.  Other remotes don't sound like this.  This is not a signal-strength or reception problem -- this is a hardware problem.  Somewhere between the hosts' lips and the transmitter some foul and awful thing is happening to those soundwaves. 

I'm not sure how I can describe it.  It sounds like a digital broadcast where only about a third of the bits are coming out of the speaker.  A very rough sound, like these guys should be clearing their throats after every word.  Incredibly unappealing.  Other remotes don't sound this way.  I'm wondering if The Avid Golfer buys this time and uses non-Cumulus equipment. 

The Orphanage has just come on and it sounds fine.  Nope, something is rotten in the bowels of The Teebox's technology.  Someone should tell these guys.

Too bad.  It's a really nice show.  And I don't even play golf or particularly like anything about it.  But, like a lot of stuff on The Ticket, it holds your interest because of the skill of the hosts. 

A Nice Moment

It's always refreshing when the hosts take a moment to send out some props.  Yesterday, I believe it was, George took note of Ron Washington stepping up to take responsibility for the pitching moves that resulted in a Ranger loss.  He observed that other local head coaches seem never to acknowledge any responsibility for a loss.  While they're frequently correct, it cannot be the case that good game management leads to victories but game management coaching never leads to losses.  Washington stepped up, and even though the guy has become something of a punching bag -- and gets little credit when the team plays well for stretches -- George made note of Washington's concession.  Don't hear that a lot in sports-talk radio. 

Another reason why:  It's great to listen to The Ticket.

George Proves My Point

Yesterday I wrote about Jumior Miller's consummate skill as the larfing sidekick during the 8:40 bit.  Hard to seem sincerely amused -- which brings the listener in, keeps him listening -- without overdoing it.  Junior is the Picasso, yes, dare I say, the Norman Rockwell of this delicate art.

Yesterday he got some relief from his larfing chores because Gordon did the Snapper John M.D. bit solo, so George could carry some of the pretend-audience burden.

It was an OK bit, middle-of-the-road, predictable naughty anatomical-feature jokes, a peculiar choice of voice, but OK.

George seriously, seriously overlaughed, to the point where I actually began to question whether George has  a sense of humor.  He was practically breathless as he wheezed out peals of mirth. 

Of course, in comparison to the subtle master, Junior -- who was doubtless looking on disapprovingly as George chortled uncontrollably -- anything would have sounded contrived.

The Guy with the Hardest Job at The Ticket

No, it's not the grossly underpaid but highly talented guys like Michael Gruber, Danny Balis, and some of the other guys who put in astounding hours for low-five-figure revenues.

It's Craig "Junior" Miller.

Junior is blessed with high intelligence but cursed by not being a good mimic or comedy writer.  He is further cursed by sharing his program with two guys that are good mimics, and one of those (Gordon) is both an excellent and prolific writer, and the other (George) has unexpectedly good timing and even weaves some improv around what I expect are some fairly skeletal Gordon scripts.

When you have to come up with a couple of sketches per show, some will inevitably hit and others will miss.  I'm constantly impressed at how good this work is, and how consistent it is. 

But this is comedy that is played to one listener at a time, over the radio.  Comedy is impossible to perform convincingly without feedback. 

The feedback is Junior's gift.

He is charged with keeping these sketches going by reacting with laughter.  This must be incredibly difficult.  He has to provide enough audible yuks to bring the individual listener into the fun as a participant in the hugely dispersed audience, but not overlaugh and draw attention to himself, or sound like an idiot by exhibiting a degree of hilarity that is not justified by the yuk-value of the material.  And it has to sound sincere, not merely polite.  How often do you laugh out loud when sitting in your home alone watching a comedy on TV, or reading a humor piece?  Like, almost never?  And how often have you been buttonholed by someone telling you something they think is hilarious, and you feel compelled not to give offense by offering up a few ha-has?  And you feel that same dilemma -- show appreciation for the story, be nice to the speaker, but don't overdo it.

I have been listening carefully to Junior's laughing, and I do believe the man is a master.  Now the fact is that Gordon is a pretty good comedy writer both for bits and his newspaper column.  With all the material he terns out, there is going to be some repetition of motifs and the rhythms and style have become identifiable.  But it's still pretty good, and both he and George have become accomplished radio performers.  So it's not like it's a terrible burden for Junior to show amusement.  But it must be difficult to pitch it correctly gag after gag, bit after bit.  He starts out with a gentle chuckle, and as Gordon back-loads the better gags as his scripts careen toward the punch line, Junior's laughing increases in volume and rises in register and concludes with a hearty belly-laugh as the dial-tone clicks on. 

It is a performance in itself, and I think it's time he got some credit for it.

How . . . Great . . . Was It?

I heard most but not all of The Great Game.  Hoping one of  you Confessors will give us a report on what it looked like in 3-D.

I got the strong impression that this game wasn't a whole lot of fun for the participants.  There wasn't much horsing around.  Nothing that made it onto the radio, anyway.  Bad feelings from last year?   All of the gags used up in the prior games? 

Now let me say that broadcasts like this remind me of what a gift Norm Hitzges is to the metroplex.  The raw play-by-play sounded like a complete drag to be watching, but Norm worked very hard to make the thing entertaining.  After awhile I realized that there wasn't much going on on the field of much interest, and Norm was keeping the thing alive with Ralphie as best he could.

But the fact that Norm was the main attraction is the same as saying that the game sort of came and went, the guys went through the motions, Mike came out to argue once, and then it was over. 

The event seems like it should be a good time -- maybe a Confessor has some idea about how the thing could be livened up without destroying its essential baseball-y nature.  And, as I say, perhaps a first-hand report from one of y'all could bring a little perspective, for which I thank you in advance.

Wanna go Camping?

That's a punchline to a pretty good, but pretty dirty joke.  If you don't know it, let me know.

So what did we all think about the camping experience?

A couple of random observations.

First, it reminds us that listening to a drunken conversation is a lot funnier, and a lot more fun, when you are a drunken participant in it.   I'm sure we have all had the experience of being the only sober person when everyone around us is drunk.  (Haven't we?)  It can be fun, but it can also be vaguely discomfiting, as we are embarrassed over the behavior of people we know to be, in the usual case, honorable and civilized.  Interesting how being drunk makes one thinks certain utterances are howlingly funny, but when those utterances are received by unebriated ears, the only reaction is bafflement and embarassment. 

Second -- there seems to be a schizophrenic reaction at the station.  I had thought that the hosts who commented on it -- even Mike R -- were fairly positive about it.  But I was listening to the Orphanage/Rant Saturday morning -- or was it the Newbery/McClaren show, I forget -- where there was a report that the participants were lukewarm on the thing.

In general, I liked it.  I thought it was worthwhile, and pretty funny, and different, and it's interesting to hear the mix-and-match hosts coming in and out of the various programs.  Kind of an informal Wife Swap.  Even the drunken broadcasting was, a a minimum, something one doesn't hear often from any kind of public media.  Mavericks Radi 1310 was a mild disappointment to me, because I was not watching the game at the time and the commentary itself did not state what was going on.  So when the boys would start howling it was not possible for me to hook it up with what was happening on the court.  In general, I thought it was a success.

I do have one question:  Was it really the "Musers'" Woodfood Reserve Campout?  Or is that just what the Musers called it?  Woodford Reserve is associated with Corby.  No big deal, just interesting the little ways the Musers and Hardline guys try to one-up each other.  (BaD Radio never tries to one-up anyone.)
I can understand why they're doing the camping instead of the Compound where they trash some poor developer's house that he can't sell.  It's hard for a radio station to destroy an entire forest over two days.

Listening Too Hard

So I'm listening to this AT&T ad that runs all the time about the guy who can't buy a lionfish because it would eat the anglerfish, and he can't buy the anglerfish because it would eat the clownfish, and he can't buy a clownfish because, well, he doesn't want a clownfish.

That's stupid.

If he doesn't want a clownfish, then he doesn't have to worry about the anglerfish eating it.

So buy the damned anglerfish, dumbass.

And while you're at it, switch to Verizon.

A Couple of Final Thoughts on Mike Bacsik

I had speculated that Mike Bacsik was in trouble at the station even before his exclusion from The Great Game.  I didn't hear all of the hosts yesterday, but it appears that at least as far as his immediate colleagues are concerned, my impression may have been incorrect.  They uniformly sang his praises, said what a good guy he was.  That makes his exclusion from The Great Game puzzling -- hard to believe Junior has the juice to exclude a guy who was, overall, good for TGG last year -- but I'm prepared to believe it.

As Mike Rhyner suggested in yesterday's show, Ticket guys -- all of them -- aren't employed by a local family station where everyone can rally 'round a wounded colleague.  They're employed by Cumulus, a publicly-traded national company.  When an employee commits a horrific public gaffe like Bacsik did, there are two --actually, two-and-a-half -- major considerations:

(1)  Bottom Line.   Cumulus does not have a property in San Antonio, but it has plenty of properties in plenty of places that have plenty of Latino listeners.  And even if Latinos don't make up a significant portion of Cumulus listenership, if the story has legs (as it appears that it does), you can imagine that Latino activists would pressure Latino businesses to boycott Cumulus and yank their advertising.  Not a difficult choice to end this crisis before it starts.

(2)  Legal / Human Resources.  These aren't really two things, but maybe one-and-a-half.  The issue here isn't external, it's internal.  The law these days sometimes doesn't require any particularly awful single event to happen to an emloyee in order to impose liability on the employer.  The employer's tolerance of a hostile racial/sexual/you-name-it "environment" may be introduced into evidence.  So even though Bacsik didn't oppress anyone at Cumulus, if he weren't dealt with severely it could be brought up as evidence in a later discrimination case to show that Cumulus tolerates an atmosphere where racial slurs are no big deal.

So he had to go.

The "dirty Mexicans" remark was stupid enough, but let's not overlook the threat to bomb the NBA, which is equally stupid.  For reasons I don't need to explain.  It doesn't even matter if he "meant" either one of these remarks.  If this is what comes out when he's drunk, frankly, he's probably not what you want around a company whose business consists entirely of interacting with the public.

Sorry to see the man go -- Your Confessor had big plans for him.

This is Professional Radio Broadcast Management?

We all know that The Ticket is this astounding radio powerhouse.  Dominant in the ratings that matter.  Lousy signal, but obviously doing many, many things right.  So why, so often, does it seem like like it's managed like Chrysler?

It amuses us that The Little One is kind of a ramshackle construction, a bunch of guys just having a good time playing radio grabass, feuding, embracing, launching e-brakes in enormous numbers, generally doing the kind of things that a bunch of smart-but-not-smart-to-a-fault-except-Gordon regular guys would do if they were given a radio station to play with.  For the longest time I thought that was just an illusion, that the casualness was really a reflection of a very unique talent for making the difficult (interesting radio broadcasting) seem effortless.

But a couple of things are causing me to rethink this position.  On April 14 I wrote about The Amazing Ty Walker Final Four Screwup, where The Ticket had major boots on the ground in Atlanta and not a single host had the slightest awareness of it.  Rich Phillips claimed the producers knew about it via email, but the producers weren't talking.  So either no one likes Ty Walker, or there was a complete failure of communicaton.

And then, yesterday, Corby and Mike show up for a remote at American Airlines Center, only to find that it had been cancelled.  No engineers, no nothing, just Corby and Mike phoning in their location to Sturm/McDowell/Lewis.  (By the way, Corby handled that exceptionally well -- he was very funny on the phone.)   The only insight we had on this was that Rich Phillips had told the engineers the remote was off because of the late start of the game.  Corby amusingly suggested that perhaps the show hosts should have been let in on this. 

Rich was not on hand to defend himself.  If he had been there and inclined to disclose what had gone on behind the scene, I suspect he would have said (1) yeah, I mentioned it to the engineers but the show hosts don't report to me and it was someone else's job to give them their broadcast assignments, or (2) I did tell the show hosts, via email, but they don't read their emails carefully. 

Now I'm sure it's the case that remotes are somewhat dicey propositions to begin with, complicated to pull off successfully every time, getting everyone to the right place at the right time, and The Ticket does gobs of remotes.   (Although by this time, you'd think they'd have the remote tech and setup down pat, but there are still many technical glitches with remotes.)  

But, as with the Ty Walker episode, it does seem as though people who need to talk to one another at The Little One just don't do so.  

And what do these episodes have in common?  The Ticket's Own Man of Mystery.  Also observed here.  A broadcaster I admire quite a lot, but there's something up with him at the station that I expect we'll hear about by and by.

I Kinda Guessed Right About Bacsik's Position at The Little One

A few days ago I couldn't figure out why Mike Bacsik had been banned from The Great Game.  Yeah, he left his team's dugout to pitch for the other team last year, but that didn't seem as though it should have been a disqualifying transgression.  So I wondered whether there weren't something else going on with Bacsik at the station.

Yeah, well, I don't know about his behavior at the station, but apparently a pretty strong streak of jerkitude was revealed over the weekend in some extremely ill-advised Twitter transmissions.  He wasn't on with Norm yesterday.

So maybe there is something else going on with Bacsik, and maybe it's that he's not all that good a guy.

A Handful of Draft Quick Hits

(1)  Say what you want about Cumulus, they pull out the stops when it comes to the draft and the result is some entertaining, informative broadcasting.  I don't know much about college football and frankly don't care much about it, but the show holds my attention. 

(2)  Norm is the acknowledged expert, but my ears perk up when I hear the resonant murmur of Bob Sturm.  Don't let the guy anywhere near an interview, but even his occasional asides are worth listening to.  The more I hear of the guy and read his blog, the more admire his real sports savvy. 

(3)  It is disconcerting to hear Mike Rhyner as the yuck-monkey.  I always like hearing his voice, but I'm not entirely sure what he's doing there.  I'm not sure he knows, either.  Throws in a gag or a non-specific observation here and there.  I'm not being critical -- I'm just saying that when he's not running a show doing what he's good at doing, it's faintly discomfiting to hear him just there without a role. 

(4) Junior Miller, along with Sturm the most astute sports mind on the station, delivered a scorching SO this morning, predicting that Dez Bryant would be as productive as Randy Moss over his career.  One of the things I admire about Junior is that he is not one of these guys that is more interested in not being wrong than in the possibility of being spectacularly right.  That attitude makes America great.

(5) I'm still somewhat puzzled by Todd Archer.  After a promising start on The Ranch Report, I didn't think he rose to the occasion, as I suggested here and here.  Again, he's an agreeable radio presence, but what more does he bring?  In his defense, I think he was doing a live instant Q&A online during the draft last night, which was surely distracting.

Did Gordon Do That Incredibly Dumb Clarence Murphy Thing on the Corner Yesterday Just to Work in a "Moby Dick" Reference?

That is, "call me Ishmael"?

Gordon Only Wrecked Yesterday's Show a Little Bit, and Today He's Hardly Wrecking It at All

Junior is off at the Boston Marathon.  I thought they should have had Mike Bacsik sitting in for him and had a Delicious Irony show, but instead Mike Doocy sat in.

Last time Doocy was on the show, as I complained in a prior article, Gordon uttrely ruined the show with his nonstop baiting of Doocy.  I turned it off and kept it off.

Yesterday, Doocy was on again.  I turned the show on and I heard all three of them talking at once, the same old repetitive baiting with the same old gay/drug/criminal-activity witless crap.  I reached for the switch but the bit (if that is what it was -- its incomprehensibility made it hard to tell) stopped, and the show was mostly tolerable for the remainder.

Junior is recuperating today, and Doocy is on again.  Hardly any baiting.  Much better.

ALERT:  I spoke too soon.  Listening right now to Muse/News, and Gordon is every other item into a Doocy tease.  At one point, he reads a headline about HiV and simply says "Doocy" -- no associated gag, just a reflexive attempt to associate Doocy with something disreputable. 

Please don't make me listen to NPR or a show with people actually talking about sports.  Someone please get the OverGordon under control. 

I'll end on a positive note:  Gordon is a genius.  OverGordon is a flogging beyond enduring.